Holding On To Heaven
Page 24
Chapter Thirteen
Graham
I'm not sure what makes me more nervous. Leaving my mother to fend for herself even with the nurses coming a couple times a week; going to a new college or seeing Serenity again. Maybe all three are equally as nerve wracking. Either way I’m feeling the weight of it the closer I come to the new place I would call home.
I’ve been driving for hours, watching each passing road sign on the highway, so hyper sensitive to missing my off ramp. I’m not even sure the anxiety I’m feeling is mine. It could very well be coming from the angel that inhabits my body.
Gabriel told me before the two of us joined of the time he’d been with me before. I wasn’t exactly young when it happened, but given the way I used to party, it was really no surprise I couldn't remember a lick of it. According to Gabe though, that’s also something he hid deep inside my brain. I wasn't supposed to remember. Maybe in remembering what it had been like back then, I could get a handle on how to deal with it now.
I was on my own. Gabriel could offer no advice on how to make this situation easier. I had to rely on blind faith that once I reached my destination, started classes and gotten into the swing of things, including meeting Serenity again, whatever I’m feeling now would fade. So for the next hour as I drove along, that’s exactly what I focused my mind on. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
I pulled the car into the motel parking lot and as I put it in park, I took in my surroundings. I would only be here for the night and then be off to the dorms first thing in the morning. I had to make the best of the situation, but looking around, I know that will be a lot harder than I anticipated. This place looked like its seen better days.
“Gabriel, your bright idea of starting this at night sucks.”
I was sure he could hear me, but I wasn't looking for a response. Three of the four doors that were in my line of vision were either half hanging off their hinges, had bullet holes or just looked like they were in desperate need of a paint job. If I hadn't been beat from driving I would have gladly pulled out and found somewhere better, but as it was, I just couldn't take any more solitary time behind the wheel. I was going to go crazy and not in the fun way.
After paying for the night and securing the key, I found my way to the room, eying the door as I went inside, wondering what happened to it before I'd gotten there that caused the obvious dents and grooves that didn't belong. I went in and immediately threw my body down on the bed, closing my eyes, thinking about anything that would take my mind off the shit hole I now found myself in.
“There's no place like home, Toto.”
Thinking about the state of the motel made me wonder just what it was about this town that Serenity found so appealing. If this place is any indication, it wasn’t a surprise Gabriel had come to me for help with her. This place was a mess.
Thinking about her as it always did, brought up the memory of the first time I saw her. I still have a hard time believing that it was almost five years ago. To me, it still felt like yesterday, that’s how much of an impression it made with me.