Angela's Hope (Wildflowers)

by Banicki, Leah

  John Harpole and Cooper stopped by her place to introduce their newest family member, Pepper. The puppy cheered up Corinne immediately.

  “I got to name him.” Cooper said proudly.

  The small grey and black Aussie shepherd was a bundle of energy. He had one spot of brown over one eye but the rest was black, white and grey spots with speckles.

  “He has to be house trained, Papa said, but we will get him trained up in a few days.” Cooper said and sat down on the ground where the puppy romped beneath Corinne’s feet.

  “It might take more than a few days, but these are known to be pretty smart.” Corinne said. Then she couldn’t help but giggle as the puppy licked at her outstretched hands. She was sitting on a stool. Kneeling was getting a little too difficult, not the going down part, but the getting back up part. Her new day dress that Marie had made for her had given her more room to move, but it still didn’t take away the achy and sore back.

  “This little guy is such a cutie.” Violet declared as she popped out the door.

  “His name is Pepper.” Cooper declared again.

  “He looks like his name.” Violet grinned and sat right on the ground to get a good look. Pepper was more than willing to pounce on the newcomer.

  “How old is he?” Corinne asked.

  “Almost nine weeks. Been weaned for weeks.” John said. “I almost brought one home for you. But thought the better of it. If you will be wanting your own we could plan it better and get from a different family. Clive was talking about more Aussie owners last we spoke of it. I can’t remember where he said they were.”

  John and Cooper left after a while, the puppy needed to take care of his business and would probably take a nap after all the excitement. Corinne and Violet waited for Lucas to come home in the quiet of the afternoon.

  The evening was tense. Lucas went over the plan for the night. He was going to join with the men on the dusk watch. Other men had volunteered to watch throughout the night. If the cats were in the area they wanted to keep them away from homes and the livestock. The wildcats could stay in the mountains, but when they started encroaching in closer to town the danger to human life and helpless livestock had everyone on edge.

  Corinne was worried but kept quiet during dinner. Violet and Lucas tried to keep the conversation light. Violet reminded her that Clive had promised to be back on the next steamboat.. Clive always could cheer her up. When he came back from California territory he always had letters from Angela.

  Lucas called Corinne to their room after dinner. Once he had her alone he held her close.

  “I know you are worried, but I will stay high and safe. I am a good shot and there are lots of good hunters taking this situation seriously. We will catch these cats and take care of the danger. I will be home before midnight.” Lucas held her head against his chest for a few minutes.

  “I love you.” Corinne said as he let go.

  “And I you.” Lucas kissed her warmly and let her go a minute later.

  Corinne followed him out and waved as he headed over to the Harpole’s ranch.

  She was comforted knowing he wouldn’t be far away. She said a prayer for him and felt a calm peace fill her. She had to let him be about his work.

  Corinne sat with Violet. Violet was crocheting little white booties, and talking about her husband. How many nights she prayed for his safe return. She was waiting for a letter, since he had been gone she had only received one short one after he arrived to Sacramento, he said he was headed to a place near Sutter’s mill named Nugget Creek.. It was a miner’s camp. The information in the letter wasn’t much to go on but she has read the letter so many times it was burned into her memory.

  She wanted to keep Corinne calm so she kept talking about anything she could think of; last week’s sermon at church, the coming child, and her own hopes for children.

  As darkness fell Corinne felt fatigued but refused to go to her bed. So Violet stayed up with her and once Corinne fell asleep in the chair, Violet covered her and kept her company. Violet was too agitated to sleep. She spent some time in contemplation and talking to God, just praying for the men’s safety and then for her husband who was so far away. He now had been gone longer than they had been together. It only hurt some days. She would try and cheer herself but thinking about their future and perhaps he would come back and they would have enough to start their own farm. But she tried not to dwell too much on those kinds of hopes. Mostly she just wanted him back and safe in her arms.

  Violet felt silly, knowing her arms were good for cooking and cleaning, but not for safety. Men were known for their protection, but she was growing more and more dissatisfied with the protection her husband had given her. He had left her with so little to live on. Violet shook off her negative thoughts and then prayed for her to be able to let go of her hurt feelings. She let her mind dwell on forgiveness again and then said another prayer for her husband’s safety.

  The clock on the wall said it was 12:10 when the front door opened. Lucas looked tired but all in one piece.

  He gently woke his wife and told her and Violet that the watch had been uneventful. Everyone in the valley was notified of what to do if a wildcat was spotted. If a cat was shot it was a different code. A certain number of shots in the air, he said.

  Everyone was very tired. Violet helped Corinne into bed while Lucas locked up the cabin. He secured his rifle by the door and made sure every window was closed and secure.

  Corinne was asleep when he got to the bedroom. Violet had laid out Corinne’s robe nearby should she need to get up for any reason.

  Violet must already be in her rooms. Lucas thought with a thankful heart. Having Violet here was such a blessing. He hoped that she was happy here.

  Lucas said his prayers as he held his wife close. Her deep breathing assured him that she was getting a good rest. He fell asleep quickly.

  * * * * *

  The sound was a crackling sound, like far off thunder. Corinne thought through a hazy, sleepy brain. Without opening her eyes she could tell her husband laid next to her, his warmth comforted her. She wanted to drift back into sleep but the pain in her lower back was pushing her toward wakefulness. She tried to will herself back into slumber. She tried to clear her mind of everything and just focused on breathing, in and out, slowly. She was unaware she finally fell back into a mild sleep.

  Within a few minutes another sound woke her, fully. A cracking sound that pierced the air. Then a scream and another, not human, like a roaring thunderous scream. Then she heard a gunshot.. The hideous growling screech again pierced the air. It was close!

  Corinne sat up straight in bed, fear pumping through her as her brain deciphered the sounds. The wildcats! They were near.

  Lucas was fumbling next to her in the darkness. She heard the distinct sound of a match scratching across a matchbox. The lamp next to Lucas’s side of the bed came to life. Corinne saw the weary look in Lucas’s eyes, and also the fear.

  “The wildcats, I think they were near, dear God.” Corinne said. Her heart praying for her father’s family, the men on watch, so many prayers in a split second.

  “Cori…” Lucas looked at her and his eyes grew round in horror.

  Corinne followed his eyes to her lap and saw the quilt soak through with blood. For a moment she was confused – had she been shot?

  “Oh no, darling.” Lucas grabbed her hand but she pulled it away so she could shove the blankets away. The proof was covering her.

  “The baby!” Was all Corinne could say in a ragged whisper and then the onslaught of emotions forced her to reality. She had lost her child in the night.

  She didn’t know she was weeping against her husband’s chest. She became aware of it after a few minutes. She felt out of control. The horror and the loss were too big to swallow so she just sobbed. It was all she could do.

  * * * * *

  “Violet, can you stay with her?” Lucas asked in a ragged and harsh whisper. Corinne was shaking and holding her pillo
w. She was gulping and breathing trying to calm herself. It had only been a few minutes, right? Since the wild cats screaming and the gunshots, and the blood.

  Corinne was still in bed. She didn’t know if she should stay or move. The sticky warm blood on her legs was making her very uncomfortable but she felt frozen.

  “Lucas, you cannot go out, it isn’t safe.” Corinne came out of her stupor to realize her husband meant to leave. There were dangers out there in the dark. “NO!” She yelled. She was nearly back to feeling out of control again.

  “The shots signaling the all clear were sounded. I will check on the status of the danger first. Then go for Doc Williams. I promise I will not be long. Violet will get you to a spare bed and help you.” Lucas kissed her hand.

  “Please, please don’t go. Lucas, I cannot lose you too.” Corinne began a fresh round of weeping. She was overwhelmed with so much going through her mind and body, pain, and exhaustion and a deep, deep ache.

  “Let me help you first then.” Lucas helped Corinne to stand, she still was crying but the sobs had stopped.

  Violet took charge and the gown was off in a second. Violet somehow had gotten warm water around and with quick hand had cleaned away some the blood. A fresh gown was over Corinne’s head within a few minutes. She had towels down and the quilt pulled back in a guest bedroom. Corinne wordlessly allowed Lucas and Violet to tuck her in. Violet sat on the edge on the bed and stroked her hand as Lucas grabbed a rocking chair from their bedroom. He placed it near the bed and Violet stood up.

  Lucas spoke to Violet in whispered tones; Corinne paid little attention, her mind on the bed in the other room. The scene was replaying over and over in her head. She had lost her child.

  Violet was gone only a minute and back with a cup of tea that she sat on the side table.

  “It’s a little too hot.” Violet said.

  “Thank you.” Corinne said in a whisper. She was numb.

  Lucas kissed her forehead and said he loved her.

  “I will be back very soon.”

  “I am so sorry Lucas.” Corinne finally said.

  “Hush now. You can rest. Violet is with you. She will take care of you.” Lucas had a mist of unshed tears in his eyes and left quickly.

  * * * * *

  Lucas grabbed the rifle at the door and closed it behind him. The pain in his chest was real. He had never hurt like this in his life. The deepest dark hot pain spread through his guts and wanted to split him into pieces.

  The last hour was a blur, the shots, the screaming of the cats then the horror of Corinne, all that blood. He had to know if he was safe to go to town. His feet ran the distance to John Harpole’s place.

  Dear Lord, I will have to tell them. He dreaded even saying it, because saying it made it more real. This wasn’t some sort of nightmare that he could wake from, tomorrow he would go to work in the fields and come home and his darling beloved would be there still growing with child. She would smile, be tired and he would rub her back.

  The Harpole ranch was buzzing with activity. John had a rifle and a wagon pulled around in front of the barn. Two men were dragging a tarp across the front lawn.

  “I heard the all clear shots.” Lucas said, his voice sounding ragged to his own ears. Why was he talking about the wildcat when his world was falling apart?

  “Yes, there were two females. I shot one, and Hank here shot the other.” John looked tired but he was taking care of business. John looked at Lucas sharply then looked down at his hands.

  Lucas saw on one of his hands there was blood, probably from the blankets. He had pulled the quilt from the bed and thrown it in the shed. He would burn it tomorrow.

  “I. Uh..” Lucas felt at a loss. “Corinne woke up just an hour ago. We believe she lost the child.” Lucas choked on the words.

  He heard John and a few other gasps but only felt the hot pain in his guts again. He had said it. It was real.

  “I need to go get the doc, but she made me promise to be safe. I had to make sure the wildcats were taken care of.” Lucas said, his voice thick with emotions. He suddenly was so very weary.

  “Let me go, I will get the Doc back here.” John’s head rancher Hank volunteered. “Go be with your wife.”

  “Thank you, Hank, I don’t know what to say, I know you must be tired.” Lucas didn’t want to be a burden but he wanted to stay with his wife.

  Hank just whistled and someone handed him a mount, Hank was galloping off before Lucas could protest anymore.

  “How is she?” John asked huskily. He had tears running down his cheeks, in his own form of pain.

  “Not good, weeping then quiet. There was so much blood, but she had the strength to stand.” Lucas said softly. John looked as devastated as he himself felt. The sympathy was Lucas’s undoing. “Oh, God.” He choked out a coughing sob and John grabbed him. They cried together over the shared loss.

  “Go back to her. I am here for anything you need. Tell Violet we will handle any meals. I will hire someone to do the cooking for all of us.” John grabbed his handkerchief and wiped his face. His pain was still etched across his eyes. “I will come by in the morning. I am certain that Marie will want… dear lord Marie.” John had his own news to share. Lucas now knew the dread of it. John embraced his son-in-law again and sent him off. This short interlude had bonded them closer than he realized possible.

  Lucas ran back to the house to be at his wife’s side. There were no right words to say but he would hold her.

  * * * * *

  It was dawn when the doctor left. He had made sure she was safe from any danger of bleeding too much. He did confirm that she had lost the child. But he tried again and again to confirm to her that she was young and many women had miscarriages and were able to have children. Corinne was numb and just tried to agree with whatever the doctor told her.

  He gave Corinne a few sleeping drops in her tea and soon she fell asleep.

  The doctor gave instructions to Lucas and Violet. To be prepared for lots of tears and up and downs for the next few weeks. She will probably spot and bleed off and on for a few days but if she bleeds heavily to come for him immediately. Her body will have to adjust to the changes gradually.

  “Her body will still think it is pregnant and she may feel very sad for a while. Just let her talk through it as much as possible.” He instructed. Lucas thanked him as he left.

  Lucas and Violet shared the daily duties, Marie came by later to sit and cry with her step-daughter. It was a long day for everyone.

  Chapter 30- Angela

  The morning mist hung heavy as the steamship chugged along the Willamette River. Angela clung to the edge of the railing on the top deck next to Clive to watch the landscape as well as they could through the fog.

  Angela’s heart was still a bit numb after all she had gone through. There was a part of her that wished she had come back after Ted had left. That parting had been hard enough. But she knew she would always have wondered about her brother’s safety. He would still be in her prayer’s but in a different way. She knew she had to let him go. Almost like another death. It would be the only way she could not feel the pain as much. The rejection was there, in the pit of her stomach but she pushed it back down whenever it tried to surface.

  With God she knew she could handle this pain. Piece by piece God would help her and He would put her back together.

  It felt an eternity of gliding along the river before the whistle blew. They were porting!

  Clive and Angela departed with trunks and bags and made quick time of finding a wagon. They first headed to the Mercantile. They dropped off a few packages to JQ, Clive gave a brief but good report to his son and they were off on the wagon to get Angela back home.

  * * * * *

  The knock at the door surprised Violet who was pounding out bread dough on the counter. Her hand and apron a mess of flour but she did her best to wipe off the remnants on any clean part of her apron she could find as she made her way to the door. Violet smiled broadly a
s she saw Clive upon opening the door. He was such a nice man. She thought highly of him since he had found her this job with the Grant family. Beside Clive was a pretty gal in a dark green dress and a brown bonnet, there was a few red curls escaping the sides.

  “Is Corinne home, or at her lab?” Clive asked. Violet gestured for them to come in.

  “Well, Corinne is not seeing anyone right now. She is in bed.” Violet felt bad for blurting it out but she hadn’t prepared for visitors besides the doctor and family.”

  “In bed, is she ill?” The redhead spoke with concern and an urgent tone.

  “Are you Angela?” Violet asked.

  “Yes, Angela Fahey.”

  “I would think you would be allowed back then, you might be the one thing she needs to perk back up. She lost her child a few days ago and has been feeling low and poorly.” Violet shared. All that she had heard from Corinne about Angela she knew that Corinne would not have kept the truth from her. She saw Angela’s tears form. She wasted no time and with swift motions was out of her coat and bonnet in seconds.

  “Go Red.” Clive said, his voice low and sad.

  Violet and Clive shared a cup of coffee as Angela left the room.

  * * * * *

  Corinne was not tired anymore in a sleepy way but her body was exhausted. She had sent Lucas out that morning to get some work done. She was going to be fine, she had told him. She really just wanted some space to pray and think. Her bible was at her side. She had been browsing through it when she heard the knocking at the front door.

  She was only mildly curious, guessing it to be Marie or Lucas asking Violet about her. Her father had stopped by three times yesterday. She felt cared for certainly but she knew the hardest part of this journey would be just facing the reality of it little by little.