Tortured Beginning

by V. M. Holk

  "Is there anything else you can think of?"

  He is still looking down at his notes, and his brow is furrowed in concentration. I hadn't realized how beautiful his hair was, it's auburn with natural gold highlights in it. Some women would die to have hair like that.

  I rake my brain to think of anything else, I might have forgotten. "Oh, I almost forgot. Ben texted me, my number is unlisted and I never gave it to him."

  "What did he say?"

  I wave my hand, "Something about me looking beautiful and that he would talk to me soon."

  He nods, as he writes this down as well. I take a long drink of my beer, not liking to think about Ben. I light another cigarette and look up to see Trevan looking at me. I look away wondering if he was feeling the same pull between us.

  "So your Canadian," he says with a snicker.

  "Yes, why do you say it like that?"

  "I'm Irish, I was just thinking who could out drink who?"

  We both start laughing and it instantly lightens the mood.

  "Well maybe one day we will have to see," I wink at him.

  He laughs some more, "Your on." He looks around, almost uncomfortable. "Well let me check the house and I can leave you be for the night."

  I feel such disappointment when he says that, and only nod in response. We stand up, I grab the empty beer bottles and we walk back into the house. I show him where the alarm system is next to the front door, and he checks all the windows and locks.

  "Everything looks good." I nod, again not wanting him to leave. But not knowing what to say to have him stay. "If anything else happens, call me, okay?"

  "Okay," I reply as we walk to the door. He turns to me and looks into my eyes, he reaches up and brushes the side of my face with his knuckles. I catch my breath, when he quickly drops his hand.

  He clears his throat, "I will talk to later, Jaylah. Good night."

  He opens the door and starts walking to his car. "Good night and thank you, Trevan." He turns to me and smiles.

  I wake up with a smile on my face. I had another wonderful dream about Trevan, this time we did more than kiss. I hear my phone beep as I get up to get ready for work. I grab it as I go into the bathroom and look to see that it's a text.

  unknown 4:31am

  good morning, beautiful xoxo

  I feel the blood rush from my face, why is he doing this to me. I can't stand this anymore, so I send a text back to him.

  Jaylah 4:32am

  stop texting me and plz just leave me alone

  unknown 4:32am

  now, now - I Luv u

  Jaylah 4:33am

  I don't Luv u - leave me alone!!

  unknown 4:33am

  don't piss me off Jay - already know u had a man there last nite!

  Jaylah 4:34am

  stop watching me!!!

  unknown 4:34am

  always watching....tty SOON

  With shaking hands I throw my phone on the counter. So much for my good morning. I strip off my clothes and get into the shower. As I'm cleaning myself, I try to figure out what to do about Ben. I suppose I should let Trevan know about the texts and that brings a smile to my face. I can't believe I am having these feelings for a man like him. He is so not my type, but with these dreams and seeing him yesterday, I could get use to it. He looked good enough to eat, and I wanted him to touch me more.

  I get ready for work and put a reminder on my phone to call Trevan. I make sure to set my alarm as I leave the house. I lock the door behind me and walk to my car. As I am about to get in, I see Ben's car down the street again. I quickly get in my car and drive to work, not looking behind me.

  I run into work, thanking god that Anne is already here and the door is unlocked. I slam the door and lock it behind me, feeling relief as soon as I hear it click. I can hear Anne in the kitchen, already starting on the baking.

  I drop my purse on the desk in the office, and make my way to the kitchen. I take a deep breath and plaster a smile on my face, like I have done so many times before. Nobody needs to know what is going on, so I hide my fear deep inside me.

  I smile widely, "Good Morning."

  "Good Morning," she replies. Anne looks up at me and her smile fades, "You okay?"

  "Of course," I reply with as much lightness, I can muster. "So tell me what happened with Wyatt."

  Changing the subject to Wyatt, worked perfectly. As soon as I mentioned his name, she smiled widely and started to blush. Sometimes I forget how much Anne knows me, I can't always hide my feelings from her, like I can other people.

  As we are baking, Anne is telling me about her weekend. I am only half listening, because my thoughts keep going to Ben. What am I going to do?

  I hand the latte to the customer, as I hear my phone ding. I take it out of my pocket to see the reminder to call Trevan. It's been such a slow morning, that I think I will actually go to the station to see him.

  Anne is cleaning off some tables, I walk over to her.

  "Hey, I have an errand to run. Kayla will be here in about an hour, do you mind if I leave?"

  She looks at me with a concerned look, "Sure. You know you can tell me what's going on."

  "Nothing is going on," I smile at her.

  "Okay. But know that I will get it out of you sooner or later." She walks over to me and gives me a hug. "I love you."

  "Love you too, see ya later bitch." We both start laughing, and I head to the office for my purse.

  I sigh as I get into my car, sometimes it sucks to have someone know you so well. I won't be able to hide what's going on with Ben from her much longer. I pull out of the parking lot and turn onto Main Street.

  I look into my rearview mirror, and my heart drops. There is Ben waving at me, so now he is following me every where. I'm thankful the police station is not that far away. As I pull into the parking lot of the station, I see Ben drive by and wave. "Are you fucking kidding me," I say to him. I start shaking my head, it's not like he can hear me.

  I find a spot in front and park my car. I sit there for a few minutes, trying to collect my thoughts and calm my nerves. Suddenly there is a knock on my window, next to me. I jump and feel like my heart stopped. I look over to see that Trevan is looking in at me. I smile despite how I feel.

  He opens my door and crouches down to me, "Are you okay?"

  All I can do is shake my head. He grabs me gently and embraces me. I wrap my arms around him and cry silently into his shoulder. I hadn't realized how upset I really was. Hating myself for being weak, I push away from him and wipe the tears violently from my face.

  "Hey, it's alright to let it out," he says softly, as he brushes my hair off my face.

  I look into his eyes, not sure what to do now. I clear my throat, "I need to talk to you."

  "I figured that's why you were here. Come on, we'll go inside and you can tell me what happened."

  He grabs my hand and helps me out of my car. We walk into the station. Trevan leads the way into the back. It's your typical police station with a bunch of desks, some with officers talking to people and some working on computers. Most of the desks are empty, but cluttered with paper work and coffee cups.

  We walk past everyone, some glancing up as we walk past. Trevan stops to open the door to a room and waves me in. He touches the small of my back as I walk past him into the room. It looks like a break room and smells like coffee. There are two gentlemen sitting at the table talking, they look up. I notice the look the dark haired, good looking man gives Trevan. I don't think to much into it. The blonde, nerdy looking guy, sits there not looking at anyone.

  "Hey, can I have the room for a minute, guys?" Trevan asks.

  "Sure," the dark haired guy replies. He hits Trevan on the back as he walks out and glances over at me. Okay, I think to myself. They are obviously friends.

  "Can I get you a cup of coffee?" Trevan asks me.

  "Sure, cream and sugar. Please."

  He makes my coffee, turns around and hands it to me. "It's not as good as yo
urs, sorry," he smiles at me.

  I smile back at him and we sit there silently for awhile. I take a sip of the coffee, and think it's not that bad. I like my coffee strong, and this is definately strong. I start feeling like myself, and glance over at Trevan. He is looking at me with concern written all over his face.

  "I'm sorry about outside." He looks at me with a pained look on his face.

  "You don't ever have to apologize to me, especially for that."

  I look away, not able to look him in the eyes. I simply nod and continue to look around the room, anywhere but at him. I look out the window into the work area and see the nerdy guy looking at us. He notices me looking at him and turns quickly back to his computer.

  "So, tell me what happened," Trevan says to break the silence.

  I look down at my coffee, feeling like a total ass for being this way. I don't understand why I feel I can be vulnerable in front of Trevan. I feel safe when I am with him, it's probably because he is a cop. They are trained to make people open up to them.

  I sigh, "Ben texted me this morning." I stop talking and feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I still don't look up from my coffee, afraid to look him in the eyes. I decide to grab my phone and let him read the texts for himself. I pull up the texts and reach across the table to hand it to him. I finally look up, just as he takes the phone from me. "Here," is all I can get myself to say as our fingers touch.

  I watch him read the texts and write some notes down. He looks up at me, "Okay, it's going to be alright. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will. I am going to have to file a complaint with the court, that he is violating his restraining order. Also, I will visit with him and remind him of the restraining order."

  I feel the fear build, with the thought of Trevan going to Ben's place. I know Trevan can take care of himself, but I am afraid of what Ben will do to me. As if reading my thoughts, Trevan reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

  "It will be fine, I promise you."

  I nod my head, as I pull my hand from his grasp.

  I walk Jaylah to her car. I hate to see her so scared, and not being able to release her fear. I don't understand how any man can treat a woman like this. When I saw her sitting in the car, I knew something was really wrong. She melted right into my arms, when I opened her door. At that moment I wanted to run and find that asshole and beat the fucking shit out of him. I would love to see how he liked it.

  "Thank you again Trevan," Jaylah says, shaking me from my thoughts.

  "No problem, I am always here if you need me." She simply nods at me as she gets into her car. "Call me anytime, and I mean anytime."

  "I will. Good bye."

  "Don't forget to keep your alarm on too." She nods and waves.

  I step out of the way and watch as she drives out of the parking lot.

  I turn when I see her pull out onto Division Road, towards Main Street. My head is spinning as I walk back to my desk to fill out all the paperwork for the court. I am so intent on my work that I don't notice, Jason walking up to me.

  He leans back on my desk and folds his arms across his chest. I lean back in my chair and sigh.

  "What?"

  "Oh nothing, what's up?" he replies.

  "Don't hand me that shit, what do you want." I know he has something to say and I don't want to play this game with him right now.

  "Whose the woman?"

  "She a case of mine, the abusive ex. I need to go over there and have a talk to him."

  "Want me to come along?"

  I run my fingers through my hair, "Yeah, you better. I have a feeling I might lose it with this guy."

  He nods to me, "Let me know when you want to leave."

  I nod and start filling out the rest of my paperwork. I am thankful that Jason knows me so well that he didn't press me about Jaylah. I don't know what it is about this woman, but she has definitely gotten under my skin.

  "So where does this asshole live?" Jason asks.

  "In New Baltimore, Aspen Creek Apartment on twenty-three mile road." Jason nods as he starts the car. I look over my folder and notice he moved shortly after he put Jaylah in the hospital.

  We sit there silently, it's only about a fifteen minute ride to the apartment. I am really hoping that he is home, if not we will have to try his work. When I talked to his boss, he told me it was Ben's day off. I notice Jason glancing at me, and I know what he is thinking.

  "Don't."

  "Don't what?" he replies, with that shit eating grin.

  I want to punch him in the fucking face to wipe it off. It really sucks that he knows me so well. "You know damn well, what! It's not what you think."

  "You can keep telling yourself that. Maybe you will actually believe it, but I know you to well."

  I sigh, "Damn it." I am thankful that we are pulling into the apartment complex. "He is towards the back." We drive towards the back and I see his car parked in front of his building. "That's his car." I point to it and Jason nods.

  We both get out of the car and walk up to the building. Luck was on our side and a woman opens the door to leave. I catch it and thank her. Ben lives on the top floor, the staircase is in front of us. Once we get up there, I look for apartment 203. I see the door and know that his is just down the hall.

  I stop in front of his door and try to calm myself. I feel my palms itch, I want to punch this asshole as soon as I see him.

  Jason puts his hand on my shoulder, "Calm down. Let me talk first, okay?"

  I nod, knowing he is right. I can feel my blood boiling. He knocks on the door, we wait and no response. Jason pounds on the door louder, and we hear a muffled response inside.

  The door is jerked open, and a tall man over six foot, disheveled hair, a white t-shirt and boxers on, "What?" he yells. I can tell he is really irrated by the interruption, he was obviously asleep.

  "Hello, are you Ben?" Jason asks.

  He looks at Jason, then at me and nods, "Yeah."

  "I'm Detective Turner and this is Detective Ryan." Jason points to me.

  Ben's facial expression turns to a smirk. He leans against the jam of the door and crosses his arms over his chest. "So did my Jaylah send you over here?"

  My Jaylah, did that asshole just say "My Jaylah." I can feel my blood boil and I take the two steps to reach him. I grab him by the t-shirt, I pull him towards me and get right in his face. "You leave her the fuck alone, asshole! The restraining order says you need to stay away. If I catch you anywhere near her, I will fucking kill you myself!" I spit into his face. I slam him into the door jam, just has Jason grabs me from behind.

  "Hey man," Jason says. He pulls me away from the door and turns to Ben. "Look there is a new complaint sent to the courts, if you are smart you will leave her alone."

  He laughs, "Yeah. Well I think I have something to say to the courts about Detective Ryan, there."

  He looks to me and winks. "You fucking dick!" I start to go after him and Jason catches me.

  Jason talks low, for only me to hear, "Knock it the fuck off, this asshole isn't worth losing your job over." He turns to Ben, "You go ahead, asshole. I don't know what you are talking about. We came here to remind you of the restraining order. You need to leave Jaylah alone."

  Jason turns and nudges me down the hall towards the stairway. I can hear that fucker laughing, as he shuts his door.

  "Come on, we are going for a drink."

  I nod my head, that I can definitely use.

  I walk in the front door, to hear my phone go off that I have a text. I fumble through my purse to grab it.

  unknown 6:47pm

  UR boyfriend payed me a visit

  JayJay 6:48pm

  What???

  unknown 6:49pm

  don't play fucking stupid with me love

  My hands begin to shake, knowing he is talking about Trevan. I knew this wasn't going to go well. I don't know if I should respond or ignore him, when my phone beeps again.

  unknown 6:52pm

  don
't worry he will get his, along with you. YOU WILL BE MINE AGAIN!!!!

  I throw my phone on the couch and run up the stairs to my room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I need a drink. I go into the bathroom and splash some water on my face. I look at myself in the mirror and hate what I see. I hate feeling weak and scared, but Ben always does that to me.

  I go back down stairs and grab my phone. I dial the number to Trevan to let him know what just happened. I listen to it ring and go to voicemail and hang up. I know Anne has the girls tonight, so I call the next best person, Lynette.

  "Hello. What's up, woman?" Lynette answers.

  "Hey. Can you get out tonight?"

  "Of course, I'll pick you up in a few."

  "Thanks."

  We both hang up, I run upstairs to change my clothes.

  Lynette and I pull up to Chap's and park in the back. As we get out of the car, I notice that they are pretty busy. Good, that way I will be distracted by everyone. I know the questions will start coming from Lynette as soon as we sit down, she kept giving me the look in the car. She doesn't know me as well as Anne, but pretty fucking close.

  As soon as we walk through the door we get blasted with music, and my eyes have to adjust to the dark room. The bar isn't huge, we walk down the short hall, past the stage and small dance floor to the bar area. They have a restaurant off to the right, that is packed with diners, eating a late dinner. They have all you can eat fish and chips every Friday, it's a great meal and they always have a big turnout.

  We find a small table, and the waitress takes our drink order. I don't look around, not wanting to talk to anyone. At least not until I have a couple of drinks in me.

  "Okay, what's going on?" Lynette asks.

  I sigh, "Nothing."

  "Bullshit, Jay! You forget I have known you a long time and know when your lying."