by Laura Landon
“Would you like more tea?” Nellie asked, trying to buy time before she had to begin her explanation.
“No,” Lizzy answered. “We’d like to hear why your husband of not even four months is living in London, and his pregnant wife is here in the country.”
“Because that is how we choose to live our lives—separately.”
Her sisters stared at her, wide-eyed. “Surely, you don’t mean that you don’t intend to live together?” Brie asked.
“Actually, we do.”
Nellie pulled away from her sister and rose from the loveseat. She needed to remove herself from the closeness she’d always felt when near her sisters in order to explain what she and Hugh had decided.
She walked to the French windows that opened onto the terrace and looked out onto the garden. Fall flowers were in early bloom, and Nellie wanted to run outside and avoid the conversation with her sisters. But that wasn’t possible.
“This is difficult for me to share,” Nellie said. “I know you will think less of me when you hear it.”
“We won’t,” her sisters assured her.
“We could never think ill of you, Nell. You know that. We love you too much to think anything bad.”
“Nevertheless . . .”
“Did Wythers force himself on you, Nellie? Did he—”
Nellie turned from the French windows and faced her sisters. “No, Brie! No, he would never have done anything so horrible. He’s never been anything but a gentleman.”
Nellie clasped her hands over her growing babe and tried to calm her nerves. It would take all her courage to admit what she needed to. “It wasn’t Lord Wythers’ idea to marry. It was mine,” she lied.
“Yours?” they asked.
“Yes. When I met Lord Wythers, he was desperate to find a bride with a substantial dowry. His father had tired of him living a carefree lifestyle in London and wanted him to settle down.”
“Which he didn’t want to do,” Lizzy said.
Nellie smiled. “No, which he didn’t want to do.”Nellie walked back to the sofa and sat with her sisters. “To encourage him to settle down, his father gave him Red Oaks Estate. He was to manage the estate and live on the profits the estate provided him.”
“Why was that so disagreeable to him?” Brie asked.
“Lord Wythers feels the same about living in the country as I do about living in the City.”
“Oh,” Brie and Lizzy both said on a sigh.
“Yes. Oh,” Nellie said. “And to make matters more disastrous, Lord Wythers is not at all familiar with the running of a country estate.”
“Which you are,” Lizzy said.
“Yes, which I am.” She twisted the fabric of her gown in her fingers as she searched for the right words. “This is the part that you are going to find the most difficult to condone. But I found Lord Wythers’ problem advantageous to what I wanted.”
“What did you want, Nellie?” Brie asked.
“What each of you have,” she admitted. “A husband. Children. A home of my own. But I’ve always been passed over when it comes to the marriage market. I wasn’t blessed with the special looks each of you possess.”
Her sisters both attempted to protest what Nellie had just said. She held up her hand to stop her sisters’ arguments. “You know the truth of it, the same as I do. And so, when I became aware of Lord Wythers’ predicament, I approached him with a solution.”
“What was your solution?” Brie asked.
“That I manage his estate and he live the life he so desperately wanted to live in London.”
Her sisters both stared at her with varying degrees of shock and disbelief.
Nellie concentrated on her sisters’ expressions. She could handle the astonishment and the surprise. She could even excuse their outrage. But she could not live with the pity she saw.
Her sisters had attempted to match her with eligible bachelors in Society from the day Brie married before her older sister. There was a renewed effort each time another sister married. Yet, each attempt ended in failure—and total embarrassment on Nellie’s part. She’d reached the point where she could no longer abide her sisters trying to find her a husband.
“I am happy here,” Nellie said. “Truly, I am. You know how I love living in the country. I have a home of my own. And now I will have a child. I’ve never been happier.”
“Does Lord Wythers know he’s to be a father?” Brie asked.
Nellie lowered her gaze to her lap.
“Oh, Nellie. How can you have his child and not tell him?”
“He’ll know in time,” Nellie said, knowing that her answer was no answer at all. Her sisters looked relieved.
“I’m sure that when he discovers you’re carrying his child, he’ll come back,” Lizzy said.
Nellie shook her head.
“Why? Don’t you think he will care enough to return?”
“Perhaps,” Nellie answered. “But it will not matter. He has given me his word that he will not return.”
“He’s given his word?” Brie asked. “You asked him to give you his word that he would never return?”
“Yes. It’s best that way.”
“How can you say that, Nellie?”
Nellie looked at the shock and disbelief on her sisters’ faces. “Because I cannot go through the pain of him leaving me over and over again.”
Brie’s and Lizzy’s eyes filled with tears that spilled down their cheeks. “Oh, Nellie. How horrible for you,” Brie said.
Nellie tried to smile through the tears she could not stop from filling her eyes. “Don’t feel badly for me. I have more than I ever thought I would. And in time, I’ll have a child. Please, be as happy for me as I am.”
Nellie’s sisters stayed most of the afternoon, and they enjoyed their time together, but Nellie could tell that her news cast a gloomy pallor over their visit.
She stood at the window and watched the carriage carrying her sisters away. She hoped that in time they would understand why she’d made the choices she had. But she doubted they ever would.
They’d never walked in her shoes.
“My lady.”
Nellie turned. “Yes, Fredericks?”
“Another letter has arrived for you.”
The butler approached her, and Nellie took the letter from his outstretched hand. “Thank you, Fredericks.”
Nellie held Hugh’s letter close to her for several moments, then carried it to her room. She paused a moment and ran her fingers over Hugh’s familiar handwriting before walking to the small writing desk near the window and opening the center drawer. She removed a bundle of letters and untied the blue ribbon that held them together, then placed this one with them. She retied the bundle with the blue ribbon, then tenderly placed the stack of unopened letters back inside.
She stared at the growing number of letters for several moments, then she went back down, sat at her desk, and began working on the ledgers.
Only a few tears fell onto the pages of the ledger. An improvement from the rivers of tears that had fallen when the first letter had arrived.
Chapter 12
“My lord,” his valet’s voice called him from a sound sleep.
Hugh cracked his eyes open enough to see his valet and two other valets who looked identical to Caruthers standing at the end of the bed. “This had better be important, Caruthers,” Hugh growled.
“You have callers, my lord. Captain Palmer and Lieutenant Danvers.”
“What the hell are they doing here at this ungodly hour of the morning?”
“It’s nearly three in the afternoon, my lord.”
“Uggggh,” Hugh groaned as he dropped his head face down into his pillow. “Tell them to come back tomorrow.”
“I already told them you weren’t receiving.”
“Did they go away?”
“No, my lord. They said if . . . if you . . . uh . . .”
“Out with it. What did they say?”
“They said that if you wer
en’t down there in . . . uhum . . . in five minutes they were going to come up here and . . . um . . . throw a bucket of water on you.”
Hugh bolted up. “Bloody hell they are!” He tumbled from his bed, then grabbed the bedpost until the room stopped spinning. Had he gotten that foxed again last night? He tried to recall what they’d done, but couldn’t remember anything after the third . . . or was it the fourth? . . . gaming hell they’d gone to.
“Tell them I’ll be down in three minutes. And have a pot of that white willow tea waiting for me.”
“Yes, my lord.”Caruthers turned to walk away, then stopped. “And they asked that you dress to go out.”
“At three in the afternoon? Where do they think we’re going at three in the afternoon?”
“I’m not sure, my lord. They simply instructed me to tell you that riding gear would be appropriate.”
Hugh took his first tentative step on his own, then reached for the nearest piece of furniture to steady himself. “Then you’d best tell them it will take me the full five minutes.”
“Yes, my lord. I’ll return shortly to see you dressed.”
“Yes, Caruthers. That might be good.”
When Caruthers was gone, Hugh lowered his head into a basin of water and held his breath as long as he could. He tried to remember what he’d done last night, but nothing special came to mind. Nothing other than the gaming and drinking that was a nightly occurrence.
An hour later, he stumbled down the stairs to meet his friends.
“It’s about time,” Jeb said, then stopped. “Bloody hell, Lieutenant. You look like hell.”
“Thank you,” Hugh said walking over to the sideboard. He needed a drink.
“No!” Jeb said, bolting from the chair. “You’re not starting already.”
Hugh intended to ignore Jeb, but Caleb appeared beside him, and the two of them prevented Hugh from filling a glass. “Besides,” Caleb said, “we’re going out.”
“Out where?” Hugh asked.
“Out in the sunshine,” Caleb answered. “Out where you can breathe in some fresh air.”
“Out where your mind can clear, and you can think again,” Jeb said.
“I can think perfectly well in here,” Hugh answered.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Caleb answered. He already had hold of Hugh’s arm and was leading him across the foyer to the front entrance. “You haven’t been able to think straight for the past six months. Not since you left your wife back at Red Oaks.”
“I don’t have a wife,” Hugh said as Jeb hooked his arm through Hugh’s and led him to the three horses in front of his townhouse.
“That’s not what your marriage license says,” Jeb said.
“Perhaps not.” Hugh mounted his horse. “But that’s what my wife says.”
Hugh saw Jeb and Caleb exchange glances, but he didn’t stay around to answer any of their questions. He turned his horse down the street and headed for Hyde Park. This wasn’t the ideal time to go riding—too many of Society’s elite were about strutting their newest hats and gowns. And the men were showing off which female they were courting this week. But perhaps this might be a slow day, and he could get in a good romp down Rotten Row.
Jeb and Caleb followed him. They entered through the west gate and headed toward Rotten Row. They hadn’t reached their destination before Hugh looked ahead to where a carriage holding three of Nellie’s sisters approached them.
“What?” Jeb said, pulling up next to him.
Hugh found himself caught on the horns of a dilemma. They’d seen him. If he pretended he hadn’t seen them, they would most likely take it as a cut direct. If he greeted them, he opened himself to answering questions better left unsaid.
But Nellie deserved courage from him, so without answering Jeb he crossed to where Lady Brianna, Lady Elizabeth, and Lady Daphne were enjoying a leisurely drive. “Good day, my ladies,” he said when he reached them. He lifted his top hat with great deference to his wife’s sisters.
“My lord,” they all greeted in return.
Hugh noticed their lack of enthusiasm. He also noticed the narrowing of their gazes as they looked at him. Bollocks. It was obvious they’d heard about the arrangement he had with their sister and didn’t approve.
Well, he didn’t approve of it either, but he wanted to bellow that the choice wasn’t his. It was their sister who’d set the rules, and even though he’d written her every week for the past six months asking if he could come to see her, she hadn’t answered any of his requests. Not one. Not once.
Hugh introduced Jeb and Caleb to Nellie’s sisters—though all had met at the wedding—then asked the question that was most on his mind. “Have you heard from my wife recently?”
Lady Brianna’s eyebrows arched. “Yes. Have you?”
Hugh’s head pounded hard enough from last night’s drinking to make him irritable. The condescending expressions on Nellie’s sisters’ faces made him even more short-tempered. “Actually, I have not. My wife is very lax in writing. It has been several months, in fact.”
“Then you do not know—” Lady Elizabeth started to say, but Lady Brianna cut her off.
“What don’t I know?” Hugh asked.
“Um . . . that tomorrow is Nellie’s birthday,” Lady Daphne finished for them.
“No, I didn’t know.” Hugh felt the fool. Shouldn’t a husband know when his wife’s birthday was? Shouldn’t he have bought her a gift? “It was a pleasure visiting with you. If you’ll excuse me, I thought of something I need to take care of.”
“Of course, my lord,” Nellie’s sisters answered.
Hugh knew his departure was abrupt, but he had something to do. And he couldn’t put it off.
He should reach Red Oaks in time to join Nellie for lunch, if he was lucky. The distance from London to Red Oaks had never seemed so long as it did today. If a thunderstorm hadn’t come up after he’d left Nellie’s sisters, he would have left for Red Oaks late yesterday afternoon and ridden in the dark. But the weather had turned too menacing to travel. Instead, he’d packed what he thought he’d need and rode out this morning as soon as it was light enough to see.
Today was her birthday, the perfect excuse to come to see her. He knew she could hardly refuse to see him on her birthday.
He crested a long hill, then turned into the lovely lane that ended at Red Oak’s front door. He dismounted, then handed the reins to a stable boy and went through the door Fredericks held open for him.
“Welcome home—”
Hugh placed his finger over his mouth to silence the butler. He didn’t want Nellie to know he was there. “Where’s my wife?” he whispered.
“She’s in the study, my lord. She’s been working on the books all morning.”
Hugh nodded, then walked down the hallway to the study. He knocked on the study door, then turned the handle.
“Yes, Fredericks?”
“You have a visitor, my lady,” he said as he stepped into the room.
She was bent over the ledgers laid out before her, but at his voice, her head lifted. Her eyes opened wide, and the pen in her hand fell from her fingers.
He only had a moment to take in the woman before him. He’d seen her every night in his dreams, but here, in person, she had a radiance his dreams couldn’t convey. Hers was the face he’d waited months to see. He couldn’t imagine that he hadn’t thought she was beautiful when he’d first met her. He couldn’t fathom that he hadn’t noticed her uniqueness. He did now, and his heart swelled in his chest.
She was his wife. And he’d missed her.
“Happy birthday, my love,” he said.
“Hugh!”
“Yes, Nellie.” He moved to walk toward her. He wanted to hold her. He needed to kiss her. He was desperate to show her how much he’d missed her.
Her eyes filled with tears, and he took that as a good sign. She’d missed him, too. There was a certain glow about her, and he wanted nothing more than to take her to bed and make love to her
.
She slid back her chair as he neared her, then braced her hands on the arms of the chair and slowly rose to her feet.
He didn’t notice anything was different at first. He was too moved by the tears streaming down her cheeks. Too touched by the emotion on her face.
Little by little though, his gaze moved from her face to where her hands rested on her extended stomach. He looked at the mound that pushed her gown from her body, then his gaze darted to her face. “Nellie?”
A tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped it away.
“Nellie?” he repeated.
She turned and seemed to lose her balance.
Hugh reached out to steady her.
She would have stepped out of his grasp had he not held her. She would have turned away from him if he would have allowed it. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
He knew if he released her now he would never get her back.
Chapter 13
Nellie was desperate to escape Hugh’s arms. Not because she didn’t want him to hold her. There was no place she was more desperate to be than in his arms. But she knew that once he held her, she would never want him to leave her. The pain of losing him for a second time would be more than she could bear.
She buried her face against his chest and allowed the tears to escape that she’d held at bay since she knew his babe grew inside her. Somehow she’d been able to pretend she could survive without him being a part of her life. Now she knew what a lie that had been. Now that he’d walked back into her life, she knew nothing would ever be the same.
“Nellie?” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Why?”
He didn’t finish his sentence, but she knew what he was asking her.
He kissed her cheek, then kissed her at that tender spot beneath her ear. With trembling fingers, he lightly touched her stomach.
As if the babe realized he was meeting his father for the first time, he kicked against her. Hugh’s expression turned to fear, and he pulled his hand away.
