Somebody to Love

by Danielle Burton

  I dropped my gaze, fighting a smile. Fail.

  “Esme,” came Haikeem’s dreamy voice. “your friend just got a little dizzy, but she’s okay now.”

  Es stepped closer, looking me over with the same care Haikeem had. “Dizzy?”

  “Yeah, I um, felt weak.”

  Her smirk came again. “I see. Thank you, Haikeem, for taking care of my Bestie.”

  “Not a problem.”

  I wasn’t looking at him, but I could feel his gaze on me.

  “Guess I’ll see you around then, Miss Kirby.”

  I stole a peek at him and nodded.

  He grabbed his bag and headed toward the exit, but not before throwing one last smile over his shoulder.

  Swoon!

  Once he was gone, Esme gripped my shoulders and stared at me with wide eyes. “Start from the beginning and tell me everything!”

  Chapter Seven

  ~ Haikeem ~

  Idiot. Stupid. Dumbass.

  Just a few of the names I called myself for failing to procure Kirby’s number. I could’ve kicked myself.

  I’d gone back to the library a couple of times, but we’d yet to cross paths again. I’d even asked around, but no one seemed to know the cutie in the yellow dress. Or I suppose now, the cutie in the yellow top and yellow headband.

  A week had passed since that day. Two since our first encounter, and just like the first time, she invaded my thoughts. Came right in and made herself comfortable. Before I wouldn’t have minded. Would’ve welcomed those big brown eyes, that shy smile, soft voice. But that was the old me. New Keem played by a different set of rules.

  Perhaps it was for the best that she was lost to me. For the both of us.

  I sat at my desk, spinning a pen between my fingers, contemplating her, but trying not to.

  “Keem, man. You hear me?”

  I looked over my shoulder at Baz where he sat on the futon in front of the window. “Huh?”

  “I asked if you were chillin’ tonight? Werk?”

  Didn’t take but a second to come up with my answer. “Nah. Not really in the mood.”

  He sucked his teeth with his eyes narrowed at me. “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on that broad. You been bugging since that night.”

  I sighed. “Nobody’s bugging. I’m just curious. She’s…different.”

  “Uh huh. In what way?”

  I didn’t answer. Knew he’d never understand. I turned back to my desk, hoping he’d drop it.

  “Bruh, the chick ran from you. So, different or not, she obviously isn’t interested.”

  “She seemed pretty interested the other day,” I said without looking at him.

  “You saw her again?”

  Shit. Should’ve kept my mouth shut.

  “We sort of…ran into each other at the library.”

  When I glanced back at him, he had a skeptical look on his face. “Uh huh. She say why she jetted?”

  “Didn’t come up.”

  I kept it at that. He didn’t need to know about her second attempt to flee or how one-sided our conversation had been.

  “So…what makes her so ‘different’?”

  I mulled over his question. What was different about her? I couldn’t say. It was more of a feeling. Yet another thing I wouldn’t utter aloud. Baz wasn’t the type to understand such things.

  “She’s a good girl.”

  “A good girl? How do you know that?”

  “Trust me, I know.”

  He lifted a brow at me. “Okay. So, what are you going to do about it?”

  “Do about–”

  Our convo paused when Tobias barged in, followed close behind by Nico.

  Note to self: Keep door locked.

  Although I could do without the intrusion into my personal space, I was grateful for the interruption. “Where ya’ll coming from?”

  T flopped down on my neatly made bed and my eye twitched. “Home,” he replied as he grabbed one of my comics from the bedside table. “Mom asked about you. Wanted to know why she hasn’t seen you in almost three weeks.”

  “My uh, course load is heavy this semester. Senior year and all. Plus, work. Just got a lot on my plate right now.” None of that was a lie, but I’d always excelled at school with ease, so it was nothing I couldn’t handle. The way my parents looked at me though, was a different case.

  “You coming out tonight?” Nico asked.

  “Nah his punk ass ain’t coming,” was Baz’s response.

  Nico looked between us then raised a brow. “You good, Keem? You been flaking a lot lately.”

  I dropped my pencil since it was clear I wouldn’t be getting any work done. “Yeah, I’m good. Just need to focus. I got two semesters left. Not trying to fuck around and not graduate like some people.”

  Baz and T snickered. “He stay roasting your ass.”

  Nico frowned at T and the next minute they were cracking jokes on each other.

  Usually I’d join in, but the heat was off me and that’s where I wanted to keep it. Amid it all, I caught Baz’s gaze on me. It was an unreadable and penetrating, almost like he was looking for something.

  I faced my desk again and tried to get back to work. I couldn’t focus so I just put on my headphones and pretended to be busy until T tapped me on the shoulder to let me know they were headed out.

  When they left, I flopped back on the bed, gaze on the ceiling. She invaded my mind almost immediately. Those innocent eyes, peeking up at me, so shy. Silky curls pushed back from her small face with that yellow headband. Such delicate features and a voice to match. In my daydream, she smiled, and that dead internal organ sprang to life, galloping so fast it hurt.

  I rubbed at my chest as if that would help and the corners of my mouth began to lift. They dropped just as quick. I asked myself what the hell was wrong with me half a dozen times. I was fooling myself to think I even stood a chance. Someone like her...they didn’t belong in my world. She was further from reach than the moon and the stars.

  I dropped my hand to my side and looked out at the darkening sky. The emptiness returned, filling me up until it leaked from the corners of my eyes.

  ~ ♥ ~

  Saturday afternoon at Angelo’s, Baz was in a booth in my section recounting the tale of his Friday night escapades. A threesome. Drunk best friends feeling experimental.

  “I’m telling you, man, you shoulda been there.”

  I shook my head at him and smirked. “If I’d have been there it would’ve been a foursome. Not interested in incest.”

  His smile dropped into a frown. “I mean at Werk. Nasty ass.” He toyed with his menu, shaking his head.

  “I’m at work now, so would you order?”

  “You never answered my question yesterday.”

  I lifted a brow at him, praying it wasn’t what I thought it was. “What question?”

  “About what makes ol’ girl so special.”

  I sighed. I’d hoped he forgotten about that conversation, or at least let it go. I’d said too much. Well, it wasn’t so much me than the old Keem bobbing at the surface. He’d sunken back down now, deep into the depths.

  “Different was what I said. Not special.”

  “Okay. So, what makes her ‘different’?”

  The way he used air quotes for the word different irked me, but I let it go. “Told you. She’s a good girl.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t elaborate. I don’t get what you even see in her. Too skinny.”

  I fixed my mouth to defend her, but quickly pushed old Keem down once again. “I hear skinny girls have the best pussy. Plus, they’re flexible and light. You can get them in the freakiest positions.”

  His eyes narrowed a fraction and he smirked. “So, this is about pussy?”

  “What else would it be about?”

  He stared at me a long moment before his smirk lifted into a full smile. “Had me worried for a minute, bruh. Thought you was getting soft on me again.” He sat back again at the booth with his arms crossed
. “But anyway. Good girls aren’t unattainable, just take a little extra work. It’s worth it though because they’re usually the freakiest.”

  I lifted a brow. “Yeah?”

  “Hell yeah. That good girl gone bad shit is real.”

  I nodded as someone waving caught my attention. I signaled to another customer that I would be another moment then turned back to Baz. “Will you order something before you get me in trouble? I’m not supposed to be socializing.”

  The bell over the entrance chimed and I glanced up, or at least glancing had been the plan. The muscle in my chest tightened, skipping not one, but two beats, as sunshine waltzed through the door.

  Two long braids lay on each of her shoulders, bound by yellow ribbons. Her tawny brown skin glowed beneath a form fitting grey and white striped top. A yellow skirt finished her ensemble. It hugged her slender hips, showing just a hint of her flat belly.

  My eyes journeyed with her as she and her friend sought an empty table. All the while my brain screamed four words I dare not say aloud in front of Baz: Sit in my section!

  Two tables away was where they sat.

  “Looks like you got your chance,” Baz said, grabbing my attention.

  “Looks like it.”

  “And you’re sure it’s just about pussy?” He had that skeptical look on his face again.

  “I’m sure,” I said with the pen to my notepad. “Now what do you want?”

  “A small meat lovers and a Sprite.”

  I scribbled that down then went to take care of the other customer before turning it in.

  I spent the time it took to reach her table rationalizing what I was about to do.

  In the end, she’d be no different I told myself. All women were the same. Users. Abusers. They expected to be catered to, spoiled, but would never do the same for us in return. They were callous, calculating, controlling, and took good guys like me...like I used to be, for granted.

  Standing above their table, I cleared my throat. When she looked up, those eyes gripped me in my spot. Wouldn’t let go. They appeared so innocent, reminded me of a sweet little kitten.

  Don’t trust it, my mind whispered to me. Even a kitten will claw your eyes out if given the chance.

  I licked my lips and put on my most charming smile. Making girls melt was an art I’d mastered. Made getting what I wanted that much easier. “Hello, Sunshine.”

  Chapter Eight

  ~ Kirby ~

  Sunshine!

  I fought the urge to dance in my seat. He’d given me a nickname!

  I wanted to greet him back with the one he’d given me permission to use, but my lips wouldn’t move. My gaze flew to Esme for help.

  She just gave a reassuring nod.

  It was her way of telling me to remember what we’d practiced. In anticipation of seeing him again, Esme had given me lots of advice and tips.

  Use short sentences to reduce the chance of getting tongue tied.

  Make eye contact every so often, but not to the point where I or him feel uncomfortable

  We’d gone over tons more subjects, some naughty, but for now I’d focus on the ones involving conversation.

  Short sentences. Eye contact.

  Okay, let’s do this.

  “Hi, Keem. How–” my voice cracked a smidge, but his smile urged me forward while simultaneously making me tremble inside. “How are you?”

  “I’m good, better now. And yourself?”

  O.M.G. I was actually conversing with my crush. I wanted to squeal. Keep your cool, Kirb. Don’t geek out. “I’m fine.”

  His gaze left mine long enough to take in the rest of me. A smile played in his eyes, matching the one on those sexy lips. “I can see that.”

  My grin stretched so wide my cheeks hurt.

  “What can I get for you ladies?” He poised his pen over his note pad and looked down at me expectantly.

  I took in a breath of air and eased it out slowly. Ordering food had never been my strong suit, anxiety always sent me stumbling over my words and by the time I finished I was on the brink of tears. It had taken an immense amount of strength to utter the few words I had to Keem. I was unsure if I’d be able to continue.

  “I...” My eyes went to Esme again.

  Instead of giving a nod this time, she looked up at Keem. “Haikeem, my friend here is a vegan. Maybe you could point out a few vegan friendly items on the menu for her.”

  He glanced at her then turned back to me with that smile. “A vegan, huh?”

  “Yes,” I spoke softly.

  Tucking his notepad away, he leaned over the table and flipped my menu to the first page.

  His proximity quickened my heart and sent shivers coursing through me from head to toe. That laundry fresh scent of his washed over me next, so spine tingling. I crossed my legs when the heat hit me. I couldn’t believe he was this close to me.

  My eyes went on a journey, taking every bit of him in. Even in an apron he looked good. His t-shirt was black today, with an Angelo’s logo on the sleeve. A vein bulged from his flexed bicep. Part of me wished I was bold enough to reach out and touch it.

  “Kirby?”

  I jumped at the deep rasp of his voice. When I came out of my daze, his eyes were on mine. The intensity of his gaze made me squirm in my seat. “Yes?”

  His brows knitted together, and he looked me over. “Are you okay?”

  I gave a mindless nod, so lost in his eyes.

  “Did you hear what I said about the menu?”

  I dropped my gaze to it, heat creeping across my cheeks as I wondered how long he’d been speaking while I just stared like a weirdo. A familiar sensation burned my eyes and I tried to blink the moisture away before he saw.

  But it was too late. His eyes were on me, a strange look on his face, when the first tear broke free.

  My lower lip trembled, and I scooted out of my seat. “Excuse me.” I raced to the restroom before I did something even more embarrassing.

  I stood in the mirror, shoulders heaving, tears pouring. Moments like this were when I wished most to be normal. Living this way was hell. Each day I tried to be different I was only fooling myself. To believe a guy would ever want me, especially if he knew the reason behind my emotional outburst.

  I sobbed harder. It wasn’t fair.

  A knock on the door halted my tears. I stared at it, unmoving. A few seconds later it came again.

  I took cautious steps toward it as I wiped my face, wondering why someone would be knocking when it was unlocked. Pulling it open, I peeked out and my heart hit my throat.

  A lopsided smile greeted me.

  I didn’t speak. Couldn’t if I tried.

  “Do I stink or something? Every time I come around your eyes water and you run away.” He finished with a goofy smile that made me giggle.

  “She laughs. I’d call that progress. So, what is it? You don’t like me or something? Think I’m ugly?”

  I hid another giggle behind my hand. “No. It’s nothing like that.”

  For a long moment he stood there, studying me, then curled his finger, beckoning me out.

  I released a shaky breath before emerging, then hugged my arms around my waist. “W-where’s Esme?”

  “At the table. She said I should check on you.”

  “Oh,” I dropped my gaze to his sneakers, unsure yet if I should thank Esme for her sneaky ways.

  “Did you and your boyfriend break up or something?”

  My eyes flew to his. “I-I don’t have an um...I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “Was it something I did?”

  I shook my head, knowing that even if I tried to explain, he’d never understand the problems I faced each day, problems I wish didn’t plague me.

  He wore an unreadable expression, or maybe it was readable. Comprehending other’s emotions was sometimes difficult for me.

  He gave a small nod then stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure you were good, and that I hadn’t done anything to
upset you.”

  His steps retreated backwards, and he slowly turned, heading out of the hall that housed the restrooms.

  Inside I screamed words I could never say aloud: please don’t go.

  The tears welled again.

  A few feet away he froze, then faced me again. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

  I swallowed the tears away, which wasn’t an easy feat. “Tomorrow?”

  He nodded while closing the space between us again.

  “Um, hanging out with Esme.”

  He stopped and leaned against the wall right next to me. “Do you think she’d mind if I stole you away for the day?”

  “You want to...steal me?”

  His hazel eyes twinkled. “Yeah. I’m going to this party down at the beach. Thought you might like to join me. ...Would you?”

  Giddiness just about exploded from my chest. Was he asking me out? Me?

  I had to force myself back into the moment. I took a slow, measured breath before speaking. “Um, I um.”

  “Say yes.” He bit down on his lower lip, expectant eyes on me.

  “Yes.”

  I just about fainted as we exchanged numbers. Afterwards he went back to take care of his tables.

  I high-tailed it back to Esme and grabbed her hand. “We have to go.”

  She frowned up at me. “We haven’t even ordered yet.” She gave me a cautionary once over then glanced around the restaurant. “What happened? Did he do something? I’ll kick his ass.”

  “No. No, Esme.” I blocked her from standing before she did something crazy. “Let’s just go. I’ll tell you in a minute.”

  “Fine,” she grumbled. “But you owe me food.”

  “We’ll go to the sub place.” I grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the door before the excitement bubbling inside me burst free in Haikeem’s presence.

  My steps were super bouncy as we distanced ourselves from the pizza shop and I couldn’t contain my smile if I wanted to.

  Esme stopped me when we were a block away. “You want to tell me what that was about now, Tigger?”

  I continued to bounce while looking around as if someone would hear my big news. I wouldn’t have cared if they did, I could shout it from a roof top. I relayed the details of what had happened to Esme.