Under the surface

by Jaye Cox

  “Well, it won’t be the first time you didn’t take my side, would it?” I say walking away. “That asshole.” I say walking back out where Dex, Jash and Joe are now starting a movie. “I might skip the movie boys. Joe, are you cool to fend for yourself tonight?”

  “I’m good Ruby, you can go and do what you were doing with Dex before.”

  “Watch it kid.” Dex says.

  Joe gives Dex the finger and we go to my room. “What’s the deal with you and Ty anyway?” Dex questions, walking into my bedroom.

  “Not much I care to share, we have both been through some rough shit over the years. I fucked up a few times and he’s always been my rock. He doesn’t want me to ruin what he has here.”

  “How would you ruin things here?”

  “Sleeping with you and you falling in love with me and me running at the first sign of feelings.”

  “Do you want me to talk to him, and make him see I’m not going to fall in love with you or something?”

  “It won’t help, once Ty is set on something, it’s a done deal.” I say.

  “Can we meet up tomorrow, without friends?” He says kissing my neck.

  “And without brothers,” he says, kissing down my shoulder.

  “And the kid,” he says, kissing down to my cleavage.

  “And Jash?” he says, pulling my tank top down and taking my nipple in his mouth.

  I think we should just be friends.” I say, pushing his body from mine.

  “Friends?” He says, with a little sarcasm.

  “Yes, this between us would never go further than fuck friends. And that’s not worth hurting Ty over. I’m sorry, but that’s all I can offer you.”

  “We can be friends. I still think it won’t be long before you jump my bones, just you wait and see.”

  “If you say so, friend.” I say.

  “Goodnight, Ruby.”

  “Goodnight, Dex.”

  I hear my phone buzzing over and over. I feel around and pull my head out from under my pillow to see who dares call me on my day off. Jash’s ugly mug is flashing on my screen. I hit answer and put the phone on speaker as my brain can’t comprehend holding up my arms this early. “This had better be a life or death situation.” I grumble.

  “You know how you love me right?” He starts out.

  “If you fucking woke me up to make you coffee, I will kill you.”

  “No,” he inserts, “but I do need a huge favour from you.”

  “Can it wait until I’m alive?”

  “Um, not exactly,” he is so hesitant, I’m beginning think this might be something serious?

  “What do you need?”

  “I need you to come pick me up,” he says.

  “Dude, catch a bloody taxi.”

  “I can’t, I’m naked and can’t find my clothes,” he whines. That gets my attention and I can’t help but laugh. Not an ordinary chuckle between mates, but an all out, tears down your face laugh. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m being serious here. They’ve given me my wake-up call, that I have no memory of making, and have twenty minutes until they kick me out.”

  I still can’t stop laughing, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. “Let me get this straight, you’re naked in a motel room and they’re going to kick you out in twenty minutes.”

  “Ruby!” he chastises “Will you come get me please and bring me some clothes?”

  Sighing in exasperation, I roll and place my reluctant feet on the floor. “Where are you?”

  “You know that seedy little motel just down by the servo, near Paulie’s? I’m in room twelve.” The relief I hear in this voice is rewarding.

  Resigned to my fate “Yep! See you in twenty five minutes,” I taunt, and as I go to hang up the call I hear him yell out, “Twenty minutes Ruby, Twenty fucking minutes!”

  Yawning & stretching, I dress without care then make my way to his room. I rifle though his clean laundry until I have what I need. After locking up, I head over to the car, and realise I am still chuckling; Jash has screwed up and is going to be the butt of my jokes for a long time. Fifteen minutes later, I’m turning into the seedy motels carpark. After quickly locating room twelve, I park and knock on the door. Cautiously, Jash pulls open the door only wearing a towel. “Thank god,” he breathes.

  “No, not God, just me.” I say, as I throw him his clothes and shut the door behind me.

  “You’re the best,” he says. “I didn’t want to walk home butt naked – you really saved my ass.”

  “As much as I would have found it funny to watch you walking home with no clothes on, I don’t think other people would have appreciated it.” I sneer.

  “Everyone wants to see all this naked,” he says running a hand over his abs. “I knew you had fantasies about seeing me naked. Sorry, you’re all out of luck today!” he taunts, walking into the bathroom.

  “Ohhhh, now you are dreaming.” I respond, only to hear him laughing through the bathroom door. We both know we don’t have that kind of friendship. Once he is dressed, we head home and I drill him about what happened after I left Paulie’s last night. He says he remembers flirting with a blonde – whoa big surprise there - but he doesn’t remember leaving with her, or how he ended up at a motel. Only getting the wake-up call and immediately panicking. Since I’m awake, I might as well make some coffee and make sure everything is set for tonight, we’re throwing Joe a birthday party. He told me last week he’d never had a birthday party, so I have gone all out and organised him one, with all the favourites from childhood. I didn’t get many parties once I was in care, but I do remember the ones I had before my mum left me. Sixteen is also an age all kids should get a kickass party. I just hope he doesn’t think it’s too dorky; having a surprise party at his age, with kid games.

  “Look who I found out the front.” Jash says walking into the kitchen, with Dex casually strolling in behind him.

  “Hey,” is all I say. We, or I, decided we should just be friends. He still thinks I shouldn’t let my brother tell me who I can sleep with, but I don’t want to mess things up for Ty. And since we both don’t want relationships - us sleeping together is now off the table.

  “Is the kid here?” he asks.

  “Not yet, I texted him before I had to go and pick up Jash, he said he would be around shortly.”

  I hear a whimper and Jash says, “Are you planning on telling everyone?”

  “Um,” I pretend to think, “You wake me up, you need to be picked you up from a sleazy motel, you’re stark naked and about to be kicked out....Yep, I will be telling everyone.” I couldn’t stop the evil chuckle that emerged.

  Dex throws his head back and laughs. I see the side of his neck stretched out and I think about how I would love to kiss down it and around his jaw, continuing on down his torso. “Might want to wipe the drool.” Jash whispers on his way out of the kitchen. I lift my eyes back up to Dex, and am astonished to see his eye are gleaming with want and need. He has seen my reaction and knows what I’m thinking.

  “Do not say anything.” I emphasise, pointing at him.

  “Didn’t plan on it.” He says, following me out of the kitchen.

  “So, what time is this party tonight?” Jash asks as we walk into the lounge room, where he is setting up the Xbox.

  “Starting at five, but can you make sure you and Morris have him back here by five thirtyish? That will give everyone time to get here?” I say, turning to Dex to make sure he understands what I need him to do.

  “What do I have to do?” Jash moans.

  “You owe me after this morning, so you will be helping me set up.” I say, rubbing it in.

  “I’m really more of a supervisor,” he says, trying to get off the hook.

  “You were naked and getting kicked out; I really think you are more of a free muscle type today.” I grin.

  “Okay fine, but you were totally checking Dex out in the kitchen before,” he teases.

  “Was not.” I say.

  “Was not what?” Joe a
sks, walking in the front door.

  “Drooling over all this.” Dex says gesturing to his body.

  “You two are worse than teenagers.” Joe says, plopping down on the couch.

  “Happy birthday, Kid.” Dex says.

  “Happy birthday, here is your present from me,” I say leaning over the back of the couch and handing him an envelope. He is stunned when he opens it and the lip ring falls out. I knew he’d been eyeing it at the shop for weeks. He is overcome with emotion, but shakily smiles and asks me if I’m doing his lip today.

  “Yep, if you want me to; I have some stuff here so we can if you’re ready.” I’m leaving that choice up to him, it’s his body after all.

  “Can we do it now?” he eagerly responds, reverently touching the silver metal ring.

  “Sure; I will go set up and call you down in a sec.”

  The guys have gifts for him, so that will keep him busy for a few minutes while I sterilize the bathroom. I finish wiping everything down and call Joe to come in. He is so excited, I clean off his lip and mark it. Once he has agreed it’s where he wants it, I make sure he is good to go and he’s fine; the little sicko watches as I push the needle and then the starter jewellery through.

  “Holy shit, that looks awesome, you’re the best.” And he impulsively hugs me.

  “Make sure you don’t change it to the ring until it’s fully healed, and you know the drill with cleaning it. I have the cleanser in my room, so just take some before you go.” I advise, packing everything up.

  “I’m gonna go play the new Xbox game Jash got me for a bit.” He is embarrassed by his emotional outburst. So I just clinically go about my clean up and ignore his unease.

  “Okay, I have to go out for a while, but make sure you come back tonight for pizza and cake.”

  “Sure, I can come back here after training.”

  I tell him to be careful of his lip and to not spar too much until it’s healed. He has mainly been working out in the gym because he wants to bulk up, to impress the ladies.

  “I have to go and help Big Moe with some painting, but I will pick you up in a few hours kid, and take you to the gym.” Dex says to Joe.

  “I will be here playing Xbox with Jash.” Joe says, not taking his eyes of the TV.

  Everything is set up and we’re all waiting on Dex to bring Joe back. Morris and the pitbull just showed up, so they can’t be far behind. Jash and I had spent the last few hours setting up bobbing for apples and pass the parcel. I even have musical chairs set up, and a jumping castle. I hope he doesn’t think the whole idea is stupid, but I wanted to re-create for him what childhood birthdays should have been like.

  “He’s here,” Jash whispers.

  “They can’t hear you,” I say, shaking my head at Jash. Everyone is waiting for the front door to open.

  “SURPRISE!” Everyone yells as Joe walks inside, the poor kid looks like he near had a panic attack. Joe doesn’t say anything and I think maybe he’s overwhelmed. I look at Dex, thinking something had happened on the way over here, but he just shrugs at me. I watch as Joe scans the room in silence. But once he spots me, he smiles and runs over and nearly knocks me on my ass as he hugs me.

  “You did this for me?” He enquires.

  “We did this for you. You are a good kid, dealt a shitty hand, and you should get a kickass party.”

  “You guys are the best,” he says.

  “You’re not too bad yourself, now go see your mates.” I say and he goes off outside with a few of the kids from the gym. Morris was in charge of inviting them and I didn’t think he had made this many friends. But from the turn out, Joe seems to have made a quite a few new friends.

  I thought the pass the parcel and bobbing for apples games would be to childish, but Joe and his friends seemed to enjoy themselves playing around. We are currently playing musical chairs and it’s getting pretty intense; and down to Jash and Joe. I never realised how competitive Jash was with kid games. One chair left and they are both circling it, we made a rule they both had to be a certain distance from the chair. Jash is taunting Joe, pretending he’s going to run for the chair, it’s amusing to watch, I decide to stop the music and end this. They both start running for the chair; Joe is quick but Jash trips Joe over and makes it to the chair first.

  “Dude, you cheated.” Joes says laughing.

  “It’s not cheating when there was only one rule, and that’s not to be too close to the chair.” Jash states, before he starts singing about being the champion and Joe being the loser.

  I leave them both to arguing about why Jash is or isn’t a cheater, and go to find Ty. I notice Dex steps out of the back door with a bucket and a wicked smile on his face, he puts his hand in the bucket and pulls out a water balloon. “You wouldn’t dare.” I mutter.

  “Are you quite sure about that?” Dex taunts back to me.

  “Dex?” I say, more as a warning than actual threat, holding my hands out in protection.

  “Ruby?” He mocks back.

  Ah shit, he’s out to get me. I start to back away, but he puts down the bucket full of water bombs and takes a handful of them. Then I remember, Jash had filled up some water guns which I hope he has left down the side of the house near the tap. He throws one and it lands at my feet as I bolt off to find the water guns. I feel another splash at my feet as I round the side of the house; I’m in luck, one of the guns is still there. I make it to the tap and get the gun, but Dex is just standing there, throwing his last balloon in the air, taunting me. “You should give up now,” I say warningly.

  “I still think I can win this,” he says.

  Not waiting another second, I just start squirting him and he comes at me and splats the water balloon on my head, while I’m spluttering under the assault, I’m distracted by the water streaming down my face. He manages to take my water gun and now has me pinned against the wall, soaking wet. Dex’s wet body leans against mine, he is so close I can feel his heart beating into my chest as he leans in and whispers against my lips, “Remind me again why we can only be friends, because right now I want to rip your wet clothes off and fuck you right here against the wall.”

  As much as his words turn me on and I want him to rip my clothes off, I just can’t go there. “I can’t.” I say, pushing him off me. “You said we could just be friends, and that’s all I can do.”

  “I just don’t understand why we can’t fuck, we are both adults. We both don’t want relationships, we have plenty of sexual tension. You know it, and so do I.”

  “Just drop it okay, I promised Ty and that is that, nothing else matters. A fuck isn’t worth ruining my relationship with my brother.” I know he doesn’t get it, but he doesn’t really need to. Ty means everything to me, and I won’t hurt his relationship with his mates, even if I have to sacrifice my needs to do so. All my life I seemed to have a knack for hurting the people in it, without even meaning to. I’m not going to add Ty to that ever growing number.

  “Fuck friends.” He growls in frustration, and the topic is just done, so I walk away. Actually, I speed walk all the way to my room and close the door. I just need a minute away from the party to pull myself together. Why can’t I get past what happened so long ago? I just want to be normal and I want to feel something for someone, instead of hatred and anger. I’m startled by a noise at the door. “Can I come in?” He asks as he peers around the door.

  “No, I think that’s close enough,” knowing every time he is near me, I have this urge to fuck him senseless. My brain advises me to get past it quickly, but I just don’t know if I want to, emotionally.

  “You know, in a different lifetime we would have been so good together, but we are both so screwed up at the moment. So, it looks like we have to be screwed up friends instead of fuck buddies, because, for some insane reason I feel the need to have you in my life. I have never been friends with a female before, besides Sam and my friends’ girlfriends. So, still friends?” He asks, offering a hand shake.

  “Yep, friends.”
I say, shaking his hand in agreement.

  “Can we fuck on it?” He just had to have one last try.

  “Piss off.” I snort in disbelief.

  “Was worth a try, bye friend.” He says, as he walks away from my room.

  Being only friends with Dex has been good; he has backed off and it’s finally nice to be in a comfortable place, I have an awesome group of friends. Ty has convinced me to go to Bells and Rayne’s wedding, I did try to fight it, but he and Dex ganged up on me, so guess who is going. I did make Ty agree to buy me a dress and shoes or I would turn up in jeans, a corset and some chunky heels. Needless to say, I really do hate weddings; all that love and all those chicks crying. I mean, why do people cry anyway? It’s only the same two people who have already said they love each other, showing off and telling their friends and guests they love each other enough to sign a piece of paper. They pay a fortune for a dress and wedding reception, and really it doesn’t make one bit of difference either way, with the divorce rates being between 30-50%, I say, don’t fix what ain’t broke; if you love someone, a piece of paper shouldn’t matter, and certainly won’t make a scrap of difference in the long run.

  The excitement I feel when I walk into work now, with the renovations Big Moe had done completed, and the graffiti Dex has painted on the walls, it’s amazing. He has taken a totally blank canvas and completed a series of fantastic the artworks we offer in the shop. He has a beautifully textured banner flowing at the top, with the shop name embossed in gold and red. The beginning of the canvas is a Mexican highway; dry landscape with a few cacti, and right down the middle is the biggest and sickest black Harley you have ever seen. The female rider has strikingly familiar looks and is dressed very similarly to me, but she has purple steaks in her wickedly cropped hair and has far bigger tits. Standing on the highway is a single and masculine man, smirking (just as Dex does) at the rider. The road disappears into a landscape of tall buildings, with their walls covered in all kinds of street art and graffiti artist’s tags. The last tag is elegant and reminds me of the art work I have seen Joe experimenting with in that big note book he got for his birthday. The final curve stretches over to extend above that little corner area where the instruments were sitting, here he has painted a few deep and mystical drawings with skull, animals & some dark geometric shapes. The final section at the end of the wall is the sickest tribal pattern I have ever seen, which gradually flows into a rock band, with Big Moe playing the drums and Jojo singing into a gold microphone, with the rest of the guys that work here as backup singers. The wall is a rich mixture of black and contrasting coloured styled like the tattoos we offer.