Reckless Abandon

by J N Owens

  “Finley, listen I can explain about those text messages.” I roll my eyes.

  “I don’t want to talk about that. I want to know why you were in my house. Take this chance now, I’m only giving you the one. The police are coming and I’m filing a report. So, you better make it good.”

  “Finley, please don’t do this. Don’t do this to us.”

  “Are you serious? Me? You’re asking me not to do this to us? You did this. Not me. You screwed this up. I’m done with you. I have been done with you. I deserve someone better. I deserve someone that treats me with respect. I never did anything to cause you to treat me with such little regard, the lies, and the cheating. How dare you! You came after me, you chased me. And then you turn around and treat me like some plaything. Well, fuck you.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “There isn’t anything you can say. I don’t want to hear it. I’m done. If you don’t have anything to say about why you were at my house, then this conversation is over.”

  “I just wanted to check on things while you were gone. That’s all. I promise. I didn’t know if you had anyone going by there.” I just roll my eyes. I can literally smell his bullshit through the phone.

  “Alright fine, whatever. But for future reference, I have plenty of people keeping an eye on things for me. Do not ever come to my house again. You need to get it in your head we are over.”

  “Please don’t do this.”

  “It’s been done. For weeks. Get over it.” Then I just hang up. I can’t keep entertaining his delusions. This conversation would go on all night. So, I just end it. I send a message to my dad.

  Me: hey dad, listen I need a favor. I need one of your security guys over at my house first thing in the morning. I need cameras and an alarm system ASAP. Thanks so much. Love you.

  * * *

  Dad: OK biscuit. I’ll get right on that. Is everything OK?

  * * *

  Me: yeah, just a guy. He was at my house while I was out of town and now, he is a little angry we broke up, so I want to just take precautions. That’s all.

  * * *

  Dad: OK. I’ll call you tomorrow.

  I put my phone down and look over at Layla. She is sitting calmly, but I know her well enough to know she is close to boiling over. “Dad is sending someone over to set up some security. We won’t have anything to worry about. He is going to call me tomorrow, so I’ll see what he thinks about filing a report. Thanks for coming over.”

  “Anytime chic, I love you. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will. Love you too.” I hug her as she heads out the door. I lock it behind her and make my way upstairs. I’m exhausted from not sleeping much last night and then traveling today and drinking on the plane. I decide unpacking can wait until tomorrow. I go straight to my room and fall into my bed. I don’t change or even take my shoes off. I just fall flat on my face.

  I wake the next morning in the same position. Except I have drool running down the side of my face into my pillow and crusted around the outside of my lip. Ooh that’s disgusting. I pull myself up and make my way into the bathroom and start the shower. I look in the mirror and I look horrible. I brush my teeth and start to take my clothes off. I hear my phone beep in the other room. I go pick to it up. When I look at the screen, I see a new message and 3 missed calls from Scott.

  Scott: please call me. We need to talk. Please call me. Please let me just explain.

  Oh God. what am I gonna do? I can’t deal with him. I have to nip this now. OK later, I have to take a shower now. And then coffee. And maybe a bagel. So that’s what I do. I take my shower and go downstairs to get some strong coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. As I’m waiting for breakfast to be ready my phone starts ringing, I hear Led Zeppelin singing Ramble On and immediately know it’s my sister. What in God’s name is she doing up this early and why is she calling me? This isn’t a good sign. I answer it.

  “Hey Layla. What’s up? Nothing good if your calling me this early.”

  “So, I’ll just cut right to it. I called mom and Davis last night after I left your house. I was a little concerned after what happened, and you told me he was still bothering you. I also wanted to tell Davis about that whole letter thing we talked about a while back. So, I wanted to find out what that would entail if that was actually something that would happen. So, what did that letter look like?”

  I rub at my temples.

  “Um, it was just a letter, it was professional. It had the heading on it and was addressed to Scott and had the governor’s signature on it. It had the state seal at the top, I think. Why?”

  “Davis said it would have a watermark in the paper. All official letters from the governor’s office have a watermark in the letter, the state seal is raised, and there will be something else in the signature line. He said what it was, but I can’t remember. I know he said it isn’t just a regular letter. Its official orders. And there’s something else.”

  “What else?” Now I’m really worried. I know for a fact that letter wasn’t legit now. And I’m super pissed. Not only did he lie but he forged proof to try to get it over on me. I’m starting to get a migraine.

  “Well, Emory was there. When she heard us talking she said that her and Lisa were hanging out, they were on one of those dating apps. I guess she is trying to find her some kind of hot date for something, I don’t know. But anyway, they came across Scott’s profile. It’s active, he is actively searching for fuck buddies, only it’s not his name. She tried it, she swiped on him and he started talking to her. And… Lisa said he was the guy she fucked in the parking lot of that bar that night, the one that drove off and left her there naked. They have been talking. She said she ran into him and hooked up again. They have been screwing ever since. That is the Lisa that was in his phone.” That motherfucker. That is why he got sick at the restaurant that night. He panicked, he knew who she was, and he knew he would be caught if she saw him with us. I’ll be damned.

  “What in God’s name is going on? I don’t even know what to say. Who is this guy? I don’t even know who he is. How did he have me thinking he was so good?”

  “Listen we all get screwed once at least. Dick heads are a dime a dozen. You just haven’t been out there to know.” She actually laughs a little.

  “This isn’t him just being a dick head. This is actually being a completely different person. He has lied about everything he has said to me. Who even does that? And then lied about lying. I’m so pissed. And he just keeps calling. I told him last night it was over, again. He doesn’t get it. He got really angry and refused to listen to me. I don’t know what to do. He actually thinks I will forgive him and work things out. Ha.”

  “He is a typical asshole that is getting called out on his lies and now he is pissed about it. Let him cool off and he will move on to someone else. Just ignore him.”

  “Yeah. Okay. I guess so.” I am just absolutely beyond pissed off. I can’t even believe what some people think is acceptable behavior. Or does he think it is? Does he even realize he is doing it? Is he one of those people that doesn’t even realize he is lying? Have his lies become his reality? Has it gotten to a point with him that he believes his own bullshit to a point he can’t tell the truth from the lies anymore? Probably.

  15

  Scott

  She still hasn’t come back to me. It’s been weeks, and nothing. I have no idea what I am going to do. I have tried everything, and none of it works. I thought if I just backed off a little, she would have the freedom to think about us and miss me and realize how much she wanted this. Not fucking get madder and tell me to fuck all the way off. I can’t stop pacing. I don’t know what to do. I keep texting her and calling her. I am getting nothing. Finally, my phone beeps. It’s an alert from that dating app. Why haven’t I quit this stupid shit? What is wrong with me? I still check it though. I can’t stop from checking and seeing what kind of girl is interested. I open it and it’s her. What the actual fuck?
She sent me a message, on the dating app. That means she knows. Now I am royally fucked. Her picture is of her flipping off the camera. Nice, real nice. She sent me a private message too, but I think the picture is a message all in itself. How did she know I was on here? I guess I’ll read the message and see.

  Finley: Scott, you might want to try a little anonymity if you want to fuck around on people. Try not getting on social media with your fuck buddies and flaunting it around. This is stupid. Lying to me about your job was one thing, fucking multiple people behind my back and using a social media platform to do it is another. Leaving random women in parking lots is just plain wrong. You’re an asshole. I’m so done. Also, I want my signed Lesley Jones books you piece of shit, you probably can’t even read you lying pig fucker.

  MOTHER FUCKER. How did this all go to shit? How was I this stupid? I have to fix this. I have to find a way to fix it. I try to call her one more time. It rings a few times and she finally picks up.

  “What the hell do you want? I thought I was quite clear.”

  “No, you were clear. I just want a chance to explain. Please Fin, please. Will you please come out to the house and just give me one chance? Just a few minutes, and you can pick up your books.” I am begging now. I am fully aware and it is not beneath me.

  “Scott, I don’t want to. You don’t deserve it. But I have some of your stuff. And I want my damn books. I’m going to come out there one last time. We will exchange our things and you will have 5 minutes to explain. That’s it. Whatever you have to say you better make it good. I am not in any mood to listen to your shit.”

  “OK.” That’s all I can say. I am just excited she is going to give me some kind of chance to explain. I go to take a shower and get ready. It takes her about 45 minutes to get here from her place. I have no idea what it will take to get her to stay. Or to even give me another chance. But I will give it everything I’ve got. By the time I shower, shave, and straighten up it’s been almost an hour. She should be here by now. Right about the time the thought crosses my mind I hear a car coming up the drive. That has to be her. I go to open the back door so she can come in, and Sara is standing there with a huge grin on her face.

  “Miss me handsome?”

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I am furious, and scared shit less. She has to go, now. I have got to get her out of here. If Finley finds her here, I will definitely never see her again.

  “Well, that is not the way you greeted me last night. How about you give me that kind of welcome again? Wait. What has changed since yesterday?” She looks hurt. I get it, I really do. But I have always been honest with her how things are with us.

  “Listen I need you to leave. I will call you later, but I have a lot of work to do. And I just can’t do this right now. I promise, I just really need you to go now.” I am almost on my knees.

  “You have never had this much need in you for me to be gone. You usually don’t mind me being here while you work, especially because I cook for you and fuck you after. So, what gives Scott? What the fuck is going on? I’m not stupid. I know something is going on with you. For the last couple months, you have been different. I have sat back and waited, but today you will tell me what is going on. I’m done playing these hot and cold games with you. So, if you want me gone, you will tell me.”

  “Jesus Sara, I have fucking told you, I don’t want you. I fuck you and that’s all. How many times do I have to tell you that? Why can’t you get it through your head?”

  I am being an asshole and I don’t care. I want her to leave. I’ll make it up later. She always comes crawling back and forgives me.

  “Yeah that’s what you always say, isn’t it? And then you call because you wanna fuck. It’s awfully convenient that its always me you’re calling, but you keep saying you don’t want me. Well that’s fine. I’ll go, but don’t call me again. Because I’m done. Fuck you, Scott.”

  What the fuck us going on with these women? I grab her and pull her into me, kissing her hard on the mouth. She melts into me. I slam the door shut, hoping Finley doesn’t pull up. I have to make this fast. I turn Sara around and slam her into the door. Jerking her pants down with one hand and mine down with the other. I push her legs apart with my foot while I reach around her hip jerking it up and back, then I slam into her. She lets out a cry, but she doesn’t resist. I grab her hips and slam in and out of her. She has her hands placed on the door, using them to help push back into me as I drive into her. Her ass is damn near perfect. I reach up and grab a handful of hair, pulling it back, she likes it rough. She cries out and rams her ass back harder into me. She reaches one hand down and starts rubbing herself. That puts her over the edge, and she is coming. Her tight little pussy is tightening and pulsing around my cock, the feeling is so good, it drives me on harder and then I’m releasing into her. I bite down onto my lip, pull her hair back with one final tug, and thrust one more time making sure I leave it all inside her. I give her ass a slap and step back to pull my pants up. She leans down and pulls her own pants up.

  “See I knew you wanted me.” She winks at me. I just roll my eyes.

  “You got what you came for, you can go now.” I give her a little kiss and go to step outside the house.

  “Are you going to tell me what has been going on with you, you are being more of asshole than usual.”

  “Sara, fuck. What do want from me? I’ve had a shitty morning and I have a lot of shit to do. Can I just call you later?” I just need her to leave but not be so pissed off, I still want to fuck her. I don’t know what is going to happen with Finley. Hell, she hasn’t even shown up and might not. Sara is heading out to her car. I follow her, hoping to help speed her up.

  “No Scott, you can’t. If you can’t tell me what is going on, then you don’t need to call me.” And she starts to get in her car when we hear another car coming up the drive. Fuck me. Here comes Finley. I can feel my heart start to race. Sara looks over to me with a smirk on her face. She steps back from her car and shuts the door. Fuck fuck fuck. Shit is about to hit the fan. She has that crazy look in her eyes.

  “You sure were right about being really busy, weren’t you? You have company coming. You wanted me gone so bad, you were willing to fuck me to get me to go just so you could be alone with her. So, this is what’s been going on the last few months. Is this who answered the phone the day I called? Me calling didn’t scare her off. And this is why you made me move out, she is your emergency business. Well, let’s see how she feels about what just happened.”

  Oh, holy fuck. Finley gets up to the house and gets out of the car. She is pissed, I can tell. She opens the back of her car and gets a bag out. One single plastic bag, but what the fuck is in it?

  “Here. This is what is left of your shit after I burned it.” She throws it at me and it bursts all over me.

  “Fuck, what the hell Finley?”

  She swings her head and narrows her eyes at me,

  “I am going in to get mine and I’ll be on my way. It appears you are busy and won’t have the 5 minutes you needed to explain. And that is fine by me because I didn’t want to hear your bullshit anyway.” She walks right past me and goes in the house. Sara gives me a smug smile, crosses her arms and leans against her car. I turn and follow Finley into the house.

  “Finley wait, please let me just talk to you for a minute.” I reach out for her and grab her arm. She instantly jerks back.

  “Do not fucking touch me. I don’t have anything to say to you. I wasted months on you. Yes, in the big scheme of things that is nothing, but for me it’s a lot. I don’t just give my time freely. I don’t give myself freely. You took advantage. And I will never forgive that. I will never give you another chance to take advantage of me again. I’m done with you. I don’t even know you. Everything out of your mouth was a lie. You can’t even tell the truth, can you?” I just look at her. I don’t know what to say. She is right. But I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know where to start. Nothing will come out.

&nb
sp; “CAN YOU??? FUCKING ANSWER ME YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT!!” she has never raised her voice, never. And she is yelling. It’s almost sexy if she wasn’t yelling at me.

  “Fuck you, Scott. I’m getting my stuff and leaving.” She walks past me and into my bedroom. She starts gathering things of hers that she left here. It’s not much just toiletries and some underwear. A couple books. And I just stand there and watch. Finally, I get the nerve to speak, and the lump in my throat clears.

  “Finley, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But please don’t go. Please stay. I love you. I can’t lose you.”

  “Why? Can you tell me honestly why you want me here? Can you tell me one thing that is the truth?”

  No I can’t. I can’t say it, not out loud.

  “I’m sorry I messed up. I know I did.” It’s all I can get out of my mouth. And I feel the anger starting to boil. My inner demon. I don’t know where it comes from, but it always comes.

  “How? How did you mess up? What did you do?” she wants me to say it, I know it. But I fucking can’t. I can’t say it to her. Looking into her face I cannot say the words.

  “I fucking messed up. OK?” I say it louder than I want to. I start walking closer and closer to her.

  “Fuck you, Scott.” She walks past me. And out of the house. I’m right behind her. I won’t let her leave, not this time.

  “You are not leaving, not like this.” I won’t let her. And I have completely forgotten Sara is here.

  “Stay? Here? With you and her?” She points back and forth between Sara and me.