Defining Destiny

by Deanna Chase

  She turns to look at me, her eyes searing me with that intense gaze.

  “What?”

  “It’s not. Just a blanket I mean.”

  The light ahead turns red and I slow to a stop. Lucy smiles at me now, a secret smile, as if she knows something no one else does.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “You take care of her. Jax. Blankets. Sweet-potato fries. Not letting her dwell on Brad.” Her smile fades and her expression turns serious. “I’m glad you’re there for her when I’m not.”

  I frown. “She’s a friend. It’s what friends do.”

  “It’s what rare friends do.” Grimacing, she turns and stares out the window.

  The light turns green, and I step on the gas. The sadness streaming off her makes me want to stop the car and pull her into my arms, but I don’t. Something tells me that’s the last thing she wants right now. She’s blaming herself for not being available for Jax. A few minutes later, I pull to a stop in front of my parents’ house. With a twist of the keys, the engine goes silent. We both sit in the cab, not moving, not speaking.

  When the silence becomes deafening, she turns to me. “Jax is waiting.”

  I meet her questioning eyes. “We’ll be there soon. Want to talk about it?”

  “About Jax?”

  “No. About whatever it is that makes you think you’re a bad friend.”

  Chapter 11

  Lucy

  Seth isn’t just looking at me, he’s seeing through me. Through everything on the surface. Past the stage-performer persona. And he’s witnessing that part of myself I keep buried. The knowledge of that makes me want to get as far away from him as possible. It also makes me want to cry and bury myself in his arms.

  Since my dad died, I haven’t had anyone in my life who could really understand this part of me. The little girl who knows she isn’t good enough. Not good enough for Mom to stay. Not smart enough to recognize the changes in Dad when he first got sick and didn’t tell me. Not strong enough to leave my boyfriend the first time he betrayed me. And too self-involved to be there for my best friend when she lost the one person she loved most.

  Intellectually, I know none of this is really my fault. But inside, down deep, I can’t stop the darkness from taking over. The knowledge that I’ve failed is always there.

  “No.” I cringe, realizing I’d just validated his statement as fact. “I mean, I don’t think that. I’m just glad Jax has someone she can count on.”

  His hands clutch the steering wheel. I can tell he wants to say something more, but he’s fighting with himself about it.

  “Everything’s fine.” I pop the door open, wishing I’d remembered to get my coat from my car. “What are we doing here?”

  “Sweet potatoes,” he says and exits the cab. He comes around the truck to stand next to me. “I’ll make the fries at Jax’s house.”

  The tension caused by his unexpected question eases and a small smile creeps its way back onto my face. “You’re too much.”

  “Come on. Dad’s likely in the greenhouse.” He holds his hand out to me.

  I hesitate. We hardly know each other, and in the light of day, hand-holding seems almost more intimate than the acts we engaged in the night before. The gesture is sweet, and I feel stupid for my reaction. But I’m not looking for a boyfriend. And I’m surprised he hasn’t run already. Jax said he’s definitely a love-‘em and leave-‘em kind of guy. It would’ve been so much easier if I’d chosen my big one-night stand to be someone from out of town.

  He raises an eyebrow and nods to his hand as if he’s issuing a challenge.

  Suck it up, Moore. He doesn’t bite. Well, maybe he does a little, but in the best possible way. I glance away, praying he can’t read the thoughts on my face.

  Our hands clasp, and he tugs me out of the truck and up the front walk. I feel small and feminine beside him. He’s not much taller than Cadan, so I’m not sure what the difference is. Perhaps it’s the sense that I’m being cared for.

  The way he’s caring for Jax. Right.

  This is about last night. He’s just being a friend. A really good one. The kind of friend who comes with history and shared heartache. Jax had told me about the accident, about how he lost his mate. His tragedy is gut-wrenching, losing his girlfriend like that, but loss is loss and Dad hasn’t been gone all that long. I’m sure Jax told him all about that too.

  Dad was my hero. He was the person I leaned on, the one who was the anchor in my life. Without him, there’s a void and an ache inside me that doesn’t seem to go away. Ever. I can’t imagine what that’s like for Seth, but it makes me want to put a smile on his face even for just a brief moment. Maybe he feels the same.

  “If we hurry, we might get out of here before Grace finds us,” he says.

  “Grace?”

  “My mother. Leo will be cool, but Grace? She’ll fall all over herself when she finds out I brought a girl home.”

  It’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “I take it that’s a rare occurrence?”

  “More like a nonoccurrence. I don’t date.” He says it with finality. Clearly it’s not open for discussion.

  “Ever?” I press.

  “Not anymore.” He stops suddenly and looks down at me. “You didn’t think we were… I mean, you left this morning without even—”

  I hold my hand up. “Whoa, cowboy. I’m not expecting anything. As far as I’m concerned, we’re just friends. I’m not the kind of girl who uses sex to find a boyfriend. Not that I want one. I know you’re well aware of my current situation. It’s enough to deal with the mundane details of life without adding any complications to the mix.”

  The panic drains from his face, but he’s looking at me with an odd expression. I can’t quite place it. Uncertainty? Concern? Regret?

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re good,” I say. “Now, where are these magical, hangover-curing sweet potatoes?”

  “I don’t know about hangover-curing, but magical is true enough. My parents’ gift is in farming.”

  I feel my eyes go wide. The result of two mates’ hard work is always something special. “Oh, really. Do I get a tour?”

  He laughs. “Just a quick one. Remember what I said about Grace. Not to mention Jax is waiting.”

  I salute him and quicken my pace. “Yes, sir. Show me the goods.”

  That mischievous sparkle is back in his eyes. “I think you saw quite a bit last night.”

  “Shut up.” I giggle and then clamp my hand over my mouth.

  He laughs. “I hope it was worth it.”

  “Oh, you have no idea,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

  He stops and eyes me up and down, his laughter gone, replaced by that hauntingly seductive smile. “I think I can imagine.”

  Something flutters in my stomach and an echo of our shared desire overtakes me. I lick my lips, suddenly desperate for a kiss.

  His eyes shift to my mouth, and I know he’s seconds from fulfilling the promise our bodies are making to each other.

  I step back and pull my hand from his. “Friends?”

  He lets out a slow breath and nods. “Friends.”

  Our eyes meet and hold. We’re lying to each other, to ourselves. But neither of us is willing to admit it.

  He waves his hand. “The greenhouse is waiting.”

  I pull the sleeves of my sweater over my hands and huddle into myself.

  “Don’t worry. It’s warm in there,” he says, noticing how cold I am. Though this time he doesn’t try to wrap his arm around me.

  We bypass the barn-style storefront and head for the back of the property. Three large white greenhouses gleam in the sun that’s trying to peek through the clouds. The place smells of salt and earth, that damp soil scent of a dense forest.

  “It’s wonderful here,” I say.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he quips¸ smiling proudly. “Their skills are impressive.”

  I believe him, but when we step
into the first building, I stand still, awed by the rows and rows of lush greenery and the vibrant vegetables clinging to their vines. “Holy crap.”

  “Wait until you try some.” He leads me up and down the rows until my phone starts to buzz.

  “Oops. Jax.” I hold the text up to him. “She’s lost her patience.”

  He grabs the phone and texts something back to her. It buzzes twice more. One more message and then he hands it back to me. “Tour’s over. The princess is dying.”

  I laugh and check the phone. “Seth!” He’d sent her lewd messages without telling her they were from him. Now my phone is going off like crazy with WTF messages from her wanting to know what’s going on with me. I tap out a quick explanation and give him a dirty look.

  Laughing, he grabs my hand again and tows me to the front, where he fills a brown paper bag with sweet potatoes, red and yellow peppers, strawberries, blueberries, and a bunch of other produce that is otherwise impossible to find at this time of year.

  I miss out on meeting either of his parents as we run back to the truck and speed off down Highway 1 toward Jax’s house.

  Along the way, Seth hands one of the bags to me. “Try these.”

  Inside is a basket of blueberries. It’s December, and blueberries are a summer fruit. I’m skeptical.

  “Trust me,” he says in a low, seductive tone.

  There’s that challenge again, and so help me, I can’t resist when he does that. Not that eating a blueberry is a big deal. It’s the current sparking between us that has me squirming in my seat. Just friends. Uh-huh. He’s glancing between me and the road, so I take my time inspecting the fruit, then I flick my tongue out, delicately taking in the blueberry.

  The truck swerves just a little.

  “Whoa,” I say, the blueberry tucked against my cheek. “Everything okay?”

  He clears his throat. “Yeah, fine. Just a piece of debris in the road.”

  “Right.” I chuckle. I was watching him watch me when the truck started to drift, but I let it go and bite down on the blueberry. Sweet, tangy juice fills my mouth, and I moan with pleasure. “Omigod.”

  Seth flashes me a self-satisfied smile.

  I grab a few more and close my eyes as the juices explode in my mouth. When I open them, we’ve stopped in front of Jax’s house and Seth’s eyes are hooded as he watches me.

  I can almost see the fantasy running through his head. “Stop that.”

  “What?” His voice is husky, the same way it had been the night before.

  I smirk. “Undressing me in your mind.”

  My words only serve to put more heat in his eyes.

  He’s wearing down that friend label awfully fast. I lean in and press my hand to his chest. His heart thrums steadily beneath my palm.

  “If you keep this up, we’re never going to make it inside.”

  His hand covers mine, and the gentleness of it takes my breath away. His gaze shifts from my mouth to my eyes. “There’s no denying the attraction here.”

  I nod, not knowing what else to do with that. It’s the truth.

  “And I’m not going to lie to myself about wanting you.”

  My breath gets caught in my throat as my pulse quickens.

  “Hell, I woke up this morning wanting you, but you’d already gone. The thing is, Lucy, I already told you I’m not the relationship type. If we pursue this, we need to come to an understanding.”

  I pull away, not exactly sure how I feel about this situation. “Friends with benefits. Is that what you’re after?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I just met you last night. Less than twenty-four hours ago. All I know is there’s a huge attraction here. We can explore it or not. It’s your choice.”

  “Well… that’s quite the proposition,” I say with a fair amount of sarcasm. “So much for seduction.”

  He gives me that sexy half smile again. “If it’s seduction you want, I’ve got plenty in reserve.”

  My insides melt. Yes. If I’m being honest, it is seduction I want. But I’m not ready to say so. Instead, I grab the coffee cups resting at my feet, open the door, and glance back. “I already told you I’m not looking for a relationship. But if you want a friendship that goes beyond platonic, you’ll have to work for it.”

  The truck door slams behind me as I trot up the walk to Jax’s house.

  Chapter 12

  Seth

  I stare at Lucy’s round ass as she climbs the stairs to Jax’s apartment. Did that just happen? Since when had I moved from just friends to wanting Lucy in my bed as often as possible? Right about the time I saw her in line at the café, most likely. Or maybe when she put her hand on my heart and I thought it was going to pound right out of my chest. Hell, she’d had a hold on me twenty minutes after we met, fueled by her sexy rock-star persona. Not to mention I can’t seem to shake the imprint of her body against mine.

  Damn.

  I’m not getting out of this in one piece. I should start the truck and head back to the tattoo shop, where she probably won’t show up. But Jax is waiting for her fries, and I’d told Lucy I’d take care of it.

  With the two bags of produce in my hands, I lock up the truck and head into Jax’s house. She lives on the second floor of a duplex her parents own. They live on the bottom floor. I climb the stairs and knock once before letting myself in.

  Jax is on the couch with a washcloth draped over her head.

  I drop the bags on the bar separating her kitchen from her living room and then go sit on the coffee table next to the couch. “Hey.”

  She opens one bloodshot eye. “You.”

  I grin. “Will you live?”

  “No,” she croaks. “And neither will you if I don’t get my fries.”

  The microwave beeps and Jax cringes.

  “Sorry,” Lucy says quietly and brings a steaming cup of what has to be chai to Jax. “Here.”

  Jax takes the cup in hand but doesn’t drink. “Keenan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Stop staring at Lucy.”

  Lucy chuckles and heads over to the produce bags.

  “Can you blame me?” I whisper.

  She puts a hand on my knee and really looks at me. One glance and I know she’s suspicious.

  I give her my cockiest grin and stand. “Fry time.”

  “Finally.” She pushes herself up and takes a tiny sip of her drink, then immediately starts to gag.

  “Whoa.” I jump out of the way.

  The gagging stops and she collapses back onto the couch. “There’s nothing left to purge. I think you’re safe.”

  “Uh, Jax?”

  “What?” Her arm is now slung over her head.

  “You sure you want something to eat?”

  She sighs. “I have to try.”

  “Okay.”

  I join Lucy in Jax’s tiny kitchen and begin to peel and chop the sweet potatoes. Lucy busies herself cutting strawberries.

  “You’re not planning on baked fries, are you?” Lucy wrinkles her nose.

  “Good God, woman. Don’t insult me.” This isn’t the first time I’d made Jax her fries after a night of indulgence. I reach under the counter and produce a small electric deep fryer.

  “Ah.” She takes a sip of her drink.

  I glance at the two other drinks still in the carrier. “Who are those for?”

  “Jax and me. Want one?”

  “Are they all chai?”

  “No.”

  She pops a blueberry in her mouth, and a look of pure ecstasy transforms her face. Fuck me. I’m bringing her blueberries every damned day for the rest of my life.

  “They’re lattes. You’re welcome to one if you like.”

  “Thanks.” The coffee I’d gotten had long been discarded, and after staying up half the night, a caffeine boost is exactly what I need.

  While I work on the fries, Lucy takes the fruit bowl she’s prepared and sits on the couch at Jax’s feet. The two whisper quietly. I don’t really pay attention until I hear L
ucy mention Cadan. The name sends a bolt of anger through me. I don’t know what he did to her, but whatever it was, he’s hurt her. Badly. He must have. Walking away from your soul mate is nearly impossible.

  They’ll end up back together eventually. Most do.

  The scent of sweet potatoes and oil fills the apartment. I glance at Jax to find she’s already looking better. Her eyes lock with mine, then she looks at Lucy. Oh son of a… is Lucy telling her about us? I’ll never hear the end of it. Not after I’d promised to stay away from her. It’s safe to say I broke the promise with spectacular results.

  “Hey, are my fries done yet?” Jax demands.

  I turn my attention to the fryer. “Shit!” A few at the top are starting to turn black.

  “Need some help?” Lucy jumps up and runs to my side as I’m fishing the fries out with a strainer spatula.

  “I’ve got it.” I place the first batch on the paper-towel-lined plate. More than half of them are burned.

  “What were you doing over here?” she asks, laughing.

  I turn to her and rake my gaze over her body. “Just thinking about that conversation we had outside.”

  “Oh.” She fidgets with the hem of her sleeve and blushes again.

  I can’t wait to see her entire body do that the next time I get her naked.

  Lucy eyes the fries again and then picks up one of the peeled potatoes and begins to slice.

  “Well,” Jax says from the couch. She’s sitting up now with her legs tucked cross-legged. “Isn’t this interesting?”

  Cringing on the inside, I turn to face her wrath. She knows. I can tell by her tone.

  “You couldn’t just keep it in your pants for one night? God, Seth. Lucy isn’t one of your bar skanks. You can’t treat her like that.” Her anger seems to have fortified her. The green tinge to her complexion has vanished, replaced by red splotches high on her cheekbones.

  “Treat her like what?” Anger threatens to spring from deep inside me. I clutch the plate with the fries and stalk over to her, holding it out. “More is on the way.”

  She takes the plate but doesn’t acknowledge it in any way. “You know what, Seth. Like someone who means nothing but an empty night of pleasure. Like all the rest of them you’ve burned through since Elsa—” She clasps a hand over her mouth, abruptly stopping her outburst.