“Arctic Hotel.” Cheza says curiously while dressed in jeans and the tan sweater that I bought for her and Tia gave her for her birthday.
I pull out my phone and use Google satellite maps to search for an alleyway near the hotel. After the eight hour flight, it’s already 10pm here in Ilulissat Greenland so this should be sufficient for porting without being seen…by one of the less than 5,000 people in this…town? Or does a population that small constitute calling it a village?
“Okay, both of you need to touch me.” I state.
(Phrasing)
“Uh, Cole? I think we already did that and then some.” Natasha says.
“Just touch my chest.” I tell them and they do.
“Natasha, please stop rubbing my nipple, it’s distracting.” I request as I grab my bag with my left hand. Natasha stops, I visualize the alleyway, and I touch my triskele. Wow, it just became a tad chilly.
“Whoa! Cole, that was awesome!” Natasha exclaims.
“Thanks Natasha, but can you stop rubbing my nipple?” I ask.
“Are you sure you want me to?” Natasha asks while pushing her chest out, tilting her head, and batting her eyes at me.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I reply in a flat tone.
Chapter 31: Small Silver Lining
I grab my luggage, walk around the corner, and head into the hotel lobby. Natasha and Cheza follow me into the place where the temperature isn’t below freezing. I walk up to the counter and see something that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest:
There is a dog working the reception desk.
“Hello…I would like to check in.” I say. The white sled dog tilts its head to the side in response.
(He probably doesn’t speak English)
“Right…thank you, Airi.”
I pull out my phone, open up my translating app, and have it ask the question in Danish since Greenlandic isn’t an option.
Airi, Natasha, and Cheza all start laughing their asses off. Natasha walks up and rings the bell that is underneath the sign that says ‘PLEASE RING BELL’ that I was too distracted by the dog to notice. An Inuit guy, who is probably Cheza’s age, walks in from the back while trying really hard not to laugh.
“I’d like to check in please. The reservation should be under Treyfair.” I say. The clerk is still trying really hard not to laugh and to keep doing so, he can’t respond as he enters my name in the computer. He slides a packet of card keys to me and hands me a map to the room.
“Thank you.” I grab my luggage and follow the map to the room with the girls on my heels. We get to the room, which is miniscule compared to the one in Hawaii, and I notice that there is only one bed.
“I’ll go see if they have another room.” I say and turn around in time to see Cheza lock the door.
“Why would you ever go and do a silly thing like that?” Natasha says as she presses herself up against me, and then Cheza comes over and does the same.
“Ladies…I’m still tired from before and then the porting us here...” I say as they push me onto the bed and rip my jeans off.
“Sorry, I’m just too tired; I won’t be able to get it up!” I say while completely flaccid until Cheza grabs my junk. I really wish that she didn’t have the ability to control my blood right about now. I see that I won’t be getting out of this so I proceed to pleasure both of them.
“FASTER!” they both scream; I oblige.
“HARDER!” they both scream; I oblige once again.
“You know, I’m starting to feel like a piece of meat.” I inform them as Natasha rides me while I’m in a ‘crab-walk’ position.
“Yes, but at least you’re a piece of meat that is having a threesome.” Cheza points out.
“Now hurry up or Chezarei and I will just leave you out of it!” Natasha threatens.
“You mean that’s an option!?” I ecstatically ask.
“SHUT UP!” they both shout.
“Yes mistresses…” I timidly reply as I thrust upward.
…
[June 3rd]
The girls finally fall asleep three hours later, after they have been thoroughly satisfied.
“I think I’ve just been raped…”
(What’s that? Raped? Here you go mate, that’ll take the edge off. It’s called a Jeffrey)
“WHY THE FUCK IS IT CALLED A JEFFREY!?”
(Because who could be scared of a Jeffrey? Just stroke the furry wall Aaron. KEEP STROKING THE WALL!)
“Hahaha thanks Airi!”
(Just remember that you were raped by two beautiful women and you didn’t find yourself screaming ‘WHY DOES IT HAVE BALLS!?’) 16
“That’s true; there is that small silver lining.”
I fall asleep next to Cheza and Natasha only to wake up at 2:30am. I slowly get out of bed, so as to not wake up the girls, and I walk out onto the balcony. The aurora borealis is pretty nice, but not quite worth the shrinkage I am currently experiencing because I’m in my boxers and it is literally freezing out here.
“Hey Cole, can’t sleep?” Cheza asks as she steps out onto the balcony wearing panties and a camisole, her nips immediately popping in response to the cold (not that mine aren’t).
“You too?” I ask.
“Not without you…” Cheza responds as she moves in to hug me. I hold her against my right side as we look up at the aurora borealis.
“The northern lights are really pretty…” Cheza says quietly.
“Yeah, but they’re better with you here.” I tell her.
(Good job not going with the obvious ‘not as pretty as you’ response but it’s still a little cheesy, just sayin’)
We stand there in silence for a few moments, just holding each other.
“Hey Cole, give me your left hand for a second.” She requests.
I lift my left hand up for her to take while getting a flashback of when I almost died in her lap. As I continue staring at the northern lights, I feel her playing with my hand and then I feel something on my ring finger.
“Cole…will you marry me?” Cheza asks somewhat timidly.
“Cheza…It’s not that I don’t love you…” I say while trying to find the correct phrasing.
“Then what is it?” Cheza inquires with tears forming in her eyes.
“I just don’t really know if I want to get married. There is a pretty decent chance that I’ll be dead before the year is up and the last thing I want to do is make you a teenage widow; this isn’t the 1800’s.” I explain.
“…How about a five year engagement?” Cheza suggests. I think for the better part of a minute.
“Okay…but only if we can switch roles. You’ll be Jason Segel and I’ll be what’s-her-face. I’ll get shot in the leg with an arrow and you can grow the awesome mutton chops!” I respond.
“Haha! That’s fine with me, darling.” Cheza says with a million dollar smile and tears in her eyes. I bend my head down and kiss her before we go back to snuggling as we look skyward.
“Does this make Natasha my concubine?” I ask a few moments later.
“No…it makes her my mistress that I occasionally share with you.” Cheza says so seriously that I am forced to look at her. She just stares back at me with an innocent smile.
“Oh, here.” Cheza says and puts an identical ring on my right middle finger.
It’s my first time actually looking at the rings: they’re a dark tungsten carbide band with a carbon fiber inlay that is covered by some kind of clear plastic polymer.
“What’s this all about? Why do I need two rings?” I inquire.
“Twist the clear part counter-clockwise…or clockwise if that doesn’t work; I may have put the rings on backwards.” Cheza tells me.
I do as she says and twist the right ring counter-clockwise. It turns and when a triangular hole in the plastic reaches a certain point, the plastic locks in place. I look at the ring in the radiating light and see that a tiny, spring-loaded, carbon fiber blade has been ejected. I twist it clockwise and the plastic forces t
he blade back down.
“This is totally awesome Cheza! These will be really useful! Where did you get them?” I ask.
“Well, remember that night with the Sara incident, when Natasha, Tia and I were gone? We actually went out to get these rings commissioned by someone Tia knows. I’ve been holding on to these for the past few days while trying to find the right moment to ask you…” Cheza explains.
“Well thank you Cheza; these may just save my life!” I tell her. “Now let’s go inside and get some sleep.”
…
Cheza and I wake up at 10am the next morning to find that Natasha is gone, as is her luggage. I spot a folded piece of paper standing upright on the dresser.
Hey guys, my grandparents actually live close by so I’m going to visit them for a few days. I’ll be there for three days at most so I’ll be back before we are scheduled to fly home. -Natasha
“Well, at least she left a note and we know she’s okay. Let’s just get some breakfast, wander around town looking for Jason’s next clue, and then we can go to this spot Tia told us to go to. Sound good?” I break things down.
“Sounds perfect; I’m starving!” Cheza says.
We take a shower together and get dressed in warm, but comfortable clothing that includes our armored jackets. Two sword hilts would be too conspicuous here so I only take the pouch as we head to the café for breakfast. After a light breakfast, we head out and walk around town.
Ilulissat is very similar to a couple of Puget Sound port towns that I’ve been to (or any other port town for that matter) except there weren’t pastel colored buildings and sled dog crossing signs everywhere in Washington. I can understand why they have all the buildings painted colorfully, the rest of this place is pretty colorless, but it just looks sort of tacky.
We walk around for a few hours and I’m pretty sure we’ve seen the majority of the town now with no hints whatsoever. I can hear the various bells of boats, buoys, and churches, as the smell of the ocean wafts off from the harbor. There is a smokestack near the harbor that I assume belongs to a fishery. Considering that we haven’t been there yet, we start heading that way.
“Hey, Cole? Do they have cougars here?” Cheza asks me when the harbor is in sight.
“No, I don’t think mountain lions are in Greenland.” I reply while trying to identify the large, concrete, cylindrical structures that are on a steep cape near the entrance to the harbor, which appear to be a couple of miles outside of town.
“So it would be bizarre for that shop to be selling cougar traps?” she asks while pointing to a shop sign that reads “NOW SELLING COUGAR TRAPS!”
“Cheza, I think you just found our clue.” I say, grab her hand, and walk across the road to the supply store, checking both ways for throngs of sled dogs first; those yipping modes of transportation can really sneak up on you!
We walk into the small supply store and act like we are browsing. An employee walks up and says something in Danish.
“Can I help you?” the employee asks when she realizes that we don’t speak Danish.
“Yes, I’m looking for a cougar trap.” I tell her and her eyes narrow. I’m not fond of that look so I reach underneath the back of my jacket and wrap my right hand around the hilt of my Sic dagger as a precaution.
“I would love to show you, but the key to the case has been missing.” She says in a manner that makes it completely obvious that she is speaking in code.
“Do you mean this key?” I ask as I take out my wallet and remove the key that has been sitting in it for over a week. The employee doesn’t respond and instead she goes into the back and comes out with a can of shaving cream.
“Thank you.” I reply and walk out with Cheza in tow. We head back to the hotel room in silence.
“So what’s with the can of shaving cream? Is it some sort of clue that only you would understand?” Cheza asks.
“Possibly…” I say as I wedge my fingernails in the metal lip at the bottom of the can and pull.
“There was this comedian, Eugene Mirman, who had a can of shaving cream that was also a stash box.” I say as the bottom pops off. I pull out a slip of paper and a golden, palm-sized, coin that has an interesting slanted H on it.
CT, Be careful, everything isn’t as it seems in Ilulissat. Port to this location on June 11th and don’t bring your fiancée: 37.8188N, 122.4784W –J
Chapter 32: Scotty Doesn’t Know
“Alright, well we should go to the place Tia told me to take you to. Make sure to bring the Synergistic Blade.” I tell her as I shrug off my jacket and strap on the rest of my holster as a precaution.
After putting my jacket back on over my holster, I take out my phone, enter the coordinates from the GPS, and find a suitable ‘landing zone’ on Disko Island using the satellite maps. Cheza comes back with a sheath hanging from the left side of her belt.
“Oh, and put your hood on just in case.” I tell her.
Cheza hangs on to me as I touch my triskele and port us to a location that is a mile away from the coordinates on the GPS. We arrive in a snow and ice covered slope on Disko Island. We start the mile long hike up the slope and through the snow to the spot on the GPS.
“This is actually kind of nice. I mean, this hill isn’t, but it is quiet and we are here alone…” Cheza says after about thirty minutes.
“Cheza, I’m not going to have sex with you in the snow!” I joke.
(His front lawn, in the snow. Laughing so hard ‘cause Scotty doesn’t know! Scotty doesn’t know!) 17
Cheza and I both start laughing as I spot some kind of ice structure in front of us. The structure sits in a natural bowl on three sides; I wonder why neither showed up on the maps. I stop laughing when an arrow sticks into my left thigh.
“HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING AFTER LAST NIGHT!?” I scream as my helmet engages.
A second arrow flies into my right thigh as Cheza draws the Synergistic blades. With the helmet engaged, I can clearly see the archers as one of them lets an arrow fly at Cheza. I knock her to the ground while I pull my gun and fire two rounds before using my gun to bat the arrow away from me. I notice that the archer’s auras are unusual: white outlines, but their centers all have an icy white to them with various shades of blue.
(Incoming: 2, 10, and 11)
I do a sideways flip to my left while firing a total of six rounds as the arrows pass underneath my head. The three archers hit the snow in sprays of red as I land; I have the JHP rounds loaded so I’ve blown rather large chunks out of them. I wrap my hands around the carbon fiber shafts and rip the arrows out of my thighs as ten more enemies come out of the ice structure, each with a single-edged curved blade. Unlike the archers, these ones are wearing body armor and helmets.
(Obliterate)
I whip out the Obliterator as all ten come at me. I spin forward to build centrifugal force, adding extra momentum into my swing, and I let the Obliterator fly at neck level.
“COLE!” I hear a voice shout. I look past the ten soldiers and see Natasha coming from the ice structure.
“Natasha?” I ask incredulously, thoroughly confused as I twist the hilt of the Obliterator so that my swing flies harmlessly over the soldiers heads. “What are you doing here?”
“What the hell are you two doing here!? Didn’t you see my note?” she angrily asks.
“Yeah, you said you were going to visit your grandparents, so why are you he—oh.” I reply as the realization suddenly dawns on me.
“Wait, so why are you two here? And why didn’t the checkpoint at the bottom of the slope report anything?” Natasha asks.
“Tia told us to come here; she said it would help Cheza with her control. As for the bottom checkpoint, they probably didn’t report anything because I ported us about a mile from here.” I answer.
“And Tia doesn’t know you can port so there’s no way she would have known that this could even happen…well, come inside; my grandfather undoubtedly wants to speak with you.” Natasha says.
“Princess! They just killed four of our people!” One of the soldiers protests.
“If you assclowns don’t hurry up, they will be dead. Get going and bring them to Pinga!” Natasha shouts and then storms inside before I have the chance to ask the obvious question. If I remember correctly, Pinga is a goddess of medicine in Inuit mythology.
I help Cheza up before we follow Natasha into the structure that I now recognize as an igloo. Inside the igloo is a tunnel that is about 10’x10’ and leads down at a ten degree angle. I see Natasha about one hundred feet down the tunnel stopped in front of a reinforced steel wall and door that look as though they belong on a battleship (and is roughly 18 feet underground if my estimate is correct).
“OPEN THE DOOR DAMNIT!” Natasha screams and the door opens.
We follow her through the door where two burly men are standing guard…is it just me or were their ears kind of pointy? We walk into a circular atrium that has eight separate passage ways and is made entirely of ice. Cheza and I follow Natasha through the third passage way on the right and I notice that most of the people that we pass also have pointy-ish ears. I also notice that everyone is either glaring angrily at me or warily staring; something tells me that they don’t get many visitors.
“Sooo…princess?” I ask when we catch up to Natasha.
“COLE! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THAT UNFAMILIAR TONE WITH ME WHEN YOU WERE BALLS DEEP IN MY ASS YESTERDAY!” Natasha screams at me, causing roughly thirty people to turn and look at us.
“Yes mistress!” I yelp in response. Natasha gets this kind of satisfied smile when she looks around and then she keeps walking.
“Care to explain what that was about?” I ask quietly.
“I’m not really a princess; my grandfather is simply the chief and has ordered everyone to call me that because he knows I hate it. So in response, I try my hardest to act like the opposite of a princess.” Natasha explains.
“Oh, so that’s why you were screaming about anal sexploits in the middle of a crowded hall.” I say.
Mania and the Executioner Page 25
