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March Book

Page 4

by Jesse Ball


  “Yes, well, pay up.”

  They went into another room.

  Joan removed her skirt and blouse

  and began to recite from memory

  Ball’s infamous Study No. 11.

  “That’s good,” he said quietly. “That’s perfect.”

  PARABLE OF THE WITNESS

  I came to in a canebrake, covered in bruises.

  “Oh, Maria,” I shouted, “come carry me home!”

  And there she was, that old nanny, in her patched

  white nightgown, queer book of stories under her arm.

  “You should have been an invalid.

  What have legs ever done for you that I couldn’t have?”

  “Good woman!” I cried. “To candor, and to witnessing!”

  We were off.

  The hounds broke around us;

  the mad dash drew steam. We escaped.

  Oh, sorrow, seventh failure of a vaunted family,

  I came to in a canebreak all alone,

  and sat for hours, intent on the ground.

  Never a word did I speak.

  No sign there was of anyone

  come to hurry me home.

  LESTER, BURMA

  For J.Z.

  Lester and Burma were speaking gaily. He had encountered her in the hallway. Hello, he said, you certainly are a sight for sore eyes. They proceeded to a room adjoining that hall, where a large window opened onto the street. I would like to have you for supper, said Burma, and took off her dress.

  I am appalled, said the doorman to the coachman, and the coachman to the gardener, at the way the young lady disports herself. You would think she had been brought up better than that.

  Burma was wearing no underwear, and her slender body looked very nice on Lester’s sofa. He said so. Thank you, said Burma. I swim each day, and use fine oils. Of course you do, said Lester.

  What will happen, said Lester’s father to Lester’s mother, when that boy gets to the big city? Who will he fall in with? Will he return in ten years’ time and shower us with gifts and remembrance? Or will he, said Lester’s father to Lester’s sickly uncle, die from the plague like all his cousins? Perhaps he will take to the sea and become a privateer, with a letter of marque. I would like that, said the uncle. I would like that also, said Lester’s father.

  A cloud of bees overtook the window and screened the room for a minute. Do you think they’ll harm us? asked Lester. Why, no, said Burma, they’re just curious. Aren’t you ever curious? Yes, quite, said Lester, laying his hand upon her thigh.

  The beekeeper paused by his hives. A cloud of bees is missing, he said, to no one in particular. I hope the little creatures aren’t up to any mischief. I hope they return by dark so I can tuck them in their little beds and read them fairy tales.

  At any rate, said Lester, we might at least have a look in the bedroom and see what’s going on in there. Yes, said Burma, we might at least do that. Just to know for sure. The bedroom door closed softly behind them.

  And when the bees returned to their hive, the beekeeper was there with glad tears and an admonishing word. He read them a story from a fine book he’d just bought, in which a boy and girl go to bed together with no other reason than that it is nice to be in bed with a boy and it is nice to be in bed with a girl and it is nice to wake up midway through a life in early evening to the buzzing of bees in an adjoining room.

  IN PART

  Sit quiet. Lie still.

  Let walls stand, and windows break.

  Let fires burn low.

  Someone’s set chairs in a circle.

  Someone’s wandering asleep in a cursed house.

  And the joy that has its home

  in the belly at the base of the soul,

  let it come, let it go. Let trees be bowed

  by weight, let streams race, and moss decay.

  The trembling of furred limbs will not cease—

  no one’s word, however bold,

  will banish this cold. And so, sit for no

  portraits, stay for no relinquishings.

  There was a moment when I was aware

  of beings in the air above my head.

  Have they left? Or do they loiter there,

  attendant, faithful? Sit quiet,

  and let the water be, let the false face

  arrange itself or not, as marble basins

  fill with rain, fill and empty,

  empty of their own accord.

  UNTITLED

  The villain in the red suit

  may be told to go, and he will go.

  The girl who stares may be made

  to turn away, and she may.

  Concerns are soluble,

  difficulties mended.

  But this—that the tragedy of your life

  may lie in wait, disguised as your life.

  She told me just last night, dystrophy, saying,

  “I’m a fool. I’m such a fool.”

  In the dream I had last night,

  I drove an ambulance. Everyone

  praised me, the doctors even,

  for my recklessness.

  In the midst of it, I left a patient

  forgotten in the van.

  The dream shifted;

  someone had been saying,

  “We’re there. We’re almost

  there,” in a comforting voice. Then silence.

  I woke and realized how far I am,

  how very far from the world.

  The girl who stares may turn away.

  The red-suited man may go, may stay.

  Can’t we refuse life’s claims?

  Isn’t that what honor tells us?

  I saw a speck on the horizon, moving

  as if to overtake the sun. And so I say:

  “In these unruly days, even prayer may be true.”

  Though it has never been true, in these

  unruly days, let prayer be true.

  SHIP’S MANIFEST

  The best of us have retired our skepticism

  and bury letter after letter

  in the salted ground of a parricide yard.

  This is to say, we address the unknown

  by shouting after the uncompromised.

  FROM A CLEARING

  I was set upon by three men.

  I felled the first with a word,

  the second with a blow.

  Beyond them the pale city

  Fortune beckoned.

  But the third, oh, the third.

  His face was hidden.

  And in his hands he held

  parchment twisted

  like the bones of my throat.

  MARCH HOUR

  I gave the child a coin; it promised not to speak.

  Beyond the shallow lake, a leak had come

  through the ceiling. Paint ran, and the face

  the crowd had worn was now become

  wholly new. For instance, the servant girl, staid,

  in severe linen, now wore her coyness like a bell.

  “Remember, keep quiet!” I said, hurrying off.

  If I got to her in time, she might yet remember

  some past we might have had, in a nameless Welsh room.

  DIAGRAM

  Everyone I know is asleep right now.

  I’m in a room full of strangers.

  The door unlocks to admit another man

  I’ve never seen before. It should

  be morning soon, though I can’t say

  how long I’ve been here. All I know is

  we’ve been telling lies, trying

  to hurt a man we’ve tied to a chair

  in the center of the room. He’ll believe

  anything. I tell him he’s part

  of an enormous experiment, that his wife

  is a scientist and cares only for numbers.

  He nods and mumbles, “I suspected

  as much.” Someone comes up with the idea

  of keeping him in the box where we raise

  flies.
“He’ll be uncomfortable,

  I’m sure of it.” Heads nod. No one knows

  where the man came from, where

  we came from, when we’ll be allowed

  to go. “I think we need to convince him

  of something,” says a man whose face

  is entirely covered by old bandages.

  “Let’s use the garden hose,” murmurs

  someone’s cruel son. “Let’s shave

  all the hair off his body.”

  In the next room, a child prodigy

  is playing piano. We all strain to listen.

  The man we’ve tied up taps his foot

  in time with the music, hums the tune.

  “I’ve always loved Ravel,” he says,

  to no one in particular. The old man

  who holds the door grimaces, glares.

  “That was Schoenberg, not Ravel.”

  “Quite right, I was mistaken,” says the man.

  “If only you knew,” I said, smiling.

  General laughter, then silence.

  INSTRUCTIONS

  Presently he happened to think

  that perhaps what was required of him

  would not be precisely

  what he had been told.

  He thought about that. Yes,

  in fact, it was quite likely that

  what he was told would have

  very little to do with what was intended,

  with what was supposed

  to occur, and as he was the only one

  working toward that end, influencing

  these most particular of events, then surely

  his instructions must have been

  incorrect from the start. The question,

  therefore, was twofold: one, to what end

  would he have been given

  a false set of instructions and, two,

  despite all this, what should he do

  in order to finish the work as planned?

  He took a few steps back

  and pondered the problem.

  Of course, in a matter of minutes

  another shift would start. After all,

  the whole thing was the foreman’s fault.

  He really oughtn’t do

  more than he’d been told to.

  In fact, such a deviation might

  be fatal, in other circumstances.

  Yes, yes, it would be best for him

  to leave the work undone,

  to walk briskly about the factory floor,

  seemingly busy,

  until someone else, another employee

  in this ridiculous enterprise,

  should come to relieve him. Of course,

  if no one came, if no one should ever

  come again, then he would have

  no choice but to finish the work,

  in whatever manner seemed possible, hoping

  that by chance he would please

  someone with the power to grant him

  the sort of life he’d wanted as a boy.

  IN VEILS

  An argosy, arriving at a port of call, may find

  the city emptied of all save the sentinel

  trees that watch over stretching avenues,

  may find, stacked beyond city walls,

  the famine-ridden, the dead diseased,

  in piles of color.

  It’s then we know it’s time to turn our ships around

  and trail off into the trial of evening, toward home,

  and hope that what we return to we will find

  untouched by the pestilence of the other shore.

  And our return to the home city! Our reception

  at the hands of the populace. The kissing of rings,

  the praising of prayer and merchant. Yet somehow

  we are blamed for turning back. For it was our word

  alone that named the sea impassable. Years pass.

  There is now nothing to the east of us. There is

  no trade. Ships rot in the harbor. Men once able

  fall to dice, find themselves in afternoon, in poverty

  beneath the shade of trees. Singers revel

  among crowds at the shore pavilion. Watchers

  on the cliff heights will see no sails. They sun

  themselves on rocks and watch

  for cloud banks, vast and unformed. The rain

  replies with the curtaining of monotony. Silk dancers

  silhouette themselves upon a hundred stages. Courtesans

  with smooth shoulders stand alone in gardens. And here,

  among the discarded satiates of inconclusion,

  we remember the maps we once followed,

  and speak of the inchoate godhead that troubled us

  in the guise of tide, of fame, of fever.

  A TALE

  Plangent tones may string

  an instrument. How then to string

  a soul across the mention of these limbs?

  Fables wheel in the pier glass.

  The angers of small men infect

  even the wells, which center,

  cruciform now, on festivals of birth.

  Carlos, I have devised a method

  by which to build the place

  in which I may be happy.

  It is difficult, involves altitude

  and the early afternoon. A maypole,

  a wharf: set against

  gray morning in the freight of spring.

  What I am told I want

  I do not want. This is how

  one begins to be happy, by leading

  a slow trail through the brazen

  chorus of disbelief. The routed

  are running still, on an immense hillside

  beneath a single yellow cloud.

  We are speaking now

  at the hill’s edge, where crooked trees

  conceal our ugliness.

  Do you hear me? We are the routed.

  There are no others. Upon our arms,

  the scars of proscription. Within our

  lifeless eyes, the stamping out of fire.

  PROBLEMS OF WARFARE

  Lindy tells me another one has washed ashore.

  It’s late afternoon, but there’s light yet,

  so we walk down to have a look. And here,

  she says, is his helmet. And here, his canteen.

  He had no gun, or rather, if he had it, it must

  have been lost along the way. The soldier

  peers up at us, hostile and weak. Lindy laughs

  and throws a bit of sand in his face. This makes

  the soldier flinch, and one can see he’s trying

  to bring his arm up. Of course,

  we can’t have that. So Lindy and I, we set

  to clubbing the soldier, I with my heavy

  stick, she with a rock tied up in cloth. He’s

  the third in a week, soon weaker from our treatment

  than he was from the sea. “Depart!” I shout, “Fail!”

  and strike him heavily in the temple so his face

  crumples in a wrong way. I can tell his skull

  won’t bear up much more. Snuffling sounds

  come unbidden from the cavity

  of his nose and mouth. But we shall stay

  to hear no words.

  Now, Lindy, Lindy dear, let’s head up the hill

  and have our supper. The dogs will find their way

  and finish this, such as it is, tonight.

  THE PRINCIPAL AVENUE

  A calliope? A room in the house where I

  was born? I was never told. Don’t think

  your attendance at some latter-day unveiling

  gives the lie to much of anything. A cipher

  is second to last in any number of wild lists

  made with you in mind. And besides,

  I’m starting to recall chords of pure volume,

  wide as the principal avenue in some

  unquestioned history.
If it was not my name

  it was the beginning of my name, a word said

  slowly, long ago, having in mind

  the whole of this, the entire plain of featureless

  days, and how they figure in the play of nerves

  across an uncomposed face.

  PRAIRIE HERMITAGE

  Trappists with beveled faces neglect the lower rooms

  of this old house in which they shelter. God keeps

  to the rooftops in our town, where men are known

  by silhouettes of sun-blanched feature, women

  by the motion of fans. Here we are not often called upon

  to attend to bells, or to the clarion of visiting voices.

  A hundred years ago, when the prairie was the fact

  of this place, the Felk brothers, barbers,

  were hanged among the limbs of the Great Oak

  that presides over New Trafalgar Square.

  They were highway robbers, apprehended in their guise

  as ordinary men. As such they died.

  From this house of worship, the scene opens

  with a monk gesturing, calling though not speaking,

  as a terrible wind musters in the eastern reaches of the sky.

  For weeks a thousand mile storm has grown closer.

  It’s clear we shall wake tomorrow to weather as it was

  before men knew the causes of the world.

  5

  Several Replies in a Numbered Column

  One does not need to be an aerobatic artist or a trick shooter;

  rather, (one has) to have the courage to fly right up to the opponent.

  —Manfred von Richthofen,

 

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