Blood Burdens (The Shadow World)

by Brandy Nacole

  Danika and Ethan trade emotionally-charged looks before parting ways. When Danika gives Ethan a sad smile, he turns his back on her and boards the plane. He chooses the only single seat at the back of the plane, just outside the private bedroom. My mind travels back to when Danika sat in that seat, while Ethan rested from his Chimera attack, inside the bedroom. That chair had also helped me isolate myself from the others when I was having a hunger attack—of the blood-crazed Vampire kind.

  Two couches run along the plane’s cabin, each holds three or four people. Between the two couches are four overstuffed leather chairs that face the front of the plane. A large, flat-screen TV hangs from the front wall so everyone can see.

  I sit in one of the overstuffed chairs in the back row. Of course, Coy sits next to me in the matching chair. Addie and Reed take the other two chairs in front of us. Natahala, Brynn, and Thad sit on the couch next to me. The three shifters sit on the other couch.

  Once we’re in the air and the captain gives the all-clear to move around, Addie turns around. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I hesitate for a moment before agreeing and peek around the cabin for somewhere quiet to go. With no other option, I take her back to the private bedroom.

  I close the door and wait to hear what Addie has to say.

  “Racquel, I’m sorry for making you feel betrayed by me. I never meant for you to find out that way.”

  “Oh and how did you expect me to find out?”

  “I don’t know. I do know that I feel so ashamed.” Addie stands there, looking miserable, which makes my anger reside. I never have been good at staying mad at her.

  “I just wish you would have told me sooner.” I notice Addie’s jitteriness and forget all about the argument. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I look her over, worried that the dreams are still getting to her.

  Addie exhales a breath, “You told the Elders that our grandfather wasn’t in your vision. Is that true?”

  Confusion clouds my thoughts. “Where’s this coming from, Addie?”

  “I’m just worried. What if what Witten said is true? What if Cerelia did kill him?”

  I shrug. My grandfather died the day I found out he’d watched me being tortured and did nothing to help. “It saves me the pain of having to do it myself.”

  Addie gasps, “Don’t say that.”

  “What? It’s true.” If it came to killing my grandfather to save this world, then that’s what I would have to do. I have already come to terms with that decision, even though my stomach drops every time I think about it. It’s easy to talk the talk. I’m just worried about walking the walk. I’m not going to let Addie know that, though.

  Addie is shocked by my response. “He’s still our grandfather, Racquel. You can’t tell me you feel no remorse at the thought of Cerelia killing him.”

  That’s true. I do feel some remorse. But that remorse is for the man I once knew, not the man he is now. I would always feel sorrow for the grandfather who tried to toughen me up while sharing his love as best he could. But never would pain be felt for the man who stole my DNA to make more monsters like me to kill innocent people.

  I grab Addie’s arms. “Listen, Addie. If something has happened to Edwin, it might be for the best. You can imagine what the Ruling Council would have done to him. But we don’t know if Cerelia has in fact killed him.”

  A tear slips down Addie’s cheek. “What if she did?”

  I hate seeing the misery on her face. “One way or the other we will stop her. And bring justice for his death.”

  Addie nods her head and wipes the tears from her face. I give her hug and hold her for a moment. Speaking of worries, I can’t pick a better time to ask about one of my own. “Addie how are the nightmares?”

  Addie averts her eyes, obviously wanting to avoid this topic. “I haven’t had much sleep since we talked. If they get out of hand, I’ll talk to you.”

  It seems to be the truth. “Promise?” I ask sternly.

  Addie meets my eyes. “Promise.”

  We hug again before leaving the room. Coy gives me a funny look then asks if I’m hungry. I say yes, so he goes back to the little kitchenette in search of food. He comes back with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

  “They stocked the plane this time. There are all kinds of yummy food back there.” Coy takes a bite of his sandwich and then gives me an encouraging nod to take a bite. We eat our sandwiches in silence. Can he can feel the tension between the two of us, I wonder.

  “Coy-” I start but he’s already speaking.

  “Racquel, listen. I didn’t mean for you to think that I was pushing you last night.” He doesn’t explain his meaning but I get it anyway. “That’s not what I was trying to do. I am still struggling with that but I think it’s getting better.”

  I try to interrupt him, to confess I’d used him as an excuse, but he holds his hand up. “Just listen. I know my problem put some distance between us and I’m sorry for that. This void I feel between us is my fault.” I cringe inside with guilt as he picks up my hands and pulls me closer to him. “Please give me the chance to make it up to you.”

  I peer up into Coy’s eyes. Tears threaten to escape down my cheeks. “I can’t.”

  I brace myself for the hurt that I expect to see on his face. The disbelief of what I’m saying. Instead, Coy draws me closer to him, our faces only inches apart.

  “Then I will try anyway.” Coy closes the distance between us as he brings his lips down on mine. It’s a sweet kiss, but I don’t respond.

  When he pulls back, the sorrow I expected before is there now. “Have I really hurt you that bad?”

  Be honest, Racquel. Just be honest. “It’s just-” My words die on my lips. I can’t do this. I’m such a coward. I try bringing back all those little moments with Coy before. The kisses we shared in London as we lay in bed together. The passion we expressed to one another as we made our way to Greenland. But I can’t. I can’t find those feelings to draw me back to him.

  Coy places a finger over my lips. “It’s okay. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

  A single tear escapes down my cheek. Coy takes his thumb to brush it away, giving me a soft kiss where the tear had been. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve his kindness. His want to make this work. He deserves better. He deserves the truth. But what is the truth?

  He leans back, relaxing in his chair, as he takes my hand in his. Before long I hear his shallow breathing as he falls into a deep sleep. I want to remove my hand from his but I’m too afraid of waking him.

  I sigh as I lean my head back against the seat. What was the truth? The truth was I don’t have the same feelings for him anymore. I’ve tried to keep my feelings for him open since we talked in Virginia, when I found him with a bandage over his neck. But keeping myself open and finding nothing was pointless. I was just going to have to tell him that. I just don’t know how. Coy was the first guy to ever treat me like I was just another person. He was also the first guy I ever kissed. And the only human I’ve ever bitten. It’s complicated. I have no clue how to tell him the truth behind my feelings without losing him or his friendship, forever.

  Natahala clears her throat. She offers me a kind smile. “How long have you and the boy been seeing each other?”

  I think back to the first kiss Coy and I shared. “A little over a month and a half.”

  “Have you bitten him?” Natahala asks the question like it’s a common relationship interaction. I, on the other hand, am taken aback. This was like asking a stranger about their sex life, it’s something you just don’t do.

  “Why?” I ask cautiously. I glance over to Coy’s sleeping face and see the scars on his neck from the many years of being a feeder.

  “You two seem close, but also strained. I only ask because I was curious if you had bitten him, did you tune out his feelings, or your own?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  Natahala’s expression turns from kind to grim. “What did you feel when you bi
t him?”

  I pause, debating whether or not to answer her. It isn’t any of her business, but being who she is, she might know something that I need to know. “I felt his emotions, the care he held for me was intense.” Every time I bit Coy, we became so enwrapped in each other’s feelings we lost control in each other’s arms. The last time I bit him, we almost took things too far. Thankfully my family history and my fear of history repeating itself had stopped me.

  “What were your feelings for him?” Natahala asks.

  “Why?” I ask defensively.

  “I don’t mean to pry, Racquel.” Natahala says with a hint of understanding. She knew this was uncomfortable for me, but also had something to share with me. “I just didn’t know if you knew about the emotional level of biting someone and the consequences that can come from it if we don’t block our feelings.”

  Oh crap, does that mean once again my lack of knowledge about the Shadows inside me has led to some freaky mutual addiction? This is so typical of my luck! “What do you mean?”

  “As you know, when we bite a human, we take their life force. Part of that life force contains their emotions, their beliefs. In return, we can share our feelings with the human if we don’t block them. The feelings become magnified because you’re sharing them back and forth with one another. A feedback loop. That is why all Vampires must learn to block their feelings.”

  I glance at Coy, who’s still sleeping. “And the consequence is false feelings?”

  “Not necessarily, but they can be misleading. You said that you felt Coy’s feelings for you. Those feelings could have been on a friendship level until you bit him. Once those emotions were opened, they intensified into something more.”

  “Feelings, like false love?” I ask quietly.

  “False’ is a difficult word to define in this case,” Natahala responds. “Do you love him?” I look at Coy and know that I don’t love him. I care for him, but that way?

  “No.”

  “Then you must tell him what I just told you. He may not know what’s happening. I saw the way he looked at you earlier. There’s no doubt that he cares for you but he may also be clinging to the feelings you once shared. Those feelings will never be felt again unless you continue to openly feed on him.” Natahala sighs. “I say this to you because I have seen what the misguided feelings can do to someone.”

  I turn back at Natahala, “What happens?”

  Natahala gets a faraway gaze in her eyes. “More than a century ago, there was a Vampire named Blake, who fell in love with his feeder. The feeder, Clara, was a widower with two children. Her family had been in service to the Alastair’s for quite some time. Clara began to care for Blake, and Blake shared the same feelings for Clara. He protected her and eventually asked his father if Clara could be his feeder. Blake’s father agreed. As Blake began to open up while he fed from her, he also felt Clara’s affection for him. As their feelings intensified, Blake began to fall helplessly in love with Clara.

  Eventually, Blake confronted Clara about his feelings for her, and what they shared. He offered to make her immortal so they could be together forever. Clara resisted Blake because of her two young children. Blake offered to turn them too, but Clara refused, saying she didn’t want her children damned in that sort of life forever. Blake became outraged and when Clara refused to be his feeder, Blake retaliated. He turned her children while she pleaded with him not to.

  Blake then told Clara that he would not turn her until she agreed to spend eternity with him. Of course, Clara never did beg for his forgiveness. She did try to kill her children. Blake’s father, Michael Alastair, heard about Clara’s vengefulness and feared for his own son. He took matters into his own hands and killed Clara. Not too long after that, Blake took his own life. It was a touching declaration. He was already centuries old so the sun had its full effect on him. He laid over Clara’s grave until his body turned to ash.”

  I can’t believe that sincere feelings would turn into such violence. I can never see myself turning against Coy with so much anger and hatred.

  “You’ve met one of Clara’s children. Jared.” Natahala says.

  “Jared is Clara’s son?” Now I understand. No wonder Jared had held hatred in his eyes when I asked if Aldrick had changed him. Aldrick would be a god-send compared to what he went through. “Wait, you said this happened over a century ago. Jared said he and Sofi were turned eighty years ago.”

  Natahala nods. “When Blake first started having feelings for her, the children were only four and two. Blake waited until the children were in their twenties before turning them. Jared was twenty-two.”

  “Why did Blake wait so long?”

  “Time is different to a Vampire. He waited long enough to let Clara think he wouldn’t retaliate, before he struck.” Natahala’s voice lowers a degree. “Now do you understand why I asked such a personal question?”

  I nod and glance at Coy’s sleeping face. The last thing I want to do is hurt Coy. Dragging him along will only accomplish that. As much as I dreaded telling him the truth it was going to happen, one way or another.

  “Where is Jared?” I ask.

  Mournfully, Natahala answers, “I’m not sure. After the death of his sister, Jared disappeared.” Natahala sighs, “I hope he’s off somewhere healing instead of planning something juvenile.”

  I fear that Jared is in fact planning something very juvenile. As desperate as Jared appeared when he found us in London, I wouldn’t put it past him to do something stupid. We’re all desperate at this point though. Maybe doing something on a whim is better than days of planning. Needless to say, Witten and the others won’t do something reckless. I’m sure Witten had Lucas working on our itineraries right now.

  Chapter Eleven

  Eighteen hours after leaving Boston, we land in Mykonos. It’s early Friday morning and the airport is packed. Most of the traffic is travelers coming for a spectacular getaway or those leaving with sadness that their getaway is over.

  Once through the airport, we are greeted by two Witches from the Mykonos Coven. A girl steps forward, hands folded in front of her. “I’m so glad you made it safely. My name is Cadi,” she gestures to the guy behind her, “and this is Filek. Alanis, our sub-leader, has sent us to take you back to the Coven.” Cadi has a strong, beautiful accent, the kind that all girls from the States envy. Her features are delicate and framed by long black wavy hair. Her eyes are dark blue like the rest of the younger Witches. Filek is handsome, with a strong jaw, short black hair styled in a messy spike style, and dark blue eyes that watch us closely.

  After the introductions are made, we take a drive through Mykonos. I savor the beauty of the island. The architecture of the island is spectacular. All the building, houses, and churches are painted white, with smooth, asymmetrical surfaces. The roofs are flat and I marvel at doors of pink, fuchsia, bright yellow, dull sienna, shimmering red, ochre, mauve, dirty green and turquoise that almost seemed to capture the color of the sea itself. The beauty of the city is accented by the bright blue water of the Aegean Sea.

  As we pass a church in the cities center, I want to stop and bask in its tranquility. The white-washed church is surrounded by spiraling stairs on both sides that leads to an arch, ending at the top door of the dome-shaped church. There are only a few doors leading inside. The beauty of the church is held in its peaceful architecture. It’s not jumbled up with the color of art or fancy architectural designs. The bright blue sky illuminating the church gives it a peaceful serenity.

  Once outside the city, we see few structures in the bright green land. The Mykonos Coven is located outside the city in a desolate part of the island. Filek points his community out once we come over a hill. The Coven sits at the bottom of the hill, right along the beach. The homes are designed and built like the homes in the city, with three rows of homes and buildings built in a circular fashion. In the middle sits a bigger home with the statue of Hecate in the front lawn.

  Filek parks in front of the hous
e in the middle. An older woman who I can’t help but compare in presence to Eldrida, walks out. Her hair is mostly gray, but it only accentuates her timeless beauty. As we exit the vans, the older woman greets the Elders. “I am Alanis. It is an honor to meet with you.” Alanis has a beautiful accent, much like Cadi’s.

  Dagna, Witten, Laveda, and Meira introduce everyone. When Alanis’s faded blue eyes meet mine, a warm welcoming grin spreads across her face, and she takes my hand in hers. “Welcome. It is so great to meet you, my dear. I have heard stories of the bravery you showed when facing Cerelia. It is an honor.”

  Although I’m distracted by the compliment—rare, when directed at me—the resemblance that Alanis has with Eldrida is astonishing. Not only in the way she appears but also in the gentle manner she carries herself. “It’s nice to meet you too. Without your help, we wouldn’t even be here.”

  Alanis gives my hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. She tells us to follow her inside. The interior of the house is as beautiful as the outside. The walls are done in the same whitewashed manner as the outside walls. The paintings that hang around the room are mostly of the ocean. The room is highlighted by a huge painting of Hecate that hangs over the fireplace in the sitting room. In the painting, her hair blows in the wind as she looks out over the ocean, with her hand outstretched.

  Clay pots line the walls, hang from the ceiling, and are set on various tables throughout the room. “Please be careful of the clay vases. They are gifts from my Coven. Cadi and Filek will show you to the guest house in a short while, but first I would like to discuss your plans for the next two days.”

  Witten addresses Alanis. “If possible, we were hoping survey Delos. If Cerelia is planning on using the island to finish her binding, we need a plan of attack.”

  “What is your plan of attack?” Alanis asks, folding her hands in her lap.

  “I think an ambush is our best option. Cerelia knows we are coming, thanks to Aldrick’s betrayal. But I still think we need to wait until we know they are on the island before we arrive.” Witten paces the room as he works out his battle plans.