Love, Lords, and Lady-Birds

by Barbara Cartland

  Table of Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LOVE, LORDS, AND LADY-BIRDS

  Barbara Cartland 1978

  AUTHOR'S NOTE

  A book called A People's Conscience by Strathearn Gordon and T. G. B. Cock describes six typical enquiries during 1729-1837 by Select Committees of the House of Commons, from which I have taken the references in this novel. Little or nothing was done for the plight of the child prostitutes and in Victorian times their condition was worse than ever.

  Paradise Row, with its centuries-old history of famous residents, was demolished in 1906.

  Vauxhall Gardens ceased to be an attraction in 1859. It was closed, and the grounds, which had seen so many spectacular entertainments and so many distinguished guests, was built on. The

  references to the Fire Police and the Fire Brigades of the period are all accurate, as are the descriptions of the newspapers of that year.

  CHAPTER ONE

  1819

  THE OFF-SIDE leader went lame and the Earl of Staverton swore beneath his breath. Then he pulled his horses to a standstill and his groom jumped down from the seat behind the Phaeton.

  "It'll likely be a stone, M'Lord," he said cheerfully as he ran forward. "These roads be terrible bad."

  "Bad indeed!" the Earl replied, repressing more-forceful language.

  He tied the reins to the front of the Phaeton and stepped down.

  The road was in fact extremely stony and he was not surprised that one of the stones had lodged in the horse's hoof.

  He thought perhaps he had been driving imprudently fast over such a rough surface, but he was in a hurry to get to London and away from the boredom he had endured in the house where he had been staying near St. Albans for a mill between two well-known pugilists.

  It had been an excellent fight and the Earl had backed the winner for a considerable sum of money. But both the company of his host and the food provided had been one long yawn from start to finish.

  Admittedly the Earl was not easily amused, and he found a great many things and a large number of people to be what he termed a "dead bore."

  It was a pleasant spring morning. Wild flowers were to be seen in plenty amongst the grasses at the side of the road, and there were primroses in the hedgerows and bluebells making an azure carpet under the trees in the wood.

  The Earl watched as his groom prised out the sharp stone which had lodged in the hoof carefully so as not to loosen the shoe.

  He looked at his team with pleasure. Jet black and perfectly matched, they were, he knew, the most outstanding horse-flesh to be seen in the Four-In-Hand Club, which he was confident no other member was able to match.

  To stretch his legs he walked through the grasses, regardless of the fact that the pollen marked his shining Hessians, which had been polished with champagne as originally decreed by Beau Brummell.

  On one side of him there was a brick wall, higher than was usual, enclosing the Park of some important aristocrat.

  The bricks, narrow and originally red, had mellowed with time and the wall was now deep pink in colour, which told the Earl, who was an expert on antiques, that it was Elizabethan.

  The spring sunlight playing on the bricks was in fact very beautiful, and he was just wishing that the wall that enclosed Staverton House in Oxfordshire was the same colour when suddenly a heavy object flew past his head, missing by inches.

  It fell with a thud at his feet and he looked down with astonishment to see that it was a leather valise not too heavy to carry, but doubtless a dangerous weapon should it have struck him.

  He looked to where it had come from and saw climbing over the top of the wall a female figure.

  There was a most improper expanse of very shapely legs before the owner dropped to the ground with a lithe grace which kept her on her feet and prevented her from sprawling, as might have been expected, on her back.

  She had descended with her face to the wall and only as she turned round did she see the Earl with the valise at his feet.

  'That was an extremely dangerous thing to do," he said coldly. "If it had hit me I could easily have been knocked out"

  "How was I to know that anyone would be standing near the only place where it is possible to climb the wall?" she asked.

  She walked towards him as she spoke and he saw that she carried her bonnet on her arm and her hair was gold with red lights in it.

  As she looked up at him, her eyes were very large and there was something mischievous in the way they slanted a little at the corners. Her mouth also curved, which gave her an unmistakably impish expression.

  She was not strictly beautiful, but she had, he thought, a decidedly fascinating face, quite different from that of any girl he had seen before.

  "I presume that you are running away," the Earl remarked.

  "I should hardly be likely to climb the wall if I could walk out through the gate!" was the reply.

  She bent down, intending to retrieve her valise, and at that moment saw the Earl's horses.

  "Are those yours?" she asked in an awe-struck tone.

  "They are," he answered, "but the leader has collected a stone, owing to your abominable roads."

  "Not mine!" the girl retorted. "But they are wonderful! The most magnificent horses I have ever seen!"

  "I am honoured that you should think so," the Earl said with a sarcastic twist to his lips.

  "Where are you going?"

  "To London, as it happens."

  "Then please . . . please take me with you. That is where I wish to go, and I would like above all else to drive behind such an exceptional team."

  She moved towards them as she spoke, forgetting the valise, which still lay on the grass at the Earl's feet.

  "I feel it is my duty to ask you from whom you are running away and why," the Earl said.

  The girl had drawn nearer to the horses and was standing looking at them, her eyes shining.

  "They are superb!" she breathed. "How can you have found four such perfect matches?"

  "I asked you a question," the Earl persisted.

  "What about?" she enquired absent-mindedly, then added:

  "I am running away from School, and unless they are to find out that I have gone, we should be moving."

  "I do not wish to become involved in anything reprehensible," the Earl said.

  "That sounds very stuffy," she replied scornfully, "but if you will not take me, then Jeb the butcher will. He should be along at any time now."

  "You have an assignation with him?"

  "No, but I have talked to him about his horses and I know he will oblige me."

  She looked down the road as she spoke, then her eyes came back to the Earl's face.

  "Please take me," she begged. "Nothing you can say or do will make me go back, so it is either you or Jeb. But I would like so much to drive with you."

  As she spoke, the Earl's groom straightened his back.

  "It'll be all right now, M'Lord."

  The girl's eyes were still on the Earl's face.

  "Please," she pleaded almost beneath her breath.

  "I will take you on one condition," the Earl said.

  "What is that?"

  'That you tell me why you are running away, and if I do not consider it a really valid excuse I shall take you back."

  "You could not be so treacherous!" she exclaimed. "At the same time, my reason is a really good one."

  "It had better be," the Earl said grimly.

  He helped her into the Phaeton and undid the reins.

  The g
room picked up the valise, stowed it away in the back as he swung himself into the igh, chair-like seat that he himself occupied, and they were off.

  “I am waiting,” he remarked.

  “For what?”

  “You know quite well what for, and I have a feeling you are deliberately prolonging your explanation so as to be carried as far away from your School as possible before you tell me.” She flashed him a smile which made her lips curve most beguilingly.

  “That is quite intelligent of you!”

  “I am not as obtuse as you appear to think,” the Earl answered sarcastically. “Who are you meeting when you reach London?”

  His companion gave a little laugh.

  “I wish I could tell you it was some ardent Beau, but I can assure you that if there were one I would have made him fetch me from School and not have to rely on Jeb or the lucky chance of meeting a stranger like yourself.”

  “No Beau? Then why this anxiety to get to London?”

  “Because I am too old to be at School any longer, and my horrible, beastly Guardian insists that I spend all my holidays in Harrogate.”

  “What is wrong with Harrogate?” the Earl asked.

  “Everything is wrong with Harrogate! It is dull, it full of very old and ill people. When I was there for the Christmas holidays, I never met a single man except for the Vicar!” Her tome was so scathing that the Earl laughed despite himself.

  “You have obviously suffered acutely in such a place,” he said, “but is there nowhere else you can go?”

  “Not as far as my Guardian is concerned,” the girl answered. “The loathsome creature does not even answer my letters, and every suggestion I make is rejected by his Lawyer.”

  “He sounds somewhat unfeeling,” the Earl agreed. “When you reach London are you intending to beard him in person?”

  “Certainly not! I have no intention of going near him, and I suspect that the reason wy he does not want to see me or communicate with me is that he is spending my fortune on himself.” The Earl turned to look at her speculatively. As he took in the plain bonnet with its dark blue ribbons and the simple, unimaginative gown, the girl said passionately:

  “You are thinking I do not look like an heiress, and is it surprising when my clothes are chosen for me by Cousin Adelaide, who is nearly eighty, and paid for by my Guardian's Lawyer?"

  Her lips tightened before she went on:

  "I was eighteen last week and all my friends—my real friends—made their debuts last year. I was still in mourning for Papa so I suppose there was some excuse for not allowing me to be presented at Court then, but this year I was sure that I would be allowed to go to London."

  'What are your Guardian's reasons for refusing?"

  "I told you, I never hear from the brute! I wrote him pages and pages after Christmas and his Lawyer simply replied that I was to stay at School until further notice."

  She drew in her breath, then continued:

  "I waited until now—three months—and now I have made an important decision. I will take the matter into my own hands."

  "And when you reach London what do you intend to do?" the Earl asked.

  "I am going to become a Lady-Bird!"

  "A—Lady-Bird?" he questioned.

  "That is what Claire's brother Rupert calls them, but I believe another description is 'a bit o'

  muslin' or a 'Cyprian.'"

  The Earl was so astonished that for a moment he let the reins fall loose and his horses broke into a gallop.

  He steadied them again before he asked:

  "Have you the least idea of what you are saying?"

  "Of course I have!" his companion replied. "As I am not allowed to take my place in Society, I shall make my life in my own way."

  "I cannot believe you know what you are implying."

  "My best friend Claire explained it all to me last year before she left," his companion replied.

  "All the smart Beaux have mistresses and that means the lady they choose is expected to belong to them and to no-one else. A Lady-Bird can pick and choose. If one man bores her she can find another one who is more interesting."

  "And you really believe that sort of—life would suit you?" the Earl asked, choosing his words with care.

  "It must be more amusing than sitting in that deadly School, having already learnt everything they can possibly teach me. Of course I shall be very careful in selecting the man with whom I shall spend my time."

  "I should hope so!" the Earl remarked.

  "Think what fun it will be to do what I like, and not permanently have people telling me that everything I want to do is wrong and unconventional."

  "What do you imagine you will do?"

  "Go to Vauxhall, for one thing, and see the fireworks. Drive my own Phaeton in the Park, dance every night, have a house of my own, and not have to worry as to whether I get married or not"

  "You have no wish to be married?"

  "Of course not! It would be worse than being a mistress to be tied up "with one man forever!

  Claire says that Society is nothing more than a marriage-market anyway."

  "What does your friend Claire mean by that?"

  "She says that every debutante is competing either to marry a nit-wit because he has a title or some fat, red-faced old man because he is rich. That at least is one thing I do not have to worry about. I have a huge fortune all my own."

  "Surely, if that is the truth, your Guardian will allow you to spend some of it?"

  "I told you, he does not answer my letters. His Lawyer tells me to send him my bills and they are then paid. But what I want is cash in my hand."

  "I should have thought there might be better ways of obtaining it than taking up the profession of which you speak."

  "Profession?" the girl queried. "Is being a Lady-Bird a profession, like being a Doctor or a Lawyer? How interesting!"

  The Earl thought of quite a number of retorts he might have made to a more sophisticated woman, but instead he went on driving with a frown between his eyes.

  He was wondering what he could say to this impulsive child who, he was certain, had not the least idea of the implications of what she was intending.

  He could imagine the perils she might have encountered had she found herself in the company of the more raffish and at times dissolute young men who drove about the countryside from Race-Meeting to Race-Meeting, merely to see what excitements they could find.

  "You have not told me your name," he said after a moment.

  "Petrina . . ." she replied, and stopped.

  "You must have another name."

  "As I have told you so much about myself, I think it would be unwise to let you know any more. After all, you might have been a friend of my father's."

  "In which case I should undoubtedly try to dissuade you from this disgraceful idea."

  "Nothing is going to stop me now," Petrina answered. "I have made up my mind, and when I have established myself I might get in touch with my Guardian."

  "I imagine you will have to if you want some money."

  Petrina gave a little chuckle.

  "I wondered if you would think of that. I thought of it myself, and that is why I waited so long before setting out for London."

  "What have you done?"

  "I have collected quite a considerable sum through sheer cleverness."

  "How?"

  "1 sent bills to the Lawyers which I had made up myself."

  "What sort of bills?"

  "Bills for books, for School uniforms, for all sorts of miscellaneous things. I thought they might be suspicious, but they paid up quite happily."

  There was so much triumph in the young voice that the Earl could not help smiling.

  "I can see you are extremely resourceful, Petrina."

  "I have to be," she answered. "Now that my Papa and Mama are dead, I have no relatives left except poor old Cousin Adelaide, who really has one foot in the grave."

  The Earl did not reply, and after a moment she
went on:

  "I am sure I have enough money to get myself settled. Then, when 1 am the Talk of the Town, there will be nothing my Guardian can do but hand over my fortune."

  "Supposing he refuses?"

  Petrina gave a little sigh.

  "Of course, he might do that, in which case I shall have to wait until I am twenty-one, when I get half of it, or twenty-five, when I get the whole."

  "I have a feeling that, as in most wills, there is a proviso if you marry."

  "Of course," Petrina agreed, "and that is why I have no intention of getting married and handing all my money over to a husband to do what he likes with it."

  She paused before she added scornfully:

  "He might be like my Guardian and keep it all to himself, giving me nothing."

  "All men are not like that," the Earl remarked mildly.

  "Claire says that Society is full of money-grubbers, young aristocrats who are on the look-out for a rich wife to keep them. I shall fare far better as a Lady-Bird ... I am quite certain of that."

  "As you seem to have a very low opinion of the male sex," the Earl remarked, "I cannot imagine that you will find the men with whom you associate particularly attractive."

  Petrina thought this over for a moment, then she said:

  "I need not make big financial demands upon them. Claire's brother told her that his mistress costs him a fortune every year. She demands carriages, horses, a house in Chelsea, and masses of jewellery, far more than he can afford."

  "I do not know who Claire's brother may be," the Earl said, "but I should not take his description of the Beau Monde as entirely reliable."

  "He is Viscount Coombe," Petrina said, "and Claire says he is a very Tulip of Fashion."

  That was one of the few accurate things Petrina had said so far, the Earl thought.

  He knew the Viscount and thought him a pleasant but rather stupid young man, who was wasting his allowance from his father, the Marquess of Morecombe, in a spend-thrift manner which had not gone unnoticed in the Clubs of St James's.

  As if she knew by his silence what he was thinking, Petrina said:

  "You know Rupert!"

  "I have met him," the Earl admitted.

  "Claire thought he would do me very well as a husband, especially as he is always wanting money. But as I explained to her, I do not want a husband, I want to be independent."