Here and Now (Forever and Always #13)

by E. L. Todd

  Laura was quiet for a long time. She played with her glass and looked at the liquid inside. “You just said your brother has a marriage you aspire to.”

  “And they’ll probably end up of getting divorced too,” I said bitterly. “I love my brother but he’s a fucking asshole. He treated her like shit for a really long time. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass until recently, and I’ll always remember the way he treated Scarlet for as long as I live. He’s redeemed himself a million times over, but I still can’t forget the past. I just don’t want to be hurt like she was. I don’t want to be used. I feel like Cassandra never really loved me, and I just can’t go through that again. I’m meant to be a bachelor, never being with anyone long enough to start caring about them.”

  “That’s no way to live.”

  “Coming from the stripper who slept with me and never called me back.” That was low but I didn’t care.

  “I’m sorry. I already knew your reputation and knew you didn’t want to talk to me.”

  “Then why did I call?”

  “Because I’m Janice’s sister and you felt bad.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.” I finished my beer then looked at everyone inside the bar. They were having a good time, hanging with their friends and flirting with their dates. The sound of their conversation and laughter echoed in my ears, making me feel more and more hollow.

  Laura stared at me for a long time. “I know you feel like shit right now, but you won’t always feel like this.”

  I didn’t bother responding to her hollow and empty comment. “I’m heading home.” I left the booth then walked to the door without saying goodbye to her. I just wasn’t in the mood to be nice right now.

  When I reached the sidewalk, she came beside me.

  “Wait.”

  I turned around. “What?”

  She played with her hair for a moment. “You want to come to my place…?”

  Did she want to hook up? “You want to fuck?”

  She smirked. “I wouldn’t mind it. I’m lonely and you’re lonely. And you’re good in bed.”

  The idea was tempting. I knew Cassandra wasn’t coming back so I didn’t owe her anything. I was single and could do whatever the hell I wanted. And I already slept with Laura so there wouldn’t be any surprises. “I know you think I’ve become this really nice guy that’s just going through a hard time, but let me assure you, I’m a fucking asshole and I don’t care about you. The only reason why I’ve been nice to you is because Ryan is my friend. And if I sleep with you, it’s solely just to fuck you and not call you again.”

  She smirked. “At least you’re honest about it. But I’m fine with all of that.”

  Could I really do this? I kept thinking about Cassandra. But I guess I would think about her no matter what. No matter how long I waited to be with someone new, she would be in my thoughts when I first fucked someone else. But I still couldn’t do it. “I’m gonna pass. Have a good night.”

  “Mike.”

  I sighed. “What?”

  She sauntered to me then pressed her face close to mine. “You can pretend to be an asshole but I know you aren’t one.”

  “You obviously don’t know me very well.”

  “Then why did you offer me the job? Why did you buy me a drink?”

  I didn’t have a response to that.

  “I think you’re hurting right now but you’ll see it through.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. They were warm and wet, the taste of whiskey on her lips. The kiss was short and gentle. The sound of our lips breaking apart was loud on my ears. “Call me if you change your mind.” She walked to the street and got into cab.

  I processed what just happened, realizing I just kissed someone who wasn’t Cassandra.

  7

  Hazel

  You know that moment when you walk into a room and you know everyone was just talking about you? That happened to me a lot today. All the dancers despised me. When they said mean things about me, they didn’t even bother whispering.

  “I can’t believe he’s dating her,” Veronica said with disgust. “Is she paying him?”

  I ignored them and kept my head high. I never cared what they thought about me before so I wouldn’t start caring now. Flynn made me really happy and I wouldn’t let anything spoil it.

  “She’s flatter than a board,” Veronica said. “She hardly looks like a girl.”

  Her back as to me and she was stretching a few feet up the stage. We were sitting down on the hard floor while we stretched. The theatre amplified every sound, so if I heard her ranting, so did everyone else.

  “Is Flynn into little boys?” Veronica kept going.

  I was getting sick of this. “Yo, plastic.” I said it loud so everyone could hear.

  Veronica slowly turned around, shocked I was talking to her. “Plastic?”

  “I don’t have breasts, but at least what I have is real.”

  “Oooh…” The girls snickered at my words. They knew shit was going down. Like I said before, they could be Veronica’s closest friends, but that could change in a New York minute.

  “Now shut the hell up and concentrate on your job. It’s not my fault Flynn got sick of you and dumped you, but talking shit about me isn’t going to change that. So, cry me a river somewhere else.”

  Everyone’s eyes were wide. I was so quiet all the time that no one thought I had it in me. Just because I didn’t talk much didn’t mean I was shy. It just meant I didn’t have anything worth mentioning. And if someone was dragging my name through the mud, I was going to get some dirt on theirs.

  Veronica glared at me. “You better watch your mouth, cunt.”

  “Wow, you’re so classy.” I rolled my eyes.

  That just pissed her off even more. “You really picked the wrong girl to piss off.”

  I jumped to me feet. “You want to do this now? I have no problem kicking your ass in front of everyone.”

  She didn’t move, still glaring at me.

  “Come on. You scared? You just said I was a stick with no curves. What are you worried about?”

  She turned around and continued to stretch.

  “Now look who’s a cunt.”

  Everyone laughed at my words. Veronica was definitely losing popularity—quick.

  I sat back down and continued my stretches. The dance instructor came to the stage and we began our rehearsal, from beginning to end. Flynn and Dan sat in the audience and made their notes. I felt Flynn’s eyes on me the entire time. It was full of heat. When we spent the night making out, I definitely wanted to do more.

  When we broke for lunch, I pulled my shoes off and felt my feet. They were blistered and sore.

  “You looked hot up there.” Flynn sat beside me on the floor.

  “Like sweaty and gross?” I teased. “Because that’s how I feel.”

  “No.” He put his hand on my thigh. “You were a sexy beast shaking your ass.”

  “A sexy beast?” I laughed.

  He winked. “And that’s how I like them.”

  I chuckled. “What did you bring for lunch?”

  “I was hoping I could take you out.”

  “You don’t need to do that,” I said quickly.

  “But I want to.” He leaned his face close to mine and brushed a loose strand behind my ear. Then he gave me a gentle kiss.

  “My feet are broken.”

  He smirked. “I’ll carry you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  He stood up then pulled me to my feet. “Come on. Piggy back ride.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “You don’t know me at all.”

  I rolled my eyes then jumped on his back.

  “Good. Now we’re off.”

  I looked at the girls huddled in front of the stage. They were drinking their water bottles and glaring at me. Veronica was more pissed than anyone else. I didn’t care and gripped Flynn, my boyfriend, tighter.

  We went to a Greek restaurant and he carrie
d me all the way to a booth. “You better tip me.”

  “I have a few ones.”

  “I only accept kisses.” He winked at me.

  “I should have known…”

  He leaned over the table. “You love my kisses.”

  “I can’t argue with that.”

  Flynn grabbed my hand then brushed his thumb over the knuckles. “How’s your day been?”

  I shrugged. “Eh.”

  “Eh? Is that a word?”

  I laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  “Then please explain with words or pictures. I accept either.” He opened his menu and browsed through the items.

  I did the same. “Veronica was talking shit about me. I let it get to me and I exploded.”

  “What does that mean?” he asked.

  “She was saying I was flat and ugly, and blah blah blah. But she was it saying to everyone in the production, so I told her off and threatened to beat the shit out of her.”

  “Damn, my baby means business.”

  I shook my head slightly. “I know I shouldn’t have blown up but I couldn’t help it. She just pissed me off, you know?”

  “I’m so glad I’m not a girl.”

  “Me too,” I teased.

  “And for the record, you aren’t flat.”

  “You’ve been looking?”

  “Damn right. I’m a gentleman, not a saint.”

  I knew I was flat. I was barely an A cup. “I know I don’t have tits. There’s no beating around the bush with that. I’m just not genetically blessed in that way.”

  “Well, I think you’re perfect. So yes, you are blessed.”

  “You’re full of it,” I said with a laugh.

  He gave me a straight face. “I am not. I love your body. It’s not about size. It’s about proportion. And baby, you’re perfect in every single way. It’s not the size of a girl’s chest or ass that makes her beautiful. There’s a lot more to it.”

  That was a sweet thing to say, and I never expected him to say it to me. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  I looked at the menu again. “All my guy friends talk about how much they love their girls’ tits and ass.”

  “I’m not saying they aren’t wonderful. Believe me, I’m looking forward to seeing yours.” He winked at me. “But you have other attributes that caught my attention first.”

  “Like what?”

  “Your eyes. I love how green they are. Your face. You have hollow cheekbones and a slender neck. I love touching it when I kiss you. Your hair is blonde, but not a typical blonde color. It’s unique, beautiful. You have a petite size and height.” He shrugged. “I’ve always been a sucker for shorties. You’re definitely the most attractive girl on that stage. Believe me, I was bummed when you had absolutely no interest in me and blew me off while all the other girls came running.” He shook his head. “I knew I’d have to talk to you some other way.”

  “And me losing my purse was that opportunity?”

  “No. I was actually going to approach you and ask if you wanted to change positions. I hoped I’d get to know you and that would lead to other things, but being your knight and shining armor worked out fine.”

  “I hardly think unlocking a door is heroic,” I teased.

  “Hey, what would you have done without me?” He gave me a playful look. “I came to your rescue. And you know, I never did get a reward for that.”

  I smirked. “And what would you like, sir?”

  “I’d love to take you out to dinner tonight.”

  “That sounds like a treat for me, not you.”

  “Making you smile is a treat for me.” He turned back to his menu. “What are you getting?”

  “Chicken kabobs and rice.”

  “Excellent choice. Me too.” He closed the menu just as the waiter arrived. “My lady an I will be having the chicken kabobs.”

  “Of course, sir.” He grabbed the menus and left.

  “Your lady?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Let me explain to you how a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship works…”

  “I’ve just never heard someone call someone their lady.”

  “Well, you are my lady.”

  I stared at him for a long time, finding it hard to believe that one of the best looking guys I’ve ever seen was into me. He was so sweet and caring, and he was a perfect gentleman even though his tattoo said otherwise. He was almost too good to be true.

  “What?”

  “Huh?”

  “You were staring at me.” He gave me a cocky smirk. “And I think you liked what you saw.”

  I did. More than he would ever know.

  I decided to wear jeans and a t-shirt. When it came to clothes, I was definitely a casual girl. Besides, I didn’t own anything nice. I’d been poor my entire life. Well, my parents had money but they cut me off when I decided to become a dancer, so I’d been tight on money for a long time. The jeans I wore were the same ones I had five years ago. They were starting to tear in places, but they still kept everything tucked away. It was good I was a dancer so I wouldn’t gain any weight. That saved me money.

  Flynn rang the doorbell, and my heart rate increased. He still made me nervous and excited at the same time. We’d been dating for weeks, and I felt like I’d known him my entire life. It was hard to explain.

  I opened the door, seeing him dressed in dark jeans and a nice shirt. He usually dressed just as casual as me. “You look fancy.”

  “I want to take you somewhere nice tonight.”

  “Oh, that’s unnecessary. Pizza is fine.” I grabbed my purse.

  “Well, I like having a cheap date, but I’d like to take you out to a fancy place. It’s what boyfriends do.”

  “Well, I’m not your typical girlfriend.”

  “Come on.”

  “It’s too expensive.”

  He smirked. “Did you think you were paying? That wouldn’t make me an ass at all.”

  “You don’t need to spend that kind of money on me. It’s just for a meal that’s going to disappear anyway. Not worth it.”

  He placed his fingers under my chin and forced me to look at him. “Let’s get something straight. I do what I want with my money. And if I want to take you to a nice dinner, I will. When I have a girlfriend, I give her the world. So you better accept it.”

  When I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore, I looked down.

  “Now get your ass dressed.”

  I chuckled. “You’re demanding.”

  “When I have to be.”

  “Fine.” I walked back into my room and tried to find something to wear. Anything that was good was old or just out of style. I searched through my drawers but didn’t find anything. Well, this was embarrassing.

  I came back into the living room and saw Flynn sitting on the couch, playing a game on his phone. He looked up at me. “I’m guessing you’re one of those girls that takes three hours to get ready?”

  I gave him a playful glare. “I’m about to tell you something, and now that I’ve known you for a while, I know exactly how you’re going to react. So you have to promise you aren’t going to do what I know you’re going to do.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “That’s not vague at all…”

  “Just promise me.”

  “I don’t even know what I’m promising.”

  “Just do it.”

  “Whatever. Fine.”

  “I don’t have any nice clothes to wear.” I shrugged. “I’ve been poor for a long time.”

  His eyes softened. “I’ll take you shopping.”

  “That’s exactly what I had you promise not to do.”

  He sighed. “It’s not a big deal, Hazel.”

  “I’m going to go by Janice’s place and ask if I can borrow something.” I picked up my phone and saw the text message from Scarlet.

  Since you weren’t there the other night, I wanted to give you a heads up that Ryan and Janice are fighting to the death. I wouldn’t bother either one of them for a while
.

  “Okay. Well, that’s out.”

  “I could just take you to get something,” Flynn pressed.

  I texted Monnique. Hey. I know this is weird, but can I borrow a nice outfit tonight? I don’t have anything to wear.

  She responded immediately. Sure. I’ve been getting a lot of free clothes from the magazine.

  Score!

  Come over.

  I put my phone away. “I’m going to borrow something from Monnique. Let’s go by there.”

  He sighed in annoyance. “Okay.”

  We left the apartment and headed to Monnique’s. The door was unlocked so I walked inside.

  “Hey,” she said. “What’s the occasion?”

  “We’re going to a nice dinner and I don’t have anything to wear.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you have anything to wear?”

  “Um…I accidently burned my box of fancy clothes.” I couldn’t think of something better to say.

  Flynn stared at my face while I lied to my friend, the disapproval in his eyes.

  “Well, here’s a few things you can have.” Monnique placed them on the couch.

  I looked through the assortment. “They are all nice.”

  “I think this will be a good color on you.” Monnique pointed to a dark blue dress.

  I looked at the tag. “Armani?”

  She shrugged. “Working for a magazine has its perks.”

  “I’ll try it on.”

  “And here are the shoes,” Monnique said.

  “Thanks.”

  I went into the bathroom and tried it on. It was love at first sight. Now I understood why girls loved designer clothes so much. I came out of the bathroom and showed Monnique. “I love it.”

  Monnique nodded her head in approval. “That fits you perfectly.”

  Flynn eyed me. “It brings out your eyes.”

  Monnique smiled at me. “I want you to keep it, Hazel. It looks too good on you.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I have too many clothes as it is. When Cortland and I move back in together, he’s going to freak at all the new clothes I’ve acquired.”