Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel

by Julia Goda

  Another “okay,” came out of my mouth. I sounded like a complete idiot, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything more.

  “I know we won’t be staying here year round, but I want us to have exactly what we want for when we’re in L.A.” I said nothing this time. “You’re very complacent. What happened to my little firecracker?” Jason asked in a soft and teasing voice.

  I shrugged. “I just can’t believe we’re standing here, talking about our future and our dream house like that. I can’t believe it’s all real.”

  “Believe it, baby. It’s real. And nobody and nothing will ever take it away from us again. I won’t let them.” I leaned my head back to find his mouth and kissed him with everything I had. It was deep and passionate at the same time it was loving and cherishing. It was everything.

  Jason pulled his mouth away from mine and we both breathed heavily. “You. Naked. In the hot tub. Right now.” I shivered at his words as a soft moan escaped my lips, making Jason take my mouth again with a growl.

  “I love you, Loreley. So much it hurts.” He gripped the edge of my shirt, pulled it up and over my head, and let it fall to the floor. Then his hands were at the button of my jeans. I stood there, breathing hard, as he undressed me, then watched as he undressed himself. When we were both naked, he lifted me up into his arms, and I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Neither of us said anything as we stared into each other’s eyes in complete understanding.

  This was it.

  This was us.

  This was what we were supposed to be.

  Together.

  And it felt absolutely beautiful.

  I could feel his erection pulse between my legs as he walked us onto the deck and into the hot tub. As soon as we were submerged to our chests, he crushed his mouth down on mine in a searing hot kiss. All I could do was let him as he explored every inch of my mouth with his hot tongue. His hands were roaming my body. They were everywhere, touching me, gripping me, massaging me, pushing me higher and higher. I gripped his hair and held on as I gave myself over to him completely. His mouth released mine and moved down my neck over my collarbone down to my nipples. He licked and nipped and bit, making me writhe in his arms, rubbing against him. I needed him inside me so desperately that I started begging.

  “Please, baby, I need you.”

  “You’ll get me. Let me play first.” I moaned, not sure I would be able to hold on as he kept torturing me, bringing me to the brink then backing off, over and over again, until finally, I could feel the tip of him pressing against my entrance. I braced for it, wanted it, needed it, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes and found his on me.

  “Say my name,” he growled, his teeth clenched. His body was shaking with the effort of holding back.

  “Jason,” I breathed, my voice needy and begging.

  “Say you love me.”

  “I love you.”

  “Say you need me.”

  “I need you.”

  “Say that you’re mine.”

  I gripped his hair and pulled his face close to mine. “I’m yours. Forever.” He groaned and slammed into me with one swift thrust. Our eyes stayed connected as he moved, slowly pulling out of me, then slamming back in so forcefully it bordered on pain, the good kind of pain. I moaned as I moved with him, urging him to go faster, to thrust deeper. He gave in and let go, his thrusts becoming irregular and uncontrolled. I closed my eyes in bliss.

  “Eyes, baby. I want to see you.” My eyes snapped open to his. They were burning with fire and passion and a love so deep it almost hurt looking. My breath hitched and he went even faster, his hard cock touching every sensitive spot inside me. I was close to coming.

  “I feel it. You feel so good, baby.” His mouth took mine again, but our eyes stayed open and connected. His hand on my breast tweaked my nipple at the same time the thumb of his other hand pressed my clit, pushing me over the edge. I heard his groan as I exploded around him and felt it when his cock swelled inside me and he came with me.

  When we came down, we were both breathing hard. We kept holding on to each other and staring into each other’s eyes and waiting for our breathing to even out.

  “Marry me,” Jason said to my surprise.

  I giggled. “I already said yes.”

  Jason grinned. “So you did.” He brushed his lips against mine and murmured, “I mean right now, today.” I stilled in his arms and searched his eyes. He was completely serious.

  “Today?” I almost screeched.

  Jason tightened his grip around me. “Today.” His voice held no doubt. He didn’t want to wait any longer. He wanted to get married now.

  “How?” I asked, dumbfounded.

  “You want a big wedding?” I shook my head. I had hoped we could have a small wedding, maybe in my dad’s backyard, with only our closest friends and family.

  “Me neither,” he said. “We could get married here, on the beach, just you and me.” That sounded perfect, so perfect I almost gave in.

  “But what about my dad? And Chris and Cal and everyone else?”

  “We can have another ceremony for them when we get back to Colorado. But I want you to be mine now. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

  “I’m already yours.”

  “I want you to have my name, to wear my ring for everyone to see. I ache for it, Loreley. Please, say yes.” He nibbled my lips as he said this. I wanted that, too, for him to wear my ring. And I wanted to carry his name, be his completely.

  “Yes,” I whispered against his lips and he stilled.

  “Yes? You’re gonna marry me today?” His eyes shone with pure happiness. I nodded and he crushed me against him, squeezing me so tightly it was hard to breathe.

  “Thank you, baby. You have no idea how happy you make me.”

  “I do have an idea,” I said, “because you make me just as happy.” His lips took mine again in a soft and loving kiss.

  “All right, as much as I would love to spend all day with you wrapped around me naked and wet, I’ve got a few phone calls to make, very-soon-to-be Mrs. Sanders.” My heart jumped in joy and excitement at hearing him calling me that, telling me I’d made the right decision. He stood up with me still wrapped around him and walked out of the hot tub then put me on my feet and reached for a towel. He wrapped me up in it before he reached for another one for himself and wrapped that around his waist, then grabbed my hand and led me into the house.

  I heard noises as soon as we crossed the threshold, and so did Jason. He changed directions and walked to where the noises were coming from. “Good, Maggie’s here. I can introduce you.”

  “Maggie?” I asked, not accusingly, but appalled. He was going to introduce me to someone while I was wearing nothing but a towel?

  “Maggie. She’s my assistant. You’ll like her. And she’ll be thrilled to finally meet you.”

  “Jason, I’m naked under this towel!” He really had to pull me behind him now since I was resisting and trying to pull my hand from his. He smirked at me over his shoulder. “I know.” I glared at him and he chuckled. We drew closer and I could hear voices now. One of them was Frank’s, the other a woman’s I didn’t recognize but assumed was Maggie. Then she laughed and I couldn’t help but smile at hearing that laugh, it was so great and genuine. Then we entered what looked like an office on the other end of the house and I saw her at the same time she saw me. Her face split into an even bigger smile than was already on her face and she leaped towards me and grabbed me in a big hug, surprising me. She was so enthusiastic that I had to wrap my arms around her and take a step back to prevent us from going down. When I looked up, I saw both men grinning at us. Frank was shaking his head.

  “I’m so happy to finally meet you!” Maggie released me and jumped up and down in excitement, clapping her hands. She reminded me of Macy.

  “It’s nice to meet you, too, though I would have preferred to wear clothes while I did.” I send another glare in Jason’s direction, but his grin
didn’t falter. I made sure that my towel was still safely attached and hiked it up a little so it didn’t show any more than it should. Maggie gazed first at my appearance then at Jason’s then she grinned in delight.

  “So, you’re Maggie,” I broke the, for me, awkward silence and tried to act as if I wasn’t half-naked.

  “Yep. I’m Maggie. The hot shot’s personal assistant. I do everything and anything he needs or doesn’t want to do himself and don’t get paid nearly enough for it.” She stated promptly and hilariously, making me snicker. I had a feeling Maggie and I would get along, no problem. She had an attitude, the good kind, along with a lot of energy, and I bet she didn’t take anyone’s shit, not even Jason’s, and I liked that.

  Now that she had released me, Jason claimed me back with an arm around my waist. “You need to get on your phone and do your magic. You’ve got a wedding to plan,” he told Maggie.

  “A wedding? Yay!” She screeched again as she clapped her hands before she got down to business and took out her phone. “Okay. I need specifics. When, where, who needs to be invited?”

  “This afternoon, the beach, and no one. It’s just gonna be the two of us. And keep it on the down low. I don’t want the press to get wind of it.” Frank burst out laughing. “Jeez, man, you don’t let any grass grow, do you?” I giggled since that wasn’t the first time we’d heard that.

  Maggie’s eyes bulged out of her head. “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope,” Jason stated proudly. I wasn’t sure if he was answering Frank or Maggie, but it didn’t matter. Maggie’s eyes came to me. “Please tell me you won’t let him steamroll you like that.”

  I shrugged. “I want to be married to him. We’ve wasted enough time. So why wait?” Jason squeezed my waist and kissed my temple. Maggie watched us for a few moments before she shrugged and said, “Can’t argue with that,” as she unlocked her phone and started to scroll through it. I had assumed by the way she had greeted me and by what both Jason and her had said about finally meeting me that she knew our story and her words confirmed it.

  “And call Robert, too. I’m sure he has some forms for me to sign before we get married. There’re a few things Loreley and I have to discuss with him.”

  “Already on it,” Maggie muttered with the phone at her ear as she wandered away from us towards the living room.

  “Who’s Robert?” I asked.

  “My lawyer.”

  “And what do we have to discuss with him?”

  “Lots of things, but what I really want him to look into is what it would take to change Jesse’s last name.” Tears instantly came to my eyes and my lower lip trembled.

  “Hey. None of that. As of this afternoon, you’ll be carrying my name for the rest of your life and Jesse was our son. I want him to have the same name we do.” All I could do was stare at him. God, I loved this man.

  “Are you okay with that?” His thumb was caressing my cheekbone as he looked into my eyes questioningly. Was I okay with that? How could I not be? It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard.

  “Of course I am. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Relief and gratitude flashed through Jason’s eyes and he kissed my forehead lovingly.

  “All right you. Let’s get dressed. First stop, Robert; then dress shopping, then rings, and then I have a surprise for you.”

  “A surprise?” I wasn’t a big fan of surprises but I could tell by the gleam in his eyes that I would like this one.

  “Yup. Let’s go.” He took my hand again and as he led me out of the office I saw Frank’s gaze on us. It was warm, happy, and relieved. He was happy for us. That meant a lot since it seemed like Frank was one of the few close friends Jason had aside from the band. Frank and Maggie. I gave him a small smile over my shoulder and he winked at me. Holy heck! That guy was hot in general, but when he smiled like that and winked I doubted any woman’s panties didn’t disintegrate on the spot. Good thing I wasn’t wearing any. And good thing Jason hadn’t noticed. Or so I thought.

  “You done drooling?” Jason asked over his shoulder, a smile playing around his lips. I tried to school my features even though I knew he had seen. “What’s that, honey?”

  Jason chuckled low. “Nice try. It’s okay. I’m not jealous. I know Frank would never go there just like I know that neither would you.”

  That was news to me. He had always been the jealous type.

  “But yesterday with Nathan—”

  “That was different,” he interrupted me. “Nathan has always liked you and I know for a fact that he would have gone after you if I hadn’t gotten there first. With Frank, I know it would never happen. Besides you, he’s probably the only person I trust completely and undoubtedly. It also doesn’t hurt that I know he’s got his eyes set on someone else.” I scowled at his words.

  “Who?” I asked, instantly curious.

  Jason shook his head. “Nope. Not my secret to share. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out for yourself.”

  Hmm, I would have to keep my eyes open for sure. I was dying to know who Frank had his eyes on and why he hadn’t done anything about it. But there was something else Jason said that bugged me.

  “Frank is the only person you trust one hundred percent?” I didn’t like the thought of that. That meant he really had been all alone these past six years, and it made my heart hurt for him.

  “And you.”

  “What about the band?”

  “I trust the band, mostly. They’re like my brothers, but things haven’t been smooth in a long time. I hardly ever talk to any of them but Nathan when we’re not working or on tour.” There was sadness in his eyes. Sadness and regret.

  “Why?” I asked. Back then they had all been really close.

  We were in Jason’s bathroom now and he unwrapped the towel from me and pulled me into the shower. He positioned me under the spray and reached for the shampoo.

  “I wasn’t lying when I told you that I was miserable without you. I missed you and deep down I always blamed myself for what happened and I took it out on them. They understood and put up with my shit for a while. But you can only take so much crap from someone and eventually they stopped doing that. I don’t blame them. I was a miserable fucker.” He squeezed shampoo in his hand and massaged it into my hair. It felt divine and I closed my eyes for a moment. Jason rinsed my hair and then started on my body.

  “Sorry, I don’t have conditioner,” he murmured.

  “That’s okay,” I assured him. “Do you think you can fix it?”

  “Your hair?”

  “No, the band.”

  Jason sighed heavily. “I hope so. I’ve got a lot to make up for. I didn’t realize just how much until this last tour. Murphy won’t even talk to me.”

  “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “It’s okay. I’m happy now that I’ve got you back and I’ll work on Murphy and Dex. They’ll come around.” Dex was the fourth member of their band. He was almost as bad as Murphy, but just like Murphy, deep down he was a good and loyal guy. I hoped Jason was right and he would be able to fix what had been broken. It couldn’t be fun to work with people who wouldn’t even talk to you unless they had to, especially since they had been your friends before all the craziness of stardom had started.

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

  “You’re already doing it, Loreley. I was miserable because you weren’t a part of my life. Now you are and you always will be, so there’s no longer a reason for me to be miserable.” He was done washing my body and moved me out of spray so he could turn into it. I grabbed the shampoo this time and started to wash his hair.

  “I’m glad. But that’s not what I meant. I want to help.”

  “I know you do and I don’t doubt you will. I just don’t know yet exactly what I’m gonna do. We’ll have to play it by ear I guess.”

  “All right. As long as you’ll let me help when the time comes.” I rinsed his hair thoroughly and smiled at his groan.

  “So, Fran
k is the only one who’s allowed to flirt with me or tease without any retribution?” I brought us back to our original topic.

  “Yes,” he stated seriously. There he was, my possessive tyrant. I smiled at him. “You’re mine and no one is allowed to look at you for too long. Flirting is out of the question. Touching I don’t even want to think about.” He sounded disgruntled now. My smile grew bigger. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Just a little, maybe. I shrugged.

  “So, does the same apply to me?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do I get to defend what’s mine?” I had finished washing his body and he turned off the water before his arms went around my waist and pulled me into him.

  “Absolutely,” he said through his grin.

  “You sure about that? You know I can be hell on wheels when riled. That hasn’t changed.”

  “Oh, I’m sure. And I sincerely hope that hasn’t changed. It’s hot,” he growled in a low voice and nipped my bottom lip. My body was getting excited again and so was his. I could feel his arousal pressed against my stomach.

  “I want to take you again, but we don’t have time,” he said against my mouth before he took it in a fiery kiss.

  “We can be fast,” I tried to persuade him. I snaked my hand down his stomach, grabbed his already rock hard cock, and started to pump. He groaned into my mouth and pressed me against the side of the shower stall at the same time he turned me. I lost hold of his cock and braced both hands against the glass.

  “Fast,” Jason breathed and was inside me only a second later. Then he showed me what fast really meant.

  Chapter 18

  LORELEY

  “Mr. Sanders is here to see you,” the sugary sweet voice of the secretary said into the intercom. Her eyes didn’t move from Jason the whole time. We were at his lawyer’s office. It was swanky with deep brown leather furniture and a mix of contemporary and modern art on the walls. Swanky but somewhat cozy and homey. The secretary—Rose, as the sign on her desk told me—didn’t seem to mind that I was standing right there, my hand in Jason’s, as her googly eyes roamed all over his body. I took a step forward and leaned my hip against her desk.