Defining Destiny

by Deanna Chase

  “Jax,” Lucy says quietly, clearly trying to defuse the situation.

  But I’ve got Jax pinned with my stare. She doesn’t seem to be able to look away.

  “I’m sorry,” she says.

  I take a deep breath, fighting for control. I’m seconds from losing my shit. She can yell at me all she wants, but bringing up E? I’m ready to stalk out right now. I would, too, if it weren’t for Lucy. “Okay,” I force out.

  “You don’t know Lucy. She’s too sweet for you. Jesus, Seth. Why her?”

  “Too sweet?” Lucy laughs and guides Jax back down to the couch. “Have you not been paying attention to my life these last few years? I’ve been dating a rock star and have been on tour. Nothing about my current life has been sweet.”

  Pain starts throbbing behind my left eye. “Jax, let it go.” I really don’t need this shit right now.

  “Oh, Lucy, please,” Jax says, ignoring me. “You make it sound like you were living that movie Almost Famous or something. We both know you spent most of your time writing songs when you weren’t onstage. Not exactly the stuff gossip rags are built on.”

  Jax’s dismissal of her life rankles, but I’m too busy focusing on Lucy to say anything.

  Her entire demeanor shifts and a cold expression hardens her face. “Stop it,” she says in a quiet, steely tone. “I’m done with people treating me as if I either don’t have a brain or am too naïve to understand the implications of my actions. Well guess what, Jax? I came on to Seth. Not the other way around. So if you want to yell at someone, start with me.” Her fists are balled on her hips. “I’m not the sixteen-year-old girl both you and my mom seem to think I am. It’s been over four years. I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, and have changed a lot. It’s time to start seeing me for who I am now. Not then.”

  Jax’s mouth drops open in a shocked O, and I get the impression outbursts are rare for Lucy. Jax finally spits out, “You think I treat you like your mom does?”

  Lucy shrugs, but the movement is forced. “Sometimes. You both have a way of invalidating my truths. Though admittedly, she’s way worse than you are.”

  Tears fill Jax’s eyes and she sinks back down to the couch, clearly shaken by Lucy’s words.

  “I’m going to go,” Lucy says. “You need to get back on your feet, and I think I need some space.” She turns to me. “Seth, can you give me a lift back to town?”

  “Sure. Give me a sec.” I return to the kitchen to clean up my mess. When I’m finished, I hold out a hand once again.

  Lucy takes it and pointedly turns to Jax. “See? My choice.”

  “Okay, Lucy. Fine. You’re a dirty whore and you want me to stay out of it. I get it. Just remember, I told you he’d break your heart. They all do sooner or later.” She rolls over and faces the back of the couch.

  “Ouch,” I say to Jax. “Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”

  Lucy shakes her head and whispers in my ear. “This is about Brad. Not me and you. Try not to start anything until she’s ready to talk.”

  She’s right. Jax is generous, kind, supportive and an all-around perfect friend… except when she’s hurting. Then she’s mean, selfish, and petty.

  I grab my keys. “Feel better, Jax. I’ll come by tomorrow to make sure you made it through.”

  She doesn’t turn over, not even when we pause at the door.

  “You’re welcome,” Lucy says, clearly frustrated with her friend. “It’s not every day someone brings you chai, coffee, and potatoes for fresh fries. Enjoy them.”

  Jax manages a small grunt of gratitude as we escape out the front door.

  Once we’re back at the truck, Lucy slumps against the side, holding her head in her hands. “Could that have gone any worse?”

  I step in front of her, my feet straddling hers, and wrap my arms around her. I tell myself it’s to comfort her, to keep her warm, but I know the real reason. Five more minutes of not touching her and I might lose my mind.

  She presses her head against my shoulder and lets out a sigh. “That makes me zero for three.”

  “Huh?”

  “On the list of most important people in my life, I’m currently not speaking to the top three.” Her grip tightens on my shoulders.

  “Cadan, Jax, and…?” I ask, even though it’s not really any of my business.

  “My mom. She’s on Cadan’s side.”

  “I see.” I don’t really. Mom loved E, but I’m her son. And no one could come between us. “Well, I don’t think the Jax thing is permanent. After she recovers, you’ll talk and everything will be fine.”

  She sniffs and pulls back, wiping away a tear. “You’re right. It’s just a lot, you know?”

  I pull her in for another hug, hating that anyone has caused her pain. My protective streak takes over, and the desire to take her home, to keep her safe, almost overwhelms me. I release her, fighting my instincts every step of the way. “I do know. Let’s get you home, okay?”

  Chapter 13

  Lucy

  Why was Jax so mad that Seth and I hooked up? They’re just friends, aren’t they? A horrible thought comes to me.

  “You and Jax,” I ask Seth tentatively, “you’ve never hooked up, have you? I mean, like we did last night.”

  He jerks and glances at me, his face full of incredulity. Abruptly he pulls the truck into a small gas station and stops. “Seriously?”

  I want to curl into a ball and hide under his spare blanket. Instead, I meet his outrage head-on. “You saw the way she acted back there. How am I supposed to know she’s not one of your one-night stands? You already told me you don’t do relationships. I’m just trying to get a grip on what’s going on.”

  His jaw works as he tries to form words. Then he clamps his mouth shut and puts the truck in drive without saying anything.

  “So that’s it then?” I can’t let this go. Jax is far too angry and he’s too defensive.

  “That’s what?” He keeps his gaze steady on the highway in front of us.

  “You and Jax have history.” I say it with finality as if it’s fact. “You should have told me.”

  He speeds up as he goes around a corner, not quite driving recklessly, but close. I clutch the door, my body stiff with tension. Cadan drives like he’s invincible and it’s always scared me. But the way Seth is driving, it’s more like he can’t wait to get to town to just get rid of me. And that makes me more angry than scared. I turn and stare out the window for the rest of the ride.

  When we finally stop in front of the coffee shop, Seth turns the truck off and turns to me. “Lucy,” he says with a sigh. “Jax is just a friend. We’ve never been together. You can believe me or not, it’s your choice. Frankly, I’m insulted you assumed the worst about both of us. But since we don’t know each other very well, I can understand why you might be suspicious. Jax is acting very strangely. And it’s true I have a reputation, but I’m honest and if you ask me something, I’ll tell you the truth.”

  “I… well… okay. I didn’t—”

  He holds up a hand to cut me off. “There’s one last thing. We talked about exploring this attraction as friends, right?”

  I nod.

  “Well, to me, my friends are everything. So if we’re going to be friends, I want a promise you’re not going to push me away when things get hard.” He’s gazing at me so intently I fight not to squirm in my seat.

  “What makes you think I’ll push you away?” The implication irritates me. I’m loyal almost to the point of being destructive. It’s why it took me so long to leave Cadan and why Mom and I are reaching critical mass. I spent far too many years trying to please her, knowing that what she wants for me and what I want for myself are never going to be the same.

  His eyes go soft and he places his hand lightly on my knee. “From the outside looking in, it seems an awful lot like you’re running from everyone.”

  Anger boils up from somewhere deep inside, and despite the chill in the air, my entire body goes hot. “I’m not a ru
nner.” My tone is low and measured. “You don’t know my circumstances. After one day and one night together, this is what you come up with? Until you know the details, maybe you should keep your psychobabble bullshit to yourself.”

  He leans back against the door, clearly stunned by my outburst. Then he starts to chuckle. “Fair enough, Lucy Moore. Fair enough.” He holds his hand out to me.

  I take in his easy, relaxed manner and can’t decide what to think. Clearly he’s a loon, but then so is everyone else I know. I clasp his hand in mine.

  “Here’s to getting to know each other.” He shakes my hand slightly, but mostly he’s just holding it.

  The anger fades, and as I look at his handsome face and the vibrant tattoos, I realize I do want to know him. The real him. Not the person who runs from commitment. “To getting to know each other.”

  He gives my hand a final squeeze before pulling away. “Have a nice evening, Luce.”

  “Wait just a minute,” I say. “Give me your phone.”

  Seth reaches into his pocket and hands it to me without question.

  I punch in my cell number and hit Send so it will show up on my phone and then program my information into his. “There.” I hand it back to him. “Now we’ll have a better shot at that getting to know each other thing.”

  Studying his phone, he quirks an eyebrow. “You gave me your number.”

  “Yeah.” I frown. “So?”

  “You told me before that only Jax had it. I thought I was going to have to work a lot harder than that.” He winks and pockets his phone.

  I roll my eyes and push the door open. “Just don’t abuse it.”

  “Later,” he says.

  “Later.” I slam his door shut, wondering what exactly later means. Later tonight? Later in the week? Or just a random later, as in, see you when I see you? Probably the random one. I sigh, realizing I want it to be later tonight. But I’d sooner volunteer to stay at Mom’s house for a week, enduring her incessant Cadan talk, than tell Seth that.

  I hurry back into the coffee shop to get out of the wind and order myself a replacement latte for the one I’d left at Jax’s house. With a coffee cake and latte in hand, I hurry off to my car, ready to get home and curl up in front of the fireplace.

  Buckled in, my latte in the cup holder, I rub my frozen hands together and rush to start the car. Nothing. I turn the key again. The car is completely dead.

  “Shit!” I grab my latte, my phone, and the jacket I’d left on the passenger’s seat, then head back into the coffee house to call Triple A.

  An hour later, a man with his belly pushing his pants down shows up in a tow truck. He determines it’s not the battery and speculates it’s an electrical problem. “Need a ride somewhere?” he asks.

  His truck is full of so much debris, I wonder how he even sits in it. I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’ve got it covered.”

  He nods and carts my car off to the nearest repair shop in Fort Bragg.

  I stand on the street, staring at my phone. I could call Jax. Even though we had a fight, she’d come get me. But she has a nasty hangover, and I’m not certain she can drive without vomiting.

  There’s Marty, Jax’s brother, but he’s likely at work. Everyone else I know is either at work or has moved away. There are the guys from the band. I have Mike’s number. Or I could call Seth.

  My finger hovers over Mike’s name. I hit Seth’s instead.

  He answers on the second ring. “Miss me already?”

  “Why yes,” I say. “I’m soaking in my hot tub and thought, who can I call who would make this experience that much more enjoyable?”

  There’s a moment of silence, then he clears his throat. “Is this an invitation?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Great,” I say smiling. “Pick me up at the coffee shop on your way.”

  “Uh, what?”

  “Oh, I meant I was wishing I was sitting in the hot tub. Really, I’m at the coffee house trying to figure out how to get home. My car died. But since you’re clearly not busy, maybe you wouldn’t mind giving me a ride?”

  He laughs. “You could’ve just asked without all the buildup, though I am enjoying the visual of you naked in that hot tub.”

  “Who said I was naked?”

  “Oh. I guess I filled that part in myself.”

  I shake my head. “So, do you have a few minutes to run me home?”

  “Yeah, but I warn you, I don’t have my swim trunks, so if you want to use that hot tub, I’m going to have to go commando.”

  “Oops. I guess this is a bad time to tell you I lied about the hot tub.”

  “It doesn’t exist?” There’s mock horror in his tone.

  “Nope.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Sorry,” I say. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “I like the sound of that.” Someone calls his name in the background. “Hold on, Luce.”

  I go back inside and order him a latte while I wait. If he’s coming to get me, it’s the least I can do.

  “You there?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I’ve got a walk-in. Head over to the tattoo shop and when I’m done, I’ll get you home.”

  “Sounds good. And, Seth?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  With coffee in hand, I head up the street to wait for him. The Tattoo Shoppe is in a nondescript building with only the neon sign to distinguish it from the real estate building next door. Inside, the place is spotless and artwork covers three walls. The front is a wall of windows.

  “Can I help you?” a pink-haired woman with three eyebrow rings asks.

  “Hi, I’m here for Seth.”

  She glances over her shoulder. “He’s with a client. You’re welcome to wait over there.” She waves toward the four hard plastic chairs near the front door.

  “Tish!” Mike stands up and glances at me. “That’s Lucy. Send her back.”

  She gives me a dirty look. “She’s fine where she is.”

  “Tisha, goddammit. Stop being a bitch.” Mike walks over to me. “Hey, don’t mind her. She hates everyone, especially those who have a thing with Seth.” He winks and nods toward the workstations behind the reception desk. “Come on back.”

  “A thing with Seth?” I ask.

  Mike laughs. “We heard his end of your phone call.”

  “Shit.”

  “Eh, he’s a good guy, even if he tries to tell you otherwise.” He waves me toward a padded drafting chair. “Take a seat.”

  Seth waves from his station across the room. He’s busy working on a woman who appears to be my mother’s age. She’s getting an ankle bracelet tattoo.

  “Hey, Lucy,” Mike says as he pulls up a chair next to me. “Nice set last night.”

  Pleasure winds through me. “Thanks. It was fun.”

  “Yeah, until Kinx showed up.” He snarls. “What an ass.”

  I automatically start to apologize for whatever he did, but stop myself just in time and scowl. “What did he do this time?”

  Mike gives me a look of respect. “Can’t say I blame you for ditching him. After he realized you’d left, he kept demanding we tell him where you went. He got super pissed when we told him we had no idea. He was a real dick, and then he and his entourage took the stage and spent the rest of the night playing his new songs for the crowd. The worst part is they loved them.”

  My heart starts to pound and I’m convinced I’m going to have a heart attack. “New songs?”

  “He said they were for his new album. He dedicated one to you.”

  An ache forms in my stomach. I don’t want to ask, but I have to know. “Which one?”

  Mike scratches his chin as he tries to remember. “Hmm, not sure what it was called. But it was a ballad. Slow and soulful. Damn, Lucy, it was good, but it would be fucking awesome if you sang it.”

  The tears sting the back of my eyes and I blink hard.
“‘Alone in the Dark’?”

  “Yeah, you know it? I mean, I can’t stand that guy, but that song…” He shakes his head. “The lyrics, man, they’re something else.”

  “Yeah, I know it.” Pain bursts in the middle of my chest. My heart is breaking, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

  “Lucy? You okay?” Mike asks.

  I shake my head. “Sorry.” My cheeks are wet with tears now, and I angrily wipe them with the back of my hand. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “No. Damn, I’m an idiot. Hearing about your ex has to be hard. Especially…” He’s uncomfortable. No one ever wants to talk about soul mates when things go bad.

  Seth stares at me from across the room, his tattoo gun clutched in his hand. I force a smile to let him know I’m okay. After taking a moment to just breathe, I turn to Mike.

  “Dude. I’m sorry,” he says.

  “No, don’t be. It’s not Cadan I’m upset about.” I let out a hollow laugh. “Well, it is, but not for the reason you think. I’ve come to terms with our break. It’s what I need and I’m better for it. This—” I wave to my face, knowing I must be splotchy with the effort to stop crying. “This is because that song, ‘Alone in the Dark,’ it’s mine. I wrote that about my dad right after he passed.” My voice breaks, and I clear my throat. “It’s about Dad, and Cadan stole it from me.”

  Mike stands up, knocking his chair over in the process. “Are you fucking kidding me? What do you mean he stole it?”

  I clutch my hands in my lap. “He told the record company he wrote it, and I don’t have any way to prove he’s lying. It’s further complicated by the fact we’re both under contract, and I bailed. The record company isn’t interested in what I have to say. If I fight, they’ll sue me for breach of contract.”

  By now Seth is done with the tattoo he was working on and is standing beside me, a murderous expression on his face. “He stole the song you wrote for your dad? Did I hear that right?”

  I nod and stand because with both of them hovering over me, it makes me too vulnerable. “Yes. Now you know why I left.” I can’t stand the way they’re both looking at me. It’s worse than when people find out about the cheating. The pity, the horror that the person who was my soul mate had taken something so personal, was too much for them to process. “He’s a selfish bastard who only thinks about what’s best for him. It’s over.”