Taking Risks

by Cassie Allee

  “I thought that he’d been hanging around. A parent always know their child’s scent, and at times I could smell him. My chair would also rock a little on its own from time to time. I don’t think you’re crazy dear, but I’m going to have to ask you to help my boy. He would have been older than you if he’d lived… Do what you can do and you come and see me anytime you need any help. You know where to find me.”

  I nodded at Dale while giving him a reassuring smile and left the room praying that I could help him and his son find peace.

  Gray and I were quiet on the way home, but I could tell that something was itching at him. I’ve never been good at keeping my mouth shut so I asked him what was going on in his head. He waited a moment before telling me that he just had a few errands to run, but he didn’t want to leave me alone. I swore to him that I would be fine and that he could go. After all, people got their hearts broken every day. He kissed me on the forehead and then vanished, and I was all alone again.

  It was strange to me that Gray had been disappearing so much lately, mostly because we’ve spent almost every moment together since…forever, but I figured that he was doing something about Joey the he didn’t want me to get mixed up in so I didn’t question him. I’m sure that, even as a ghost, you would probably want some alone time every once in a while anyway.

  I drove the rest of the way home alone and trying to find songs that were angry or harsh and didn’t have anything to do with love. I would’ve loved to have come across some Drowning Pool and jammed out for hours, but all I had was an FM radio and the stations were only offering up music for love birds, so I switched the damn thing off and concentrated on the wind blowing through my hair. It was nearing the end of September and the air was cooler which helped to take my mind off of things. It was crisp and refreshing and I was feeling a bit free.

  When I got home I set to work on my computer to find the burial place of Roletta Harper, Joey’s mom. It didn’t take long to pull up an obituary and find the funeral home that held services for her. After a quick call to them, and a little more lying from me, they told me everything that I needed to know. I hopped back into the Delray and headed towards the cemetery where Roletta’s body had been buried. It was only about three miles away from my house on the other side of town.

  I rounded the corner to take the main street straight through town and was startled to find someone standing right in the middle of the road. I slammed on my breaks, but I was already too close and my car went straight through the person. They hadn’t even noticed what had happened and just kept standing there, staring at the ground. I realized then that it wasn’t a person, it was a spirit and they had nearly gave me a heart attack.

  I took a deep breath to try and calm myself before I took a good look around and saw that the amount of Lost Ones had nearly tripled in number around the small town. They were jam packed in all corners of the main stretch and it was hard to tell which of the people were alive and which weren’t. There were spirits from every decade and it looked as if they may be from all over the world. It was like some kind of crazy ComicCon gathering. They were obviously not all natives to Georgia, which meant that they were actually traveling to my shit hole town, and it made me nervous to ponder the reasons why that might be.

  I took another long deep breath and slammed my foot down on the gas pedal. I made record time to the cemetery and I wasn’t disappointed when I got there. I didn’t even have to go searching for Roletta’s grave stone because Joey was already there hovering over his dead mothers burial place, just as his dad said he would be. I got out of my car and tried to blend in with the back ground of the other mourners as much as possible so that he wouldn’t notice me. I zigzagged around some headstones and kept my eyes downcast. When I made it up behind Joey I whispered his name and he turned around.

  For just a second, his eyes weren’t the terrifying crimson color that I had come to despise, but they were the pretty chocolate brown color that touched a tender place in my heart. He looked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders and he looked down at his feet and said, “I thought…I thought you were…” Then his voice trailed off and he snapped his eyes back up to mine. When he looked back up at me they were full of anger and terror, the deepest red I had ever seen.

  “You…” He hissed.

  I’d been thinking on my walk over about what I could say to him to grab his attention and keep him there, so I quickly blurted out what I had come up with before he could vanish again.

  “Joey, your dad wants me to help you. He knows about you and he knows you’re in trouble. He loves you and wants you to be at peace. Please…”

  Joey wavered a bit, but his angry red eyes still remained locked onto mine. “What can you do for me? You’re the reason I’m like this. Without you and that lap dog ghost of yours I would’ve never remembered all the awful things that I’d done. This is all because of you.”

  He glared at me, but I kept my composure as I pushed him for answers. “What’s going on with all of the spirits around here? I’ve seen the angry ones behind my house where I found you and I’ve seen all of the Lost Ones around town. What’s bringing them here?”

  He smiled at me and my blood ran cold. “It’s you Marlee. Lost souls from all over the world are coming here because they’re drawn to the energy that’s escaping you. You’re more powerful than you know, and I’m in control of that power. I’m using it to block people from moving on and trapping them in purgatory. The longer they’re trapped here, the angrier they get, and the angrier they get the more energy I have to tap in to.”

  The more of his plan that I listened to the more pissed off I got. He was keeping everyone in the world from finding peace after death and condemning them to an eternity of loneliness, and he was using me to do it. Joey had no right to decide the fate people’s souls.

  Before I blew up on him and called him a brat and a few other choice words I remembered that I still had more questions for him so I gathered myself and contemplated the right question to ask to try and put the whole thing into perspective for me. “It seems to me that you’re looking for someone. Who is it?” I glanced down at the grave stone that he had been looming over when I arrived. I knew the answer to the question, but I wanted to hear him say the words. I thought that if he could admit that his plan wasn’t all evil and realize that he was just acting out, just as a child would, than I would more easily be able to make him understand that what he was doing was wrong. It didn’t seem to have that effect though. His face scrunched up and he let go a scream that left me on my knees and holding my ears. When I opened my eyes he was gone again, but at least I knew what I had to do in order to stop him, and hopefully I could get it done before it was too late for me.

  When I got back home it was already time for me to get ready for work, so I put on my tiny uniform and tried to cover up the evidence that I had been crying. I couldn’t help but think that it was all my fault for getting attached to a boy so fast and giving him my virtue. I had completely expected mine and Risks relationship to last more than a few weeks though. Things with him felt special, and I felt that it was meant to be, especially because of our unique abilities. Gray still wasn’t around so I took my time getting ready and paying a little extra attention to my hair and makeup so that I wouldn’t look like I was ready to nose dive onto my bed at work all night.

  I seriously made it about two steps into Rocktop before Remi was on my heels asking me questions.

  “What’s wrong with you? Is it Risk? Is it his crazy bitch mom? Do I need to kick some ass?”

  I was annoyed at first, but when I saw the concern in her eyes I laughed at her and I couldn’t help but think that maybe she wasn’t just a colleague after all. I gave her as many details of what had happened between Risk and I as I could handle without crying or giving away our secrets. Remi’s face went beat red, which looked worse than it actually was because of her platinum hair, and she started to curse up a storm before she threw her arms around me. />
  “I’m so sorry Mar, but listen…the first cut really is the deepest. It always hurts getting your heart broken, but it’s always worst the first time. Just keep yourself busy.” Then her face lightened, “You should go get shitfaced with us this weekend!”

  I didn’t mean to laugh right in her face, but I couldn’t help it. “Prom is this weekend and I promised my mom I would go. Besides, I’m only eighteen, remember?”

  I stood to leave the employees room to start my shift. She gave me one last hug and I returned it noticing that the awkwardness was gone and it made me smile to think that I actually had a real girlfriend. She let me go and I skipped out of the back room with a lighter heart.

  It was getting pretty busy in the bar and my stupid tights were making me sweat more than usual so I was in a pissy mood. I lightened up when I saw Gray sitting at the bar next to a tall blonde that was dressed to impress. She was obviously looking for someone to take her home and Gray looked like he would have been all too happy to be the one to do so. The familiar sight of Gray being ridiculous made me grin at him. He noticed me laughing and his emerald eyes started to dazzle. He gave me a sly half smirk accompanied with a wink. I could never get over how he had the total bad boy look to him with his honey colored hair that stuck up in every direction and his perfect jaw line with his bright eyes that contrasted with his olive skin tone. Gray was anything but a bad boy, though. He always took care of me and he was the best friend anyone could ask for, living or not.

  I got back to work serving customers with a genuine smile on my face. I wasn’t feeling too tired, but I knew I wasn’t looking as perky as usual either. If I couldn’t get to the bottom of what Joey was doing and stop it soon, than I was going to have to quit school and Rocktop just so that I could stay home and sleep all the time to survive. I decided not to dwell on it too much though since my night was actually going well considering the day I’d had. I had been consumed in my situations with Risk and Joey all damn day and I was done with it for the time being.

  I finished my shift at ten but I stuck around the bar to hang out with Remi, who had also finished up for the night. Jane was sneaking me shots at the bar and with each one I got a little more care free. After my fourth shot of Jack Daniels, Gray popped up on the vacant seat next to me and gave me a disapproving look. I sneered at him and downed another drink as soon as Jane set it in front of me. I even snatched the drink that she set down for Remi.

  “How in the hell do you suppose you’re getting home, Spud? I would drive you, but…you know. I’m not exactly solid.”

  “I’m a big girl and I can do whatever the hell I want to, so be nice and have fun.” I slurred and then smiled at him triumphantly, but I had obviously forgotten where I was.

  “I never said anything about it Marlee, I am having fun, but…how are we supposed to get home?” Remi replied to my outburst at Gray.

  UGH! I clearly didn’t have the answer to that question and I couldn’t understand why everyone kept asking me! “Don’t worry about it Rem, I got it.” I pulled out my phone and typed, “I think you owe me a favor asshole, so why don’t you lend a girl a hand and come get me? I’m at Rocktop and I’m smashed.” I shoved my phone back in my purse and forgot about it. After a few more shots my eyes started to droop and my head was feeling heavy. I had drank a little before, but I had never let myself get that bent out of shape. Remi asked Jane to call a cab for us and we went out front to meet it. While waiting, Remi passed out on my shoulder so when the cab got there I shoved her in the back and gave the driver her address with some cash and sent them on their way.

  I dug my keys out of my bottomless pit of a purse and fumbled with the lock on the door, probably scratching my paint job in the process, but I was too drunk to care. I had just gotten my door unlocked when I voice came up behind me, “Oh, no you don’t.” said the voice. It startled me and I turned around and kicked my assailant right in the balls. He dropped to the ground as I realized it was Risk. Shit.

  “Oh crap. I didn’t think you were coming. I’m sorry about…that.”

  He got back to his feet and took a moment to catch his breath.

  “Anyways…” I said, “I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” I was blushing just from being around him and I couldn’t get the image of his sexy tattoo out of my mind, but my heart was also breaking at the same time. Thinking about him all day after he dumped me was one thing, but seeing him was a whole different ball game, especially in the condition that I was in. As I sat down in my car I started blubbering and tried to keep my eyes away from Risk because he was putting my stomach in knots and I desperately needed to get away. I put the key in the ignition, but I was suddenly yanked from my seat.

  I knew it was Risk that had pulled me out, and probably just saved my life, but my emotions were in tangles and my head was spinning. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand smacked him across his cheek, and then I dropped to my knees and started spewing on his shoes. When I was finished retching, I noticed Risks hands on the back of my neck holding my hair back. My head was feeling less cloudy, which also meant that I was feeling like a total bitch. I was acting ridiculous and I was sure that Risk would never talk to me again. He was going to hate me more than he already did, if that was even possible.

  I started to think about what my life was going to be like without having Risk and I was sobbing again and couldn’t seem to get myself under control. Risk must have picked me up and put me in my Delray, because the next thing I knew I was being carried to my bedroom. I was put down in my bed and my shoes, tights, and shorts were shimmied down my hips until I was only wearing my Ravens jersey and panties. My bed had never felt so good and I couldn’t make myself open my eyes to see if Risk was there. I had completely forgotten about Gray after he lectured me at the bar. My last thought before sleep was, “Gray’s gonna be so pissed at me.”

  The next morning came way too fast and my head was throbbing while my alarm clock seemed to be dancing on my ear drums. One of my arms felt cold and tingly and I tried to shake it off but it wouldn’t go away. I opened my eyes and saw that Gray was trying to wake me up. “It’s time to get up.” He said.

  “Five more minutes, I’m begging you.” I rolled over and shut my eyes again.

  “You’re going to need a shower, Spud. You smell like a bar.” He wrinkled his nose and I knew that he was still irritated with me, but I couldn’t make myself care.

  I got up and stumbled to the bathroom before stripping my clothes off and adjusting the water in the shower so that it was cold enough to wake my ass up. I got ready in a hurry because I had the beer munchies and I needed some food desperately. I skipped the makeup and put on some well broken in jeans and a Pink Floyd t-shirt that Gray had insisted that I buy. I piled my damp hair on top of my head in a bun and wore my most comfortable shoes, then I stumbled down the stairs with Gray on my heels.

  I went directly to the kitchen to satisfy my cravings and noticed that I had enough time to make a couple of pancakes before I had to leave for school. I popped a couple of aspirin for my head and got to work on my breakfast. I was starting to feel a little better since I had been up and moving so I turned on the radio and started to put on my own little show right there in the kitchen. I was singing “Baby Got Back” and shaking my ass when I looked up from the stove to find Gray laughing hysterically. He was used to me acting crazy so I wasn’t so sure what he found so funny, but if it would keep him from lecturing me about teen drinking I wasn’t going to question him.

  I was about to go into the grand finale of my show when I heard a chuckle behind me that wasn’t Gray’s. I froze for a second and then whipped around to find both Gray and Risk laughing at me from the doorway. My mouth dropped open and I dropped my spatula to the floor. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK! My inner self was face palming and shaking her head. I had completely forgotten that he drove me home and all the nasty details of the night before came flooding back. I was heartbroken and Risk had just caught me shaking my ass. It was like last
night’s embarrassment was happening all over again.

  Risk came over to me and I thought that he was going to say something, but he just picked up the spatula and scooped my pancakes onto a plate. Instead of crying and making a scene I decided to stuff my face full of pancakes and indulge in that small bit of happiness before I was forced into facing him. I had to think through the things that I wanted to say to him. Risk and I ate breakfast in silence while Gray kept a watchful eye on us.

  When Risk and I were both finished he gathered up the dishes and washed them. I gave Gray a pleading look and he nodded with understanding and vanished, so it was time for Risk and I to talk. Right before I was ready to speak Risk said, “Do you mind giving me a ride to school? I had to leave my car at Rocktop last night.” I just nodded and lost all courage to say anything to him. Risk fiddled with his hands for a minute and then asked, “Did you get my note?”

  The question sent me over the edge. All of my ugly feelings surfaced and my cowardness was gone. I gave him a look that could have smoldered his soul.

  “I got your fucking note. That was bullshit Risk.” I spat. He looked away from me and I saw that his gorgeous green eyes started to cloud, but I wasn’t through with him yet. “How could you just toss me aside like one of your whores? I fucking love you! I deserved better than that!”

  Risks tears started to fall and he replied, “So you think that wasn’t hard for me? I put that note in your locker first thing Monday morning and you haven’t been to school in the last two days so I haven’t gotten to speak with you. I don’t want to hurt you Marlee, but you just don’t understand. Since I’ve met you I’ve found out that I’m some kind of a freak, my mom has went to jail, you killed my father, and I’ve never been more head over heels in love. I had all that shit dumped on me at once, so forgive me if I’m a little fucked up right now!”