Surrendered Hearts

by Carrie Turansky

  “Well, convinced me.” The teasing light in her eyes sent his pulse racing, but he suspected she had no idea what she did to his heart.

  He settled his arm around her shoulder again and ran his fingers through her silky hair. The intoxicating warmth of her nearness filled him with a longing to tell her how beautiful she was to him.

  But he sensed a warning. He and Jenn didn’t share a spiritual connection. They could never build a lasting relationship without that, at least he couldn’t. He shifted his gaze away, trying to focus and straighten out his tangled thoughts.

  “What is it?” she asked, her voice soft as a caress.

  He turned back to her. She watched him with luminous eyes, reflecting a sweet openness he’d longed to see there since the first day they met. The warning faded, and he could no longer remember why he shouldn’t tell her everything in his heart. He leaned closer and gently ran his finger down the side of her face. “Today was great.”

  She looked up at him with a shy smile. “I had a good time, too.”

  He swallowed and wished for the millionth time that he was better at putting his thoughts and feelings into words. “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Since you moved over to Lauren’s, I’ve realized—”

  A loud knock on the passenger window startled them. Bill shifted his gaze as Jen pulled back and turned toward the sound.

  Wes stood outside the truck, a frustrated expression on his face as he signaled for them to roll down the window.

  Jenn leaned over and pushed the button. “Hey, Wes.”

  “Man, I’ve been looking all over for you guys. I was worried. I didn’t know what happened to you.”

  Bill leaned toward Wes. “We decided to watch the fireworks from in here.”

  Wes studied them with a concerned look. “Well next time you want to take off like that, it would be nice to let someone know.”

  “Sorry, Wes.” Jenn pressed her lips together and slid a few more inches away from Bill. “It was pretty loud down there by the lake, so Bill brought me up here.”

  Wes rubbed the back of his neck and looked like there was a lot more he’d like to say. He shifted his gaze to Jenn. “Are you ready to head back to Lauren’s?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at Bill, uncertainty in her eyes.

  “You’ve got a full car. I’ll take her home.” Bill turned the key in the ignition. Before Wes could protest, the truck rumbled to life. He clamped his jaw tightly and tried to ignore the perturbed glance Wes shot over his shoulder as he walked away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bill pulled into the parking lot at the nature center, grabbed his Styrofoam carryout container from the Green Mountain Cafe, and climbed out of the truck. He spotted Wes’s car still parked in the corner under the trees. They usually had lunch together, but not yesterday or today.

  Since the Fourth of July an uncomfortable tension seemed to stretch between them. Bill had left for work early without seeing Wes at home. Wes brought his lunch both days, making Bill suspect he’d planned that so they wouldn’t have to go out to lunch together.

  Bill pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway leading to his office. Avoiding each other like this was crazy. They’d been good friends for over nine years and gone through too much to let a little misunderstanding pull them apart. But for some reason Bill didn’t want to be the first one to bring it up.

  There was no reason for Wes to be mad at him. He and Jenn hadn’t done anything wrong. But the strained silence was getting to him. Maybe it was time to sit down and talk things over with Wes.

  Bill opened his office door and scanned the empty room. No sign of Wes or anyone else. Lowering himself into his desk chair, he opened the takeout box. The aroma of the hot corned beef, sauerkraut, and Swiss cheese made his mouth water.

  As he lifted the warm Ruben sandwich and took a bite, his office door flew open. Matt Jacobson, one of his summer interns, poked his head in. “You’re not going to believe this.”

  Bill quickly swallowed a mouthful of corned beef. “What?”

  “Come on out front. You’ll see.” Matt grinned and disappeared out the door.

  Bill got up and followed him to the front porch. Wes and two other interns, Mandy and Troy, stood in a circle peering into a cardboard box. Matt joined them.

  Bill crossed the porch. “What is it?”

  Wes stood back, making room for Bill. “Take a look.”

  Bill glanced into the box. Three small tan puppies slept in a pile surrounded by an old brown blanket. “Wow, where’d they come from?” Bill knelt down to take a closer look.

  Wes squatted next to him. “We don’t know. I just found them out here a few minutes ago.”

  Bill ran his hand over the head of one of the sleepy puppies. “Look like Golden retrievers or Labradors. Probably mixed. I don’t think they would’ve been abandoned if they were purebred.”

  Troy frowned. “So why’d somebody leave them here?”

  “I guess they know we love animals, and they’re hoping we’ll find homes for them,” Wes said.

  Bill rubbed his chin. How was he going to manage that?

  “My brother might take one.” Matt slipped his hands in his pants pockets. “They lost a dog about three months ago, and they’re talking about getting another one. I could give him a call.”

  Bill nodded. “That would be great, Matt.”

  “I’d love to have one.” Mandy leaned down and picked up the smallest puppy. “I don’t know if my landlord will let me have a dog, but I can ask.”

  The little puppy yawned and snuggled into Mandy’s neck. Bill chuckled. They’d make great pets for someone who had the time and patience to care for them. Surely, there was someone who needed the love and companionship a dog could bring.

  An idea popped into his head, and his smile spread wider. Maybe he could find an owner for the third puppy without too much trouble at all.

  * * * *

  Jenn clipped off a wilted geranium bloom and dropped it into the bucket at her feet. She slowly twirled the pot to be sure she’d found all the dried blossoms, then hung it back up on the hook above the porch rail. Sunshine sparkled through the tall trees, and a gentle breeze lifted the hair off her neck. She took down the next pot and checked the flowers.

  Business had been slow in the gallery this afternoon, so she had volunteered to work outdoors. She’d spent the last hour weeding and watering the flowerbeds around Tilley’s back porch. It felt good, working with the sun on her back and the warm dirt in her hands. Jenn glanced down at the neat, weed-free flowerbeds and smiled. Bright marigolds and petunias surrounded the roses and white hydrangeas. Tilley would be pleased.

  A warm sense of contentment filled her as she dumped the clippings on the compost pile and walked over to turn on the hose. She rinsed her hands, enjoying the feeling of the warm water changing to cool as it poured over her fingers. Leaning down, she slurped a quick drink and then pulled the hose over to water the hanging pots.

  A black truck pulled into the long drive. Recognition zinged along Jenn’s nerves, and her heartbeat quickened. She hadn’t seen Bill for two days, since they’d been together on the Fourth of July, but he’d never been far from her thoughts. The memory of watching the fireworks with him in the privacy of his truck replayed through her mind and warmed her cheeks. She wasn’t sure what he might have said if her brother hadn’t interrupted them, but guessing sent her heart on a wild ride.

  The truck rolled to a stop, and Bill climbed out. He looked tan and handsome in a light blue knit shirt with Wild River Nature Center stitched above the pocket. She pulled in a calming breath and waved to him.

  Bill grinned and closed his door. “You look like you’re working hard.”

  “I am.” She returned his smile, shut off the hose, and walked over to meet him. “So, what brings you out our way?”

  His eyes glowed as he smiled at her. “I’ve got something to show you.” He walked around to the
passenger side of the truck and opened the door.

  Jenn followed him, curiosity prickling through her. “What is it?”

  “Take a look.” Bill lifted out a medium-sized cardboard box and lowered it to the ground at her feet.

  She leaned over the box and gasped. A darling little puppy with sandy-gold hair cocked his head and looked up at her. “Oh my goodness. Look at him! He’s beautiful.”

  “Well, he is a she.” Bill chuckled. “But you’re right. She’s pretty.”

  “Can I pick her up?”

  “Sure.” He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, watching her with a pleased smile.

  Jenn lifted the puppy out of the box and cradled her in her arms. She was soft and warm and full of life. Memories of Beau flooded back as the puppy wiggled up close and licked Jenn’s cheek. “She’s adorable.”

  “Let’s take her over on the grass so she can explore a little.”

  Out front, tall maple trees shaded the lush green lawn. Jenn set the puppy down and watched her sniff the grass. “Where’d you get her?”

  A frown creased Bill’s forehead. “Someone abandoned her and two other puppies at the nature center.”

  “They just dropped them off?”

  “Yeah. We found them on the front porch this afternoon.”

  Jenn watched the puppy bite a small stick and drag it a few feet across the grass. “So are you going to keep her?” she asked, her voice soft and wistful.

  Bill rubbed his chin. “Well, I know how much you miss Beau, so I thought you might like to have her.”

  Jenn gasped. “Really? Oh, Bill.” She reached for him and gave him a hug. His arms encircled her, pulling her closer. She nestled against his chest and closed her eyes as a thousand happy thoughts danced through her heart.

  But a question rose and tempered her joy. She stepped back and looked up at him. “I wonder if Tilley and Lauren will mind?” She glanced at the puppy again, longing growing in her heart.

  Bill tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I already talked to Tilley. I didn’t want to bring the puppy over and get your hopes up if she wasn’t open to it.”

  Jenn’s eyes widened. “She said yes?”

  Grinning, he nodded.

  She squealed and hugged him again, wishing she could explain how much this meant. Maybe there was a way she could show him. Pushing away her doubts, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Bill. This is just the best—”

  The screen door squeaked open behind her. Bill looked up, and Jenn felt him tense. She turned and saw her brother standing on the porch. Questions clouded his eyes as he surveyed them.

  Bill dropped his arms and took a step back. His expression sobered as he met Wes’s gaze.

  Apprehension rippled through Jenn as she looked first at Wes and then Bill.

  “Dinner’s ready.” Wes let the screen door close behind him.

  “Look at the puppy Bill brought me.” Jenn bent down and picked her up. “Isn’t she sweet?”

  Wes’s expression eased as he shifted his gaze to the dog. “Yeah, she’s real nice.” But his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

  “It’s okay,” Jenn said. “Bill already talked to Tilley. She said I could keep her.” She waited, hoping Wes would say something to explain his sober mood, but he turned and walked back inside.

  When the screen door banged closed, she turned to Bill. “What’s the matter with Wes?”

  Bill squinted toward the door. “I’m not sure.” But the troubled look in his eyes made her wonder if he knew more than he was saying.

  * * * *

  Bill sat on his bed and flipped on his laptop. Maybe he would catch up on email or work on his Bible study. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Wes tonight. That’s why he’d headed into his room as soon as he heard Wes’s car pull in the driveway a few minutes earlier.

  A knock sounded at his bedroom door. Before Bill could answer, the door opened.

  “Got a minute?” A muscle flicked in Wes’s jaw as he waited for Bill’s answer.

  “Sure. Come on in.” Bill closed his laptop and braced himself for the conflict that seemed to be brewing.

  Wes stepped in and faced him. “I need to know what’s going on with you and Jenn.”

  Bill’s shoulders tensed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean . . . seeing you two together in your truck the night of the fourth and then today at Lauren’s makes it look like things have moved way past friendship.”

  Bill huffed and set his computer aside.

  Wes walked over and stood at the end of the bed. “You may think I’m out of line, but I don’t want her to get hurt.”

  “I’d never hurt Jenn. You know me better than that.”

  “I thought I did, but I’m not so sure now.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who said we need to take care of her, spend time with her, win her over. That was our plan.”

  “So that’s what you’re doing?” Wes’s question cut straight to Bill’s heart.

  “Well, that’s the way it started. Now, I’m not so sure.”

  “Man, I should’ve considered where this could go when I convinced you to let her stay here.”

  “Yeah, well I guess neither one of us thought that through very well.” Bill sank back on his pillows with a heavy sigh.

  “Did you know she was engaged before she came up here?”

  “Yeah, she told me.” Bill narrowed his eye. “It’s a good thing that jerk lives on the other side of the country.”

  Wes frowned. “What do you mean?”

  Why hadn’t Jenn told her brother how Phillip had treated her? “He came to the hospital the night of the fire, but when he saw her burns, he walked out on her, and she hasn’t seen him since.”

  Wes sighed rubbed his eyes. “No wonder she doesn’t want to talk about it.”

  Bill nodded, wishing there was something he could to make up for all those painful experiences. It didn’t seem right that one person had to deal with so many losses and betrayals.

  Wes sat on the end of the bed. “Look, I understand why you’re attracted to Jenn. She’s really special. But she’s not committed to the Lord, and you know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Bill’s stomach ached like he’d swallowed a heavy rock. “I’ve been praying for her and looking for a chance to talk to her about it.”

  “And?” A hopeful light flickered in Wes’s eyes.

  “So far it hasn’t happened.” Bill clenched his jaw and stared at the ceiling. How had things gotten so mixed up? He’d started out with good intention and pure motives. He was going to help her rediscover her faith and overcome the pain of her past. But somewhere along the line, his growing feelings had sent him down a selfish path, pursuing Jenn without really thinking about what was right or best for her.

  He laid his arm over his eyes. “I can’t believe it. She’s been here almost six weeks, and I have no idea if she’s one inch closer to the Lord.”

  Wes scooted back and leaned against the wall. “Lauren said she’s had some good conversations with her. She gave her a Bible the other night.” Wes squinted toward the window, pain etched on his face. “But Jenn blames God for our parents’ death.”

  “Yeah, she told me the same thing, said she prayed her heart out, but they died anyway. She thinks that proves God doesn’t care about her or answer prayer.” It hurt Bill to repeat it, but it was important for Wes to understand. How else could he help his sister?

  Wes sighed. “There’s got to be some way to get through to her.”

  How could they help Jenn see the truth? Bill’s mind went blank as he searched for an answer. What if she never made a commitment to the Lord? What would happen then? That thought squeezed the air from his chest. He fought it off and pulled in a deep breath. “She’ll come around. I know she will.”

  “Well . . . until she does, you need to back off.”

  Bill stiffened. “What?”

  “You’re goin
g to break her heart if you keep leading her on. That could push her farther away from God and close the door for good.”

  Heat flashed up his neck and into his face. “I’m not leading her on. I care about her.”

  “I know you do . . . but you’ve got to wait. Give God time to work without the distractions of a relationship getting in the way.”

  Bill sat up, a debate raging in his heart. “It’ll hurt her more if I just drop out of her life. She’s not going to understand.”

  “You don’t have to ignore her, just stop pursuing her. Take a step back, treat her like a sister.”

  Bill grimaced. How was he going to do that? Every time she was near he felt like some huge magnet drew them together. It wouldn’t work. He’d have to leave the state if he was going to stay away from Jennifer Evans.

  Wes clamped his hand on Bill’s shoulder. “I know this is hard. But you’ve got to think of what’s best for Jenn.”

  Everything in him told him Wes was wrong. He had to be. Jenn needed him.

  But a quiet voice confirmed the truth. Let her go. Trust me. That’s what love would do.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jen slipped the periwinkle-blue bridesmaid dress over her head and let it slide down past her shoulders. The satin felt smooth and cool against her skin. She adjusted the straps and turned to face the fitting room mirror.

  Her eyes widened, and a small gasp escaped her mouth. The dress looked beautiful, more beautiful than any costume she’d worn on stage at the dinner theater. The beaded bodice and A-line style accentuated her slim figure and made her feel feminine and elegant.

  Her smile faded as her gaze moved to her right arm and shoulder where the mottled and twisted scars spread across her exposed skin.

  The scene at the Fourth of July picnic replayed through her mind, tightening her stomach into a hard knot. One glance at her scars and Toby had drawn back in horror. And what he’d seen was nothing compared to the scars on her shoulder where doctors had used a skin graft to repair the third degree burns.

  She forced her gaze away and reached behind her for the zipper. After pulling it up only a few inches, pain shot through her shoulder. She dropped her hands in defeat.