After Care
Page 8
“Those abs are—”
“Enough,” Petty squealed like a girl. He shriveled up, curling into himself by raising his arms and lifting a leg as if to shield himself from the sight of me touching Tommy. It was all in jest, but there may have been some reality to his covered eyes, like a child witnessing his parents kissing.
Something flamed in Tommy’s eyes as he watched me describe him, caress him in front of these boys he mentored.
“What about his lips?” Gage teased.
“No!” Jared shouted, like a squeamish child, covering his eyes with the heel of each hand.
“Words of wisdom said to a bunch of punk-ass boys,” I stated, emphasizing the last three words. Tommy’s mouth twisted, and he bit the corner, holding in the laughter ready to escape. I wanted him to laugh. I wanted to hear that hearty sound again.
Leaning forward, I cupped his cheek and pulled him toward me. He met me halfway, and I kissed him. Sweet, slow, tender, my lips nipped at his. The moment we touched, a pulse shot up my middle so quickly, my whole body tensed, but I relished the feeling, desiring it to happen again and again. Still, I kept my mouth soft on his, pulling lightly at his lip and opening mine to gather more of him. My thumb grew aware of the thick scruff under its touch. I might have purred.
“Holy fuck,” someone muttered.
“No shit,” another male voice stammered.
“I knew it!” Ivy squeaked.
“Mom?”
I pulled back abruptly, dazed from the kiss, muddled by the boldness of defending Tommy’s sex appeal. My brain slowly processed that I had just been caught kissing a man by my daughter.
“I…I…” I brushed back my too-short hair, unable to fully face Masie, who stood next to West at the side of the couch where I sat. “I was trying to prove a point,” I muttered, my face reddening in humiliation that I’d just kissed Tommy in front of all of them.
“I think Tommy has the point now,” Petty snickered, and Tommy reached over to smack him on the side of the head. He changed his mind mid-swing and stood as he grabbed another beer from the collection Ivy set on the low table between the comfy couches. He walked over to the balcony railing and stood with his back to it, watching over the collection of people within the circle. Mortified, I excused myself, after Masie explained she was finished reading and West asked my permission to let her hang out a bit. While I hoped that Tommy might offer to walk me to my room, or even ask me to stay, I’d decided I must have embarrassed him more than defended him. Ivy walked to me the door of the penthouse instead.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I muttered. “I’m so sorry if I humiliated him in front of the boys.”
Ivy’s sweet smile curled to full wattage. “It takes a lot to embarrass Tommy. It takes even more to truly upset him. He’s fine.” She looked back in the direction of the men and Masie. Tommy remained like a statue against the balcony railing.
“I’m so embarrassed myself,” I said, my voice lowering. “I’ve never acted that way before.” I brushed a hand over my head, cursing that I didn’t have hair to pull in my frustration.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Have a beer?” Ivy asked, peering back at her uncle before looking at me.
“I think I’ve done enough damage tonight,” I offered, sweeping a hand down her arm.
“Thank you for not hating Gage,” she said, looking down at her feet. I tipped up her chin with my fingers.
“Honey, I don’t think there’s much that could upset me, either,” I lied. In regards to Gage and Ivy, they were like children to me, still young, still grabbing the world with raised fists, hoping to conquer everything. At my age, I knew better. There was always something bigger to be upset over.
+ + +
I’d fallen into a deep sleep, so I hadn’t heard Masie return, or Caleb enter even later, but I couldn’t miss the pounding at the door. Caleb actually answered it after peering through the peep hole. The pounding continued as he turned the deadbolt and unlatched the chain.
Tommy stood in the hallway, his eyes a little wild, his hands braced on either side of the frame. He looked drunk.
“I want to sleep with your mom,” he blurted, and Caleb’s head swung to me. He stood in only sleep shorts, Masie behind him, while I stared in disbelief at the unabashed statement. “Just sleep with her, kid. Sleep,” he muttered, his voice lowering.
“Do you know what time it is?” Caleb accused him, always my protector.
“No,” Tommy said, eyes trained on me.
“Are you drunk?” Caleb questioned, knowing the answer.
“Maybe,” Tommy admitted.
“I don’t think so, pal,” Caleb said, starting to shut the door, but Tommy stopped it with a thick hand.
“I won’t force myself in, but I need your mother.” Something in his voice swelled my heart. I’d been in this position before. I knew too well the lies a man told when he was drinking, but Tommy seemed different. Oh, the lies we tell ourselves as women. I stepped forward, patting Caleb on the back before pushing Tommy into the hallway, which was an open balcony.
“Just give me a minute,” I said to Caleb while I peered at Tommy. The door closed behind me, but remained slightly open by the deadbolt catch, my children waiting on the other side of the panel.
“What do you think you are doing?” I snapped, trying to keep my voice lowered in case any neighbors heard the commotion. If Caleb was home, it had to be after two in the morning.
“I need you,” he whispered. “Just sleep. Scout’s honor.” He lazily crossed his heart then attempted to hold up two fingers. He wasn’t sloppy drunk, but he was struggling.
“My ex-husband was an alcoholic, Tommy. I’m not going anywhere with you.” The comment brought Tommy’s head up, and he stood taller. David hadn’t ever been able to admit it, but he drank excessively.
“Darlin’,” he said, and I hated the effect that name had on me. My insides curled. My heart skipped a beat, and my head warned me. “It’s nothing like that.”
I heard noise behind me, and I spun to find Masie with my phone and my room key held out for me.
“Maybe you should just walk him back to his room,” she suggested. I couldn’t read the expression on her face, but I feared she thought there would be a scene. She’d witnessed a few in her years, and I couldn’t put her through it again. Not here. Not when this was supposed to be a vacation from such things.
I smiled weakly, trying to assure her with my eyes that I wasn’t frightened, and I’d be back soon. She closed the door on me before I remembered I didn’t have on any shoes. I wore only a T-shirt dress as a nightshirt.
“All right, Tommy, lead the way,” I demanded, a bit irritated.
“You don’t have shoes,” he said, looking down at my feet. “I like your purple nail polish,” he added, noting the pedicure I’d given myself. “It’s a much better color than green.”
I rolled my eyes and started walking, hoping the movement away from my door would prompt him to follow me. It did, and we walked in silence down the balcony hallway to the stairwell and then down to the lobby. We rode the elevator up to his floor in the main hotel and he led me to his room. I stood outside as he fumbled with his key. Leaning against the wall, I waited while he opened the door. He paused once he had it open, pressing his body along the door jamb. Half his body was in the room, the other half in the hallway.
“Why’d you kiss me like that?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine and then falling to my bare feet again.
I shrugged. “I didn’t like how they teased you.”
“They were only playing, darlin’, but I’m not going to lie, no one stands up for me.” My eyes searched his face, and I saw what I described to them. He had sad eyes that held in tears. He had a strong heart to keep theirs happy. He did everything for the band, everything for Ivy. Tommy Carrigan had a solid, outer shell, but I wanted to know more about what lay underneath.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m so sorry,” I said, and his
head shot upward.
“You didn’t embarrass me. Fuck, I wanted to beat my chest and claim you as my woman.”
I stared at him, my eyes too dry to blink. He couldn’t be serious, despite the caveman-ness of calling me woman.
“I…”
“And that kiss, Edie.” He paused, biting his lip before letting the plump lushness spring free. “I felt that kiss in my toes. To the ends of my hair. In my…” He rubbed his zipper.
“You’re drunk,” I laughed, feeling a little tipsy myself just looking at him. I shook my head. I couldn’t deal with drunk, but he was sexy.
“On you, Edie,” he said. “Only on you.” He paused, staring me down, roaming over my nightshirt to my bare legs and back up again. “Come inside, darlin’.”
“I shouldn’t,” I said, standing my ground as I pressed off the wall.
“But you want to,” he added.
“I can’t,” I stated, twisting my ankle and letting my toe drag on the cool carpeting.
“But you could,” he teased, lifting his chin. “Just sleep, Edie. I promise. I don’t trust myself with what I drank, but I want you to trust me enough to know I’d never take advantage of you. Not like this.” He paused, lowering his eyes.
“I just want to be close to you,” he admitted. “No one’s ever talked like that about me, and I just want to capture it for a little while. I want to hold onto it, if I can. For just a little bit.” I stared at him and the brick wall of defense I tried to use against him crumbled. I took a deep breath, loosened my crossed arms, and stepped forward.
His wide eyes proved I surprised him, but he readily stepped back, allowing me entrance to his room.
6
Jive Talkin’, or rather dancing
The crash of thunder and a bright spark of lightning woke me. My body flinched with the suddenness, and the dark room illuminated a second time with another flash of light. An arm tightened over me, and I settled into the chest at my back despite my racing heart.
After Tommy led me into his room, he pulled back his bedcovers and motioned for me to climb in. He excused himself, stating he needed a moment, and returned to tuck the sheet over me, as a barrier between us. I didn’t like it, but I appreciated the gesture. He was trying to assure me he wouldn’t take advantage of me.
“I heard what you said, darlin’, about your ex-husband.” He kissed my shoulder and then breathed into my neck. “Thank you.”
I didn’t understand his gratitude, but he’d fallen asleep almost instantly, before I could ask him what he meant. I always hated this about men. They could close their eyes and their worries disappeared. I closed my eyes and my mind wanted to race through an endless list of concerns.
As the rain rumbled, and his balcony curtain flew in the rushing wind, Tommy snored lightly behind me. I had to chuckle. I couldn’t seem to escape a man that snored. David’s nightly nasal orchestra was terrible, and I often joked the neighbors could hear him. But I didn’t wish to think of David when I lay precariously positioned in the arms of another man. Unfortunately, seeing Tommy drunk dusted off memories long settled.
David, accusing me of cheating on him when he was the one to have an affair.
David, coming home drunk and acting like I was the love of his life, only to tell me fifteen minutes later I was the worst wife.
David, attending activities for our children while inebriated, and my interference, out of fear he’d embarrass us all.
Life hadn’t been easy, and it hadn’t always been kind, but I was thankful to have my health. Selfishly, I didn’t want to think about how I’d like a little bit more than that.
I squirmed, attempting to remove Tommy’s arm from my waist.
“Where you going, darlin’?” He muttered as if he hadn’t been deeply snoring less than a second before.
“Bathroom,” I whispered, despite it only being the two of us.
“No running,” he warned.
“No running,” I chuckled, patting his arm as he rolled to his back to release me.
It was early morning, maybe six a.m. or so, but the darkness outside his balcony doors made it feel like midnight. There was something about rain that suggested a return to bed, and that’s what I did after using the bathroom. I crawled up the center while Tommy lay on his back, one arm hitched behind his head, his full body sprawled on display. He wore black boxer briefs that accentuated his tan. He was cut, as if trenches were dug along his skin. Not a full six-pack, but definitely dips and curves implying firm muscle. It was his chest that was impressive, nearly two plates of steel. My eyes roamed his form. His abs slowly rose and fell at the waistband as he took a deep breath. He’d caught me admiring him.
I fell to the bed beside him, facing the model-worthy display before me. There was no mistaking the bulge in his boxers.
A peaceful silence fell between us as he rolled to face me. The wind outside the window increased, matching the pace of my heart. There was something in the way Tommy looked at me. Thrill shimmered through my body, causing the ends of my skin to tingle. I wanted him to touch me, but he only stared at me. He looked tired.
“You should go back to sleep,” I whispered, knowing that was the last thing I’d be able to do.
“Not what I had in mind,” he said, looking down at my lips.
I had to giggle. “I have morning breath,” I said, rolling away from him and covering my mouth.
“Let me see,” he said, following me, his body bracing over mine as his hand struggled to remove mine from my lips. He was teasing me, not tugging as strongly as he could. “Don’t resist me, darlin’,” he said as a knee came between my thighs. My legs bent instinctively, opening, begging for him to draw closer.
My movement paused his, and I released my hand. The thick pad of his thumb stroked my cheek before his mouth crushed mine. This was something I’d learned about Tommy and kissing: he came in hard, demanding, but he quickly slowed. In fact, he’d slowed so much, this kiss was different. He took his time after the initial onslaught, pressing soft kisses to each lip and each corner, teasing me more before opening his mouth and covering mine. He sipped at my lips, tugging them to his, holding the lower one captive before opening once again. He was flirting with me, savoring me, and I was getting drunk on him.
Finally, his tongue crossed the seam of my lips, and while I wasn’t a fan of morning kisses, I couldn’t deny my hunger for his tongue. Sweeping through my mouth, our tongues tangled in a lazy, rainy morning kiss of discovery. He took his time, carving out my mouth and etching into my heart a kiss I’d remember long past this vacation. Our bodies shifted, and Tommy found his way between two open legs. The heavy length of him pressed against my core, and my body squirmed, searching for friction, but he continued to kiss me.
I wanted to sprint. He wanted to stroll.
We seemed to compromise as the kissing intensified. His hips slowly thrust against me, and my response to his kisses increased. Eventually, I couldn’t breathe and pulled free. His mouth didn’t leave me, though, but moved to my jaw and my chin before travelling down to my neck. A fist gathered my nightshirt at my side and slowly the material rose.
He pulled me to sit upright, and I followed his lead despite my galloping heart and warning head. We hadn’t been naked before, but I didn’t stop him from removing my dress. Instantly, I covered my chest, arms crossing in a giant X. Within the blink of an eye, my wrists were clasped, uncrossed, and I found myself flung back on the bed, arms pinned to the sides of my head. Tommy was in a sort of half push-up position, and his eyes met mine for a second before he looked at my chest.
“Those are some pretty titties, darlin’.” His eyes roamed the firm hills and dipped into the valley between them.
Any woman who has breastfed knows about the letdown sensation. It’s a tickle just above the swell of cleavage, signaling what a female body was made to do. It’s natural, and strangely sensual, and the feeling crept through me when I hadn’t felt it in years. I wanted it to keep crawling, reaching a
part of me that no longer existed, but it couldn’t. Liquid filled my eyes, and I questioned if I could follow through with what we were beginning. Tommy gazed intently at my breasts, but I had no sensation in them.
“I told you, you’re beautiful, right?”
I nodded, not feeling confident I could speak without releasing tears.
“And I bet you had beautiful breasts before,” he said, letting his voice lower. “But I don’t give two shits if those are fake or real, as long as what we’re about to do is real to you.”
I sniffed, blinking rapidly, but a tear slipped from my eye and slid to my hair. He released one wrist and swiped at it, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together.
“Want to stop?” he asked, while his tone begged me to continue.
I rolled my head back and forth on the pillow.
“Thank fuck,” he muttered, drowning out the k sound as his mouth covered mine again. His hips rolled, and I moaned against his lips. Releasing me, he sat back to look at my underwear. Low-cut cotton again.
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you,” I said.
“Where you expecting someone else?” he grumbled, tugging down my underwear.
“No,” I laughed. “But I bet you’re used to leather and lace, and I’m one-hundred percent cotton.”
He flipped the material to the side of the bed and then pounced back, two strong arms caging me in.
“Don’t bring other women into bed with me, darlin’,” he warned, his eyes darkening as he glared down at me. My euphoria slipped down the meter scale. I nodded to agree with him, and his mouth found mine again. While we kissed, his hand roamed, tucking up under my breast and smoothing over my stomach to tease the coarse hair at the apex of my legs. I was soft in the center, and as he palmed a hunk of skin, my hand gripped his wrist to halt him.
He stopped kissing me and pulled back again.