Holding On To Heaven

by Melyssa Winchester

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Gabriel

  Father is not pleased. When I begged to go to Earth one more time, determined to change her mind, I hadn't expected to find what I did. I let him down again though this time, it is through nothing I did, but what Serenity had done.

  “It has been thousands of years since anyone, demon or angel has ever branded a human, forcing them to remain locked in their decision. Lucifer has thought of everything.”

  Since I left Graham and came home this is the way the conversation had gone, though it almost seemed as if Michael is more upset about it then Father.

   I understood Michael's disappointment. I had underestimated our fallen brother even more than he had. He’d done a lot of things over the years that turned us away from him, but this is by far the worst.

  Lucifer, in an effort to achieve his goal had set the world and Heaven itself back to a time most of us want nothing more than to forget. He enslaved Serenity, forcing her into a situation that even when she changed her mind, she is unable to break free of. She was nothing more than his slave now and knowing Lucifer, he would more than enjoy it.

  “With her locked into the darkness it is only a matter of time before he releases hell on earth, Gabriel. I know Father told us not to get involved, but I do not think I can do that.”

  “Nor can I, but what can we do? She was adamant in her decision and even when she changes her mind, Lucifer owns her. There is nothing the two of us alone can do.”

  Michael's face became pensive as he racked his brain much the way I had been doing since I heard the news. Searching for some way we might be able to undo what Lucifer put in motion.

  “I know what Father said and I know how we will be regarded for disobeying, but I think it has been far too long since we spent time with our eldest brother.”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “There is no one that knows Lucifer better than we do. For centuries before he was cast out, we learned all there is to know about him inside and out. If there is any way of saving Serenity and changing her fate then we need to take it. All of us.”

  Michael is the strongest of the archangels and if anyone stood a chance against Lucifer, it’s him, but what he is proposing is not going in alone. He wants to take all of us with him. He wants to wage a full scale war against Hell.

  “Do you really think Uriel and Raphael will agree to this? You know how they are about displeasing our father. They would rather feel the burn of the holy fire then go against him.”

  “Of course I know how they are, but what other choice do we have? Not only do we have a demon that is doing everything he can to be redeemed in the eyes of our Father, but we have one of our own down there, choosing this life because of Lucifer's manipulation of you. We cannot just sit here and hope Father finds the answer.”

  As much as I want to disagree with him, I can't.  Where I hated the demon for the hold he had on Serenity and the way she trusted in him so easily, I couldn't deny that he had done everything in his power to try and change the fate she'd chosen. He had been the one to inform me of the brand and even helped me get out of the church undetected so I am able to stand where I am now. He deserves to be redeemed. The only way that can happen though is for us to do what Michael is suggesting.

  “Then go to Uriel and I will go to Raphael. Maybe between the two of us we can change their mindset. I only pray that it isn't too late.”

  Ryan

  I’m a married man.

  I'm pretty sure there isn't a guy alive that wants to be married at twenty years old. There might be a few, but I have yet to meet one. No, the twenties are a time to sow wild oats; get as drunk as possible and live life like there’s no tomorrow. Not watching a woman walking down the aisle toward them, her face a mask of the most frightening fear.

  Yet here I stand, surrounded by the highest order of demons, all a part of Lucifer’s army, as well as a variety of other random ones, drinking beverages of their choosing and living it up party style, a married man.

  Serenity, since the party started has been glued to my side, moving her body with mine with every move I made, even involuntary ones. She’s afraid for me to leave her because she knows what it means the second I do. As frightened as she is, her concern for my well-being wins out. By keeping me with her she’s keeping me safe. I can’t help but enjoy it even if it’s wrong.

  “Can I ask you something?” she asks me quietly. “About the ceremony?”

  “You can ask me anything, Serenity. Especially with what we just went through.”

  “The blade she used when she was tracing the pentagram and the circle around us, it seems important, like sacred to her. What is it?”

  Of all the questions I know are swirling around in her brain, I’m thankful she gave me such an easy one to answer. I wasn't sure how I would tackle what’s supposed to happen with us later. There’s no way to make even the most understanding of human beings understand it, so I can't imagine Serenity being any more accepting.

  “It's called an athame and to her and Lucifer it’s a sacred blade.”

  “Does that mean it's going to be the thing you use to kill me?”

  “How can you say those words so easily? Have you really come to terms with your fate already? Just thinking about it now, makes me sick and all I want to do is take your place.”

  She went silent and my heart twists in knots. I didn’t mean to sound so hurtful, but I’m not willing to accept this as our fate tonight. I can't even imagine doing as Lucifer wanted and draining the life out of the beautiful, sweet woman beside me.

  My wife. I do not want to kill my wife.

  When after a few minutes of silence she still hadn't spoken, her eyes still lowered to the ground, masking her pain, I chose to speak again.

  “I know why you went through with this and whether I live through the night or for years after this, I will never forget the sacrifices you are making for me. I know it seems contrite, but the day I realized you were exactly like me was the happiest day of my life. My destiny was supposed to be to walk this world in darkness and never once experience what it feels like to be in love. You in a short period of time changed all of that.”

  “I haven't accepted this.” she whispers, her eyes scanning the room as she did, still on high alert for any sign of Lucifer. “I want to leave here right this second, but I know I can't. I have to see it through, even if it doesn't end the way I hope it does.”

  “What do you mean? How do you hope this plays out?”

  “That you’re redeemed and get to spend the rest of eternity either in Heaven or here, with multiple happy lifetimes.”

  Her soul is the purest one I have ever seen. Not because of what she’s saying, but the way it shines. Not many know it, but souls have different colours for varying emotions and experiences and hers is shining a bright gold. The purest kind imaginable.

  She really does believe in a brighter future for me, even though I don’t and I want what she believes to be reality, but I also know the havoc I created over the years. All the damage I caused had not earned me favor. If Lucifer didn’t succeed in killing me tonight, he would at the very least damn me to hell and honestly, I deserve to be there.

  “That's a nice dream. I only wish it could become reality.”

  She turned into me and looking straight up,  meeting my eyes she smiled the biggest and brightest smile I’ve ever seen, showing the faith she had in what she’s about to tell me.

  “It can become a reality, Ryan. Don't you see it? The reason we connected so deeply so quickly wasn't because we’re similar in our experiences, although that did play its own part. It wasn't because you were so beautiful I couldn’t help but focus on you, though that’s pretty accurate too. It’s none of that. It’s because of the light.”

  I’m confused. “What light?”

  “The light that even now surrounds you. You can't see it?”

  I shake my head. I have no idea what she’s talking about, b
ut there’s no doubt with the way she’s acting that she saw it and believes in it.

  “It's there. It’s faded yellow in colour, but with each passing day we spend together, it becomes brighter. I know you think that because you're half demon and have done horrible things, you can't be redeemed, but through your love for me I believe you can. It's the purest part of you.”

  Before I can respond, I see the shadow appear over us and my breath catches in my throat. I didn't have to turn around to know who is standing there. The shadow alone is enough of an acknowledgement.

  “Ryan,” he spoke, the icy cold tone of his voice making my stomach churn. “Serenity. I hope you are enjoying the party in your honor.”

  “Y—Yes.” Serenity stammered catching it and herself. “It's wonderful.”

  “I'm pleased you think so. Ryan, may I have a word?”

  Nodding, I turned to where Serenity stood, her eyes again a mask of fear, yet also filled with what I could only believe to be loathing for the man standing in front of us.

  “Ryan, please don't go.”

  “Baby, I don't have a choice, but I'll be fine. He just wants to talk which means we still have time.”

  I kiss her gently before moving up and kissing her forehead. I know what she thinks is happening and I want to do everything in my power to make her feel secure that I would return before it was time.

  “Do you trust me Serenity?”

  “Yes.” she said, her voice breathless as she leans her body into mine, her hands resting on my arms tightly, still unable to let me go.

  “Then let me go now, and trust me when I tell you that I will figure a way out of this before it’s too late. I will come back to you.”

  She releases her hold on me and I walk away, my heart breaking with each step leading me away from her, my mind still swimming with everything she told me about the light and the possibilities it might contain. Could it mean there is hope in this hopeless situation? Could we really make it out of this alive?

  “What do you want to speak about Father?”

  “Can you feel it? The pull of your heart to hers? Has it happened yet?”

  What kind of stupid question is that and what did it have to do with anything? “Why bother asking questions you know the answer to. It does not become you.”

  “As always you’re correct, but there is one thing I need to discuss with you.”

  “And that would be?”

  “I wanted to pull you away from your blushing bride to inform you that the time has come. Say your goodbyes and meet me in the chapel. Oh and Ryan, do not dream of keeping me waiting or finding a way to escape, because I assure you, I will not look kindly on either.”

  He walked away and I turn back to where Serenity is standing, her eyes still locked on my form. Her concern for me is written all over her face, which again is lowering itself to the floor. I know I have to make my way back and do as Lucifer wants. I just didn't want to.

  How am I supposed to say goodbye when every part of me not being controlled by Lucifer wants to grab her, hold her and never let go?