Forsaken Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  She didn’t walk on eggshells around any topic. One of the things Sloan liked about Ruby was her directness. Too bad her directness was going to put them in a very uncomfortable situation. She wanted immediate results and Sloan wanted to avoid being sued.

  Setting the menu back on the table, Sloan leaned back in the vinyl booth, still clinging to her hand as if that would keep his answer neutral. “Honestly, I think you should rethink taking him from his current home. Thompson gave me a complete dossier this morning on the entire situation. After studying all the information, I just don’t think that kind of change would be beneficial for the child.” He ignored the fine layer of perspiration that broke out on his neck. She’d wanted direct; he’d given it to her. Hopefully, she wanted what she got.

  Ruby jerked back, betrayal turning her lips down from the excited smile she’d kept muted but in place. She sighed, immediate tears threatening. She pulled her hand away from his, drawing her arms tight across her chest. “What do his circumstances have to do with you? Why do you care? I just want to know where my son is.”

  His lack of an answer bugged her. She broke off and stared at the table, and then she lifted her chin. “You guys should not get to make that decision. From the beginning my choices have been taken away from me. Guy Lansing raped me. I was sent away from my home and not allowed to come back. I was pregnant with a baby nobody asked me if I wanted or not. After I had the child that I did want, he was taken from me. I was lied to. I didn’t get a choice. Then, I came home to my family, and I know you think that it was a choice that you gave me and that you were helping me, but you took me away with those police officers. I didn’t have a choice. After the hospital, I came here. Because I didn’t feel like I had a choice. You offered me my son, which made me feel like the choice was obvious. You told me you would help me. And now, here you are as if I had a choice in the entire thing. And I don’t. You’re telling me what to do. Just like Jessica Bland told me what to do.”

  She thrust her finger into the air between them. “All I want is my son. Some control over this life of mine would be nice, too.”

  Sloan sucked in air like she’d punched him in the chest. He’d been contributing to her plight when all he’d wanted to do was help her. “Ruby, I just want to talk to about your options. I feel like you and I could be going somewhere. I just want to make sure you’re prepared for whatever you end up doing.” Sloan wanted her to calm down. He wanted to make her see how he was feeling. She’d never be able to see his affection while she stared at him in disappointment.

  Ruby slid from the booth. Shaking her head, she looked down at him. “Where is he? What is his name? Where does he live? That’s all I want from you. I don’t want to be with you, when you can’t be honest with me. I don’t want it...” She moved her hands between them as if trying to show him the line that was between them. “We’re not together. This thing... Whatever it is, or was, it’s not there anymore. You’ve lied to me. I can’t trust you. Do what you promised and get me my son.” She crossed her arms and waited for an answer.

  Sloan refused to believe she meant what she said. Her emotions were in the way and he’d seen them more than once. “I honestly don’t have the exact location. It’s in a file. I don’t want you to be gun shy about this or paranoid. I understand why you are. But I want you to know I am not setting out to hurt you. That’s not what this is. This is me trying to protect you. I’m trying to protect your son.”

  Ruby slammed her hand on the counter and leaned into him, piercing his eyes with her own. “It’s not your job to protect me.”

  Before Sloan could stop her, Ruby whirled and ran from the restaurant.

  He didn’t know how, but he would have to find her and make things right. Sloan just wanted her happy. He wanted to be the one that did that for her.

  How could he do that when she pushed him away without even trying to see things from his point of view?

  Chapter 13

  Ruby

  No one was on her side. Once again, Ruby was left alone to deal with a situation she’d counted on others to help her with. When was she going to learn? She could only rely on herself. That was it.

  Things were not going to turn out the way they had last time. No one was going to take her son away from her again. She didn’t have the chance to fight for him when he’d been born. Now that she knew he wasn’t dead, she wouldn’t let anyone take him. She had a choice and it was a clear one.

  Sloan would expect her to go for a walk or go to her room and sulk. He’d expect her to wait by the car or something a normal girl would do. He didn’t expect her to go after her son herself. No one ever expected Ruby to do anything. Somehow she’d been saddled with a label of helplessness.

  She was anything but.

  If she couldn’t trust a man, any man, she’d have to trust herself. She couldn’t trust a man who wanted to talk her out of getting her son. True, she hadn’t let Sloan finish what he’d set out to talk to her about, but she didn’t care. Camden was her main priority. Falling in love was nowhere on her radar.

  She didn’t have very much time before Sloan would be right behind her. He was the type of guy that followed the woman when she was upset. Ruby had to get into his office and get any information on her son that she could find. Knowing how carefully organized he was, he most likely had a file. His filing cabinet was the perfect place to keep it.

  She stormed down the street, ignoring the trucks and cars as they passed her. Wind pulled at her shirt and hair. Ruby picked up the pace, swinging her arms. What if she got into his office? Could she get in and find the file before Sloan got back from the restaurant?

  Was he the type of man to rush after her to try to stop her? He had driven them. He probably thought she was waiting by the car. They weren’t more than a mile from the hotel, but did she have enough time to cross the distance and do what she needed to? Would he still try to eat?

  The numerous variables clawed at her. She couldn’t walk any faster. The curves in the road leading to the facility turned sharp, giving the illusion they were long.

  Ruby broke into a jog spurred by desperation. No one wanted to give her any information. No one wanted to help her. Forget them. She could figure out the problem on her own.

  She was wrong. The distance to Parker’s Place wasn’t a mile to the facility. She reached its security gate in approximately eight-hundred yards. The curves in the road didn’t lend to a realistic length. Plus, Sloan might’ve gone a different way to get to the restaurant.

  None of that mattered. She let herself into the security gate and closed it securely behind her. She had to get into his office without any light. When she was in there, she could use the light on her phone to search the files, but who knew if he would go in there when he got back.

  Uncertainty knotted in her stomach. She clenched her fist over the soft spot below her navel and pressed deep as she carefully made her way to the office area.

  Would his office be locked?

  She approached the door, looking around for the security guard who walked his rounds nightly.

  The sun had dropped below the mountains but still lit the sky. While the inside of the building was dim, the outdoors waited for the sun to set.

  Ruby put her hand on the brass door knob and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She whispered, “Please, be open.” She pushed softly on the door and twisted, opening the panel silently.

  The breath she had held whooshed out in relief. She ducked inside, closing it behind her and standing there for a moment. What was she doing? Stealing and breaking and entering were illegal. Why was she doing this?

  Because no one would help her. She had to help herself. She steadied her resolve.

  She didn’t have time to freak out. Or get scared. Or doubt her plan. She’d laid out the action steps and she knew what she had to do. Just get it done, Ruby.

  Her eyes adjusted to the dim interior. She rushed across to his desk, stubbing her toe on the desk leg. She grabbed her foot
and glared at the tall filing cabinet standing beside it like a tower in the castle.

  She scanned his desk which was cleared off except for a desk calendar and a lamp. There was no sign of a file. It wasn’t there. She ran her hand under the surface, encountering only one drawer in the center. Carefully opening it, she wrinkled her nose at the pencils and pens.

  Turning to the filing cabinet, she trailed her fingers along the smooth surface of the desk. She couldn’t help thinking that Sloan sat there. He worked in that office. She tried ignoring the cologne lingering from his presence earlier in the day. Opening the top drawer, she rifled through the numerous manila folders. He kept it alphabetized but whose name was it under?

  Camden? No, because he couldn’t verify that was the child’s name, right? Ruby. Ruby Darby. D.

  Her hand trembled... There. Her name was there. She pulled the yellow file out and set it on the desk. She carefully closed the drawer and claimed Sloan’s seat for her own. Scooting forward, Ruby held her hand over the file.

  Wait. What was she doing? She didn’t have time for that. She pushed back from the desk and shoved the file underneath her shirt, sucking in her stomach to hide its form. Stepping out of the office, she closed the door and looked around.

  No one in sight. She crossed her arms over her stomach to hold the file in place and further hide it from eyes that might look to hard for something suspicious. She needed to get to her room. Walking toward the stairs, Ruby winced as a pebble worked its way around in her shoe under her sock. She stopped for a second at the bottom of the stairs and kicked off her shoe. Bending over she shook the small rock out.

  “Ruby. Wait.” Sloan’s voice called out, making her stand and she lifted her chin as he approached.

  Ruby froze as his footsteps carried him closer and closer. What if he knew? When had he gotten there? Had he seen her leave his office? Did he know?

  She turned slowly, arms tight across her stomach. “What?” She had to put up her defenses against a man she’d felt so safe with. The need for protection hurt more than anything else. She ignored his apologetic look as he studied her with his blue eyes.

  Clearing his throat, he held out a paper bag spotted with grease on the sides. “I didn’t want you to miss out on dinner. I waited and ordered. I hope that’s okay.” His voice was low and gentle like a caress.

  She didn’t want to take his offering. What would obligate her to besides her attachment to him? Ruby could control her emotions. “When I let my guard down... I mean, I knew better than to let my guard down. I’m not going to do that again. And burritos aren’t going to fix it. But, thank you.” She turned before he could see the tears pricking her eyes.

  He didn’t try to stop her and she was grateful as the weight of the thick file pulled at her shirt and rubbed against her skin.

  Ruby made her way up the stairs and ducked into her room. Closing the door, she leaned against the panel inside. After a moment she sank to the ground still leaning against the door. While she didn’t sob, tears definitely poured down her face, dripping off her chin.

  After a long moment, she roused herself and moved to the bed. Turning on the light, she pulled the file out from under her shirt.

  The file was thick. Sloan really did have a lot of information on her. Ruby paused, her hand above the file and then she opened it.

  Pinned to the left panel of the folder was a four by six inch picture of her from a year or so ago and a standard sheet of personal information. How many times had he opened it and seen her face staring at him? If she had a file on him, how many times would she have looked at him? She didn’t want to answer that question.

  On the right-hand side of the file a thick stack of papers waited for her perusal. The very first name she saw was Guy Lansing, and she pulled back her hand like a mountain lion had licked it.

  His picture had been folded in half and creased. She unfolded it and stared at the face of the man who had set her on that course eleven years ago. The picture depicted an older man, a man desperate to find companionship. He didn’t hide the loneliness in his eyes.

  Ruby didn’t have any compassion for him. She’d long ago decided he wouldn’t rule anything about her. He wouldn’t take any more emotions or time away from me. She didn’t even see him as Camden’s father – just a man who ruined her past.

  She didn’t care about Guy. Where was the information on her son? She flipped the stack of papers on Guy to the side and caught her breath.

  A picture of a ten-year-old boy with green eyes and curly red hair took her breath away. His picture had been stapled to three pieces of paper filled with his personal information; what school he went to, where he lived... The picture covered his name.

  Ruby put her hand over his picture and looked up at the ceiling. Did she want to know? Did she want to know what his real name was or did she want to just continue calling him Camden and make him adjust to that when she took him with her? Camden. She loved the name, but she loved the boy. She wouldn’t ask him to leave his life and leave his identity behind.

  She took a deep breath. No, that wouldn’t be fair. She pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut really tight. Reality was rushing around her. What was she doing? Wait, just a second. Breathing in and out, Ruby couldn’t believe she would know his name. His real name.

  She tilted her head down, eyes closed, but she positioned her face so the first thing she saw would be his picture and the information she craved.

  On the count of three. One. Two. Three. She snapped her eyes open and scanned the handwriting.

  Her jaw dropped and her breath hitched. His name wasn’t Camden.

  It was Cameron. Cameron Davis. That was the name of her son. And in the night, when she talked to him by herself, she called him Cam. She could still do that. So much of her relationship with him the last ten years may have been in her mind, but she didn’t have to lose all of it.

  She tenderly picked up the picture and studied him. He had freckles across his nose, and the shape of his jaw was just like his Uncle Jareth’s.

  No matter what, Sloan was not getting that picture back. Having the information right there made her want to see her son even more.

  As if her desire could get any stronger.

  She decided she wasn’t going to wait. No one else was going to choose for her. She wanted her son and she was going to go get him.

  Chapter 14

  Sloan

  What had Sloan done? Had he pushed her away? He really only wanted what was best for her. Ruby was paranoid and Sloan hadn’t done anything to make her feel better. He’d dropped the ball and she had no problem making sure he knew it. Where had he gone wrong?

  No matter what he did, he couldn’t sleep. Dropping a bombshell on Ruby, he’d told her they found her son and then he yanked it all away from her. What she said made sense. He had taken her choices from her. That wasn’t his intention, but that didn’t matter. He still did it. He still told her what to do, rather than presenting her with all the facts and letting her make the decision he knew she was capable of making.

  The next morning, Sloan found himself at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her around dawn. He had to see her. Even if all she did was yell at him, he didn’t care. She had to know how sorry he was and that he hadn’t meant to make her feel powerless. The woman had transfixed him and he couldn’t continue acting like they were just friends. She meant too much to him and he didn’t want her to leave and he didn’t’ want her to be upset with him.

  That was out of his control. Just like her son was out of hers.

  She carried herself with dignity down the stairs. Avoiding looking at him, she headed toward the kitchen.

  Sloan fell into step beside her. His heart twisted at her indifference, but he cared too much to stay silent. “I just want you to be happy. Ruby, I think rushing into things would be bad for you and him. I really don’t want to see you get hurt. Hurting him would hurt you, more than you know.”

  Ruby stopped, ballin
g her fists at her side. She glanced at him, condescension strong in her gaze. “You don’t care about him or me. You’re a liar. The worst part is how much I was starting to care and... I trusted you.” Her voice broke on the last part and he didn’t stop her as she walked away. The pain in her eyes coursed through him, freezing him to the spot.

  Sloan didn’t want to bug her anymore or ruin her breakfast. So even though it hurt, he ducked into his office.

  Pacing, he pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. Was there something he could do? Maybe if he spoke to a mediator or something, maybe they could at least let her meet him. The adoption had been closed, and there were so many legal ramifications surrounding the situation, Sloan wasn’t exactly sure where to start.

  To start, he might call a friend of his who was a judge and get his advice. The case file would have the contact information on it and the dates he would need. Usually there were statutes of limitations on the cases they dealt with. Dates were very important.

  He reached into the filing cabinet for her file but it wasn’t under D. Or R. Maybe he had misfiled it. He searched all of the files, all of the folders, on top of the filing cabinet, and nothing.

  Where had he put it? But no, he remembered putting in the filing cabinet. It wasn’t there. The file wasn’t on his desk or in the single drawer. Where had he put it?

  He sat at his seat and tilted his head while he considered what might have happened.

  Could Ruby have... No, he couldn’t see her breaking into his office. But then again, Sloan recognized desperation and Ruby was determined enough to come into his office and steal the file. She’d find her son – no matter who tried to stop her.

  The part of him starting to care for her, the part that knew he needed her, hoped that she had. Because if she really had come in there and stolen his file, then that meant that she was done letting other people tell her what to do and that she really did love her son.