Anxious Love (Love Sick #1)

by Sydney Aaliyah Michelle

  I interpreted Ryan's expression as guilt. I caught a glimpse of my own in the mirror at the end of the hall as I spun on my heels and headed back to the elevator.

  My heartbeat pumped in my ears and the world tilted in and out of focus. I made it to the elevator and stabbed at the recall button. When it lit up, I rested my forehead on the wall and concentrated on breathing.

  Inhale, exhale, inhale, and exhale.

  I yelped when Ryan's voice boomed in my ear. I didn't hear him coming down the hall, which was strange since the same brick tile from the entryway lined the hallway. He reached out and took my hand; a chill ran up my spine, and I pulled away. My reflexes muffled. I knew he was speaking to me, but I couldn't hear words.

  Calm down, Leah.

  As I exhaled once more, the world popped back into my consciousness, and I heard Ryan's voice.

  "Leah, What's wrong?"

  I shook my head.

  "Come back in."

  "No, I'm fine. You go ahead." I swallowed. "Go back to your..." I didn't know who she was, so I didn't know what to call her.

  I blinked and heard footsteps coming down the hall—not one set, but two.

  "Hey, Ryan, we're heading out. You sure you two don't want to come?"

  Ryan turned and the man speaking had his hand interlaced with the tall blonde.

  "Is this her?" she asked Ryan. "He said you were beautiful."

  She reached out her hand. I saw my hand reach out and shake it.

  "Leah, this is my roommate, Daniel, and his girlfriend, Kelly."

  "It's nice to meet you," Kelly said. I reached my left hand and tugged on Ryan's T-shirt as I shook hands with Daniel.

  "Nice to meet you, too," I said, not recognizing my own voice.

  "You two go ahead. I'm beat," Ryan said.

  "Okay." The elevator arrived. They stepped in and turned around. Before the elevator closed, Daniel said, "Leah, I'm happy you're here. Maybe you can cheer him up."

  I nodded and smiled.

  Daniel was hot, as attractive as Ryan, but in an entirely different way. While Ryan was tall and thick, Daniel was long, tall, and lean. His bald head and dark complexion would have intimidated anyone, but his goofy grin made me like him instantly.

  I waved as the elevator closed and turned to look into Ryan's disapproving eyes. I couldn't read them. He headed back toward his apartment, but I remained standing by the elevator. He stopped a few feet away.

  "Are you coming?"

  I bit my lip, lowered my head, and followed. He walked into his place. I stopped at the door and surveyed my surroundings.

  Ryan plopped down in the middle of a huge leather sectional with his back to me.

  My shoes tapped along the dark hardwood floors as I walked behind the couch, checking out the rest of the place.

  His hands clasped on his lap, and he stared at the big flat screen mounted on the wall between two doors. He was engrossed in highlights on some sports channel but blinked and sat back when, instead of sitting next to him, I sat directly in his line of sight on the edge of the coffee table.

  "I'm sorry."

  "For what?" he asked studying the back of his hand. "For stopping by without calling or for thinking, I don't know what you were thinking, about Kelly, and then walking away when I called you."

  "Which one will make you forgive me faster?"

  He narrowed his eyes and his stare made my stomach flip.

  "I didn't know you and Daniel lived together."

  "It never came up."

  "Kelly is pretty."

  "What's your point?"

  "If you want me to leave..." I stood up. He grabbed my hand and squeezed my wrist.

  "No, don't leave." He sighed. I lowered myself back down on the coffee table. "I just had a bad day. And I canceled on you because I didn't want you to see me like this."

  "Why didn't you want me to see you like this?" I asked. "I thought we were doing this relationship thing. Hence, my ire at the leggy blonde answering your door and you walking around with no shirt on."

  "Ire?" He raised his eyebrows.

  "What? It's a word. It means anger, outrage, temper," I said. With each word, my tone grew more annoyed.

  "Yeah, I know what it means." Ryan narrowed his eyes.

  "What? You didn't think I knew what it means."

  "No." He looked at me like I grew horns. "It's just not typically used in conversation."

  What the fuck does that mean?

  I exhaled.

  "I'm sorry. Have we gotten off topic a little bit?"

  "What? The topic about you being jealous of Kelly?"

  "I'm ... not ... jealous." I said, over pronouncing each word. "That wasn't jealousy. It was annoyance. You cancel on me because you're tired, and I find you naked with some blond amazon."

  "Well, as you can see, I am clothed"—he pinched the shirt he now wore—"and not messing around with my roommate’s girlfriend, so you have no reason to be jealous, I mean annoyed."

  I shook my head and slapped him on the thigh. He chuckled.

  "Prodigious—"

  "Okay, little one. You keep it up?"

  I giggled. "Why did you have a bad day?"

  "Practice sucked. That's all, but I'm over it."

  "You're over it?"

  He nodded his head.

  "I guess I don't need to cheer you up then." I tilted my head and grinned when the corners of his mouth curled up.

  "Well, I'm not completely over it. If you wanted to cheer me up, you can."

  I knelt on the floor in front of him, positioning myself between his legs. He was leaning on his knees, and I placed my hands on both sides of his head and kissed him. He pressed for more, and I leaned back. I gave him a wink and kissed him again. This time, he let me take the lead. With my lips barely touching his, my tongue darted out and licked from his top to his bottom lip before I kissed him. I blew a small amount of air over his lips, and they parted. I pressed my tongue into his mouth, and he accepted it, sucking on it as I pushed him back on the couch.

  My hands moved underneath his shirt. I broke the kiss because I wanted to taste much more than his lips. I leaned over, pushed up his shirt, and kissed his stomach. My tongue traced the edge of each muscle. I peeked and saw his intense gaze watching my every move.

  "You feeling better," I said in a seductive voice that I didn't even recognize. I ran my hand over the bulge in his gym shorts.

  "Getting th-here."

  He stuttered over the word. I grinned and licked my lips. He felt large and rock solid against my palm. I kissed the muscles on his lower abs. They tensed under my lips.

  I leaned in. The smirk on his face spurred me on. The bulge in his shorts rubbed across my chests as I leaned in further. It helped my confidence. His low, deep groan made my own core flutter.

  I sat back on my heels and ran my hands down his abs, my fingers spread out to cover his firm, tan muscles. I leaned over once more, licked and kissed the spot below his belly button and his cocked twitched. I grinned and sat back, curled my fingers under the waistband of his pants, and peeled them back releasing his cock.

  My eyes grew wide as I stared. My mind flipped through the word cabinet in my mind of all the words and phrases I used to describe a man's anatomy in my books: large, huge, massive, smooth, long, hard, thick. All those words combined didn't begin to capture what Ryan's cock looked like, and what having it in front of me did to my soul. It was magnificent. Not a word I used lightly, but no other word would do it justice. I felt the urge to bow down to it like it was an unexplained structure sent from the gods for women to worship.

  I licked my lips and caught Ryan doing the same. I forgot for a minute he was attached to it. The cock.

  "So can I break the seductive role play for a minute and just say...Wow!!!"

  His chuckle got caught in his throat as my hand gripped him at the base.

  I squeezed. He winced. I ran my hand up and down the shaft, and he groaned.

  I loved the way it fe
lt in my hand. From the sounds he made, he enjoyed it, as it grew harder and straighter. In reality, I was stalling. I had no idea how to even approach it.

  Okay, a good blowjob includes moisture, tension, and suction. Oh, and I need to relax...

  "What are you thinking so hard about?" Ryan asked as he reached out and caressed my cheek. I bit my lip and felt my cheeks grow hot, but his touch sent warmth through my whole body.

  "Just planning my attack."

  Ryan grabbed himself. I pouted like he stole my favorite toy. My heart ached from its sudden absence. I stared up at him.

  "Sorry. Something about the word attack in reference to my penis..." He shook his head.

  "Okay, how about my approach, my strategy, proper protocol, if you will."

  Ryan reached out with an amused expression on his face. I placed my hand in his, and he placed my hand back on his cock.

  "I'm pretty sure if you just put your mouth on me, you're eighty percent assured success."

  "Eighty percent." I scrunched my face. "That's not good enough."

  "You write about this stuff, don't you? Improvise—"

  I didn't wait for him to finish. I placed my lips over the tip and kissed it. I peered up at him. His eyes darkened, and his hands fell to his side.

  I thought about when Ryan was between my legs; he wanted to create that first perfect taste.

  I leaned over, stuck my tongue out, and licked from base to tip in one long lick. He tasted salty and sweet. When I reached the tip, I placed him in my mouth, and he twitched. I held him between my lips and pressed. His hands fisted the couch next to his thighs. When I had enough slickness, I moved over him and took him into my mouth as far as I could while squeezing the base of his shaft.

  He was coated with moisture from my mouth mixed with his precum. The combination danced on my tongue. I moved my hand up and down his length while watching him. He reached out when I kissed the head, but his hand dropped followed by a low growl when I took him in my mouth and attempted to take him farther. His cock hit the back of my throat, and while I wanted to accommodate him, I knew I couldn't. No human could.

  With my progression stopped, I pulled off his shaft and continued to twist my fist around his shaft with slow strokes.

  I had the moisture, the tension, and from his moans, the pressure was spot-on. I went down on him again. His hand found its way to the back of my head, and he added a little pressure. I opened my mouth to protest, but then I remembered.

  Relax.

  My throat opened up, and he slid in further. It was enough.

  "Oh fuck, Leah. That's so good."

  I pulled out before panic set in. I took inventory; my insides were warm and tingling, my mouth, lips, and tongue craved the taste of him. I was determined to make him groan my name, again.

  I took him in, pausing to feel him get harder and fill my throat. I used my own breathing techniques as he slowly thrust in and out of my mouth. My hand reached up under his shirt; I dug my fingers into his chest and held on.

  "Oh God, Little One."

  I sucked harder in response to my nickname. The throbbing between my legs made me moan. I was so wet; I was sure he could smell it.

  His hand left the back of my head, and I lifted up and sat back on my heels, watching him as I stroked up and down.

  "So do you feel better, now?"

  He leaned over and grabbed my face. I gasped as his lips crushed against mine. His tongue licked my lips and pressed into my mouth. Having him taste what I tasted made me hot, and I moaned in response.

  He held my face, whispered inches away from my lips.

  "I'll feel much better if you let me do one thing."

  "What's that?" I asked, my tone breathy and sexy.

  "Let me come in that pretty little mouth." He pinched my bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger.

  I grinned, and he grinned back.

  I didn't offer him an answer. I dove back on his dick instead. I pressed it down as far as my throat would allow. The swift move caught Ryan off balance.

  I moved up and down, sucking and moaning as he swelled in my mouth. His breath became ragged. His heart thumped against the palm of my hand.

  "Leah..." He grunted and held my head down on him as his hips raised from the couch, and he let go as his hot juices coated the back of my throat.

  He was silent at first, but on the third shot, he growled and yelled, "FUCK!" before collapsing back on the coach.

  I released him and laid soft kisses up and down his shaft as it lay on his stomach. He watched his breath slow down before I pulled his sweatpants back up over his hips and his cock disappeared.

  I tapped it with my hand. "All better."

  He laughed at first, but the world went silent. He sat and stared. I stood up, but before I could sit down next to him, he pulled me into his lap. He wasted no time snaking his hand under my skirt and plunging his fingers into me.

  "Ryan . . ." I moaned before he captured my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged on it. I clawed at his thighs underneath me and squirmed to get away, but Ryan had a strong hold on me. He deepened the kiss as his hands pumped furiously between my legs. He broke off the kiss as my core clenched on his fingers and he rubbed my clit. My eyes closed, and my head fell back onto his chest. The orgasm washed over me. I rode it out while cradled in Ryan's arms.

  My fingers remained inside her as she panted and came down off her quick orgasm. The sound she made had my dick hard again.

  When I left practice today, I had convinced myself this NFL thing was a huge mistake. My roommate had talked me off the ledge; it was the first series of practices. As much as I wanted to see Leah, I didn't want to burden her with my bad mood.

  Turned out, she could handle it. She could handle me. All of me. I chuckled.

  "What's so funny?" she asked

  I held her close, loving the smell of her sex in the air. "Thank you," I answered.

  "For what?"

  "For cheering me up?"

  "You're welcome." She swung her legs around and stood up. "I should probably get going."

  I pulled her back in my lap, my hands around her waist, my lips nipped at the back of her neck.

  "Stay with me tonight?" I sucked on the back of her neck, and she shivered and giggled.

  "Okay." She turned her head, and I captured her lips in a kiss before letting her go so she could stand up.

  "Where’s the bathroom?"

  "Through my room." I pointed at the door in the back of the apartment. "I have T-shirts in my closet if you want to get comfortable."

  I watched her head in the direction of my room. I wanted her here. I was so turned on by her, but it didn't take away the shitty week of practice.

  I pushed myself off the couch, turned off the lights in the living room, and went to find her.

  She finished up in the bathroom as I walked into the room. The T-shirt she picked out fell to her knees. She could have belted it and wore it as a dress.

  "I guess I need to get you some Saint T-shirts that fit."

  "I like it." She looked down at herself. "But not really sexy, huh."

  I dropped on the edge of the bed and motioned for her to come toward me. "You are always sexy to me."

  As she approached, I scooted up the bed and rested my head against the brown leather headboard of my king-size bed. My legs crossed at the ankles.

  Leah crawled on the bed, sauntered up my outstretched legs, and straddled my lap. I loved the way she felt in my arms—cute, small, and adorable, but she was sexy and strong. I squeezed her tight, and she squealed. I reached under her T-shirt and paused.

  I pulled back and lifted up the T-shirt. She had on a pair of my boxers.

  "It's okay if I borrowed these, too?" She bit her lip and batted her eyes. I loved that coy shit coming from her.

  "What happened to your panties?" My hand moved up the leg of her shorts.

  "They got all wet." She pouted and looked up at me between her eyelashes. I leaned in and press
ed my tongue into her mouth. She moaned around it, and I pulled her closer. Situating her over my lap. She moaned, but again cut her moan off with a distressed sigh.

  She pulled her lips off mine and sat back a few inches, and my cock groaned.

  "What's wrong?" I asked.

  "Tell me about your day?"

  "Now?" I held my hands out. "You want to talk now."

  "Yeah." She sat up, swung her leg off me, and sat with her head resting on the headboard. She took one of my hands and placed it on her lap. I could feel the heat from her body. I knew she was as turned on as I was, but she stopped us from going further. She wanted to know about my day.

  I leaned over and opened my mouth to say something to get our attention back to how hard she made me with her sexy ass, but I looked over at her, her wide eyes looking up at me, waiting for me to talk. I sighed.

  "At practice on Tuesday, we were doing seven on seven drills. First team against first team." I stood up and pulled the cover back on the bed. "You know what that is?"

  "I assume it’s when seven guys on the first team offense go against seven guys on first team defense."

  "Very good, little one." She grinned as she slid her beautiful legs under the covers. I climbed in next to her, rolled over to my side, and propped my head on my elbow. She scooted up next to me, resting her head on my pillow. I reached around her waist and pulled her closer as I leaned over and placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose and continued my story.

  "So McDaniel, he's the starting left tackle. The coach asked him to move to the right and put me at left tackle. He gets an attitude with me, but I ignore it. Well, I do okay at left tackle. Hitting my assignments on most of the snaps. We both did well. Then the next day, we switch. I'm on the right, and he's on the left. I suck at right tackle. I mean it's all backward."

  "How did McDaniel do at right tackle?"

  "The guy's a pro bowler at both sides." She nodded as I continued. "The coaches are all over me all day, but I put my head down and keep at it. At the end of practice, McDaniel walked by me and says some shit like, fucking left tackle is my spot, rookie. So I get in his face and push him, and he pushes back. The coaches came in and broke it up before it could turn into anything. I'm walking out of the locker room after practice, and the dick comes up to me and says, too bad the coaches won't let first-round draft picks fight their own battles. Some other teammates spoke up for me. It was a weird situation. I respect the guy. I mean he's been doing this for six years, but I never had to prove myself to my teammates. You know. Not in this way."