Taking Risks

by Cassie Allee

  “What’s up, Gray?” I said and smiled groggily.

  Gray sneered at me. “What’s up?” He hissed. “What happened to you? You’ve been out cold for an entire day! You missed school!”

  What. The. Fuck. I’d been asleep for an entire twenty-four hours?

  “How did I get inside? What happened?” I hoped I hadn’t scared Mom.

  “Risk carried you inside and he looked panicked. He was half naked and you were barely covered, but we managed to get some clothes on you. You were limp as a noodle, but your breathing was okay so he decided not to wake your mom. Risk was here for a little while, but he was acting funny. He told me to take care of you and then he took off. Your mom was already planning on letting you skip school today, but she’s been up here a few times trying to wake you up. Once you even yelled at her to go away. I think she just assumes you were up all night, but I know better Mar.”

  He looked at me disapprovingly. “This thing with the dirty Joey kid…it’s wearing you down, isn’t it?”

  “Gray, seriously, I just had a major nap and you’re kind of overloading my senses here.” I grabbed my head as it started to spin and fell back on my pillow.

  Gray sighed. “Go back to sleep Spud, but we’re going to get to the bottom of this after school tomorrow. You’re not going to work tonight. Remi and Jane will understand.

  I groggily nodded at him and started to drift away to dream land. Somewhere between my sleeping and waking I saw Gray lean down to kiss me on the forehead and I smiled at the comforting feeling of the contact, but Gray seemed to jump and that was all I remember before I was plunged into the nightmares that I thought I had escaped.

  Little Dirty Boy, Joey, was tearing my room apart in a fit of anger. I saw him through heavy lidded eyes as he threw papers and drawers at the walls and I was unable to speak or move. My books were torn to pieces and my computer was busted. All of my clothes had been ripped to shreds and there were shards of wood that had once been my dresser and computer desk, everywhere. Joey looked over at me with his crimson eyes and started stalking over towards me. I frantically looked around for Gray, but he was nowhere to be found. Joey was only inches from my face, almost touching his nose to mine, and said, “I know you went to see him. You should’ve kept your nose out of my business, but I’m glad that you now know what hell I can bring to your life.” He smiled a very unsettling smile and then let loose a powerful wail that made me think that my ears had to be bleeding.

  I woke up from my dream gasping for air and Gray was hovering over me and screaming my name.

  “I’m fine, it was just another nightmare.” I said trying to reassure him, though I was still trying to catch my breath.

  Gray nodded and asked me what I had dreamt about, so I explained in detail because I knew that I wouldn’t get away with leaving anything out. After I was done with my story Gray glanced at the clock.

  “I don’t think you need to miss another day of school, and you should probably go to work tonight too, if you’re up to it. Better get up and get ready.”

  I moaned at the thought of having to move from my warm bed and I knew I looked exhausted. I went to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. After lying in bed for two days I smelled like a homeless person. After I combed through my brassy blonde waves I applied a little makeup and put on some red skinny jeans with a black shirt and flats.

  When I was dressed for school I went downstairs to talk to Mom. I had slept through and entire day and hadn’t had the chance to talk to her and make sure that she was alright after all that had happened. When I got to the kitchen I saw that she was not the scared woman that I had put to bed with a baseball bat. She was her usual self; dressed in business attire and humming to herself while making pancakes.

  I didn’t want to startle her so I shuffled my feet and cleared my throat to make myself known. She turned around and came to wrap her arms around me. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” She asked lovingly. I nodded and yawned in response, hoping that she wouldn’t ask me twenty questions.

  “Are you okay, Mom?” I couldn’t believe that she was acting so casual.

  “I’m fine honey. Nothing too serious happened before you and Risk came in, and I will not allow myself to be scared of the world. I was a bit shaken up at first, but I promise you that I’m fine. I’m more concerned about you. What happened was an accident and you did a marvelous job of protecting me. I really am proud of your bravery.” She pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “But Mark is dead. It’s not something that you should be ashamed of and don’t you dare beat yourself up about it. That’s an awfully heavy weight to carry on such young shoulders.”

  Mom was looking me in the eyes with such love and concern, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be upset about killing him, but I wasn’t at all. I had a hard time believing that would be the last I would be seeing of Mark. I smiled gently at her and assured her that I knew that it was self-defense and that I was fine. She only nodded with a look of motherly sympathy before turning back to her pancakes and telling me that she had to go to work again that afternoon.

  After breakfast I grabbed a clean work uniform and stuffed it in my bag. I kissed Mom and hurried out of the door to get to school. As I sped through the small town streets trying to avoid the morning traffic I listened to Gray hum a song that I’m sure was from the eighties. I took a real quick look around the town at the shops and was so surprised by what I saw that I nearly crashed into another car. I was used to seeing random Lost Ones running about in the town, even the angry ones, but they generally stayed in groups and in secluded areas. That morning, however, they were crowding the streets! They were sitting next to people on park benches and walking in and out of the shops and through the cars on the streets. I slowed the Delray down to get a better look, that’s when Gray noticed all of them and his emerald eyes went wide.

  “Wow…that’s a lot of Lost.”

  I had kept my word and not gone back to the old town square since Gray had asked me not to, but mostly, I just got too caught up with Risk to be curious enough to go. I also had a ton of drama in my life with Risks family and I was trying to keep up on my sleep so that I wouldn’t keel over. I had to wonder what was making them stray from the square. As far as I could tell they were mostly just lost souls and not many of the angry ones were around. I figured they were all just swarming the woods behind my house.

  Gray watched out of the car window as we passed through the town on our way to school, and I was growing more nervous by the second. There were so many Lost Ones roaming about and I couldn’t believe that they were all, at one time, probably a stone’s throw from where I slept at night. We pulled into the school parking lot and I was just about to get out of my car when Gray sighed dramatically.

  “I have something that I need to tell you about, especially since all the weirdness in town today…”

  “Okay…?” I knew it wasn’t going to be good news.

  “Last night when you were falling asleep I kissed your forehead, only expecting it to be a gesture, but it was real…” His voice trailed off.

  “I’m not following you, Gray.”

  “I felt you. It was like an electric shock! It was amazing! I haven’t been able to feel anything since…forever, but now I can feel warmth from Risk and…something from you!

  “Holy shit…I remember that!” I hadn’t thought anything about it at the time. I thought maybe it had been a dream, but it definitely didn’t register with me that it was something so epic. “Oh man Gray, I could feel you too.”

  We sat in silence as we stared at one another in shock. I didn’t even want to think about why we could suddenly feel each other after all these years, but I knew that it probably had something to do with all of this Joey business, or maybe it was just that my gift was growing. After all, when I was younger, all I could see were colors and now those colors were people. It could also be a very, very bad thing too, because it meant that the angry ghosts could maybe hurt me if they got pi
ssed enough. With the amount of them that had been running around lately, that was a scary thought to have.

  I shook it off and decided that I didn’t want to be late to school after having already missing the day before so I wasn’t going to dwell on the subject too much until I after I had a chance to process the information. I jumped out of the car and sprinted through the front doors of the school and towards my locker. As soon as I got my combination in and opened it up, a neatly folded piece of paper fell out by my feet. I leaned down to scoop it up and unfold it. It was a note from Risk.

  I really don’t know how to say this to you, but I just can’t be around you right now. I don’t know how to feel about the fact that you’re the reason that my dad is dead and my mom is in jail. I’m on my own now, and even though I know that you’re not actually responsible for what has happened to them, it’s because we were together that I lost them. I bring danger to you and you bring heartache to me and I think that the universe it telling us that we’re a bad idea. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I know that it’s going to happen one way or the other. I’m truly sorry. I hope you have a happy life Marlee. I love you.

  Risk

  My heart sank as I read those words. Risk had just broken up with me and he had done so with a folded up, high school regulation note that he couldn’t even be sure that I had found. I remembered the last time I’d ever spoken to him while we were in my car, making love. He needed me so much and I gave into him even though I knew that letting him use me as a distraction was a bad idea, and it had back fired. I couldn’t stop the tears that were barreling down my cheeks so I ran to the nearest ladies room. I couldn’t stop myself from hating that the whole thing was a total high school cliché.

  When I got to a stall I sank to my knees and let the tears fall freely. Gray put his arm around me and I flinched at the new tingling sensation that accompanied his touch, but it was the most comforting thing that I could’ve been offered at the moment. I had given myself completely to Risk and he had tossed me in the trash. When I got my sobs under control I threw my back pack over my shoulder, cleaned up the mascara residue from under my eyes and ran out of the school. If I didn’t have Risk to distract me than I would handle the things that I had been neglecting to keep myself from thinking of him.

  I pulled into my driveway hoping that my mom had left for the airport already and wouldn’t question me about missing another day of school, or give me that disapproving look that I was all too familiar with, when I told her that my prom date had flown the coop. Fuck! Prom is this weekend! My inner self was slapping me in the face. It looked like I would be going dateless after all. Mom was going to be so enthused.

  I walked into the house and yelled a big hello, but got no answer back. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with her. I kicked my flats off, put on some rain boots, and walked back out of the door to head for the old town square.

  “What the fuck are you doing Marlee, you can’t go there! Things have gotten worse!” Gray pleaded, but every time he stood in my way to block my passage I just walked right through him.

  “I have to do something about this. I’ve let this shit get way too out of hand. It’s literally in my back yard and I’ve been so wrapped up in Risk that I wouldn’t acknowledge it or what it’s doing to me.”

  Gray huffed and puffed the entire walk to the square until we crouched behind some nearby bushes to check the place out. There had to have been over a hundred red eyes and they were all wailing or crying or stomping around pissed off. They didn’t speak to one another and didn’t act as if they knew that there was anyone around but themselves. I looked at Gray with my eyes wide as they would go and he mouthed the words “I told you so” before turning his head back to the commotion.

  I sat in the bushes and searched for our little dirty boy, Joey. After a while of crouching and searching through the crowd, my legs started to cramp and we concluded that he wasn’t there. He had to be the one assembling all of the Lost Ones, and he was more than likely the reason why there were so many in town too, but I couldn’t figure out why. I needed to talk to Joey to figure out what the hell had gotten his panties in a bunch. After taking a last look at the poor angry souls, we left the bushes and made the short walk back home.

  Rather than going inside and wallowing in my sorrow I decided that we needed to go back to the old folks home and see if we could try and talk to Dale Harper again. I would hate to upset him again, but he was our only chance to find where Joey may be hanging around so that we could find him and try and figure out what his master plan was.

  Even though I was avoiding the house and trying to stay busy I realized during the car ride that it wasn’t going to be possible to keep my mind away from Risk. It didn’t take long for my mind to drift to memories of us and how happy he made me just a few short days ago. My first clue to his doubt should’ve been when I had last seen him. I passed out and was obviously more than just tired, but he left me alone, hoping that Gray was watching over me without so much as a text to let me know what was going on. He knew that Joey had been zapping my energy, and he knew what could be the end result, but he didn’t stick around to see if I would be okay. That thought made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. He left me a note at school to break things off with me, not even knowing that I was ever going to be able to make it there and read it.

  After getting lost in my thoughts I started sobbing pretty heavily and Gray insisted that I pull the car over and take a breather. He stroked my hair and said calming things to me until I could finally see the road out of my red puffy eyes again. I couldn’t wait to get to the institution and get lost in something else for a while, even if it was just a temporary fix.

  QUESTIONS UNANSWERED

  As soon as we got through the front doors of the institution, the nurse that had kicked me out the last time I visited had spotted me. I tried to hide my face when I saw her, but it was too late. She had a look of determination and she was stalking towards me, so I stood my ground and prepared myself to be a smartass. I needed to see Dale and I couldn’t let anyone stand in my way.

  “You need to leave. Dale has a bad heart and he doesn’t need anyone coming around here and stirring up bad memories for him. He’s a good man and he deserves better…”

  The bitchy nurse was cut off by a man’s voice coming from behind her.

  “Excuse me, I know that young woman. Please see that she makes it to my room, and I will be there momentarily.” Dale flashed her a coy smile and slowly angled his walker to go in the opposite direction. After taking a step or two he looked back over his shoulder and told the nurse, “And she absolutely does not bring up bad memories. She’s the only person in this whole miserable world that will allow me to talk about my family. That makes her special to me and she will be allowed to see me anytime she wants, no matter what the circumstances. She’s family.”

  He commanded so much authority, even in his frail condition, that I wished I could have seen him in his prime. He had the nurse stuttering over herself with only the few sentences that he spoke. She nodded and said, “Yes sir.” And then sheepishly saw me to his room where I was to wait for him. I was only in there a few minutes before Dale came in. His smile was broad and he looked to have more fire behind his eyes than he had the last time I visited. He took a seat next to me on the bed and we started to make small talk.

  After about ten minutes Dale seemed to get bored with discussing sports (which I knew nothing about) and spoke his mind.

  “I’m guessing that you didn’t come here in the middle of a school day to chit chat with an old man, so why don’t you spill the beans dear.”

  I cocked my eyebrows at him and said, “I’m not sure if you’re prepared for what I’m going to tell you.”

  Dale laughed hard, which surprised me, and said, “One thing you can be sure about when you come across an old fart, like me, is that we’re survivors. How do you think we’ve made it through this awful world for so long? I’ve survived the worst trage
dies a person can have in life, Miss Chase. I can handle whatever it is that you have to say to me.”

  He then smiled curiously at me and I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

  “Mr. Harper, I’m a person who has a certain special gift. I can see and talk to souls that have passed from this world, but haven’t gone on to the next. I’ve been coming here to get information from you about your son, Joey. My…friend and I came across Joey’s spirit a few weeks ago and we’ve been trying to help him since. We took him back to your old house, which has since been burnt down, to try and reconnect him to memories that he had lost but something happened. He got close to the pond and had a flashback of his life. He also remembered how he died and he remembered that he stuck around only to see what would become of you and your wife. He’s stuck here because he blames himself for his mother’s death and your…situation. He’s become a furious soul that wants vengeance on the world because his life seemed so unfair. He’s up to something, but I can’t find him to talk to him about it, and every time I do find him he disappears before I can ask him much and I have to go find him all over again. I would like you to tell me where you think he might be hiding.”

  When I was done with my confession I looked up at Dale, and to my surprise, he looked completely at ease, as if he believed me. His brow was furrowed with worry, but he didn’t look as though he wanted to argue with me about my gift, which was the usual reaction that I got when I was forced into telling people.

  After a few minutes of thought, Dale cleared his throat and said, “He’ll be where his mother’s body was buried, I suppose. Joey died a child, and children don’t yet understand that a person’s body and their soul are two completely different things.” And that was all he had to say. I waited for a few minutes to see if he would like to talk about things further, but he had looked away from me and was staying silent so I got up to leave. When I stood Dale took my hand.