He tasted familiar. The scent of his favorite cologne twirled around me, and I breathed him in. The thin hair around his mouth tickled when he deepened the kiss, and I let myself go, taking in the moment and marking my memory with every second.
Outside his door, I could hear his mom and dad talking. Just outside his window, I could hear chickens clucking and the normal sounds of his family farm, but everything seemed to combine into a single buzzing sound as my skin flushed, and every nerve ending in my body sizzled.
Just as I was about to lift my arms and wrap them around his neck to hold him to me, he pulled back and broke the kiss. He sucked in a shocked breath, as if he had even surprised himself, and my eyes skimmed over his swollen kiss stung lips before I moved up and got caught in his dark brown eyes.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but—”
I didn’t want him to take it back. I didn’t want to hear excuses. I only wanted more. So, before he could finish his sentence, I pulled his head back down to mine and kissed him again. This time, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his hard arms around my waist.
He would be leaving me soon, and I wasn’t sure when we would see each other again. If I was going to be away from my family and friends and halfway across the United States in Texas—if I was going to be away from my Josh, my lifeline—I was at least taking a moment of perfection with me. I needed something to get me through all the lonely nights I knew were headed my way.
His fingers dug into my hips, pulling me so close I could feel the rise and fall of his breaths against my chest, and I lost my fingers into the thickness of his dark hair. A moan sounded, and the only reason I knew I made the noise was because my throat vibrated. He responded with a similar sound before pulling away once again and resting his forehead against mine.
“What are we doing?” he breathed, his hot breath rushing over my lips and making me ache to kiss him again.
“I don’t know, but I like it.”
He grinned, the dimple on his left cheek winking back at me. “Me too.”
I loved Josh.
I kind of always knew I did, but it was as if his kiss had unlocked the deeper feelings.
“What does this mean?” I asked.
I had never felt like an overly dramatic girl in my life, but at that moment, I heard it in my voice.
The worry.
The need to know and label what it was we were doing.
I hated girls who did that type of shit, yet there I was, asking Josh the same annoying question.
“I’m not sure. I just don’t want to fuck up what we have, you know?”
I nodded, agreeing that our friendship was too special to screw up. “I know.”
Again, he tucked my stray hairs behind my ear before letting his long finger slide down the side of my cheek. He had never looked at me the way he was looking at me or touched me the way he was touching me. I didn’t hate it, even if it was awkward and different.
“I say we figure it all out when we get back and things settle down. There’s no need to start something when we’re both leaving. Does that make sense?”
Again, I agreed.
“Good.” He smiled. “Until then, promise to miss me as much I’m going to miss you. I know I’m going to think about you every second of every day.”
I smiled up at him, feeling feminine and wanted for the first time ever.
“I promise.”
12
Josh
Pulling away from Jenny was harder than I expected it to be, but I was glad I moved away when I did because as soon as I did, my older sister, Genie, came crashing through my bedroom door.
“Are you ready to go, shithead?” she asked, smiling as she fell back on my bed.
“Get off my bed, Genie. I don’t want your crotch crickets infecting my sheets.”
Jenny laughed at that, and I grinned over at her, enjoying the sound of her laughter.
“Fuck you with a big one, little brother. Get your shit and let’s go. Jimmy’s waiting in the car.”
“I’ll be out in a second,” I said, hoping Genie would leave and give me and Jenny a few more minutes alone.
“Half a second,” she said as she stood from my bed and left the room.
“Well, this is it,” I said to Jenny as I grabbed my duffel from my bed.
“Yep. This is it. I guess I’ll see you soon.”
The look on her face was heartbreaking, and I couldn’t help but touch her once more. I reached up and cupped her cheek, feeling the heat of her skin against my rough palm.
“Remember your promise,” I said, hoping she thought about me as much as I knew I was going to be thinking about her while I was gone.
“I will.”
Before I pulled her in and kissed her once more, I turned away and left the room.
After hugging my mom and dad goodbye, I climbed into my sister’s Ford Explorer and waved goodbye to my parents and Jenny who were standing on the front porch.
Once we pulled out and started the trip, I sat quietly in the back seat while Genie and her husband, Jimmy, drove me to Fort Jackson in Columbia for processing.
My decision to go into the Army wasn’t something I made lightly, but without my parents telling me, I knew college wasn’t something my family could afford. And while Jenny had always had the brains to earn scholarships, I played football all four years of high school. College scouts didn’t often come to our small town, and even if they had, my grades were never great. I did well enough to stay on the team and graduate.
Without the option of college, I knew I wanted a camouflage future. At least in the military, I could blow shit up and get my hands dirty. It seemed like a good plan until I was walking away from Jenny. I hadn’t expected it to be so hard to leave her and my family behind. Even though I was only going another state over to Georgia for basic training, it felt like thousands of miles every time I thought about Jenny not being a few minutes down the road from me.
I closed my eyes and thought of our last minutes together. The combustion I felt when our lips touched. I wasn’t sure what had possessed me to go for it. All that pent-up emotion and desire spilled over when I knew I had to say goodbye. I couldn’t leave her, knowing the way I felt about her—not knowing if I would get to come back before she left for college in Texas—without at least showing her a glimpse of my heart. And so, with no clue whether our friendship would survive another kiss, I leaned in and kissed her. But what was crazier than that was the fact she had kissed me back.
When everything was said and done, and if it was what she wanted, as well, I was going to change the shape of our relationship. Over the years and through a few girlfriends and hook-ups, I realized one very important thing about myself.
I was in love with Jenny Michaels, and I wanted to be with her.
Not for her body, which was hidden perfection, but because she was my best friend. She knew me like no one else, and I knew her. She cared about me and my well-being, not because she wanted something from me like the other girls, but because she was a genuine person. Jenny made me laugh and enjoyed doing the things I enjoyed doing. We were perfect for each other. I just didn’t notice or understand until I was older and wiser.
I was going to be the lucky fucker who got her. Technically, I was the lucky fuck who had always had her. After years of being near her, of knowing her and slowly falling in love with the person she was, I was going to step up and say the words.
You’re mine.
And she was. Just as I was hers.
There were other girls, but she was only one who got me.
I rode in the back of Genie’s SUV watching as the sun peaked in the sky, and with my mind in the clouds and on Jenny, we seemed to make it Fort Jackson in no time.
Basic training was exactly as I expected it to be. After being processed, I was bussed to Fort Benning, and as soon as I stepped foot off the bus, things got intense.
“Move it,” the first drill sergeant I saw said
to each recruit as we exited the bus. “Drop those bags and line up! Move! Move! Move!”
Things didn’t seem to slow down from that point on. Whether I was running drills with my unit, rushing through obstacle courses, or inhaling my meal in the thirty seconds we had to eat in the chow hall, there was never a moment to stop and think about Jenny, much less figure out a way to call her since my sergeant refused to let us have our phones.
There were burns on my hands from the ropes course and blisters on my feet from breaking in my new combat boots. My body ached in a way I had never experienced, not even when Richard Clemmons, the biggest motherfucker on our defensive line at West Ridge High School, had stormed his way through the line and took me down several times in one practice. It was a whole other level of extreme, and I loved every second of it. I had never pushed my body so hard, and the exertion made for a hard night’s sleep.
What I hadn’t expected was the limited amount of personal time I would get. My conversations with Jenny and my family were few and far between, and I missed them like crazy. At night before I passed out from the day, I would lay and daydream about what it would be like when Jenny and I were together again. And when I closed my eyes, it was visions of her face that rocked me to sleep.
I dreamed of her on a nightly basis.
Her smile.
Her laughter.
The way she would slug me in the arm with the playful expression that I came to love so much.
I missed her so badly it stung, but it gave me a reason to push myself even harder during the drills. If I was moving, I wasn’t thinking, and if I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t dwelling over Jenny and leaving her behind. Even if she was leaving for Texas soon, I still felt as though I was leaving her and not the other way around.
She was unable to make it to my first visitation because she was sick, and when I talked to her on the phone before my parents arrived, I could have sworn she was crying. The one thing I knew about Jenny was she never cried.
“Are you upset?” I asked into the phone, trying to keep the guys from my unit from hearing our conversation.
“I mean, yeah. I hate that I’m not there for you.”
“Are you crying?”
She chuckled a little through a few sniffles. I couldn’t tell if she was sniffling because she was crying or because she was sick. “You know better than that,” she said.
“Just a few more weeks and I’ll be home. Hopefully before you leave for Texas,” I assured her and myself.
“Hopefully.”
“Have you gone to the doctor?”
“Yeah.”
“What did they say?”
“They gave me a round of antibiotics. I should be as good as new in no time.”
“Maybe you can come and see me then?”
She sighed and sniffled. “Yeah. Maybe.”
She wasn’t saying much, and I didn’t know what that meant.
Did she regret our kisses?
Our touches?
The way I made her body weep with my fingers?
Was our relationship different?
Did I ruin our friendship?
“Are we okay?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
She answered my question with a question. That was never a good thing.
“I mean, are we okay? Like after everything that happened.”
The kiss.
My hands inside your panties.
Why couldn’t I say it?
I wasn’t embarrassed by it, but I was scared to death that things would never be the same between us.
“Oh. Of course, we’re okay. I’m just not feeling well.”
I spent most of visitation wishing Jenny was there. I enjoyed my time with Mom and Dad, but a dark cloud hung over the moment, and I knew it was filled with worry. I hated not being able to go down the road with a bag of gummy bears and make things better.
By the time I was graduating from basic, Jenny and I were barely talking. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but it seemed something always came up. I got pulled away. Her phone died. We couldn’t Skype because the signal was shit.
It was always something.
When graduation came, and I saw her with my parents in the crowd, the sense of relief that moved over me made my knees shake. How I got through graduation without falling was beyond me. The second we were dismissed and able to socialize with our families, and I saw her across the field walking my way, my heart skipped a beat. We had never gone so long without seeing each other, and knowing things were different between us made it all the better.
Mom hugged me first, moving to the side so Dad could wrap an arm around my shoulder.
“I’m so proud of you, honey,” Mom said into my ear.
“Looks like you’re getting skinny. Are they feeding you here, boy?”
I nodded. “Yes, sir. We get plenty to eat.”
Genie stepped forward and hugged me, and my eyes went to Jenny, who was standing behind my family waiting her turn. She smiled and hugged herself.
She was nervous.
I understood. Even though Jenny and I were always together, I was feeling nervous myself.
She had on one of her nicer T-shirts and a pair of jeans that hugged her body like I had been dreaming of for the past few weeks. Her hair was down, which was rare, but she had a hair tie around her wrist, waiting until the appropriate time to pull it up into her signature ponytail.
“I guess I missed you, little brother.”
I chuckled. “Thanks. I guess I missed you too.”
Then it was Jenny’s turn.
I held my breath as she stepped into my arms, and I pulled her into me. Her long hair tickled my cheek, and I breathed her in, taking in her familiar scent and sighing in relief. I didn’t know if it was obvious to her and my family, but I wasn’t sure I cared.
“I missed you so fucking much,” I whispered in her ear.
Her arms tightened around me. “I missed you more.”
Impossible.
We went to a local restaurant to celebrate, and I ate like I hadn’t eaten properly in months. The food wasn’t terrible at basic, but everything was rushed, so I hadn’t enjoyed a meal since I entered. After we finished dinner, we sat around the table while everyone filled me in on the goings-on in town.
It was good to spend the day with my family after graduation, but I knew it couldn’t last long. I was checking in with my new unit at Sand Hill for One Station Unit Training that night, which meant I had to be back at the barracks to gather my belongings and check out of my unit for out processing.
Jenny had driven her dad’s truck, so when it was time for Mom and Dad to drop me off at the barracks, it also meant it was time for me to tell Jenny bye. I didn’t want to. I wanted to see more of her. I wanted her to stay longer.
I hugged her, and without thinking, I whispered in her ear. “Don’t leave yet. Come to the barracks.”
She pulled away with a look of confusion and then nodded her understanding.
I didn’t want to rush my parents and sister when they were dropping me off, but it was getting late, and I had seen Jenny pull in and park on the edge of the lot in the dark beneath a set of old oaks.
I waited until my parents and sister were loaded in the car and pulling away before I made my way across the dark parking lot to where Jenny was parked. She got out and closed the door behind her.
“Hey. Everything okay?” she asked with a concerned look on her gorgeous face.
I didn’t answer.
Instead, I went to her, collected her face in my palms, and kissed her like I would never kiss her again.
13
Jenny
I kissed him back. I had been dreaming of kissing him since he left for basic, but the second I saw him in his uniform, it was over. I couldn’t control myself. I pushed into him, needing to feel his body against mine. Needing to know he was there.
Being around him with his parents near had been hell. All I wanted to do was kiss him. Hold
him to me. When he asked me to come back to the barracks, I was more than happy to do so.
I hadn’t expected him to move straight in with a kiss, but I wasn’t about to stop him. He pushed me against Daddy’s truck, and I lost my hands in his hair, knocking his hat from his head.
“I’ve wanted to do this all fucking day,” he said against my lips.
“Me too. What if we get caught out here?”
“I don’t care.”
We muttered between kisses.
His hands slid around my sides before moving down and cupping my ass. He pulled them away and began to move away, but I didn’t want that.
“Don’t stop,” I said, grabbing his hands and putting them back on my ass.
He chuckled against lips.
His tongue swiped against mine, and I moaned.
My moan triggered something, and he squeezed my ass and growled. He lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Reaching behind me, I pulled at the door handle until it popped open.
I broke kiss and leaned down to nibble his neck.
“Fuck,” he breathed.
“Inside,” I directed.
We continued to kiss as we climbed into Dad’s truck. Once we were inside, I climbed onto his lap and straddled him. Thankfully, we were in a dark corner of the parking lot because it didn’t take long for Josh to pull my shirt off. He kissed my neck and worked his way down my chest until he was pulling my bra to the side and sucking my nipple.
I pulled his head to me, cradling it in my grasp while I threw my head back and let him feast on me.
“God, what are we doing?” I breathed.
He didn’t answer, and I was fine with that if his mouth stayed against my skin.
He moved to my other breast and sucked, moving his head back and forth as if he were devouring me. Already, I felt close to orgasm. My insides were trembling, my pussy throbbing. Grabbing his hand, I stuck it between my legs.
“Touch me,” I demanded.
He massaged me through my jeans, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more.
Pulling away, I leaned back and unbuttoned my jeans. Then I moved off his lap and pulled them down my thighs and over my calves until I had to pluck my shoes off to get them over my ankles.
Thick & Thin (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 3) Page 9
