Holding On To Heaven

by Melyssa Winchester

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Graham

  Man there is something about that guy that rubs me the wrong way. When he finally walked away, I was thankful. First he had the nerve to question what I was doing at Serenity's room which from the way he looked when I got there spoke volumes about what he’d been doing. The only thing missing from the way I found him to complete the stalker profile was his ear to the actual door. As it is, the way he just stood there made the hairs on my arm stand on end.

  As much as I don't wanna admit it, his words got under my skin. It’s like he knew my past with Serenity and was throwing it back in my face. Did she know this guy well enough to tell him about us? She’d never been that open with anyone other than Emma before and knowing that now it wasn't just us bothered me.

  I didn't want some random guy knowing my business, least of all this guy. He’s pure evil. It’s written all over him with his attitude.

  As much as I hated dealing with him, all it took was Serenity's face and the sound of her voice as she ran into me to put him out of my mind. I came back for her. I was here now because Gabriel told me he would be explaining things to her. That he was going to protect her on his own. I tried to stay away, but the urge to know if he succeeded in what he wanted won out. With the flushed look on her face, I had nothing to worry about. She was fine.

  I saw the glow of light from her bedroom and recognized it. Gabriel is still here. The only concern I have now, is how she’s handling it all.

  “Were you expecting someone else, princess?”

  She blushes as she shakes her head. If I wasn't so focused on her well-being I would’ve enjoyed deepening that blush of hers. As it is, the sight of it drove me crazy.

  “Then where’s the fire?”

  “I was actually coming to find y—you.” she stammers, again the sound causing my body to react. It seems everything about her makes me lose control these days.

  “Well here I am. What's up?”

  She motions behind her and backs up against the door to let me pass. “Come in and I'll explain.”

  “That sounds ominous. Is everything alright?”

  “No. Everything is not alright.”

  Well she definitely has my attention now. What did Gabriel say to her?

  “Well, I’m here now, so why don’t you fill me in?”

  She sighs and motions toward Emma's bed with her hand. “You're gonna want to sit.”

  “Okay. I will; but on one condition.”

  “What's that?”

  I pat the bed and smile. “You sit with me.”

  Thinking over my request, hesitant to move forward, she sighs as I pat on the mattress a second time. Conceding to my request she sits down beside me, leaving just enough space between us so we were unable to touch.

  If she’s unwilling to even risk brushing up against me, whatever she’s been told must be pretty damn bad. I'd seen her through a lot of stressful situations before, but none had this type of reaction. Physical touching, at least where I’m concerned had never been a problem for her.

  “Why don't you start with the elephant in the room?  He may he standing there like a statue, but I think we both know he's got a whole lot to say.”

  The look of shock that appears across her face is alarming. Obviously Gabriel hadn't gotten around to telling her just how close the two of us have gotten. If he hadn't confessed that truth to her then what had he been doing since he left me?

  “You can see him?”

  “Yeah I can. Big bright light, angel wings and what looks to be a very irritated face. Who can miss that?”

  “Wow—umm—okay.”

  “You didn't tell her?” I asked, turning toward him and away from the very confused girl beside me.

  “Not as yet. There were more pertinent issues to be handled first.”

  “Wait, she interrupted, her gaze fluttering rapidly between the two of us. “Tell me what?”

  Well this is turning awkward pretty fast. I’d been under the impression that nothing could be more important than cluing her in on the fact that I’m his very real human host. Apparently I was wrong.

  “You wanna tell her man, or you gonna make me do it?” I ask, fully prepared to tell her everything.

  “This is not the time, human.”

  “So I've been promoted to human now? Geez! What have you two been talking about?”

  “Will the two of you just shut up and tell me what the hell is going on here? I think I deserve to know how the hell Graham can see you, Gabriel and what exactly it is that you haven't told me.”

  There she is, my Serenity. The take no prisoners’ girl I met that first day under the tree. The circumstances weren't the best, but I have to admit I really like seeing that side of her again. Gone is the stutter and nervousness, replaced with her inherent bullshit detector.

  “I can see Gabriel. I've been able to see him since he came to Green Haven a few days ago and asked me to help him.”

  “Help him how?” she shot back, her expression blank.

  “Help him with you.”

  “Okay your turn now. “ She says, turning her body to where Gabriel stood bathed in light. “How did you want him to help with me?”

  Where Gabe's face looked pained before, now it’s completely destroyed. I’m pretty sure he didn’t want it coming out this way.

  “I ruined things with you when I stayed away. I needed Graham to help me find my way back to you.”

  “You were going to use him to get to me? Please tell me that’s not what I'm hearing.”

  “It is not as you believe it to be. You are taking it the wrong way.” The angel answers, though from where I’m sitting, it looks exactly the way she’s taking it. He hadn’t been truthful about why he needed my help, so I’m learning the same way she is.

  “So you lied to both of us? You told me that you needed my help with Serenity, but you didn't tell me it was because you botched things up on your own.”

  “That was not of import, Graham.”

  Serenity, her body turned again towards me rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. Apparently we’re in agreement on what we believe to be important. We don’t enjoy being used, especially by the being that did it.

  “Well Gabe, for the sake of argument, let me just tell you that our versions of what’s important are extremely different, like other planet sized different.”

  “He really didn't tell you what he was planning?” Serenity asked, quietly, looking at me, her eyes searching mine for any sign of dishonesty.

  “No. He told me that you were in danger and that he needed me in order to protect you. He knew how I felt about you because he'd been there years ago and he knew I'd help him because of it.”

  “What do you mean he was there years ago?”

  This isn’t something I have a whole lot of knowledge about. I knew the basics, but if anyone is going to explain this to her, it has to be Gabriel. He’d been the one to live it. I didn't even remember him.

  “Gabriel, I don't know why you're choosing not to tell her any of this, but I think you need to suck it up and do it. I can't answer this since I don't remember.”

  “When you moved to Green Haven with your mother many years ago, I was there watching over you. As I said, I am your guardian, you are my charge. I needed a human host at the time to be able to get close enough to you for that purpose and because of your relationship with Graham, he is the host I chose. The two of you had become close on your own, I did not involve myself in that aspect, but what came later is where I made my entry.”

  So—” Serenity began before Gabriel cut her off.

  “If you want to know everything then please let me finish before you attempt to figure out my motivations.”

  “Fine, go ahead.” she snapped back at him, crossing her arms over her chest and angling her body into mine again. She’s willing to listen, but she’s not interested in looking at him anymore. I can't blame her, I wasn't happy with the angel much myse
lf.

  “Graham held all the traits the perfect human host should have and at that age, he’d been more than willing. When you moved away, I left him and carried his memories of that time with me. Not all, but most of them. The way he felt about you remained, as did his nature before he met you. I would not allow him to forget you. It is only now, with the knowledge I have about the two of you that I understand how you were with each other. It was not my intent to deceive you Serenity, but I had run out of options. You are my beloved and I could not let you walk away from me, especially with the undertaking underway.  I had to think quickly and Graham became my only available option.”

  “There’s no way you could’ve known how I would react to seeing him, so your available option was a pretty big risk wasn't it?” she asked, after we both waited for him to speak again.

  “There is no risk I won't take as it pertains to you and your destiny. Surely you must realize this by now.”

  “Why not just tell me all of this from the beginning?” I say, interrupting the exchange between the two of them. “I might not have been as agreeable right away to what you wanted from me, but I would’ve done the same thing. You know that or you wouldn't have come to me at all.”

  “There was no time to waste. Why do you think I made sure you ended up here, on this campus two days later?”

  He had me there. According to him time was of the essence. He’d taken the easy route, the one that wasn't exactly angelic, but it got the job done. I’d come here and could watch over Serenity again the way I’ve been wanting to for years. He helped me just as much as I had him.

  “You are not as angry at me as Serenity is. Why is that, Graham?” Gabriel questioned.

  “You needed my help with Serenity and even though I didn't want to admit it, I needed yours too. That’s why I'm not mad. I get it. I had to make things right with her or I would never have moved on with my life. I would’ve been stuck in the same damn place I was two years ago.” I turn to Serenity and taking her hand in mine I looked her straight in the eye so she would feel and see the honesty in my words. “I'm sorry, Ser. I want to hate him the way you do but I can't. He gave me the chance to have you back.”

  “Graham...” she whispered as she squeezed her hand in mine. “There's something you still don't know.”

  From where I’m sitting I knew everything, at least as much as I need to.

  “Then tell me.”

  In a move so unexpected I didn't have time to react, a light shot down between us and we immediately jumped back, our hands separating with the sheer force of it.

  “I apologize, but Serenity, now is not the time. You brought me here to ask for my help and I will give it to the best of my ability, but my only concession is that what you feel you need to tell him, you hold back on.”

  Standing from the bed, her eyes blazing, she made her way over to him and lowering her voice spoke again.

  “He—deserves—to—know.” she says drawing her words out carefully so there can be no misunderstanding.

  I expect to hear him respond, but looking between the two of them, even though Gabriel remained tight lipped and serious, it hit me. He’s speaking to Serenity the same way he’d done with me when we’d been joined together.

  “I'm sorry, but if someone doesn't tell me what’s going on, I'm going to have find someone who will.” Remembering Ryan standing outside of the door and some of the things he said to me made me think he knew more than I originally thought.

  Perfect, if they were going to fight over whether I should know, I knew Ryan wouldn't miss a chance to tell me. “Maybe I can just go ask that Ryan guy, seeing as he heard whatever you two were talking about before I got here.”

  Serenity and Gabriel both turned towards me, surprise registering on their faces. He spoke first.

  “Graham you have no idea what Ryan truly is. You must not go anywhere near him.”

  “He won’t hurt him, Gabriel. I told you, Ryan isn't the demon you assume he is.”

  Demon? What? Did I just hear her right? Gabriel told me he wasn’t entirely human, but a demon?

  “Someone better start making sense or I swear I will go find this ‘demon’ you speak of and get him to tell me everything.”

  “Graham, are you sure you want to know?” Serenity asked, making her way back over to me, sitting back on the bed, significantly closer than before. Whatever she has to say, it’s obvious that with all we learned, it lowered her defenses. She trusted me enough to be close again.

  “I want to know it all.”

  “Well, okay then. I guess it all starts the first time I met you, in 1860.”

  Ryan

  Graham Hudson is her soul-mate.

  He’s the other half of her soul that had been split from her by the very entity Lucifer wanted nothing more than to destroy. They’re two souls, born of one entity, tasked with finding each other in every lifetime until they are inevitably brought back together in harmony in the future.

  While I might have been able to compete with Gabriel as it pertained to Serenity’s heart, Graham and his connection to her, I’m not made to fight against. I might stand a chance against the King of Hell, I might even be able to adequately fight God and his army, but to break through the seal of the soul-mate, that is something I can’t do.

  What is written cannot be broken or shattered.

  How many times has that been drilled into my brain over the years, by Lucifer? He’d been the first to inform me of the soul-mate bond and exactly what it meant to the world. In fact, he informed me that the girl I was being sent to watch and grow close to is the only being he ever witnessed that didn't appear to have one.

  I meant what I said to Graham.  I would never walk away from her. She is giving me the one thing I’ve been missing. She’s the reason behind the very beat of my heart. Even if I wanted to, I could never walk away, especially now that the connection had been made. Unfortunately, it seems like the universe is the bitch Lucifer makes it out to be and the fates are against us. While I might not be able to walk away, I can’t exactly fight for her either.

  “Ryan. It’s delightful to find you on my first attempt.”

  Shit. This is not going to be good.

  Turning around, I faced him, trying as I did to wipe all emotion from my face.

  “Father, what are you doing here?”

  “It would appear that all my attempts at reaching out have gone unanswered. One might even say blocked. Would you care to explain to me why that is and how long you've had the ability to do so?”

  Shit. He knew I was blocking him. The very thing I feared bringing down the walls and allowing Gabriel access to me has happened. Lucifer had been able to break through as well.

  “I don't know what you're talking about, Father. I haven't been in contact because I’ve been doing as you requested and remaining as close to Serenity as one can possibly be.”

  He seemed to accept my explanation, but it’s obvious he doesn’t believe it. I was going to have to think fast with the bullshit before he caught on to the fact that I did have the ability he had been unaware of.

  “It would appear that I’ve gotten to a point with her where she fancies herself in love with me. When she is without me she longs for me. I seem to occupy a great deal of her mind.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes Father. After the kiss we shared, it seemed to bring her closer. She brought down her walls and allowed me entrance to the most private parts of herself. This might not be the way we planned it initially, but it works very well in our favor. If she loves me then it will only be a matter of time before she falls in love with you.”

  The more I said, the more his expression changed. He no longer seemed to be wary of my intentions which means that on some level he believes what I’m telling him even though not a word of it is true. Thankfully the walls inside my mind are still very much intact, or my thoughts would have gotten me killed.

  “I am pleased to hear that we have reached that
point so quickly in the assignment, which makes what I have to tell you that much easier. You see, there are parts of the plan that I have kept from you, mainly for your own protection, but also because I could not risk your humanity becoming a problem. It is time, not only for the plan to move forward, but for me to lay out the things in which I kept hidden.”

   I’d gone into the mission believing Lucifer wouldn't be treating me as he did other demons, but now I’m finding out he didn’t trust me at all. I was a means to an end and he’s been withholding from the start.

  “What haven’t you told me?”

  “It had been my original intent to bring her to Hell with me. Of this I made you aware, but given this recent turn of events and the information I have been compiling from the beginning, plans have changed. I no longer want to use her power from Hell. I believe it will be much better served here.”

  What the hell is he trying to say? Is it even possible for him to maintain that type of power in a vessel?

  “I’m not sure how that is possible, Father.”

  “Well that is quite simple, my son. In order for me to maintain my power, as well as that of my brides, I need to find a vessel worthy of carrying that much power within it. I have found such a vessel and now it is up to you to help me so the plan can begin.”

  “Who’s the vessel and how can I help?”

  “Why Ryan, it is you. It has always been you. You will be my vessel. You will join with Serenity and be the very one to drain her of the power that resides so strongly, yet dormant inside of her. It all revolves around you.”