The Invisible Papers

by Agostino Scafidi

  Is one supposed to feel guilty over every bite of food he or she puts in their mouth? Should he or she measure up to some asinine standard of health created by your silly little mind or some media driven special interest group’s agenda? Who do you think you are sticking your two cents in about what he or she puts in their mouth? Laugh it up, go ahead. They’re not afraid of self-deprecation but they will not stand for your input or judgement on their food habits.

  My goodness! Does one really need to live the way you tell them to? More so, who are these requirements in place to satisfy? It certainly doesn’t jive with what one is yearning for! In any case the older one gets the less they’re fazed by such demeaning attacks against his or her lifestyle, it’s really no sweat off their brow!

  Why has one been handed the burden of procreation? Is he or she not a free person? Is one obliged to perform with a chosen partner deemed fit by a supposed superior or authority figure? What if they have absolutely no attraction to each other? Apparently his or her tastes and preferences are irrelevant! Who do you think you are? Do you really expect them not to respond to your provocations? Do you see he or she as a weakling walking around the city with their head down gladly avoiding confrontation whenever it pops up? Not at all! One will kick you to the curb! One won’t stand for your black cloud and will make sure you remember it. Just try it and you’ll see.

  Never mind if you don’t have time he or she will just use their money instead. Sorry to bother you and your precious sanity. Maybe if you could squeeze it in and find the energy to remember, he or she will be glad to accept their owed return in a month or two or three, whenever you please.

  Are you offended when one takes their shirt off? Do you not recognize a warrior when you see one? What exactly is your problem? Do you think one gives a heartbeat about your judgements passed? Let them introduce you to the jewels of their vocabulary and if that fails, their fists. He or she will fight to the death Sir, can you handle it?

  The colours are designed to let us see exactly what it is you really think of him or her and in turn saves everyone involved a lot of time! We have neither the time nor the interest to make even the slightest acquaintance with a coward or a wimp. Where is your gumption Sir? Can you sum up the pain you’ve experienced all into a single word? Why should we believe that word? Show them proof! Here is proof, in one’s colours and in their scars.

  The next time you rush them to finish eating he or she will smash their plate over your head. Who do you think you are? Is one supposed to eat as fast as you do? Are you King? Why don’t you exercise a little more patience and self-consciousness?

  So are you going to give him or her the money now or will they have to come chasing for it tomorrow at the absolute second before it’s needed? Is that how you honour your agreements? Do you think anyone appreciates this? What kind of reputation are you trying to uphold? You drive them crazy. One never knows if they’ll get what they need from you. The funny thing is he or she can’t remember when you ever let them down. See that’s the funny thing because you always do come through even if it is down to the wire. Nevertheless you always instil a doubt in us every single time!

  Who do you think you are judging him or her that way? You think you’re so much better than they. You cite blatant fabrications along with a claim to independence meanwhile you live with your cousin and you can’t cook! Give us a break, you sit at a phone all day and stand above them on a platform touting career accomplishments. Listen, it’s obvious you need someone who makes more money than you do and lives more comfortably than you do so you can cash in your ticket and upgrade to the life you can’t have but dream about every minute of the day! Find yourself that cash cow or that golden ticket. Enjoy the material fruit from the tree that lacks roots, from the tree without substance and filled with termites to the brim. Termites of superficiality, termites of spiritless life, termites slow eating.

  It’s funny how sometimes you can fall for an assessment, drape it over your eyes like spectacles as easy as a snap of the finger but one knows better and has learned better. You could point out to him or her how the only partners they can get are the ones that are “used up” or outcast. It’s funny how you consider that to be an assessment with merit while being unaware of the light it casts upon yourself. You’ve shown everyone your true colours and they are green and gold.

  They could go around professing their revelations to everybody they know but who would care? It has nothing to do with anyone caring really, he or she is sure it would be an interesting piece of nonsense to quote to their friends on their social media outlet of choice. Let’s all have fun and protest against materialism while sipping on a five dollar cup of coffee the size of a who knows what? Something big though. If you need that much caffeine to get through the day you’ve got a few problems, the main thing being other than your addiction to caffeine.

  Give them the outcasts and give them the rejects. Hail to the ones with the courage to stand alone. Cheers to the imperfect ones! Here’s to living according to your own rules from your own vision and with your own flag. Let those materialists seek what they seek and attain what they wish but never emerge from it again. That shall be a lesson to them! He or she hopes they die after discovering how truly poor they are inside without any chance to rectify. Poor of soul and poor in spirit.

  They can say you’re a prude no matter what your gender! You say something half-baked and hide behind as much facade as you can muster then you push one away because they call you on it. At least he or she can speak the truth to you, tell you that you’re a monster. Do you have the gall to do that? You’ve already proven you haven’t! Who do you think you are to judge one on the way they live? Why don’t you go back to your palace since you seem to have taken a tumble and found yourself in the presence of vermin and a stale environment?

  Chapter 5

  Hey can he or she ask you a question please? Try not to get offended. What is your problem?

  Every moment of rage in a day gets transferred to the page. How therapeutic is that? Oh don’t confuse these words with confessions, secret messages or passive aggressive communiqués. They are here to illuminate and serve up scrumptious morsels for you to enjoy. It’s all about the phrasing, the sentences, the paragraphs and that “je ne sais quoi" we are all chasing every day of our miserable little lives!

  Let one inject a little clarification here; rage is not the sole source. No, definitely not, granted it is part of it but not even close to being dominant. Inspiration purely from love and the wonder of life is another important part of it although some may consider it cliché. Any old thing that pops into their head is fair game as well.

  What’s the matter, did you not like the selection? Why didn’t you make a choice when presented with the opportunity? Oh you wanted to see what everyone else wanted first? Well that wasn’t the question posed, that wasn’t in the cards. One wasn’t even made aware of such an option. All he or she knows is they were asked to choose and they indeed made a choice. How did he or she come up with this choice you ask? Well one doesn’t know, were they supposed to consult a committee of egoists first? Were they supposed to run off for a half hour and research it before responding or were they supposed to omnisciently know this question would arise and arrive prepared for it? Wait! Most importantly yes, he or she believes this is the zinger, were they supposed to ask what you wanted to hear? Yes they think that’s it, you just wanted to be in control yet again.

  Yes it was very good, he or she tasted it and assured you however they just don’t like fruit in their food. Yes you may be confused or surprised, it’s understandable. Yet the fact remains that he or she dislikes tasting fruit when mixed into the contents of any particular dish slated for the “meal” category. One barely eats the bitter excuse passed for fruit nowadays anyway! It is possible that after a meal one will savour some strawberries or the like, they do admittedly compliment a meal nicely. Also, when fused with a dessert of some sort he or she can then enjoy fruit. No way would the
y resort to fruit as a meal in itself or to hold them over until the next meal unless there were absolutely nothing else to satisfy their raging hunger with. Does anyone realize they’re simply eating sugar with a few sparse vitamins? One would vehemently rather eat a steak or something of the sort so very much more satisfying.

  Here they are. Another day, another night, another fight, it’s always true. Another kiss, another dream, another death, it’s all for you. This, that and the other thing. All they need to do is forget. It’s easy as pie, just forget. Do they have any idea how angry they’ve made him or her? How angry they’ve made everyone around them? Do they think this is all a joke?

  The slightest little setback or glitch in the works simply drive one mad! A temper can be as short as the shortest thing in existence. The shortest thing imaginable, never mind a fuse! Shorter than that, much shorter! Whatever you can possibly think up, that’s it. No, even smaller than that!

  Can you believe the world today? What is one to do? Especially with all this pressure to look like some fancy-pants overachiever. It makes the rest of us normal folk just feel bad! We’ve got good things to offer too “y’know”! One guesses since our vessels, our packages and the wrapping around ourselves isn’t the sharpest or the trimmest then we simply aren’t worth it. Not worth anything at all.

  When you hold evil in your hand and smile upon it you have become intoxicated. This will fade, all intoxicants fade eventually. Nevertheless while intoxicated anyone can do drastic stupefying things as if they were invincible. They tend to act quickly lest they sober up and their plans are thwarted by time and metabolic breakdown.

  Sadism makes for the best screenplays, stories, tales and theatre. It grips the one spectating. The only way to create the best villains!

  Soups! Soups are always the exception to every rule.

  When one looks around and thinks about whether he or she wants to bring a child into this sick world they think exactly that; why would he or she want to bring a child into this sick world? This world is very sick. All one wants to do is mind his or her own business, stick to as much truth and good as one possibly can and make a quick exit out of this pathetic plane of existence. Now this view may be rash and admittedly this existence isn’t always pathetic but this world is a twisted world and one shouldn't willingly subject any creature to live a life in it. If you’re already alive then fine, play the hand you’ve been dealt however one shouldn’t be so arrogant to believe that their spawn will save the world or even make it a better place. Sure their offspring could make the world a better place for some and maybe even for many but the world will still have so much evil in it. Is it all really worth it? If one had the choice to go back from whence he or she came then would they say their goodbyes and go? Regardless, he or she stands here and makes the best of it according to their view since that’s all we really have anyway, our own view.

  “Why don’t you join a [trendy] gym?” Why should they? Even if other people think that makes him or her lazy and unconcerned with their health, one doesn’t give it a moment’s concern. Keep your judgements to yourself because he or she won’t hear them. Enjoy yourself and you won’t hear a peep from him or her. One doesn’t need to keep up with anyone else or be a part of their little club. Forget clubs.

  Do you want to know what else feels like punching a clock? Sitting in a bar. Loud music, a drink, a crowd of strangers and nothing to say to any of them. That is his or her idea of torture. Well close to it anyway, there surely are more torturous things out there! Still, it is torturous enough for him or her to be in such a circumstance which is why one avoids bars and clubs whenever possible. One would greatly prefer any variety of beverage in a quiet environment, the key being quiet and if it must be in public, there being a minimal number of patrons would be a big plus.

  A wish list comes to mind only after the gifts have arrived. We’ve got what we’ll get and there’s nothing he or she can say to change things! Oh if we wished and wished for something else it would be all fine and dandy but it doesn’t matter because we waited too long to tell those who could actually give us what we wanted!

  Chapter 6

  Suit yourself, sit with your discomfort now. Every single noise they make drives one crazy! How can they live with themselves? Don’t they get tired of their own noises and smells? The maddening thing is they don’t so much as try to better themselves. Sometimes one wonders if they even notice at all! God forbid if one brings it to their attention, oh no. One mustn’t go there.

  Do they like being the gatekeeper of everything? Standing between others and their freedom of choice? If he or she were to refuse something from them but attempt to acquire that same thing from another source would they try to stop it? What business is it of theirs anyhow? Do they own this table and all the food upon it? If one asked to begin with a smaller portion would they later be refused a second helping from the trough? One knows not for sure whether they will or whether they won’t! They’ll throw away the spoon and leave him or her with nothing more because they are the gatekeepers.

  What are his or her plans today? Really? First of all why should one explain themselves to anyone and second of all what if one doesn’t even have any? Maybe one likes to have no plans! Maybe one enjoys going through the day dictated and guided from one moment to the next by the unknowable expanse out there. Who do they think they are? Are they the approver or disapprover of his or her life? Should he or she look to others for confirmation that their plans for the day are up to par with whatever nonsensical standards popularly pushed? Lay off will you? Why won’t you just let it be?

  One would rather accept a larger learning curve as long as the knowledge came from a source other than you. Why would he or she subject themselves to a condescending attitude? One doesn’t need to be put down for not swiftly grasping what you proclaim to be the easiest thing on earth to learn.

  Forgive them or don’t. They don’t care. He or she will never put themselves in those hands again. One no longer has any reason to trust them. One hopes there comes a day when they’ll be lacking the know-how for something and he or she will be the only person who’ll “know-how”. Oh yes that’ll be a sweet day!

  Can… They… Hear… One? He or she wishes they could. One wishes they would. He or she will always be the first to extend a hand of forgiveness and peace and the others will always be the hateful ones. Is this biased? Is this being too one-sided? Is this what being “straight-up in denial” is? Entirely possible, one won’t lie. It’s highly probable he or she is just sourcing this from his or her dimwitted imagination!

  “Hurry up now!”, that’s what they always hear and what one is always told. It’s a common saying and a common credo. “Silly human!”, is what an alien would say about this whole thing. Insert a laugh right here “would ya"? Let’s cut the rigmarole already.

  Silliness is probably what anyone would deem these words herein to be. Who knows if they’d be right or wrong for saying so? At least they had the opportunity to appreciate the words and phrases. Is this literature? One sure hopes so! If they’re opposed to all that he or she has said to date then why are they still reading?

  The feeling of inadequacy never fades. It creeps up at night when their guard comes down. Not enough of this, not enough of that. Does this need to be replenished? Are we running out of that? Thinking about countless items and tasks that slipped the mind. The guilt begins to feel like it’s getting you buzzed. One wonders when they’ll learn and when one will stop believing and falling for the guilt trips.

  This is inspiring! Yes that inspires him or her. Not some poseur or wannabe pretending to be, but truly a warrior through and through! If you don’t agree that’s fine, different strokes after all, just don’t start proclaiming to them what’s what and what’s not because they’ll refuse to recognize it. Insert an annoying pathetic groan and a contradictory statement right here because you’re nothing but a coward! Yeah, take that and shove it. He or she won’t put down what inspires you and he or she su
re as death doesn’t need you shoving opinions down their throat! One would vomit right in your face this instant and mind you these words written here aren’t proverbial.

  Don’t you have any sense of decency? You’ve been entrusted with an extremely private matter yet you fail to conceal it for passersby? What if the matter in question belonged to you or someone of your immediate family? One is shocked and insulted at your lack of respect and you owe them an apology!

  Curtailed very quickly, too quickly. How else can you keep it up? Is it worth persevering for? Maybe one shouldn’t give up on his or her dreams. It doesn’t even need to be a dream, one is trying to refer to the inner voice. You can call it instinct or listening to your gut, the point is once you have glimpsed or felt and have been shown the magic it holds, there won’t be suitable words to accurately describe what one is pointing at and you’ll just know. It’s universal.

  The universe, God, Allah, whatever. It doesn’t matter what anyone calls it.

  He or she is a lover and a fighter! If you don’t protect them you are hurting them. You need to live kindly towards the ones who share themselves. One will just go with the flow and keep things real, awake, wide-eyed.

  It’s amazing when someone puts so much trust in you almost immediately. You need to cherish that and be thankful.

  Don’t throw away human beings or something will come and get you late in the night.

  One digs deep and scrapes every last bit out and dumps it onto a page. They should count themselves lucky to have been handed such unabridged power and the responsibility that comes with it. All one can say is “Thank you” and take the wheel and step on that pedal and GO!