Little White Lie

by Madison Night

  “She said she loved me, God damn it! She loved me!”

  His brother nodded. “I know, but, dude, her letter—it sounds like this time she means it when she says you two are over. For your sake, I think you have to let her go.”

  Caleb shook his head. “No.”

  I can’t.

  “I know it’s fresh, bro. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. I’m not saying it won’t hurt, some days more than others. I’ll always be here for you—hell, I’ll even buy you a dozen more guitars to bust up if that’s what helps you,” PJ said, trying to make light of what Caleb had done only a few moments ago. “You can’t let this consume you. Take your time. Heal. But you have to go on living.”

  He looked up at his big brother, Pat surely seeing pain and sorrow reflected in his eyes. “But how?” he asked softly. “How can I go on living without my heart?”

  “Yes, Papa, I’m fine.”

  “No, I’m fighting a bit of a cold, so I’m low on energy.”

  “I promise that’s all it is, Papa, I swear.”

  She sighed and threw her hands in the air. “No, I haven’t been crying.”

  Syd paced the kitchen from one end to the other while on the phone. Puff sat there and stared at her accusingly for lying to her father. Of course she’d been crying. It had been a week since she’d left California—and Caleb—and all she’d been doing was crying. She tried to refocus on the conversation.

  “Absolutely. Everything is being pulled together faster and easier than we ever could have imagined. Jenny’s a great assistant and a great help. She’s been sending me pictures and constant updates from Toronto.”

  “Yes, the grand opening next weekend is going to be great. Just fantastic.”

  “Yes, I found a wedding dress and Melanie is helping me get the rest of the details that I need to worry about sorted for the wedding.”

  As soon as Syd uttered the word ‘wedding’, Puff heaved and threw up bits of grass on the kitchen floor.

  That’s exactly how I feel, Puffy.

  “No, I’m not crying right now. Papa, please stop worrying. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

  She grabbed some paper towel and the disinfectant from under the sink and walked toward the moon-eyed pup.

  “I know, Papa. Everything will be okay. Yes, I love you, too. Goodnight.”

  She hit end on her cell and left it on the counter. She bent to clean up the mess, and gave the little dog a scratch behind the ears. “You are not a lawn mower, baby girl. Stop eating the grass and puking everywhere, okay?” Puff whined in response and nuzzled Syd’s free hand as she cleaned the floor with the other.

  When she was finished in the kitchen, she went to tidy up in the living room before Cara got there. She’d asked Cara earlier this morning if she could stay at her place for a while. Being alone in this house, with memories of Caleb flooding nearly every room—it was too difficult for her to deal with. She tormented herself daily with thoughts of running back to California and to Caleb’s arms. She envisioned what their life would have been like together—moving into his house in Miami, getting married, starting a family of their own, growing closer to Pat and forming a real aunt-niece bond with Lilly…

  She plopped onto the couch and picked Puff up to cuddle the pooch close. “I miss him, Puffy. I miss him so much.”

  “I’d bet anything he misses you, too, Syddie.”

  Syd’s head snapped up at the words. “Cara, I didn’t hear you come in.”

  Cara shrugged. “I’m all ninja-like, remember?” She sat beside her friend. “Are you ready to go?”

  Instead of answering, Syd focused her gaze on the piano in the corner of the room. “I promised I’d play for him, you know?” she whispered. “So much for that.”

  “Yeah, that’s probably a blessing,” Cara snorted. “You don’t exactly tickle the ivories, my dear—you pummel them to death.”

  A small smile crept across Syd’s lips. “I’m passionate,” she defended. Her smile instantly faded. “So is Caleb…”

  “Okay, that’s it, we’ve had enough!” Cara bounced to her feet and grabbed Syd’s hands. “Let’s get out of here. You need Caleb-free surroundings.”

  “This is all such a fucking mess.”

  “Yes, yes, it is.” She hugged her. “Hey, come on, there’s nothing we can do about it right now, honey. You have a grand opening to get ready for and we’re gonna need to remind you how to smile for that. You have a wedding to get mind-numbingly drunk for. And we have more work to do on figuring out how the hell to get you out of this damn fiasco before Brett tries to make itty bitty Bretts with you.”

  They both shuddered.

  Puff sneezed.

  “Let’s move!” Cara pointed toward the foyer. “Puffy, lead the way!”

  As Cara buckled Puff into her seatbelt harness, Syd tossed the last of her bags into the backseat. “Cara?”

  Cara’s head popped up over the roof of the car to look at her. “Yo.”

  “I wish I’d never met Caleb,” she said sadly.

  “Oh, honey…”

  “I wish I never went to Banff. I wish I had left my meeting a littler earlier and never crashed into him. I wish I’d never agreed to see him again.” She felt the hot sting of tears. “I wish I didn’t love him, Cara. I wish… I wish…”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  “Thanks a million for getting back to me so quickly.” Caleb tucked the phone between chin and shoulder and folded a hunter-green dress shirt carefully before placing it in the overnight bag. He walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. “Yes, I understand the opening is tomorrow.” He pulled out a few pairs of socks and boxers and tossed them into the bag, as well. “He was good with me dropping by and making an appearance? Excellent.” He snagged a pair of pajama bottoms and a T-shirt from the next drawer down and threw them onto the bed as he passed by it on the way to his bathroom. “Absolutely. If you wouldn’t mind texting me the address… Thank you, Jenny. You’ve been incredibly helpful. I can see why Christou’s hired you to begin with. You must be a real asset to them.”

  He hit end then speed-dial, trying for the third time to get hold of his brother.

  “Sexy bear,” Pat answered.

  “Oh, you make me blush,” Caleb joked back.

  Pat perked up. “You sound like you’re in a bit of a better mood, bro. That’s good, really good.”

  “Yeah. About that…”

  “About what?”

  “I’m heading to Toronto.”

  “You’re what?”

  He sat on the edge of the bathtub. “I’m going to Toronto, Pat. For Christou’s grand opening. She’s got to be there. I need to talk to her.”

  “You’re on drugs. Or drunk. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for this fucking crazy idea of yours.”

  Caleb sighed, exasperated. “PJ, you don’t get it, man. I need to do this.”

  “Yeah, of course. You need to torture yourself and get sucked back in to whatever game she’s playing. Makes perfect sense. I’ll be right over to shred your passport.”

  “I’m not looking to get back together with her, Pat. You have no idea what all this has done to me. I can’t go down that road again.”

  “I can see exactly what it’s done to you, bro. Why do you think I’m trying to stop this insanity? I’m your big brother and it’s my job to protect you. I can’t let you do this to yourself.”

  Caleb examined himself in the mirror—he was unshaven, his blond hair hanging limp over his forehead. His face was drawn and his eyes had lost all spark of life.

  I miss her.

  “Look, Pat, I have no illusions about this. I don’t expect to show up there and have her run into my arms, proclaiming her undying love for me.” PJ grumbled something incoherent. “You want me to get over her, to get over this? I’ve been trying to do that for the past month and a half and I’m no better off than the day it happened. No, to get over her I need closure, man. I need to know why.”

/>   “She told you why in that long-winded letter,” Pat huffed.

  “Wrong. She basically told me that she couldn’t tell me why. I need answers and the truth.”

  He groaned. “Dude, you’re setting yourself up for more hurt.”

  He raked a hand through his hair. “I have to do this, Pat. Please, try to trust me on this, okay? I’ll see her, get my answers and walk away. I’ll be fine.”

  Will I?

  Would he be able to see Sydney and let her walk away from him yet again?

  Strolling along Yonge Street in Toronto toward Christou’s, Caleb was flooded with memories of his time in the city with Sydney earlier that summer—going for strolls, staying in bed for a full day, the rooftop pool…

  Don’t go there.

  He hated to admit he was excited, and some tiny part of his heart harbored hope that she would come back to him. His world was so empty without her in it and he had to believe, deep down, hers was just as vacant. It had to be. Every fiber told him her love for him was true—well, everything except telling him they couldn’t be together and leaving him floundering and wondering why.

  Yeah, that’s true love.

  He found the address Jenny had provided him and stopped in front of the restaurant. The bright blue Christou’s sign was lit and another sign adorned one of the big windows that faced the street, boasting the grand opening. He peered inside—the place was packed. There were a few tables tucked away for guests to sit at, but for this event the room was left open and people milled about and talked animatedly. He took a deep breath and stepped through the door.

  He spotted Sydney almost immediately. She was stunning in a white and sea-blue halter dress that cinched at her waist and flared out elegantly to just above her knees. Her glossy black hair was pulled away from her face in a ponytail that was swept over her shoulder. And again—as always—he was struck by her beauty.

  Go in, talk to her and leave, he reminded himself.

  He had taken but one step in her direction when a small, frail-looking man came up to him and held out a hand as he introduced himself.

  “Oh! Oh, you must be Caleb Jones!” he exclaimed. “Nikoleta is going to go crazy when she sees you,” he laughed, pumping Caleb’s hand enthusiastically and grinning from ear to ear.

  “I am,” CJ smiled. “You must be Mr. Christou?”

  He waved away the formality. “Please, please, call me Stefanos. Jenny said a music star would be dropping by for the opening, and when she told me it was you… Well, I had to keep it a secret from my sweet baby girl.” He winked. “She’s a big fan of your band, Mr. Jones.”

  Caleb nodded, confused. Stefanos had to be Sydney’s father, but she’d never mentioned a sister named Nikoleta. He shrugged it off and allowed himself to be led away from Syd toward the other side of the restaurant. He dodged a server coming around with a tray of appetizers that made his mouth water and was suddenly face to face with someone new.

  “This is my son, Theo. He’s the mastermind behind all the menu items, and the head chef at our Vancouver location. Theo, this is Caleb Jones.”

  Theo stared at him. “Ya, I recognize who he is, Papa,” he answered quietly. “It’s, um, nice to meet you…”

  “Likewise.”

  Theo kept staring at him. Was it possible Syd had talked to her brother about him? It had to be. Theo was looking at him as if he’d seen a ghost.

  “Ah, there’s my Nikoleta! Nikki, come here for a minute with Brett. There’s someone I want you to meet,” Stefanos called. “Mr. Jones, I want you to meet my daughter Nikoleta and her fiancé, Brett.”

  Caleb turned around, a smile on his face, curious to see who this mystery sister of Sydney’s was.

  He couldn’t breathe.

  Nikoleta…Sydney…they were one and the same.

  Unless she has a twin she’s never mentioned?

  Not with the way her face blanched at the sight of him. It was her.

  For once in his life, Caleb was stunned speechless.

  No. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. He can’t be here. Why is he here? He can’t be here.

  She stared at Theo, panicked and desperate for support, and he immediately moved around Caleb to stand beside her. He rubbed her back gently, trying to calm her. She opened her mouth to speak to Caleb, but nothing came out.

  “Oh, hey! You’re from that band Nikoleta likes so much, right? Divine something or other?”

  “Divine Intervention,” Caleb answered, his voice tight.

  “Yes, that’s right,” Brett dismissed the correction with a wave. “Well, my Nikoleta should be over-the-moon excited to see you, but it appears she’s a bit star-struck at the moment. Say hello to Mr. Jones, my love,” he ordered.

  “Hello,” she said, her voice cracking. Caleb’s jaw clicked and his eyes narrowed.

  The way he’s looking at me…

  “We’re getting married the first Saturday of September,” Brett continued, blissfully unaware of what was going on. “Perhaps you can come play a song for us at the reception, Mr. Jones. Perhaps by then my Nikoleta will have found her voice…and her manners,” he chastised.

  Caleb shook his head. “No worries at all.” He turned to her father. “I can’t stay for long, but I did want to drop by and wish you luck on this venture, Mr. Christou. I’m a fan of your chain and I’m positive this location will do quite well. I’ll be sure to recommend it to my friends.”

  Papa smiled warmly and put a hand on his heart. “Thank you, Mr. Jones. That means so much to me.”

  Syd watched as Caleb shook Theo’s and Brett’s hands, saying goodbye. When it came to her, he simply nodded and walked away.

  He can’t even bear to touch me.

  She turned to find him pushing through the crowd. Now that her father had made a fuss about him, people turned their attention away from the food and to him, and he nearly had to fight to get through the sea of people and out the door.

  “Well, that was nice of him to stay for all of five minutes,” Brett quipped, rolling his eyes.

  “I… Excuse me, I’m not feeling very well.” Syd elbowed past Brett and walked as fast as her heels would allow to the small office at the back of the restaurant. She closed the door and sank to the ground, sobbing. A knock sounded at the door and she managed a weak, “Just a moment.”

  Theo poked his head into the room. “It’s only me. Can I come in?”

  “Oh, Theo,” she whimpered, hanging her head.

  He let himself in and locked the door. “Nikki, shit, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” He knelt beside her and stroked her hair, trying to calm her.

  “Did you see the way he looked at me, Theo?” she asked, her voice rising suddenly. “He hates me! I don’t even know why he came here, but he hates me!” she said, her voice becoming shrill.

  Theo helped her to her feet and pulled her in for a hug. “Sis, please, please try to calm yourself.”

  She shook her head. “How can I calm down? I love him and I hurt him so much already breaking things off. You should have seen the look on his face when I drove away.” She buried her face in his shoulder and trembled. “But tonight… Theo, when he found out I was engaged and marrying in two weeks…”

  “I know,” he whispered.

  She yanked away, stricken with guilt and sick to her stomach. “He was crushed, Theo. Crushed. That knowledge took the hurt to a whole other level.” Lightheaded, she lost her balance, and gripped Theo’s arms for support.

  “Nikki, please stop!”

  She collapsed against him, weak. “He despises me, Theo. The man I love despises me. And I deserve every ounce of that hate for what I’ve done.”

  He sat in the plane, waiting for the call to come from the tower giving the pilot the go ahead to depart. As soon as he had left the restaurant he’d headed back to his hotel, gathered his belongings in a hurry and grabbed a taxi to Pearson Airport. There he’d managed to secure a first-class ticket on the redeye back to Cali—he didn’t care what time
the flight was, or what the cost was, he needed to get out of Toronto and away from Sydney.

  Was Sydney even her real name? They kept calling her Nikoleta…

  Caleb was thankful that at this hour there was only one other person in first class, and that individual was more interested in the liquor offered to him than trying to make idle conversation. He wanted to be left alone to stew about the events earlier that night. He wanted to be angry with her. He wanted to hate her.

  It was the only way to manage through the pain.

  She was engaged. Engaged! When the hell had that happened? He thought back to Banff, and her reluctance to meet him again. Could she have been engaged even then? All this time she was a taken woman, and she had been gallivanting in and out of the bedroom with him! Her smug fucking fiancé had mentioned they were getting hitched in about two weeks. Nice of her to break it off with him before the wedding, at least.

  He shook his head in disgust and clenched his fists.

  All this time, she has been cheating on me.

  Wrong, he thought suddenly. She had been cheating with me.

  Why the hell hadn’t she told him she was engaged back when they’d first met? Was this all some sort of game to her? The ‘let’s fuck a rock star before I get married’ game? One last hurrah? Had she even meant it when she’d said she loved him?

  Does it even matter?

  His mind was going a mile a minute. He took a breath, working hard to settle his nerves before he jumped out of his seat and started screaming at the top of his lungs. He rubbed at his face, trying to get her image out of his mind. She had looked so stunned and nervous in the restaurant. Obviously, she hadn’t wanted her beloved to discover she’d been fucking another man and she must have been terrified he’d say something or make a scene.

  She’s probably laughing it up right now, he thought. How she’d made him fall for her and come all the way to Toronto to see her. Her friends are probably getting a really big kick out of the whole situation. She must be pretty damn proud of herself and be all puffed up like a goddamn peacock.