Intoxicated

by Alicia Renee Kline

  “Planning your escape?”

  “It’s just getting stuffy in here. Borderline claustrophobic.”

  He grunted, surveying the room. It was obvious I wasn’t telling the truth. For a half bath, it was spacious. Swanky even. Like the rest of the home, high end fixtures and decorations abounded. I swallowed hard and placed my hand on the granite countertop for support.

  “You’re not a good liar, Lauren. Admit it. You’re afraid of me. Afraid that this time I’m so pissed at you that I’m going to go off the deep end.”

  I shook my head even as the bile rose in my throat. I felt the color drain from my cheeks. He crossed the room quickly, closing the distance between us in a few short steps. He had me cornered and he knew it. He pushed the door closed again, placing his hands against it on either side of my head. At least this time it wasn’t locked.

  “Look at me,” he demanded.

  Hesitantly, I shifted my gaze to his intense green eyes.

  “After all this time, you still don’t trust me. You’re shaking like a leaf. Do you really think I would lay a hand on you? I would never hurt you.”

  I winced. “Not physically, at least.”

  A look of utter torture flashed over his features, but it was gone before I could make sense of it. He removed one hand from the door and brought it to my face. His thumb rubbed my cheek gently. I allowed myself to breathe again, but my body wouldn’t relax.

  “I thought you wanted to see me,” he said quietly.

  “I did. I mean, I do.”

  It was his turn to shake his head. “I wish that were true. And maybe in some little corner of your mind, you really believe that. But the truth is that you invited me into hostile territory. You wanted to take your little stab at me out of revenge. You wanted to show me how wonderful your new life is, and just how fine you are without me. You wanted to twist the knife and show me that I don’t fit anymore.”

  “That’s not true, Eric.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Eric, I love you. And we talked about this, how we would make it work. I thought maybe things would be easier if you could just understand where I’m coming from. If you knew that I was safe and happy here.”

  “I see the way he looks at you, Lauren. And more often than not, you return the favor. You don’t think I notice that? I called it before I even met him.”

  “I’ve told you that nothing has happened between us and nothing ever will. I love you.”

  “Keep telling yourself that. If you really, truly, loved me you would have moved in with me. Actions speak louder than words.”

  “And sometimes I really need to hear those words. I can’t remember you ever saying them.”

  “Lauren,”

  We were interrupted by a knock at the door.

  “Lauren, is everything okay in there?” Gracie asked. The fact that she addressed only me was not lost on Eric. She couldn’t care less about him.

  “Yeah,” I answered shakily, “we’ll be out in a minute.”

  Eric traced the line of my jaw with his thumb. Clearly, he wasn’t about to continue his thought. Just when we had been about to make a possible breakthrough, Gracie had come to check on me. Could you be annoyed and thankful all at once? If so, I was there.

  “Just remember,” Eric whispered, “you are mine.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  When I opened the bathroom door, I half expected to knock over Gracie. I wouldn’t put it past her to eavesdrop, though with the intensity of our conversation everyone in the house could probably hear what had been said. However, the hallway was empty. Eric trailed behind me as I made my way to find my guests and attempt to salvage the rest of the holiday.

  Nothing had been settled between us. If anything, I had made things worse by trying to convince him to be sociable. He had held firm to the opinion that something was happening between Matthew and me, and that something was not innocent. Maybe not to the level of cheating but dangerously close. Even though I had adamantly denied the accusations, upon second glance our actions did seem suspect. Coupled with the conversations I had recently with Blake, I began to see Eric’s point.

  Still, Matthew and I hadn’t done anything wrong. Sure, we had hugged. Yes, he had comforted me when I was upset. True, I had fallen asleep in his arms and he had carried me up to bed. None of those things constituted cheating. They might be bad judgment calls considering the circumstances, but they weren’t inherently bad. He would do the same thing for Blake.

  Eric had trust issues. For years I had trusted him when he was miles away. There was just as much, if not more, opportunity for him to cheat on me. The thought had crossed my mind several times, though I had no grounds to think it had actually happened. While I gave him the benefit of the doubt, he accused me the moment I moved away. Was it his guilty conscience?

  “Please,” I whispered, “try to be nice this time. For me?”

  He said nothing.

  I attempted to sneak into the living room unnoticed. If I could just blend in with the background, maybe it would be as though we had never left. That was easier said than done. Like he had become attuned to my presence, Matthew looked my way just as I entered. Our eyes met for a brief second; he was trying to convey some sort of message, but I couldn’t comprehend. He turned back to my dad. They looked deep in conversation. At least something good had come out of this.

  Blake and Gracie had retreated to the kitchen to clean up after everyone. In essence, we were effectively paired off, though my partner wasn’t exactly appealing at the moment. I considered excusing myself to help the girls. However, that would leave Eric alone with my dad and Matthew, and that didn’t seem like the right thing to do, either.

  I stood with my back against the wall, feeling conflicted. I didn’t belong anywhere in this picture. Ironic, considering that I was the one who had insisted on bringing it all together. As I watched Eric pull his cell out of his pocket, I rethought that sentiment. I had paired myself with the one who didn’t belong, branding myself an outcast in the process.

  He was connected to that phone like it was his lifeline, but he couldn’t pick it up and call me when it was appropriate. He couldn’t reach out to me just to say hi, or tell me he loved me. But he could pull it out during holiday dinner and check his voice mail.

  “Put it away,” I breathed. I felt like I was scolding a child.

  “It’s getting late,” he began.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. Here it came, his excuse to leave.

  “I have a plane to catch first thing in the morning.”

  “What?” My response was shrill, louder than I’d intended.

  “It’s a two hour drive back home, Lauren. I have to be at the airport at six in the morning.”

  “Who schedules a business trip for the day after Thanksgiving? And when were you going to tell me?”

  He looked at me guiltily.

  “It’s not business, is it?”

  He stared at his feet.

  “The guys and I are going to Vegas. We work hard, Lauren. We deserve to relax every now and again.”

  “And I deserve to see you every now and again. Did you think about inviting me? Did you think about telling the guys no? Did you think about just spending the night with me? Going back to my place and acting like you cared about me? Do you ever think about me?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Blake and Gracie come in from the kitchen. My dad and Matthew had stopped talking. All eyes were on us. So we were going to have our knock down drag out fight right here in the middle of everything. All of those emotions had tumbled out of the bathroom and followed us down the hall. It was nothing new to fight with him in front of Gracie, even my dad, but Blake and Matthew had never been exposed to our volatile relationship first hand. The desire to keep it under wraps had left with my increasing anger.

  “You have to work tomorrow.”

  “That is the most feeble excuse you’ve come up with in a while. I could have taken a vacation day.”r />
  “Could you? Or would the entire bank fail without you being there for one day? Don’t lie, Lauren, you are just as cutthroat as I am when it comes to your career. You won’t back down. If you really cared about me, if you loved me as much as you say you do, you would have told them to keep their promotion. You knew how I felt about it, but you didn’t care.”

  “I knew that you were concerned about getting outclassed by a woman.”

  I paused, letting my words sink in. Eric continued to stare at the floor.

  “If you ever listened to me, you would know how much that promotion meant to me. You would have known that it was always in the works. It was always my goal. But you never listen to me. You can’t even look at me. Am I that unattractive to you? You can’t even tell me that you love me, and you expect me to follow you to the ends of the earth and depend on you for everything.”

  “Lauren,” he pleaded, finally looking up and realizing that we were the center of attention, “let’s finish this at home.”

  Clearly, home to him did not mean Blake’s place.

  “No.” I folded my arms across my chest, feeling like a petulant teenager. If I wasn’t so upset, I’d be embarrassed by my behavior. “Fort Wayne is my home now, and you need to accept it.”

  “You are so quick to forget where you came from. Of who you left behind.”

  “You left me behind a long time ago, Eric. I have tried ever since college to keep this going, and you don’t help me at all. If it were up to you, you would have kicked me to the curb a long time ago. I am the only one who actually tries at this. You just buy me shit. I’m never going to be happy being your whore.”

  “And you trying involves playing house with the first fucking loser you come across?”

  His words hung in the air. I winced, unable to make a sound, unable to breathe. Eric grabbed for my arm, his fingers encircling my wrist. I wasn’t sure of his intentions, but his eyes were dark and his grip firm. I tried to yank free, but his hold tightened to the point of hurting. A small whimper escaped my lips. Terrified, I clenched my eyes shut.

  “Let her go.” Matthew’s voice was low, but his tone firm. From the sound of it, he was also standing very near us. I wondered how he had crossed the room so quickly. Even though time had seemed to stand still, I was certain that mere seconds had elapsed since the most damaging outburst.

  “My relationship with Lauren doesn’t concern you.”

  Eric had regained his composure, and he released me. I opened my eyes as my arm fell back to my side. I staggered backwards slightly, and Matthew took the opportunity to move between us. Gracie pulled me back further, wrapping her arm around me.

  “You okay?” she whispered. I nodded. Eric hadn’t grabbed me hard enough to leave a mark. I shuddered to think what would have happened if things had been allowed to escalate.

  “I beg to differ,” Matthew said, unaffected by Eric’s statement. “Your relationship with Lauren became my concern the night I cleaned up your fucking mess.”

  Oh, shit. I had been too quick to assume that things would end peacefully. I knew what was coming next, at least generally, and it wouldn’t make Eric’s suspicions of me cheating on him lessen. I looked behind me to catch Blake’s eye. She stood rigid, the only other one in the room who knew the whole story.

  “You didn’t see her the night that you ditched her. You didn’t see how broken you left her. You weren’t there with her when she cried herself to sleep. I was. Who’s the fucking loser now?”

  Eric made a move towards Matthew, as if he were going to strike. Even though they looked each other eye to eye, it wouldn’t be a fair fight by any means. An ex-football star who would have had a college scholarship if things had gone differently against a scrawny insurance salesman. There was no question who would be the victor.

  Matthew smirked, knowing he had the upper hand on more than one count. “I wouldn’t.”

  My dad had finally had enough. He placed his hand on Eric’s shoulder, practically dragging him away from Matthew. Thankfully, Eric had enough respect for him to not fight him off. Blake swooped in and pulled Matthew back, shooting him a disapproving glare.

  “You want to change your story now?” Eric spat at me. “Now that the truth is out?”

  “Nothing happened. I promise. He only stayed until Blake came home. He didn’t spend the whole night.”

  “Just part of it, then? Because that makes it so much better.” He shook his head. “You don’t need much time to cheat on your boyfriend. Don’t lie, Lauren. He saw you upset and took advantage of you. Just tell me the truth. Is he better than me?”

  “Nothing happened!” I repeated.

  “Whatever. I’m done here. Call me when you’re capable of being honest.”

  With that, he spun on his heel and showed himself out. He announced his departure with the slamming of the front door. We all stood frozen for a few moments, trying to digest what had just taken place. Ever the perennial hostess, I felt it my duty to break the ice.

  “So, I guess he won’t be joining us on the final leg of the Snyder family home tour.”

  “My God, Lauren, are you okay?” Matthew asked, striding over to my side.

  “I’m fine,” I said and meant it.

  He lifted the wrist that Eric had grabbed, turning it over in his hand to inspect it himself. As usual, his touch inflicted quite a bit of electricity and I jerked away slightly. He mistook this gesture for pain.

  “Really. I’m fine,” I said firmly, looking squarely into his concerned eyes.

  He let go of my wrist and it fell back gently to my side.

  “Look, if you’re not up to it, we can drop by your place another time,” my dad offered.

  I shook my head. “No, the two of you are up here now and there’s no time like the present. It looks like the kitchen’s all cleaned up, so let’s head out. I know Gracie has to work tomorrow, and it’s a long drive home for you guys.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Gracie enthused. “I kind of like our party of five better anyway.”

  “Lauren, why don’t you ride back with your dad?” Blake suggested. “I need to have a discussion with my brother.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine,” I agreed. I wouldn’t want to be a fly in that car.

  Apparently, neither did Matthew. “I’ll just drive over myself. That way, you don’t have to bring me back. I’ll take my tongue lashing later, thanks.”

  “Suit yourself,” Blake said.

  “I’m really sorry,” I said, turning to him, “I should have warned you about what he thought was going on. You fed into it without even knowing.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Let him think what he wants. Something tells me he would anyway.”

  “And don’t think you’re off the hook, missy,” Blake continued, pointing at me. “Your dad doesn’t have to scold you. I will.” The look in her eye suggested her amusement, so I wasn’t too concerned.

  “Gracie,” Matthew began, “want to ride with me? I’ve got a Mustang. I have it on good authority that it’s a pretty awesome car.”

  “Sure, why not?”

  My friend shot me a quizzical look over her shoulder as she followed Matthew out to the garage. I shrugged. I had absolutely no clue why he would invite her on a ride. They had seemed pleasant enough at dinner, but I didn’t think I had seen any interest on his part. He had to have something up his sleeve. I noted with more than a little pride that he didn’t offer to let her drive. Maybe there was something to Blake’s theory.

  I sighed with relief as I climbed into the passenger seat of Dad’s Buick. A giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders just by having that part of the day over. It had gone reasonably well, all things considered. If reasonably well equated to no bloodshed.

  “Tough day, huh?” Dad smiled as he started up the car.

  “I’ve had better. Trust me.”

  I gave him general directions to Blake’s as we headed down the driveway. Matthew had taken the lead, Blake behind him
and us bringing up the rear. I doubted that we would get separated; traffic seemed fairly light. Still, I hated driving aimlessly and feeling as though I had no idea where I was going. I did it more for my sake than his.

  “You know, Eric’s had a difficult time with this promotion.”

  “I know, Dad. And I get that, really I do. I guess he never really considered what would happen when I reached my goal. Our whole relationship has pretty much been focused on him getting what he wants. When it was my turn, he didn’t know what to do.”

  “He does have a pretty crappy way of dealing with it, though.”

  “And I could have been more tactful in my approach, too. I mean, I tried. I took him into the bathroom to have a private discussion and got nowhere. Gracie interrupted because she was concerned. I guess he wasn’t done having his say. And I wasn’t about to sit back and just take it.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that assertive in front of him.”

  I smiled as I looked out the window. Our caravan zoomed past beautiful fall foliage; one of my favorite things about this portion of the city.

  “Put me in front of an audience and I get a little feisty. Especially when he brought Matthew into it.”

  “Matthew seems to be a decent guy. He was beside himself during the whole thing, like he wanted to rescue you. I told him to stay out of it, to let you fight your own battles. But when Eric grabbed you, he couldn’t get over there fast enough.”

  “Eric didn’t hurt me. I think I hurt myself more trying to get away. I’m sure it looked worse than it was. But he was mad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that upset before.”

  “Jealousy does that to a guy. Whether warranted or not.”