If I Return

by Bennett, Sawyer

  “You’re just so beautiful,” he says reverently. “With your hair all splayed out in the snow... your cheeks and nose red from the cold. Fuck the snow angels... I just want to get to the kissing part.”

  He doesn’t wait for me to respond but stretches his body out on top of me and starts to kiss me. His tongue immediately slides into my mouth, warmly stroking every part of me. My arms come up and wrap around his neck, and I return his kiss with abandon.

  We lie in the snow... for what seems like forever, yet I don’t feel the cold one bit. On the contrary, my blood is flowing so hotly through my veins, I feel like I could strip all of my clothes off right now and I would never be cold again. I luxuriate in the feel of Jack... his lips, which are so very soft, and his tongue, which is so very bold. The way his hard body presses me down into the snow yet his hands gently hold my head.

  When he finally lifts his head, I’m struck dumb by the look on his face. He’s gazing at me as if I’m the most wondrous thing he’s ever seen... like I’m a miracle. And I know that can’t be true. I’m just good ol’ Hope Camden.

  He stands up abruptly and pulls me up. “Come on... you’ll catch a cold if we stay out here like this much longer.”

  Jack and I run back to the Inn and, by the time we step inside, my teeth are chattering. He pulls me up to the large fire that’s roaring in The Great Hall and we take a few minutes to knock the chill off.

  While our backsides are getting toasty, he says, “Did you check with your sister to see if you could have dinner with me tonight?”

  I stick my butt out a little closer to the fire, because my jeans are soaked through. “Yup. She’s given me absolute authority to ditch her all week to spend time with you.”

  My face heats up as I realize I may be overstepping my bounds. I quickly amend, “Not that you’d want to spend all week with me. I’m not assuming... I mean... if you want... Oh shit, I’ll shut up now.”

  Jack’s eyes are shining with amusement. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

  “I think I preferred it when you called me beautiful out in the snow,” I mutter.

  He throws his head back and lets out a bark of laughter. Taking my hand, he starts walking out of The Great Hall. “You’re cute and beautiful and I would love to spend the rest of the week with you. Let’s make the most of it, okay?”

  “Sure. Sounds like a plan.” I try to sound nonchalant but my insides are flipping around in excitement.

  We head down a side corridor that branches out into one of the side wings. I haven’t been down this way so I look at the old pictures hanging on the walls. Most are of the Inn during the various stages of its construction. The corridor also has various shops where you can buy everything from Christmas ornaments to artwork to jewelry. I make a note to myself to come back down here and browse before I leave because I’m a mad window shopper.

  Jack makes a quick left and we enter into the Inn’s main gift shop. It’s stocked with the requisite supply of Montgrove Inn sweatshirts, coffee cups, and snow globes. I see a gorgeous, framed painting of the Inn and I wonder briefly about buying it for my parents. Jack is still holding my hand, so I follow blindly along, glancing left and right at the wares for sale.

  Walking up to the counter, he throws a warm smile at the matronly woman standing behind it. Her hair is silver white and pulled back into a bun. She’s wearing a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and I can smell her White Diamonds perfume.

  “Can I help you?” she says, returning Jack’s warm smile.

  “I’m sure you can.” He releases my hand and rests his forearms on the counter, leaning in a bit closer to her. His eyes flick to her nametag. “Mary... I was wondering if you could hand me that box of condoms you have for sale there... right behind you.”

  Mary’s face goes beet red, but I guarantee you mine is redder. I’ve never bought condoms before and I can’t believe I find it so embarrassing. Glancing at Jack, he seems to be enjoying himself though.

  In the spirit of true professionalism, Mary asks, “Do you want the large box or the small?”

  Jack turns to me. “What do you think? Large... right?”

  I swear I could almost expire right there from mortal embarrassment. Die. Keel over... whatever. I wish I were in death’s cold grave rather than standing here under Jack’s sexy glance as he so openly talks about having sex with me to a woman that could be my grandmother.

  All I can do is nod, refusing even to look at the sales lady.

  “We’ll take the large box,” he says.

  I stare at my boots while Jack pays for the rubbers. Then he has my hand again and off we go. He doesn’t say anything until we reach the elevators. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there. I was teasing you to get a pretty blush but you went the color of a fire engine.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “It’s okay. You just caught me off guard. This is all new territory for me.”

  “You’ve never bought condoms before?”

  I shake my head and glance at him. “You’re only the second man I’ve ever been with. James... the other... he always handled that.”

  He looks at me with wonderment. “Seriously?”

  I don’t respond but just nod my head, and then glance back down at my boots. His hand comes up under my chin and he forces me to look at him. “This deserves a more serious conversation, but I want to wait until I have you in a hot bath first. Okay?”

  My eyes widen, because his voice tells me that my admission has intrigued him greatly. I’m also a mass of nerves over getting into a bathtub with Jack. Last night was surreal... there was some alcohol involved, and it was dark and late at night. I’m suddenly very shy about being around Jack in a sexual situation in the bright light of day.

  The elevator doors open and he pushes the button to my floor. “I want you to go to your room and pack up enough stuff for you to stay the night with me. Well... for that matter, pack up all your stuff.”

  “All my stuff?”

  “As long as we’re not doing something in conjunction with the wedding functions, I want you attached to my hip. I don’t want you having to run off to go take a shower. In fact, I want you in the shower with me and I don’t think we can do that while you room with your sister.”

  “But...” I start to protest but I’m cut off with the searing kiss he lays on me.

  “No buts. We said we were going to make the most of our time together and you said your sister didn’t mind if you ditched her.” The elevator doors open onto my floor. “Now shake a leg and I’ll help you carry it to my room.”

  “No need,” I tell him. “I only have one bag and it rolls. I’ll meet you back in your room in about ten minutes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I nod and then I’m completely bowled over when he wraps his arms around me, placing his lips to my ear. “Okay. I’m going to go run a bath and then I’m going to wash and touch every inch of your body when I get you in it. Think you can handle that?”

  I just nod again, my ability to make intelligent words having been severely impeded.

  He whispers in my ear, “You won’t regret it, baby.”

  Placing a kiss to my temple, he steps back in the elevators and I watch as the doors close on him.

  Jack helps me out of the bathtub. He takes a towel and slings it around his narrow hips, water still glistening across his body. I have the sudden and insane urge to lick him dry.

  The bath was not what I imagined and was unlike any other bath I’ve had. I had envisioned we would make mad, passionate love in there... sloshing water all over the place. Instead, he carefully stripped me of my clothes and held my hand while I stepped in. After I was seated, he undressed in front of me and I had to concentrate so my tongue wouldn’t fall out as he revealed his glorious body to me. Then he stepped in and sat at the opposite end.

  We did nothing more than talk while we soaked in the steamy bubbles. Jack massaged my feet while he asked me about my past experience with men, based on the revela
tion I had made to him.

  “I’m stunned you’ve only been with one man before me,” he had said, while digging his thumb deliciously into the arch of my foot.

  I leaned my head back and had to stifle a groan.

  “Who was the other one?” he asked.

  “My boyfriend in college. We broke up right after graduation.”

  He’s silent for a minute. “Why me?”

  “You can sort of blame my sister. She has this idea that I’m too serious all the time and that I need to live my life a little more on the wild side. She suggested I have a fling with you.”

  Jack chuckles as he picks up my other foot. “So I was targeted, huh?”

  “By Audrey? Absolutely. By me? No. I wasn’t going to have any part of her suggestion but something just came over me in that elevator. I all of a sudden wanted to do something daring... to let loose a bit.”

  I was hoping Jack wouldn’t be mad, thinking that I was just using him. But the look on his face was one of amusement. “Well, I’m fucking thrilled you made a move on me. I had been fantasizing about you since you stumbled into my arms that day.”

  “Fantasizing?” I asked, my voice full of wonder and hope that what he was saying could really be true.

  “Yeah... I mean... didn’t you feel it when we touched each other? I swear a zap of electricity went through me. And when you moved toward me in the elevator, I knew I’d hit the fucking lottery with you.”

  “Are you sure you don’t think less of me for coming onto you?”

  He shook his head and then pulled on my legs so I slid toward him. He picked me up and set me on his lap, the hard evidence of his arousal digging into me. “Of course I don’t think less of you. If anything, I respect the fact that you tried to step out of your comfort zone. I’m just glad it was with me and not some random douchebag.”

  Jack then kissed me while roaming his soapy hands all over my body. I was squirming in his lap, ignited into a frenzy of lust by his touches. Just when I thought he might pick me up and carry me out of the bath, he shocked me silly when he asked, “I want to do something to you... Will you let me?”

  My insides cramped up with hot pleasure at his question, while a shot of fear swept through me. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I’d like to shave your legs for you.”

  My left eyebrow quirks at him. “I just shaved this morning.”

  He presses on, sliding his hands upward from my ankle to my hip. “I know. I can feel. I’m not asking in a kinky, this-is-how-I-get-my-rocks-off way. I just want to care for your body. It is, after all, a most beautiful body. And that’s an intimate act. Just as if you wanted to shave me, which you can if you want.”

  I hesitantly said okay and his eyes gleamed dark over my acquiescence.

  I will have to admit, Jack shaving my legs was beyond exhilarating. There was something so sensual, so deeply intimate about what he was doing. He concentrated fiercely, afraid he would cut me. His hands gently smoothed over my skin after every stroke of the blade to make sure he got all the spots. He even asked me to stand up from the tub and face him so he could shave my bikini line. His big hand covered my curls, pulling my skin taught so he could get a good swipe. I almost started hyperventilating while he did that—it was so sweetly erotic.

  Now Jack faces me in front of the large mirror over the vanity and carefully proceeds to dry my body. He pats and smoothes the soft towel everywhere, even giving me a soft rub between my legs, which has my lungs practically exploding.

  When he finishes my backside, he drops the towel to the floor and just stands behind me. His head easily comes above mine and he stares at me in the mirror.

  “I wonder if I got you completely dry,” he says softly.

  Stepping in so his body is pressed up against mine, he winds one arm around my waist. He brings his other hand around and moves it down between my legs. Carefully, he moves his finger to my entrance and it slides easily in, while his palm grinds against me.

  “Fuck,” he hisses. “I didn’t do a very good job... you’re wet down here.”

  The move nearly undoes me. My knees actually give way and I sag, my head slamming back onto his shoulder. He holds me up by the hand that’s cupped against me and my weight pushes his finger in farther. My eyes screw tightly shut so I can revel in this experience.

  “Uh-uh,” Jack chides. “Watch me... in the mirror.”

  My eyes open back up and I’m assaulted by the image of our bodies together. His skin is tanned golden against my paleness. His hand is stuck firmly between my legs, moving erotically against me. I glance up and his eyes are watching me carefully.

  “That’s hot, right?” he murmurs.

  “Yes,” I whisper but then I boldly tell him, “I want more.”

  Jack issues a moan of appreciation over my words and slowly removes his hand. He pushes me a few steps forward until my pelvis comes to rest against the vanity, his chest mashed up against the back of me. He does nothing more than bend his body forward, which causes mine to bend under the force as well. When my breasts are mashed into the cold, granite surface, Jack pulls back. I start to turn to see what he’s doing but he places a hand in the middle of my back and keeps me still.

  “Don’t move. And now you can close your eyes.”

  I take a quick peek up in the mirror and see that Jack is gazing at my ass, his eyes fogged with desire. I study him for just a moment, locking the image in my memory, then I do as he asked, and lower my lids.

  Jack takes his hands and smoothes them up and down my back. When he reaches my butt, he squeezes the flesh briefly before moving down my legs. He does nothing more but softly move his palms over my skin... caressing up the outside of my legs, and then moving inward to start a slow descent down to my ankles. I assume he’s kneeling but I’m keeping my eyes close as he asks, content to let my imagination show me what it wants to.

  He leans in and his breath is hot against my skin. My muscles jump when he licks the area where the top of my thigh meets the bottom of my butt cheek. His tongue is wet and hot, and I cannot help the whimper that escapes my lips.

  Jack’s hands come back into play, and he pushes my legs further apart. Then he spreads me open with his fingers and his warm mouth takes me from behind.

  “Jack,” I moan, and I’m thankful that I’m lying over the counter because I would have fallen without its support.

  He doesn’t acknowledge me but uses his fingers and his tongue to bring me to the brink of release. When he can feel my insides starting to tighten, he gently pulls away and I cannot help the groan of frustration that comes out.

  “Just hold tight, baby.” I can hear him chuckling softly but I keep my eyes firmly shut.

  I can hear him wrestling with the condom box, followed by the tear of the foil. A few agonizingly long moments later, and Jack is standing behind me again. His hands come to my hips and he flexes forward so I can feel him rubbing against me.

  “Open your eyes, Hope.”

  I do and look at him in the mirror. He has a lazy grin on his face and he meets my gaze. “Have you ever done it this way before?”

  Words fail me; I’m so keenly aware of what he’s getting ready to do so I just shake my head. “Good. I’m glad I’ll be your first in this.”

  I’m almost hypnotized as he reaches up and winds my hair around his hand. He tugs just a bit and it causes my head and upper body to lift up slightly from the vanity. Jack takes his other hand and grabs a hold of himself. He bends his knees slightly to position, and then he’s pushing into me.

  I’m so ready—he slides in easily and the sensation is decadently filling. He sucks air in through his teeth and I see he has an almost painful grimace on his face. His eyes catch mine and his face smoothes out. “Sorry... but that just feels so fucking good. I hope I can control myself.”

  His words cause my body to shudder. His free hand comes to my hip while the other holds me by my hair. Jack holds me in place as he pulls out and then pushes back in. Sl
owly at first, but then he builds up steam and power. His thrusts become deliberate and push against something inside of me that has my orgasm starting to fire up again.

  I have no control over my words and they slip out of my mouth unbidden. “Harder, Jack.”

  His eyes fill with surprise. “Are you sure?”

  “God, yes... I’m sure. Please.”

  He quickly lets go of my hair and now both hands are gripping my hips. He starts moving inside of me faster, his pelvis and thighs slapping against my backside. The pleasure is immense and I want to close my eyes against it, but I take one last peek at Jack. His own eyes are closed and he has his bottom lip stuck between his teeth. A bead of sweat trickles down his temple and I know he’s lost in the throes of some unbelievably hot sex.

  I push back against him just as he starts a new thrust inside of me and our bodies collide almost violently. The move causes his eyes to fly back open and pin me with a feral look in the mirror. Then he gives me a wicked grin before bringing one hand around to my front to rub against me. I immediately break apart, my body racked with spasms of undiluted gratification. Jack pumps in me a few more times and then goes absolutely still while he holds my gaze in the mirror. The corded muscles in his neck stand out starkly as he orgasms so hard his entire body shudders but he never breaks eye contact with me. His breath comes out loudly and I can feel it glide across my back.

  When our bodies finally quiet, Jack leans over and kisses me in the middle of my spine.

  “Oh, Hope,” he says reverently. “What have you done to me?”

  “Get the fuck out of town? He shaved your legs?”

  My face burns red and I nod my head. I cannot believe I just told that to Audrey. I never thought I’d be the one to share details like that with her, but she keeps pumping me for information and I’m apparently weak willed. Besides, I have nothing to compare this to so I don’t know if I’m getting standard treatment from Jack or this is something insanely outside the box.