Beyond Broken

by Kristin Vayden

  “No, I’m actually full. Gre— Mr. Bentley requested some. I think he was hoping it would settle his stomach.” I held up a cracker.

  “Ahh.” Dr. Solomon’s expression was wary with a slight edge of something I didn’t recognize.

  “Thanks for inviting me. It was nice to meet some more people,” I offered.

  “You’re welcome, we’ll have to do it again later.” He patted my shoulder before walking away.

  When I returned to Greyson’s room, I found him sound asleep, snoring no less. I didn’t really need to take his vitals so I simply placed the crackers on his nightstand and left.

  After I made the rest of my rounds I went back in to check on him. He was still asleep, this time not snoring, but I did notice that a few of the crackers were missing and their plastic wrappers were discarded. A smile tipped my lips. Sleep was what he needed and hopefully tomorrow he’d be out of the flu stage. As I left his room and clocked out, I glanced back at the Willow and Oak building from the parking lot. The tall trees whispered as their leaves moved with the slight breeze. If I breathed deeply I could smell the salt in the air. As I got in my car to drive home, I cast one last glance at the building that had been the answer to so many of my prayers, a chance to help heal those who were broken.

  My thoughts centered on one of the little boys we had come to know through the rehab program my parents started. When his mom started to get treatment he’d always tag along, hiding behind her boney frame. He was nothing more than a skeleton himself. But his brown eyes were so aware and sharp. It had taken a few weeks, but he began to trust us and even started to smile. That’s what was so heartbreaking. It wasn’t as if these children sobbed uncontrollably. The infants did, sometimes, but the older children, the ones who were three to seven years old, would just stare. It was worse when that stare was hollow, like a blank slate as if they were trying to be blind to everything they saw, which was far too much for any child.

  My heart broke as I remembered the children that we hadn’t been able to save. I brushed away a tear for the many who were buried; with little to no one caring they had passed. It hurt deeply because I cared, and there was nothing worse than having the world move on as if nothing happened, when your heart was breaking.

  But then there were kids like that boy, who we were able to help. When I left he had gained weight to the point where he was actually healthy. His mom had overcome her addiction and was helping other women do the same. As much as the pain of the many who were lost knifed me in the heart, it was worth any sacrifice to save even just one.

  Chapter Four

  I was running late. Bekah and I had stayed up late watching a movie. Just before it ended I fell asleep, only to wake up an hour later and stumble to bed. Of course, I didn’t set my alarm. Thankfully, Bekah had pounded on my door in a panic because she had slept in as well. With five minutes before I needed to start driving to Willow and Oak, I threw on a clean uniform, brushed my teeth and decided against any make up, grabbing a granola bar and a rubberband for my hair as I rushed out the door. As I flew down the steps I put the granola bar in my mouth and tied my caramel-colored hair back in a smooth ponytail. A few wisps of bangs immediately broke free and I blew them away from my face as I dug around for my keys. I drove away, praying I’d hit all green lights.

  I clocked in exactly two seconds before I would have been late. As soon as I scanned my card, the clock changed. I leaned against the wall and exhaled, trying to calm my racing heart.

  “Wild night?” Nurse Jinks asked with a grin.

  “No.” I shook my head and tucked my bangs behind my ears. “My roommate and I stayed up to watch a movie and I forgot to set my alarm.”

  “Ah yeah, been there done that. Now I just blame my husband.” She winked and patted my shoulder. “You’re on time though, don’t worry. Be thankful you can pull off the fresh, no-makeup look with grace. I’d be a little scary.” She called over her shoulder as she walked away.

  “Thanks,” I called to her as I headed to my locker. Once I was all set up, I headed to Greyson’s room.

  I knocked distractedly as I scanned my iPad for any updates to my patient records.

  The door opened, startling me and causing me to fumble the iPad.

  “You’re jumpy this morning. Lay off the coffee, Holton.” Greyson gave me a lopsided grin as he leaned against the door jam, his eyes sparkling with mischief. A dark shadow of a beard covered his jawline, defining it further. My mouth went dry and I glanced down trying to stop myself before I said or did something embarrassing. It didn’t work.

  “Wow,” I managed as my heart slowed its startled rhythm. He had made a rapid recovery from yesterday.

  “Yeah, I get that a lot.” Greyson winked and opened the door wider for me to come in.

  “Yeah, not what I meant.” I gave him a steely gaze, forcing my emotions in check so that my words would be the truth.

  “Too bad.”

  “For you, but I will say I’m impressed that you made such a quick recovery since yesterday. You sure slept a lot.” I pulled out my stethoscope.

  “I think I was out for about sixteen hours. I haven’t slept that long in… hell, I’ve never slept that long! It was awesome.” He leaned back in an easy chair, a wistful expression on his face.

  “Yeah.” The cord for the blood pressure cuff was twisted, stubbornly refusing to untwist. I glanced up for permission as I reached for his arm.

  “Looks like you could use some more sleep,” Greyson said as I counted his pulse.

  “No, actually the problem is that I got too much sleep,” I answered as I stood and made a note on my iPad.

  “That explains why you’re naked,” he said then indulged in a huge yawn.

  I glanced down at my clothes, then back at him with confusion.

  “Your face.” He made a circular motion around his own. “No makeup? Naked face? Get it? Although I wouldn’t be opposed to you showing up without your uniform from time to time either.” A wicked grin tilted his lips.

  “Yeah, not happening. This is as naked as I’m going to get,” I responded quickly then with a sinking stomach and thought about my words. I needed to change the subject. Fast. “Did you throw up any more after we gave you the IV?”

  “Nah, the crackers helped though. Thanks.” He stood and walked to the window.

  “I’m glad. Dr. Solomon thought I was sneaking food from the cafeteria.” I grinned as I walked over to take his temperature.

  “You had lunch with Dr. Solomon?” Greyson’s gaze studied me intently and his shoulders squared almost defensively.

  “Yeah, he invited me to meet some other nurses and doctors here at the Willow and Oak.”

  “Oh.” His posture relaxed and a grin tilted his full lips. “I guess I’ve been keeping you kinda busy.”

  “Yeah, kinda.” I grinned and took his temperature.

  “So when can I bust free of this room?” Greyson asked, his gaze was remarkably clear as he regarded me.

  “I’ll have to ask the doctor. You don’t want to do too much and suffer a setback.”

  “Shit, no.” Greyson shook his head and then rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I’ll ask though. I’m sure you’re going a bit stir crazy.”

  “It sucks.”

  At his disgusted expression I couldn’t help but smile.

  “You think it’s funny? I thought nurses were full of compassion and here you are laughing at me!” he teased, grinning at his own words.

  “I’m a coldhearted intern,” I shot back, a grin of my own tugging at my lips. It was so wonderful to see him past the pain, and though I knew the road ahead wasn’t completely clear, it was better.

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” he grumbled good-naturedly.

  “Have you eaten?” I asked.

  “Asking me out already?” He leaned against the wall.

  “No. Trying to make sure you don’t starve.”

  “Too bad.” He shook his head. “And no, they�
�ve been starving me since you got here late—”

  “I did not get here late! I was on time!” I placed my hands on my hips.

  “You were late here.” He corrected with an arrogant smirk.

  I didn’t respond but raised a single eyebrow in question.

  “You were, check out the time.” His chin jerked toward the wall clock.

  I glanced over to it and noticed that I was, perhaps, three minutes later than I had been in the past.

  “Seriously? Three minutes?” I shook my head.

  “That’s a long time.” His eyebrows rose while he crossed his arms, accenting the thick bands of his biceps through his shirt.

  “Really?” I questioned, disbelieving.

  “Oh yes.” He said seriously and began to walk toward me. The intensity of his gaze grew as he deliberately made his way across the room. “Three minutes can mean life or death if you’re holding your breath. Three minutes can be the difference between winning a race or losing it. All it takes is three minutes to taste the beginning and end of a perfect kiss.” He stopped right in front of me, his voice dropping to a whisper. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes roaming over my features.

  I was being pulled in, drawn like a moth to the flame, knowing full well I would get burned if I so much as touched him. Yet I was powerless.

  “Point taken,” I said, trying and failing to keep my voice even and unaffected when I was almost breathless. “I’ll be back shortly with some food for you.” Using all my will power I turned away and measured my steps to the door so I wouldn’t run. Once I closed the door, I leaned against it, exhaling.

  I was wrong. Greyson wasn’t dangerous, he was deadly — lethal. And if I was weakening so quickly under his powerful attention, then I wasn’t nearly as strong as I thought, as I needed to be. With an iron resolve I walked purposefully toward the cafeteria, telling myself I was caught off guard because of my hectic morning. But it wasn’t the truth. And as I walked back to his room, I admitted that it was something more and that something, whatever it was, could never, ever happen again.

  Hadn’t I seen what drugs did to people? Hadn’t I witnessed it first hand for most of my life? Why was I so immune to the truth when it came to Greyson? The question haunted me because I had no idea how to answer it.

  With a deep breath I knocked on the door.

  “Come in!” Dr. Solomon’s voice called and I exhaled a large sigh of relief.

  After setting the tray on the small dining room table, I walked into the living room. Greyson’s gaze was searing, yet I resolved not to even spare a glance in his direction. If I was to remain unaffected, I had to keep myself far away from those haunting gray eyes.

  “Just in time.” Dr. Solomon grinned at me.

  I smiled with relief for his presence.

  “What can I do to help?” I walked to his side. The scent of lime and something musky tickled my senses. Dr. Solomon turned to me, his crystal gaze completely clear. “It’s time for us to run a few blood tests. We need to see how his body is responding to the detox as well as how far it’s progressed.” His eyes were warm, inviting.

  “Got it. I’ll bring the tubes to the lab as soon as I finish.” I took the tubes he held out.

  “Thanks.” He turned back to Greyson. “You’re doing well, but we want to make sure you continue to recover quickly. If you’re still feeling well tomorrow, then we’ll see about getting you out of this room.”

  “Sweet.” Greyson leaned back against the couch, his eyes drifting close.

  “The fatigue will get better with time,” Dr. Solomon said with confidence.

  “You’d think I slept enough to last for a few days after yesterday,” Greyson grumbled.

  “Yes, but you were already deprived, your body is catching up. Healing is also quite strenuous for your body, it exhausts your reserves. Right now it’s more important for it to heal than for you to have extra energy.”

  “Aye, Aye, Doc.” Greyson saluted with one eye open before he closed them again, resting.

  “I’ll be back later. After Nurse Holton draws your blood, you’ll notice an increase in your fatigue so try to rest and give your body a chance to recoup.”

  “Okay,” Greyson mumbled.

  Dr. Solomon glanced at Greyson and turned to me, a warm expression on his face.

  “Miss Holton.” He gave me a quick smile and left, leaving behind the faint scent of lime behind him.

  When the door closed I took a deep fortifying breath. At least Greyson was tired. Perhaps that meant that he’d be less charming, less alluring, less himself.

  “Greyson? Could you sit up? I need to take your blood.”

  “Makes you sound like a damn vampire.” He narrowed his eyes at me but rose up, offering me his arm.

  “Thank you.”

  “I think I’d prefer the fangs to the needle.” He winced as I began to assemble the kit.

  “I’m pretty sure the needle would be less painful,” I said distractedly.

  “Hmmm, a needle or your lips at my skin? Difficult decision.” He grinned.

  “Yeah, difficult choice. A few tubes of blood or losing all of it…” I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

  “But what a way to go,” he added.

  “You don’t value for your life, you’ve gotta start working on that.” I speared him with a direct gaze. Glancing down, I tried not to respond when I touched his skin, pulling up his long-sleeved Henley, warmed from his skin. Dark brown hair curled over his defined forearms. Immediately I was aware of his breathing, the faint throbbing of his pulse as I tied the tourniquet. The minty scent of his breath invaded my senses as I leaned forward. Concentrating on my hands so they wouldn’t shake, it took me a moment to realize that his deep breaths were in rhythm with mine. My heart went against my will and began to thump wildly. What was it about him that made me lose my composure, my control?

  “This shouldn’t hurt too much. Hold still.” I wiped the area with an alcohol pad and tapped his skin. I glanced up before I reached for the needle. Greyson was focusing on me with a strange intensity. I glanced down and tried to concentrate on a clean insertion, but his gaze was like a physical touch, searing me, forcing me to be aware of him when all I wanted to do was forget and walk away.

  “Can you please not do that?” I glanced up, keeping my expression under tight control.

  “Do what?” he asked in a low voice that was nearly as intense as his stare.

  “Can you focus on something else? It’s a little…” I searched for the right word that wouldn’t give anything away. “…disconcerting when I’m trying to concentrate so I don’t make your arm look like Swiss cheese.” I went for the humor route, hoping to lighten the intense mood he had created.

  Greyson closed his eyes and I glanced back to his arm. Carefully I inserted the needle, thankful that the vein didn’t roll. I continued to remove and replace the full tubes until I had all of them filled. After withdrawing the needle, I pressed hard on the puncture wound with a cotton ball and taped it over with white tape. After a large sigh of relief I glanced up.

  “All done. That wasn’t so bad was it?” I sent him an easy grin and began to clean up the kit.

  “Not bad at all. Did you know that when your concentrate your bite your lower lip?” he asked as I stood to toss away some plastic from the kit. I paused, furrowing my brow.

  “You do. You divide your lower lip perfectly in half. And you said that I was distracting.” He raised an eyebrow.

  “You were.” I tossed the garbage away.

  “Is my food cold?” he asked after a moment.

  I had completely forgotten about it, but that was the way Greyson worked. You forgot about everything else but him.

  “I think you’ll be okay. It’s dry cereal, fruit and yogurt.

  “I’d kill for bacon.”

  “You’d hate for it to come back up though. You need to keep with gentler foods for your stomach. If you’re feeling good by next week, I’ll try to snag you
some. Okay?” I took the tray to him and set it on the side table.

  “A week is a long time,” he grumbled, but dug into his yogurt with zeal.

  “Little steps.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” He waved his spoon at me and then poured his milk into the bowl.

  “I’ll be back later. I’ve got to take these to the lab. Dr. Solomon will be back later to discuss the results.” I stood and gathered the tubes to leave.

  “Dr. Solomon—” Greyson began, but halted his words and studied me, searching my face as if gauging my reaction to the blond doctor.

  “Yes? Did you have a question for him?” I asked patiently.

  “No… never mind. I’ll see you later.” He turned back to his food.

  “Okay.” I walked to the lab and turned in the tubes, making sure they were labeled correctly.

  The rest of the morning was unexciting, thankfully. It seemed all my energy was required by only one of my patients, Greyson. As lunchtime approached, I went to the cafeteria and began to fill my tray.

  “How was your morning?” Dr. Solomon fell in line behind me, pushing along his tray as well.

  “Uneventful,” I said with a grin.

  “Just how we like it.” He answered my smile with one of his own.

  “Exactly. How was yours?” I asked.

  “Fine, fine. We have a new patient coming in this afternoon. Depending on her condition, I might ask for your assistance since you’ve proven yourself an exceptional talent at IV insertion. I know you’ve been hired for the intern position, but after reviewing your file I know I’m quite comfortable with giving you quite bit of freedom.”

  “Yeah, I’m not so sure I’m worthy of that high of praise, but I’ll help however I can. What’s her detox?”

  “Heroin.”

  “Oh.” All nurses knew that Heroin detox was bad, the hallucinations, fever and other symptoms made it one of the few detox situations that required us to wean the patient from their addiction by giving them other narcotics till they can handle life without them.

  “Yeah, oh.” Dr. Solomon gave me a sympathetic expression, full of compassion.