ANGEL_Lords of Carnage MC

by Daphne Loveling

  With a roar, Kane grabs me around the throat with his other hand. My eyes flutter closed as he punches me again across the cheek and begins to choke me. As the blood roars in my ears, I say a silent prayer of thanks and wait to pass out.

  From far away, somewhere deep, deep in my mind, I hear shouts, and loud noises. I want to find out what the sounds are, but my limbs are like lead. The darkness is peaceful; I don’t want to leave it. I sink back down, shutting everything out as I drift back into unconsciousness.

  A sharp bang jolts me awake, and I murmur in protest. Voices call my name. One of them is the voice I want to hear. It’s a dream, it must be a dream. I’m jostled against the cold table, and then I’m being picked up, carried in someone’s arms. It hurts, but I can’t scream or cry anymore. All I can do is try to push the dream away, and melt back into the darkness, hoping it claims me for good.

  26

  Angel

  For the third time as president of the Lords of Carnage, I kill a man in cold blood.

  The first time, it was my own president. The second time, it was to protect my MC.

  This time, it’s to protect the woman I love.

  And to rid this world of a stinking pile of shit who’s trying to create some sort of Nazi fiefdom for himself.

  For the second time as president, I lay waste to a club. The Krow Klan is no more. We destroy Kane and every man guarding him at the meat locker, and dispose of their remains the same way we did the Outlaw Sons. The young kids who aspired to become Krows no longer have a leader. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain: the wizard is no more.

  And for the first time as president — for the first time in my life — I admit to myself that I love someone so much, my life no longer means anything to me unless she’s in it.

  The sight of Jewel lying on the steel table — bloody, bound and half naked — is something I’ll never forget, no matter how many more years I live. When I get to her, she’s delirious, mumbling about death and moaning softly. As gently as I can, I remove the ropes from her bloody wrists and ankles. She doesn’t seem to know who I am, because she groans and tries to pull away.

  “Jewel, baby, It’s me. It’s Angel. You’re safe. Let me take these off,” I murmur huskily. My voice is cracking, but I do my best not to break down. Seeing her like this, it’s a hell like nothing I’ve ever experienced. The coppery scent of her blood hangs in the air; clumps of her long blond hair lie on the metal table beside her head.

  “You’ll never be the man Angel is,” she whimpers as I lift her in my arms. “Never be like him…” She shivers against me as I yell to one of the brothers to find me something to cover her with. It eats me alive to hear her soft cries, to feel her trembling against me. I can only guess — fear — what else Kane has done to her. Someone comes with a blanket. I wrap her body in it and carry her out of the building, toward the van that’s waiting. Outside, I tell Bullet, Hale and Thorn not to leave her for a second. To make sure she’s as comfortable as possible until I get back to her.

  I beat Kane to death with my bare hands. His blood mixes with Jewel’s on my skin. His screams mingle with the memory of her whimpers. Inflicting his pain soothes me. Watching him die is the only thing that cleanses my tortured soul.

  Revenge.

  I leave the other Lords to finish what we started. I hold Jewel in my arms all the way back to Tanner Springs. She stirs sometimes when we go over bumps. I kiss her forehead and tell her it’s gonna be all right.

  When we get to the clubhouse, Smiley’s waiting. He takes one look at her and grabs a needle from his bag.

  “She needs to sleep,” he murmurs. “Poor thing. She’s gonna be in a lot of pain when she wakes up.” He looks at me gravely. “I think maybe we should call Isabel,” he says. “We could use a female with medical knowledge here, for later.”

  The weight of his words hits me.

  “Fuck.” My fists clench at the thought that Jewel might have been raped. I put my head in my hands. “Get her here, Smiley. I can’t leave Jewel. I’m stayin’ with her until she wakes up.”

  We put her in my apartment. Smiley treats the most obvious of her wounds, and then leaves us to go call Isabel. I take Jewel’s clothes off, as carefully as I can. I put her in one of my clean T-shirts, which looks like a dress on her. I find a washcloth in the bathroom, and wipe the blood from her face, neck and arms. Smiley left some ointment for the rope burns on her wrists and ankles, and I put that on her, too.

  Then I pull the covers over her, draw the shades, and sit in the darkness, watching her sleep.

  I don’t move from my chair near the bed. Smiley, Isabel, Beast, and Ghost have all made appearances, coming in to ask in whispered tones how she is. How I am.

  Isabel tells me that most of the Lords and their old ladies are downstairs, waiting for news.

  Jenna brings me a sandwich at some point. I shake my head and she takes it away.

  Finally, Jude comes in. He doesn’t say a word, but comes straight to the foot of the bed. He stands there, staring, his jaw working furiously. Finally, he brings his hands up and wipes his eyes, then turns away, his head hanging low.

  “Tell her I’m sorry,” he whispers as he leaves.

  It’s several hours later when Jewel finally wakes up. She groans, and then lets out a little gasp as she shifts in the bed.

  “Jewel,” I murmur, as softly as I can so I don’t scare her. “It’s me. You’re at the clubhouse. You’re okay, babe.”

  “Angel,” she whimpers. “I’m… it hurts…”

  “I know, baby.” I slide from my chair to sit on the mattress beside her, heart pounding out of my goddamn chest. “You’re hurt, but you’re gonna be okay.”

  She raises a hand gingerly to a tender spot on her head, where the hair has been pulled away. When she touches it, she winces and cries out in alarm.

  “Sshhh… I know. It hurts. Just leave it alone, darlin’. It’ll heal.”

  “What…” For the first time, she opens her eyes and peers at me through the pain. “What happened to Kane?” she whispers.

  “He’s gone.” Even though I’m trying not to scare or alarm her, my voice is cold and hard as steel. “He’s gone for good, babe. You’re safe forever.”

  Jewel closes her eyes and draws a deep, shuddering breath. “I thought I was dead, Angel. He was going to…” Her voice ends in a sob.

  At that moment, my only wish is that I could bring Kane back to life, just so I could kill him all over again.

  I don’t ask Jewel to finish her sentence. I just pray to a god I don’t believe in that she means Kane didn’t get the chance to rape her.

  “Babe,” I say, rising up from the bed, “I’m gonna go get…”

  “NO!” she cries, sitting bolt upright in bed. Her eyes are wild with fright, her swollen, bruised face a mask of terror. “Don’t leave me,” she finishes, her expression pleading. “Not yet.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. I’m not leavin’. I promise.” I sit back down and raise a hand to stroke her forehead gently.

  “How long have I been here?” she murmurs, calmer now.

  “We brought you back a few hours ago. Smiley fixed you up with something to help you sleep. He’s here if you need anything more — more painkillers or something. And, uh, Isabel is here, too. If you…” I swallow. “If you need to talk to a woman about anything.”

  Jewel meets my gaze reluctantly. “He didn’t rape me,” she whispers. “He was going to. And then he was going to…” She squeezes her eyes shut. “He said he was going to cut me up in pieces and send them to you.”

  Jesus Christ. “Baby, holy shit.”

  “I… I spit in his face.” She swallows. “At least, I tried to. He went crazy. At the end, I was trying to make him mad… so he’d get it over with.”

  The pain in the back of my throat makes it hard to swallow. “My brave girl.” I kiss her on the forehead, as softly as I can. “My fuckin’ brave as hell girl.”

  The days that follow mark a sl
ow, painful recovery for Jewel. At first, she stays at the clubhouse, in my apartment. One of the club girls, Melanie, cuts her hair for her, in a short style that mostly camouflages the raw patches until new hair can grow back.

  Eventually, I move her to my place. She doesn’t feel ready to go back to her apartment, even with Jude there. And I don’t blame her. I know she needs time to believe in her heart that she’s safe now, even though she knows Kane is dead. My house has a fuckin’ top of the line security system, so whenever I have to leave her — which isn’t often — I set it for her, and she just sits and watches movies by herself.

  I don’t go very far from home while she’s recovering. Just to the clubhouse from time to time, to take care of business. She has my number plugged into her phone, just in case. I know she’s traumatized, so I give her the time and space to heal, physically and mentally. I don’t touch her, even though having her near me all the time like that is sheer hell. At night, we fall asleep in the same bed, and I stare up at the ceiling and try to calm my raging hard-on while I listen to her breathing softly beside me.

  One day, about two weeks after Jewel moves into my place, I come home from the clubhouse to find she’s made dinner for us. Instead of the oversized shirts and sweat pants she’s been wearing, she’s dressed in jeans and a soft-looking sweater. I think she’s even put some makeup on. She smiles shyly at me when she meets me at the door.

  “I didn’t have much to work with, and I wasn’t quite up to going grocery shopping,” she murmurs. “I hope it’s okay.”

  “Anything you make will be great,” I tell her, fighting the rasp in my throat. Because what I want to say is, You’re finally coming out of your shell, beautiful. You’re finally coming back to me.

  I open a beer for myself, and some red wine for her. We sit down at my kitchen table, where she’s lit a couple of candles, and have a meal that feels so normal and domestic I almost can’t believe it’s even fuckin’ happening. I’ve never sat down to dinner with another person like this, at my table, in my house. Jewel is in good spirits, and she even cracks a couple of jokes once she’s downed her first glass of wine. In her simple oversized sweater and faded jeans, she’s heartbreakingly beautiful in the candlelight.

  It’s a sight I could stare at over dinner for the rest of my life.

  “So,” she eventually says, after we’ve pushed back our chairs and moved over to the couch. “I was thinking maybe I could go back to work in a couple of days. I think I’m ready. It’s about time for me to rejoin the world.”

  “You mean work at the clubhouse?” I ask in surprise.

  “Oh! I mean…” Jewel looks down, reddening. “Unless you’ve replaced me. I know I’ve been gone a while. I shouldn’t have assumed…”

  “No, no,” I shake my head. “We’ve been limping along without you. But I thought you said you wanted to move on?”

  “I guess I did,” she admits. “At first. Now, though… I don’t know. Honestly, I kind of feel like I need friends around me for a while.”

  “Family, you mean.” I reach over and take her hand. “It’s your family, Jewel. We always have been.”

  “Maybe it is, sort of,” she whispers, looking up at me with an embarrassed smile. “I could do a lot worse than the Lords as my family.”

  “Damn straight you could,” I nod. “They’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

  “Yes. I do know it. But…” Jewel hesitates, and then takes a deep breath. “Angel, I’m just going to say this. I don’t know if I can keep being around you, after…” — she waves her other hand between us — “after this.”

  “This?”

  “Yeah.” She bites her lip. “It’s just… I mean, I know… well, I don’t know…” she stammers, then stops and laughs, shaking her head. “I guess I just don’t really know what this is.”

  “You don’t?” I ask, lifting one corner of my mouth. “Well, I do.”

  Jewel raises her eyebrows. “Well, in that case, do you think you could fill me in?” she asks, with just a hint of irritation.

  “This,” I say, reaching out to caress her newly-short hair, “is something I should have done a long time ago.”

  Bending toward her upturned face, I cover Jewel’s mouth with mine and kiss her deeply. When we finally break apart, she’s flushed and breathless. “I’ve wanted you since the day you started working at the clubhouse,” I tell her huskily. “Did you know that?”

  Wordlessly, she shakes her head.

  “I never made a move. Made damn sure no one else did, either. I told myself it was because you were a damn good bartender and I didn’t want the club to lose you. Which is true.” I pull her closer. “But that ain’t the real reason. The real reason was, I didn’t want to lose you.”

  Jewel blinks up at me, her eyes beginning to shine. “You didn’t?”

  “No. To be honest, it drove me crazy to have you around sometimes and not be able to do anything about it. But I don’t have the best track record with women. As you may have noticed.” Jewel lets out a little snort, and I can’t help but chuckle. “I figured I’d rather have you around — even if it meant I had to stay away from you — than start something and fuck it up, and drive you away.” I shake my head. “And that’s pretty much exactly what happened. Turned out, in lockdown, I couldn’t stay away from you. Then afterwards, you started talkin’ about lookin’ for another job.”

  “I didn’t want to leave,” she breathes, her voice catching. “I just thought it was for the best.”

  “But it’s not for the best,” I rasp. “I’ve been in love with you for fuck knows how long, Jewel. I guess it took a lockdown and a near-fuckin’-death situation to show me, but I have been. I’m not losin’ you, darlin’. So you better get used to the fact that you’re stuck with me. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll give notice to your landlord that you’re breakin’ your lease, because you’re movin’ in with me.”

  Jewel’s eyes are shining. She lets out a soft laugh and purses her lips. “Do I get any say in the matter at all?” she teases.

  “No.” I cup a hand behind her head and kiss her again, so she understands I mean business. “You don’t.”

  “Well, I guess that’s settled, then,” she giggles.

  “But as far as working at the clubhouse,” I continue, “I’m sorry to say, you’re fired.”

  Jewel’s eyes fly to mine.

  “What?” she cries, surprise and anger blooming on her face. “Are you serious?”

  “Damn straight I am,” I bark. “You’ve got about three weeks to go until you start your new job. Managing the Smiling Skull.”

  “Are…” Her mouth opens in astonishment. Her lips curve into a slow smile. “Are you serious?” she repeats.

  “I told you I was!” I feign irritation. “The owner’s retiring, and the Lords are buying it. So, you’re gonna have to train your replacement at the clubhouse. You good with that?”

  “Well, I’m not sure,” she muses, tapping a finger against her lower lip. “I mean, we haven’t talked salary, or benefits, or…”

  I cover her mouth with mine again, putting an end to her foolishness. When I’m satisfied I’ve managed to change the subject, I move my lips to the soft skin behind her ear.

  “You drive a hard bargain,” she gasps.

  “That ain’t all that’s hard,” I growl.

  “Oh yeah? Care to elaborate?”

  The challenge in her voice makes my long-neglected cock jump. I pull back for a second to look at her. “That an invitation?”

  “I never thought you needed one,” she says saucily.

  “Well, damn,” I marvel. “Here I was all this time, tryin’ to be a gentleman.”

  She smirks. “Gentlemen are overrated.”

  I reach under her hips and scoop her up. “Get ready to meet my inner caveman, darlin’.” I stand with Jewel in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. She squeals and laughs, and it makes my chest ache to hear her sounding so happy and carefree.<
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  For the first time since Kane kidnapped her, I feel like it’s all behind us now.

  Jewel’s back. She’s come back to me.

  And this time, I’m never letting her go again.

  Epilogue

  JEWEL

  One year later

  “Jewel!” Jude calls out. “Do we have any more bags of ice in the back?”

  “I don’t think so,” I shout back. “I’ll have Angel send one of the prospects out to get some!”

  “Nah, I got it!” He jogs over to me. “We’re only gonna need enough for another hour or so. I’ll run down to the convenience store and grab one more bag, just in case.”

  “Who’s going to man your post?” I ask.

  “Lila says she’s got it,” he shrugs, nodding over at her. “I’ll be back in five minutes, no problem.”

  I suppress a smile at how seriously he’s taking his role today. I can’t help but think about the Jude I knew a year ago. He’d never have agreed to do any of this, much less with so much generosity.

  We’re at the official grand reopening of Twisted Pipes, which actually opened up again two weeks ago. The shop has been rebuilt bigger and better than ever, so Hawk thought it would be a good idea to get former customers and their families back here by doing a big grill out event, complete with face painting and snow cones for the kids.

  Jude has been in charge of the snow cones, so he’s spent the entire afternoon surrounded by clamoring children, doling out paper cones of flavored ice to anyone who wants one. Today’s an unseasonably warm day for early fall, so he’s been pretty busy. It’s strangely sweet to see him being so good with the children. I’ve only glimpsed this side of him a couple of times before, with the Lords of Carnage kids. It’s weird for me to realize that he might make a really good father someday.