Too Hexy For Her Wand

by Susan Hayes

  “All of it?” Hunter asked.

  “Try to skip over anything that would amuse the smug selkie bastard.”

  “You’re asking a lot of me, but I can try.” Hunter cocked his head. “Where are you going to be?”

  A few minutes ago all he wanted to do was get on his bike and ride, but that wasn’t what he needed to do. “I’m headed back to town. We need a command post. Tell Breeze and the skirt-wearing seal to meet me at the pub. We’ll figure out who fights, who hides, and how to protect the dryads’ grove.”

  “While baking like a man possessed?” Hunter asked.

  “Exactly.”

  Jim moved back, giving Orion access to his bike. “I’ll be in to help in the kitchen as soon as we find Breeze. You’re going to need all hands on deck.”

  “Thank you.” Orion stopped to look at them both. Really look at them. The easy way they leaned into each other, the glow that hadn’t left his brother’s face since he’d found his other half. That’s what he wanted with Fern. After a lifetime of defying his father’s expectations, he’d somehow fallen into the same destructive patterns when it came to his mate. That stopped now.

  Hunter must have seen something in his expression because his little brother just nodded and pointed to the bike. “Make it right.”

  Thirty seconds later he was headed back to the pub, his brain buzzing with plans for flans, pies, and crème brulee, along with ideas on how to defend the grove, protect the town, and apologize to the sexiest witch he’d ever met. He should probably take his own advice, though, and try to find some fireproof underwear first.

  It was late afternoon when she reappeared. He was in the kitchen when he caught a flash of green light in the parking lot. It could have been a dozen things, but he knew exactly what that shimmer heralded. Fern was back.

  He was hot, sweaty, and dusted with enough sugar and flour he could have gone into the oven with the last batch of brownies, but he didn’t bother taking the time to wash up before he went out to meet her.

  “Hi, angel.”

  “I smell apple pie. There better be one with my name on it,” Shaz announced and stalked by him, tail arched in a perfect S-curve.

  “On the counter. Yours is on the left.”

  “Excellent. Perhaps this new reality will not be a total disaster after all.”

  He resisted the urge to stuff the irascible feline into his bike’s saddlebag and leave him there until he begged for mercy, but he was trying to mend fences here, not break things even more. And…wait. Had the cat just acknowledged things had changed? Was he actually going to accept this mating? If so, maybe things weren’t as bleak as he thought.

  He turned all his attention to Fern. Her blonde hair gleamed like a halo in the sunlight, and she was still dressed in the same outfit she’d been in earlier. It wasn’t anything special, but on her, it looked incredible. Of course, she’d look even better naked, but he had reparations to make, first.

  She still hadn’t said anything, and he belatedly realized he was staring. Oh yeah, this was going well. “Hi.”

  “You said that already.”

  Fuck. “Then I guess I should move on to the part where I say I’m sorry.”

  Her blonde brows swept up in an expression of practiced arrogance, but he noticed her hands were bunched at her sides and her body was tensed, like she was ready to bolt if she didn’t like what happened next. “Okay. Can I ask what you’re sorry for?”

  He took a single step toward her. “Let’s start with the fact I knew yesterday you were my mate and didn’t tell you. I just…you were dealing with so much, and I didn’t want to be the straw that broke you.”

  “So, you decided that right after a showdown with a bunch of demented beavers was the best time to drop that bomb?”

  “Decided? Hell no. I blurted it out because I hated the idea of you standing up to everyone alone. I know you had Shaz, but dammit, Fern, defending the town is your destiny, but apparently protecting you is mine. I was half out of my head and angry at myself for not being there for you. And I…”

  “Fucked up?” she suggested.

  “Yeah. And according to my brother, I turned into the one person I never wanted to be—my old man. So, I’m sorry, and I’m going to do my best to never fuck up that badly again.”

  Her lovely mouth quirked up into a ghost of a smile. “I notice you didn’t say you’d never screw up again.”

  “Well, no. I mean, I’m totally new to this mating thing and I’ve not exactly got the best role models, so… mistakes will happen.”

  “We’re really mated?” There was so much hope and fear mixed together in her tone he wanted to pull her into his arms and swear to the sun, the moon, and the stars above, that she was his mate. He managed to stay where he was, but only just.

  “We’re really mated. Well, mostly. I haven’t bitten you, yet.” The thought of putting his mark on her throat had his joystick roaring to life and demanding to be put in the game, coach.

  Her teeth closed on her lower lip and he took another step forward before he could stop himself.

  “Mating bites are supposed to be pretty amazing,” she said and then blushed. “I did some reading while I was gone.”

  From what he’d heard, it was a life-altering experience that usually resulted in exhaustion, orgasms, and broken furniture. He couldn’t wait. He also couldn’t believe his angel had been researching what mating meant. Goddess knew what weird websites she’d been to. The supernatural internet made the human’s version of the web look tamer than an overfed labradoodle. “If you have questions, angel. You can ask me.”

  “Well, now that I’m back, yeah. But I needed a little time away from all this.” She waved her hands around them.

  “I’m glad you came back.” He finally gave in to the need to hold her and crossed to where she stood, folding her into his arms and kissing her forehead. “Goddess, you have no idea how happy I am that you’re here.”

  “You missed me that much?”

  He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking into his eyes. “Every second. Also, I baked enough apology desserts to feed a small army, so if you hadn’t come back I was going to have to buy another freezer to fit it all.”

  “Apology desserts?” Her eyes gleamed. “That’s a thing?”

  “I think it could be our thing. What do you say?”

  He held his breath while she thought it over. Finally, she smiled, and his heart skipped a beat.

  “Yes.”

  He kissed her quickly, sealing her mouth before she could take back what she’d said. Fate might have made them mates, but he wanted her to want this as much as he did, and by the Goddess, he wanted this badly. He couldn’t understand why he’d thought having a mate would be a distraction. Hell, right now it seemed like the best idea in the whole damned world.

  He chuckled and traced the seam of her lips with his tongue until she opened for him. She tasted like chocolate and heaven, with just a trace of peanut butter. Fern Summers was the sweetest dessert he’d ever had.

  She uttered a tiny moan and rose on her toes to kiss him back, her soft fingers stroking the nape of his neck and sending sparks chasing down his spine. Their tongues danced and his hands roamed over her body, following every curve as he let the moment brand itself on his memory.

  A long, wonderful stretch of time passed before he finally registered that the sparks he’d felt hadn’t been the figurative kind. The surrounding air was alight with dancing motes of green and gold.

  “So, Fern. I guess this means it’s safe to welcome you to the family now?” Hunter drawled from somewhere behind him.

  Orion reached back and flipped his brother off. “Go away. Busy now.”

  There was a chorus of snickers.

  Fuck. They had an audience. Again.

  “I swear, angel. I’m not normally an exhibitionist.” He turned to glower at the gathered crowd. “And this lot aren’t really voyeurs.”

  “Hey now, some o
f us are!” someone called from the back. He didn’t want to know who. He knew more than enough about his neighbours already.

  “I don’t mind. It’s nice knowing you can’t keep your hands off of me.”

  “Did you just give me permission to cop a feel in public?”

  She winked at him. “You may not be an exhibitionist, Ri. But I think I might be.”

  All the blood in his body surged south and something clicked into place deep in his chest. She could snap a fucking collar around his neck and call him Fido because she owned him now. Heart, soul, and joystick.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Fern held hands with Orion as they waited on the road outside of town. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her. She wasn’t alone in this fight—or in her life. If things went to hell in a rocket-powered handcart today, at least she’d go down surrounded by people who liked her. She glanced up at Orion. Or maybe even loved her. And if the bloom of joy and light in her heart was any indication, she loved him, too.

  Her future looked a lot different than it had a week ago. Of course, if she didn’t get this right, her future might only last another fifteen minutes or so. No pressure or anything.

  Shaz lay at her feet, dozing in the summer sun as they waited. She envied him the rest. Goddess knew she hadn’t gotten much since she’d come back to Wyrding Way. She’d had people to meet, plans to make, and then…. A flush of heat that had nothing to do with the weather washed over her. And then she and Orion had spent what little private time they had testing the structural integrity of the kitchen table, a couch, and eventually her bed. They’d talked too, about anything and everything. It had been an amazing night and had left her with a new and unfamiliar feeling—a sense that she was right where she belonged.

  Part of that feeling was the rekindling of her friendship with Breeze. She was grateful for the other witch’s support and understanding. After all, Breeze had been through a similar experience not long ago, and if the pattern held, the two of them would be welcoming the third member of their coven back in just a few weeks. If Luna’s return was anything like theirs had been, they’d be there to help her through the weirdness. The one thing they were all worried about was the question of where Luna’s familiar had gone. Beak Badda-Boom had vanished shortly after Baba Yaga had taken the three of them away, and no one had heard from him since. Still, that was a problem for later.

  As if reading her mind, Breeze gave her a little wave and a smile from her spot on the opposite side of the road. Connell and Snuffy were with her, and hidden in the woods were a wide array of Shifters, pixies, and other wee folk. They’d even talked the carb-guzzling tribe of feral fairies into joining the fight—for a price. It was a good thing her mate had a commercial kitchen because he’d not only agreed to make them an insane number of chocolate chip cookies every week for a year, but he’d also offered them first dibs on the table scraps.

  Breeze’s Uncle Fisk appeared from behind the makeshift blockade that now spanned the road. The massive orca Shifter and his pod formed the backbone of their little army. Their job was to block traffic and make sure the beavers and their equipment were kept away from the grove until she and Breeze could deal with whatever magical reinforcements the Munchers brought with them. The rest of her plan had been delivered quietly about an hour ago by the Snaggletuths. The husband and wife accountant-lawyer team had pulled off a minor miracle. She hadn’t told the others the details, yet. There wasn’t enough time for all the explanations it would entail.

  A flock of pixies swooped down out of the sky and came to a stop near Fern. “They’re almost here!” One of them piped up, her wings fluttering faster than a hummingbird on its third espresso.

  “How many?” she asked.

  “All the same trucks as yesterday but more of the bad guys.”

  “How many more?” Orion asked.

  “All the machines are full, and more people are riding on the outside,” the first pixie reported.

  Connell and Breeze had moved in close enough to hear without getting too near to the pixie dust cloud that was forming around the flock as they hovered. Between their fluttering wings and the scintillating dust storm, it was hard to look directly at them.

  “And one in black robes,” yet another pixie announced.

  “That’s got to be Shade,” Breeze said. “I’ve already sent him packing once, and this time, there’s two of us.” Breeze had on what she called her ass-kicking clothes. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was wearing black jeans, heavy boots, and a dark red T-shirt with the words “Don’t witch me off” emblazoned across the front.

  As they stood there, the distant rumble of engines announced the return of their flat-tailed nemesis. “Okay, everyone. You know what to do. Just don’t do it until we give the signal!” Fern called out.

  Fisk and about half his pod started their motorcycles and roared out from behind the barricade of rocks and earth she and Breeze had conjured up this morning. It wouldn’t stop the convoy for long, but it didn’t have to. Either they’d win the day quickly or not at all.

  The bikes vanished beyond a bend, and Fern took a deep breath. The group of them stepped out into the middle of the road, familiars at their feet and mates at their sides. The only person missing was Tiffany, and Fern felt a pang at her absence. This wasn’t her fight, but it felt strange for her not to be here, the way she had been for so many years. Tiff was needed in town, though. She and Greg were watching over the rest of the townsfolk, the ones who couldn’t protect themselves.

  “You ready?” Breeze asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

  “Not so much, but that’s not going to stop them from coming,” Fern replied.

  “You’ve got this, angel.”

  “This is what you two were born to do. Trust in the Goddess and yourselves,” Connell chimed in.

  That’s all the time for talk they had. A few seconds later, Fisk came into view again, driving far slower and flanked by five other bikers. Behind them, the convoy of Rabid Beaver trucks and equipment appeared, angry drivers hanging out their windows to curse and gesture at the bikers. Fisk rolled to a halt ten metres from the barricade, forcing the beavers to do the same. Then, once everyone had come to a stop, Fisk and his pod drove around to the far side of the barricade.

  Breeze took a step forward, but Fern reached out to touch her arm. “Hang back a second. There’s something I need to say to them, first.”

  “You sure?”

  The only thing she was sure about was that this was the craziest thing she’d ever done in her life, but she managed to nod anyway. “Yeah.”

  Rod Muncher and his brothers scrambled out of the lead truck and stomped toward her, their unibrows furrowed so tightly it looked like they all had mutant caterpillars marching across their foreheads. “You again! We brought the paperwork you wanted, and you got no right to block the damned road this way. We’re just doing our jobs.”

  “Your services aren’t required. The job you were hired for no longer exists.”

  “Yeah?” One of the brothers, she thought it was Peter, sneered. “We got someone with us who might disagree with you on that.”

  “You should take a look at something, first.” She reached into the bag and produced the documents the Snaggletuths had brought her and somehow managed to keep her hands from shaking as she held it out to him.

  “What’s that?”

  “A deed of ownership.”

  “For what?”

  “This.” She threw out her arms to indicate the surrounding land. “All of it. As of this morning, this entire area was purchased and paperwork has already been started to make it into an ecological preserve. No hunting. No mining. No logging. Ever.”

  Connell whistled low, and Orion muttered something she couldn’t quite make out. She ignored them and quietly willed everyone in the forest not to react. If this went sideways, they’d at least have one last surprise for these flat-tailed fuckers.

  “Give me that,” Ro
d almost snatched the papers out of her hand and started reading, his lips moving as he ran his fat finger down the page.

  “Who the hell has that kind of money?” the third brother demanded.

  “I do,” Fern informed them with a regal smile. She had figured out what her strengths were, and she was using them. She could throw around money and influence with the best of them, and she could go full diva faster than a drag queen in a slap fight. “Sorry, Munchers. Your contract is canceled.”

  “I need to show these to someone,” Rod said, glancing over his shoulder.

  “That’s your copy. You can give it to whoever you like,” she said with an airy wave.

  They toddled off, and she moved back to the barricade and the company of her friends.

  “You bought the grove?” Breeze asked.

  “I bought this whole area. It was a package deal, but I was offering cash, and the previous owner had a rough couple of years financially, so they were happy to cut a deal in a hurry, especially when I promised it would become a private park.”

  “Who the hell was the former owner, and seriously, you paid cash?” Orion sounded slightly dazed.

  “The Provincial Government,” Fern told him. “And yes, I paid cash. I needed this done in a hurry.”

  Shaz eyed Orion with amusement. “Didn’t she tell you?”

  “No, she did not.” Her mate narrowed his eyes at her. “Keeping secrets already?”

  “You can spank me for it later,” she teased him. “Besides, I owed you one.”

  “True enough,” Orion shook his head, still dazed. “You’re rich?”

  “Obscenely.” Now that things were going their way, she was enjoying herself again.

  “Fuck me,” her mate muttered.

  “Any time you like, my sexy mate.”

  “Didn’t I tell you? No shame!” Snuffy declared to Shaz.

  “Utterly uncouth. Perhaps we should consider requesting our own accommodations? Something with ample soundproofing and Wi-Fi, of course.”