Somebody to Love

by Danielle Burton

  I reared back from her a bit. Partly out of confusion, mostly because of the scary tone in voice. “Dare what?”

  “I have watched your behavior with women these past few months, boy. Not her.”

  I threw back my head with a rough sigh. “Ma, I told you we were just watching a movie.”

  “This time.”

  “We’re just friends, Ma. That’s it.”

  She scoffed.

  “Ma…”

  She wouldn’t look at me.

  It hurt.

  “Kirby…she’s…incredible. I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

  She only shook her head. “I would believe that, Keem, but I don’t know you well enough anymore to trust your word.”

  More pain. It made me sick to my stomach. I’d disappointed her so much she couldn’t even bear the sight of me.

  Dad placed a hand on her shoulder. Until now he’d stood observing in silence. He’d always done so whenever my mother disciplined us, never disrespecting her authority by stepping in. Her word was her word and his was his.

  She glanced at him. No words were exchanged between them. They had this silent way of communicating. With her arms folded she finally looked at me. “Go to bed, Keem.”

  I didn’t dare speak. The conversation was over, that was clear. I heaved a sigh and headed out. They followed.

  I started toward the living room, but my mom’s voice stopped me. “In your room.”

  “Really?”

  Her brow rose. “Did I stutter?”

  I knew better than to argue further. As much as I wanted to be near Kirby, I turned and took the stairs two at a time. In my room, I flopped back on the bed and covered my face with a pillow.

  Not even a minute later there was a knock at my door.

  I lifted the pillow, hoping it wasn’t my mom. I don’t think I could handle her looking at me that way anymore. “Yeah?”

  The door opened, and I sighed with relief at the sight of my dad. Looking at him sometimes was like seeing into my future. Besides his obviously older features, we were the spitting image of one another.

  “What’s going on, Dad?”

  “Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.”

  My gaze went to the ceiling. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have and I wished they’d just let it go. “Nothing. Kirby and I were just chilling. We didn’t do anything, I swear.”

  “I believe you.” He grabbed the chair from my desk, brought it near the bed and sat in it backward. “That’s not what I meant though.”

  “Dad…”

  “You don’t want to talk about it. What’s new?”

  I turned to my dad, prepared for that same disappointed look my mom gave when I uttered that same thing to her. In his eyes were understanding though, but also, hurt. My dad had never had an issue showing his emotions.

  “You’re an adult, and you don’t have to talk to us about a damn thing. But just like we don’t know what it’s like in your shoes, you don’t know what it’s like in ours. Watching your child fade away before your eyes. Your mom doesn’t mean to be so harsh with you, but she’s hurting.”

  I looked to the ceiling again and closed my eyes to stop them burning. “She’s not the only one.”

  “We know that. That’s where the concern comes from, son. We see you hurting and it hurts us. One of the worse things as a parent is to witness your child suffering and not be able to do a damn thing about it. Whatever you’re going through, know that you are not alone. As long as your mom and I are breathing, you never will be. I don’t care what it is, what you’ve done, or what’s happened. Nothing is ever too bad for you to come to us.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat, but it didn’t stop the tear that leaked from the corner of my eye. I felt him wipe it away.

  “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

  I couldn’t speak so I just nodded.

  A long silence passed. So long that I had to open my eyes to make sure my dad hadn’t fallen asleep. When I looked over at him, he smiled.

  “You really like her.”

  “Huh?”

  “Kirby, you like her. I could see it in your eyes when you talked about her.”

  I looked away from him again. “We’re just friends.”

  “Didn’t say you weren’t. Said you liked her. You can try to deny it, but you are your father’s son and we can’t hide shit.”

  The silly expression on his face when I glanced over at him made me laugh.

  He yawned and stood to his feet. “Time for me to get some sleep.”

  “Goodnight, dad.”

  “G’night, and don’t forget what I said.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Love you, son.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. Something he’d done my whole life and hadn’t stopped because I’d gotten older. ‘Nothing wrong with a man showing his son affection’, he always said.

  “Love you too, dad.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  ~ Kirby ~

  I woke up smiling. It was hard not to when his face was the first thing I saw. “Hi.” I snuggled deeper into the warmth of my blanket, heart going crazy from his proximity.

  Keem was stooped down in front of me, flashing that lop-sided grin that turned me to a puddle every time I saw it. “Morning, Sunshine.” His warm fingers grazed my cheek when he brushed my hair behind my ear. Shivers. “How’d you sleep?”

  I covered my mouth to stifle a yawn and block my morning breath from him. “Good,” I said behind my hand. “What time is it?”

  “Early. Barely even seven. My mom told me to wake you to see if you wanted breakfast.”

  A deep inhale filled my nose with the sweet smell of cinnamon.

  “She made oatmeal,” he replied to my unasked question.

  Smiling, I sat up and stretched out my body. Oatmeal was my favorite. When I finished my stretch and opened my eyes, Keem was still looking at me. My skin heated under his gaze and I smoothed down my hair hoping I didn’t look a mess.

  “I’d love some breakfast.”

  He got to his feet and grabbed up the blanket I’d used. My phone dropped to the floor. He scooped it up and passed it to me then folded the blanket.

  I clicked the button to turn it on, but nothing happened. “Darn. It’s dead.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get you a charger.” He held his hand out to me.

  Goosebumps danced up my arm when I took it and stood with his help.

  With my hand in his, he led me toward the back of the house and into the kitchen. He left me there with his family. One of which I didn’t recognize. He looked to be about my age and was a couple of shades darker than Keem with tapered hair.

  Keem’s dad smiled at me. “Morning, sweetheart.”

  “Good morning, Mr. Lovelace.”

  Mrs. Lovelace greeted me with the same warm smile when she set a steaming bowl of oatmeal topped with fruit in front of me. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes ma’am.” I eyed the glass of milk she sat on my placemat and tried not to frown.

  “It’s almond,” she assured me. “I remember you’re vegan.”

  To that I smiled. “Thank you. This looks yummy.” I shifted in my seat, my gaze flitted around the table at the Lovelace family. I wasn’t completely relaxed around what was pretty much a table full of strangers, but I was more comfortable than I would’ve been if not for Mrs. Lovelace’s presence. And of course, Savannah smiling and waving at me across the table.

  I waved back. She was nice. I loved her butterfly collection. It was cool how she knew so much about each different one.

  There was one thing that led to my discomfort though. Or two actually; the unfamiliar face and the fact he kept staring at me.

  Keem was back a minute later and handed me a portable charger then took a seat on the other side of the table beside Savannah. I was kinda disappointed that he wasn’t next to me. His younger brother, Taylor, was. I wondered if his mom had sat us apart intentionall
y. She didn’t seem to be too happy about he and I being friends.

  I sipped my milk while I waited for my food to cool down a bit, then plugged my phone into the charger. A couple minutes later I turned it on and sat it in my lap.

  I caught that guy staring at me again and shifted uncomfortably in my chair. When I looked at Keem he was frowning at him, so he must have noticed it too.

  I chanced a look at him and his eyes were still on me, narrowed. “You look familiar.”

  “She goes to RCU,” Keem offered. “You’ve probably seen her around campus.”

  The answer didn’t seem to satisfy him because he kept staring. He then snapped his fingers. “Werk!”

  Keem sighed roughly and hung his head with his eyes closed.

  Looking between them, I was more than a little confused over what that guy meant and Keem’s reaction to him.

  Before I could think further, my phone started to go crazy on my lap. Message alert after message alert filled the room. I frowned at the dozens of old notifications that must have come when my phone was dead then opened the most recent one.

  Pain exploded in my chest. “Oh no.”

  “What’s wrong?” The question came from Keem.

  “I…” I read Esme’s message over again.

  Es: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I was worried and didn’t know who else to call.

  Then the one that followed.

  Es: I called you like a hundred times when I left the party. You said you were spending the night with me and when you weren’t back by two, I panicked. I had to call them, I didn’t have a choice. Please call so I know you’re okay.

  “Kirby?”

  I looked at Keem through blurred eyes, too numb to respond.

  “Sweetie,” his mom spoke next. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

  “I…I have to go.”

  Keem bolted from his seat and was on my side in seconds, taking my hand. He helped me stand and turned me toward him, a frown on his face. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “My sisters…” was all I could get out.

  Keem took my hand again. “I’m gonna run her home.” We were out of the room before anyone could respond.

  ~ ♥ ~

  The tears wouldn’t stop. Raina was going to be so mad. She’d probably make me drop out of RCU. I might not ever see Keem again.

  My fingers shook as I called Esme to let her know I was okay and on my way to her dorm.

  “Kirb! Thank goodness, I’ve been going crazy over here. Where–”

  “Kirby, where the hell are you?”

  My blood turned to ice at the sound of Raina’s voice.

  “Answer me!” she yelled into the phone.

  “I-I-I’m o-on my way there.”

  “Make it quick.” She hung up, but I knew she wasn’t done with me. It wasn’t often that I got in trouble, only a couple times actually. But this was the angriest I’d ever heard her.

  “Hey.” Keem rested his hand on my knee when he stopped at a light. I was too distraught to enjoy it. “What’s going on with your sisters? No one is hurt, are they?”

  I shook my head, unsure how to explain the situation to him without him thinking I was a baby. He was used to mature college women, not little girls who weren’t even allowed to live on campus and still had a curfew. “I was–” I paused to sniffle. “I was supposed to be with Esme last night. That’s what I told them. They found out I wasn’t.”

  He nodded and started driving again. “They’re mad?”

  “Yes.” Saige might be a little calmer than Raina but would definitely be upset with me. Especially if they knew I’d been with a guy. It was one of the things they’d spoken to me about at length when they’d let me enroll.

  No boys.

  They didn’t want anyone taking advantage of me with my condition. I guess I understood that, but Keem would never do that to me. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. He’d never hurt me.

  Ten minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of the dorm.

  Keem went to open the door, but I grabbed his arm. “You can’t come up with me. My sisters are here, and…”

  “You don’t want them to know you were with me.”

  “They’re really protective of me.”

  “You don’t have to explain. I understand.” He leaned across the seat and hugged me. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

  Tears welled again. I wasn’t so sure about that. “I hope so.”

  I climbed out and made my way to Esme’s dorm, more dread filling me with each step. My heart was thudding loud enough to wake the dead by the time I reached the door. I pressed my ear to the wood. It was quiet, too quiet. I hoped maybe they’d left, but I’d never be that lucky.

  I couldn’t open the door. Not because I didn’t want to, I didn’t, but my hands refused to move. Aside from their trembling that is.

  Music filled the empty hall, coming from my phone in the tune of Saige’s ring tone. A second later the door opened. Saige stood on the other side. Her wide eyes fell on me. She pulled me into a hug, which was surprising to say the least. “Geez, Kirby, you scared us all half to death. Where have you been?”

  Over her shoulder I could see Raina. Her hard glare was trained on me, arms crossed, hands squeezing her forearms so hard it was a wonder she didn’t cut off her own circulation.

  She wasn’t smiling.

  I was unsure if that meant she wasn’t that mad or had far surpassed that emotion. Either way, I felt like I was going to pee.

  Saige ushered me inside, sat me on the bed, then she too crossed her arms. “Well?”

  My gaze went to Esme where she sat at her desk, eyes darting between three sisters. She shook her head, but I wasn’t sure what she was saying no to.

  She huffed a silent sigh then wrote something on a notebook with a marker.

  Saige and Raina had their backs to her, not that they were paying her any attention anyway. They were too busy waiting for me to find my tongue and speak. I was sure fear had caused me to swallow it.

  I looked at Esme again when she lifted the notebook with a written message on it.

  I DIDN’T TELL THEM ABOUT KEEM.

  A small sigh of relief exited my lungs. The rest of that breath was snatched away, and I’m pretty sure a piece of my soul, when Raina shouted my name.

  My eyes flew to her.

  “Where have you been all night?”

  “I…I um.”

  “Speak!”

  I jumped, trying to get the words past the lump in my throat, and wiped at the unstoppable waterfall flowing from my eyes.

  Saige tossed a glare at Raina. “Would you stop yelling at her? It’s not helping.”

  Rai rolled her eyes. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be so tough on her if you’d stop babying her.”

  “I don’t baby her.” Saige sat down beside me. “But you need to be more patient.”

  “Patient?” Rai nearly shrilled. “I’ve been nothing but patient. For damn near ten years I’ve been patient. When does Raina get a life, huh? Tell me that?” She threw up her hands then paced away, giving us her back.

  Saige’s gaze softened. “Rai…”

  “No!” She spun around. “No, Saige. You think you can parent so much better? Then it’s your turn.” She stormed across the small dorm, threw open the door, and slammed it behind her. So hard that it made my chest hurt.

  A fresh round of tears poured down my face and the sobs started before I could even try to stop them. “I’m sorry.”

  Saige hugged me to her chest. “Don’t cry, sweetie.”

  “She hates me.”

  “No,” she pulled away, brushing both sides of my hair back then wiping my cheeks. “She doesn’t hate you, she’s just upset right now. You worried us both, we’ve been calling you half the night.”

  “I didn’t mean to stay gone all night. I fell asleep and my phone died.”

  “That still doesn’t explain where you were, Kirby.”

&n
bsp; “I was…I was just at a friend’s.”

  She wiped more of my tears. “What friend? I thought you said you hadn’t made any.”

  I didn’t want to lie, especially after what had just happened, but if they found out about Keem they’d take him from me. He was too special. I couldn’t lose him, so I said the first name that came to mind. “Savannah.”

  Her brows furrowed. “Savannah? Savannah who?”

  Before I could scramble for an answer to better cover my lie, Esme spoke up. “You mean Savannah Michaels from my sociology class? I didn’t know you two hung out.”

  “Um…we don’t usually, but she invited me to watch Halloween movies.”

  “And you two left me out?” She folded her arms in a fake pout. A very convincing one.

  “You said you were going to a party.”

  Saige’s gaze left Es and came back to me.

  I held my breath, hoping she’d buy Esme’s story.

  Finally, she sighed. “Kirb, I get that you want to experience the college life and make friends, but you can’t go running off without telling anyone where you are. Anything could happen.”

  “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

  She pulled me into another tight hug, smoothing down my hair. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  We left soon after. I wanted to stay with Esme, but didn’t want to push my luck after it appeared I’d avoided most of the trouble I could’ve been in. Raina wasn’t there when we got home. I wondered if she was ever coming back. I’d never seen her that mad.

  I sat in my room, nothing but silence as my company. I wanted to go to my treehouse, but it was too cold out now. Raina’s ex had wanted to add a heater so I could use it year-round, but I’s refused. Too dangerous.

  I had puzzles in my closet if I wanted to work on one, but my mind was on other things: Raina, my lie…Keem. The thought of his face eased some of the pain from my chest. Grabbing my phone from where I’d tossed it on my pillow, I scrolled to his name on my contact list.

  Before I could hit call, my cell rang in my hand. It was Esme.