The Click Trilogy
Page 36
From: Shelley Manning – November 3, 2012 – 2:58 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Mr. Bubble
Renee, Renee, Renee. Do you really want to take me on? When it comes to being ruthless, cut throat and malicious, do you really think you can best me?
First off, what makes you think Nick doesn’t know everything already? Do I really have secrets? Do I really have shame or regrets? And haven’t you considered that the most shocking of all of my exploits might include Nick?
Seriously, I don’t think you’ve thought this through, Sweetie. If I were you, I would humbly apologize and beg forgiveness.
From: Renee Greene – November 3, 2012 – 2:59 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Mr. Bubble
I humbly apologize! Forgive me!
From: Shelley Manning – November 3, 2012 – 3:01 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Mr. Bubble
Smart girl. Safe landing and I’ll call you later. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Ashley Gordon – November 5, 2012 – 2:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Mortified!
I’m nursing at 2 a.m. and completely EXHAUSTED. But I have to tell you this story quickly. So it’s the day after Siobhan is born. I’m in the hospital bed and the world’s most amazing nurse, Tracey…or is it Traci…or Tracy…. anyway, she comes in to check on my…for lack of a better term…privates. Believe me, there is a lot of “stuff” going on down there after a baby comes out and it isn’t pretty. She says, “I have a group of nursing students shadowing me. Do you mind…” and before she can finish saying “…if they come in with me,” Greg is pulling the curtain open and saying things like “Come on in,” “Step on up,” “Don’t be shy,” and “Be sure to get in close for a good look.”
I looked at him aghast. I’ve never been more mortified. He has the gall to say to me, “I’m a scientist. I know the importance of getting practical experience in these matters and this is a great learning opportunity for them.” I’m ready to scream, “Learning opportunity?!? These are my…again… privates!”
I guess once you have a baby, all modesty is thrown out the window. I knew you would appreciate this story considering how many embarrassing things you’ve done and have happened to you. But please don’t tell anyone.
Okay, I have to get some sleep. Who knew that Siobhan would literally be sucking the life out of me?
From: Renee Greene – November 5, 2012 – 8:40 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Mortified!
That is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. And at the same time, one of the most disturbing. I’m not even sure what to say in a situation like this except thanks for confiding in me.
It reminds me of something I heard once. Can’t recall if it was a comedian or a friend, but it was something about how we women hide our bra and underpants under our clothes when we go to the gynecologist’s office because we don’t want the doctor to see them, and how ironic that is, since that doctor is going to be up in our privates – as you called them – checking it all out anyway. HA!
Speaking of which, I’ll be hitting the table tomorrow for my annual exam. TMI? ;)
Anyway, get some rest. I’ll be by your place in the next day or two to visit with my sweet angel.
From: Renee Greene – November 5, 2012 – 8:42 AM
To: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: Mortified! - CONFIDENTIAL
See email exchange below between me and Ashley, but know I was asked not to tell this to anyone. But really, how could I pass this up. I’m dying to hear your thoughts. And…go!
From: Shelley Manning – November 5, 2012 – 9:35 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Mortified! - CONFIDENTIAL
HA-LARIOUS! Miss Priss having the entire nursing staff staring at her you-know-what. (I see you cc’d here Ethan, so I’m holding back on my normally salty language). That’s just too funny for words.
But seriously, Renee. “I knew you would appreciate this story considering how many embarrassing things you’ve done and have happened to you.” You need to call her out on that shit.
And why is talk of your annual appointment TMI? I think chatter about spreading my legs is appropriate breakfast conversation.
From: PBCupLover – November 5, 2012 – 9:48 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Mortified! – CONFIDENTIAL
No need to hold back on the salty language, Shelley. That I can handle. However, talk about that other stuff is textbook TMI. Remind me never to have breakfast with you.
Also, I’ve got to say, reading this makes me appreciate that I’m NOT in the medical field. I think I would rather go blind.
From: Renee Greene – November 5, 2012 – 10:02 AM
To: PBCupLover
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Mortified! - CONFIDENTIAL
I love you guys. I can take Ashley’s comments any day when I know the two of you have my back.
From: cassidy – November 8, 2012 – 11:32 PM
To:
Subject: Fwd: Best Cat Video Award Winners
ha ha ha ha…these are good ones.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – November 10, 2012 – 11:52 PM
Bcc:
Subject: Help me save the Ta-tas - UPDATE
The big day is almost here…really almost here. (It’s nearly midnight!) Just can’t seem to fall asleep. Tomorrow, I will take on the annual (not mine, but the charitable organization’s) breast cancer awareness/fundraising run. Perhaps if I survive, this will become an annual tradition for me. But honestly, I’m just hoping to make it through the day.
Just wanted to thank you again for your support – emotional, financial and even physical, as in, I will be accepting all donations of foot massages.
I’ll email an update tomorrow. Thanks again!
From: Renee Greene – November 11, 2012 – 3:25 PM
To:
Subject: Lavish me with Praise, People
And today's gold star goes to....me!...for successfully completing the breast cancer awareness run, although I did walk for about half of it. But still, I finished and raised quite a bit of cash. All around, not too shabby.
I will now be accepting copious amounts of praise, compliments, accolades, attaboys, pats on the back and as I mentioned previously, foot massages.
In the meantime – in all seriousness – just wanted to thank each of you for donating to this cause on my behalf. I truly appreciate it. I’m lucky to be surrounded by such caring, supportive and – apparently – wealthy people. ;)
From: Shelley Manning – November 11, 2012 – 3:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
Congrats! You deserve all of the praise indeed for so selflessly walking the walk – literally – and not just talking the talk. Proud of you, Sweetie.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 11, 2012 – 3:38 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
That’s so fantastic, Renee. Really, truly impressive.
From: PBCupLover – November 11, 2012 – 5:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
Proud of you, Babe! Delighted you chose to support a cause that I can truly embrace.
From: Renee Greene – November 11, 2012 – 5:04 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
I think you just want to embrace my boobs!
From: PBCupLover – November 11, 2012 – 5:05 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lavish me wi
th Praise, People
Ah, you know me well.
From: cassidy – November 11, 2012 – 6:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
congrats from me and mark. were so proud of you. if you want to do it again next year, let me know and ill do it with you.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – November 11, 2012 – 7:02 PM
To:
Subject: Re: Lavish me with Praise, People
Oh go on
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:02 PM
To: Ashley Gordon, Shelley Manning
Subject: A New Baby Daddy
Guess who’s going to be a Baby Daddy?
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:05 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Ethan!?!?! Are you pregnant? Why would you – Miss Manners – break that news via email? How are you feeling? What can I do for you?
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:06 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
No! It’s not Ethan. I’m not pregnant. Jeez.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:07 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Ashley got knocked up. Could happen to you.
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Oh, you are SO lucky you took her off “cc” on that one. You know she’s so sensitive to that.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:11 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
I do. And as much as I love to have fun at her expense, I don’t want to traumatize Siobhan.
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Yes, my sweet angel doesn’t need the stigma.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:13 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
So? Who is it?
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:14 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Oh yeah. Almost forgot. That’s what I started emailing about. Jason Kite.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:16 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Really? How do you know? Do you still talk with him? Does Ethan know?
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:24 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
I haven’t spoken to him in more than a year. I happened to be reading some of the tabloid magazines while getting a mani/pedi. (I figured I deserved one after the run/walk yesterday.)
It’s the only time I indulge in all of that gossip. And right there, on page 39 – not that I’m obsessing or anything – it says that he and Amanda Kingsley, the British actress/model, are expecting a child together. So much for him wanting to lead a regular life, right?
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:29 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Perhaps after you dumped him, he needed to find comfort in the ultra-thin, highly-toned arms of a pin up girl.
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:34 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
HA! Yes, I’m sure he loves wrapping his tattooed arms around her tiny, pre-teen-boy-sized waist, over and over and over again. Despite the fact I’m blissfully happy with Ethan, I must say that I’ve remained curious about how Jason is doing and how my life would have been different had I gone down that path.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 1:37 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Don’t second guess yourself, Sweetie. Ethan is wonderful, you are happy, life is good.
From: Renee Greene – November 12, 2012 – 1:38 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
I know. You’re right. Just hard not to think about what might have been. Okay, enough of that. Talk with you later.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 12, 2012 – 2:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Uh, excuse me. I’m quite certain you two are emailing without me. What’s going on?
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 2:35 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Hi Ash. Sorry. We spun off on a separate tangent. Jason Kite has knocked up model/actress Amanda Kingsley and Renee is celebrating her wise choice in picking the amazing Ethan as her soulmate. That’s all.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 12, 2012 – 2:38 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Oh. I didn’t know. Now that Siobhan is here, I have no more time for gossip magazines. Well, stop talking without me. I don’t want to be left out of the loop. Just because I’m nursing all of the time, doesn’t mean I don’t like the scoop.
From: Shelley Manning – November 12, 2012 – 2:42 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
So noted. While Siobhan is on the breast, we’ll continue to keep you abreast. Am I Ha-Larious, or what?
From: Ashley Gordon – November 12, 2012 – 2:44 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A New Baby Daddy
Indeed!
Chapter 19 – I Do, Do Over
From: Renee Greene – November 16, 2012 – 10:13 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: JEALOUS?!?!
Heading out to the Spider Fire concert with my best guy tomorrow night. Jealous much? I’ll ring you up from the concert and let you listen in.
From: Shelley Manning – November 16, 2012 – 10:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: JEALOUS?!?!
Oooh. I am jealous. Have fun and yes, please bootleg a song or two for me. :)
From: Renee Greene – November 18, 2012 – 12:54 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
OMG! Why weren’t you answering your cell tonight! I can’t contain myself. I’m engaged to the most wonderful man. You will NOT believe what Ethan did at the Spider Fire concert. When we got here, for some reason our seats got upgraded to the orchestra section. I didn’t think anything of it beyond, HOW COOL. They played a few songs and I sang along; Ethan was fine that I was singing off key. Love that!
Then, Gene says that one of their friends has a special announcement he’d like to make. Ethan stands up and I think he’s heading to the bathroom. No, he’s heading up to the stage. I’m like, WTF?!? He gets up on stage, shakes hands with Gene and takes over the microphone. I’m about to pee my pants.
Then Ethan proceeds to tell the crowd how he screwed up one of the biggest moments in his life by proposing to me at a Bucs game and that he really wants a do-over. He asks me to join him on stage so he can ask me to marry him all over again. I can barely make my way up there.
It was the most beautiful, exciting, embarrassing, fantastic moment EVER. I think the only thing that could top it is if Spider Fire played our weddi
ng. ;) I don’t know how he did it, but it just reconfirmed to me that he gets me better than anyone.
This is a memory I will lovingly carry with me forever. I have a sneaking suspicion that you had something to do with this. Call me!!!
From: Shelley Manning – November 18, 2012 – 10:32 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
Just tried your cell. OMG INDEED! I cannot believe that. WOW! WOW! WOW! I’m sorry I wasn’t answering my phone. I was at the movies with Nick. Believe me, this was all Ethan. I might have suggested he consider a repeat performance (but he came to me for advice, I swear!), but this plan was all him. So glad you finally got the fairy tale. You deserve it, Sweetie.
From: Shelley Manning – November 19, 2012 – 9:12 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Clever boy
Well, well, well. Aren’t we clever? Renee emailed me right after the concert and I’ve heard nothing but this amazing story on the phone, in person, via text and Twitter tweets ever since. Good job, Ethan. Good job. How did you pull that off?
From: Renee Greene – November 19, 2012 – 10:30 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
Thanks. Looks like we both got our fairy tales, even if one of us didn’t know it’s what we wanted.
From: PBCupLover – November 19, 2012 – 11:45 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Clever boy