The Click Trilogy
Page 37
It took some doing. After your first emailed me with your brutally honest perspective, I started thinking about all of the things Renee loves most. Aside from (hopefully, me) and her friends, it’s Spider Fire.
One of my old fraternity brothers is an entertainment lawyer, so I called in a favor that he owed me and he called in a favor from a business manager, who called in a favor from a publicist, who called in a favor from a reporter and so on and so on. (Apparently, there’s a lot of favor-owing that takes place in the music industry.) And within a few weeks, I was on the phone with Gene explaining my mea culpa and begging for his help.
They were such cool guys. They totally understood why a do-over was needed. Gene even said, “A football game? That’s lame, bro.” So they were willing to work with me to make something special happen for Renee. They gave us better seats so it would be easier for me to get on stage and played a few songs so she wouldn’t suspect anything. Then they called me up to the stage so I could propose all over again.
And honestly, I’m not sure what Renee was more excited about – finally getting a proposal worthy of her awesomeness or getting a congratulatory kiss on the cheek from Gene.
All in all, it was a great night and a memory that will last her a lifetime.
From: Shelley Manning – November 19, 2012 – 12:12 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clever boy
Well, good for you. I give you full props for an outstanding effort and execution.
From: PBCupLover – November 19, 2012 – 12:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Clever boy
Thanks, Shelley. Coming from you, that’s a HUGE compliment. Thanks again for giving it to me straight.
From: Shelley Manning – November 19, 2012 – 12:17 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clever boy
I will always tell you the truth. Always. See you soon.
From: Renee Greene – November 19, 2012 – 1:32 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: THANK YOU!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Getting re-engaged to you at the Spider Fire concert ranks among my top three best days ever. I am so lucky to have found you and to be so in love with you. Can’t wait for our life together.
Miss you while you are in New York for the night.
XOXO, Me
From: PBCupLover – November 19, 2012 – 1:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Thanks Babe, but I’m the lucky one. Just want to make you happy because you are the most wonderful and amazing person I know.
So what are these two other “best days” that I’m competing with? I need to know what I’m up against so I can bump them down the list to make all of your best days involve me!
Love you!
From: Renee Greene – November 19, 2012 – 2:17 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Aw, thanks! It’s a love fest all around, huh?
The two other greatest days are as follows, but not necessarily in any particular order:
The day after college graduation, one of my roommates, her boyfriend, and his roommate were going out to a fancy restaurant for lunch to celebrate. I needed to pack up my stuff, as I was going to be leaving in the next day or two. Anyway, they convinced me to take a break for lunch and assured me I would be back in a few hours.
We indeed went for a great, celebratory lunch and had a really expensive bottle of wine. While sitting in the sun along the ocean (yes, I know, I was spoiled going to college right along the coast and not in Columbus, Ohio), the guys said, “Hey, let’s go sailing.” They had taken a sailing class in college and knew all about it. So we paid the bill and drove over to Balboa Island, rented a sailboat and went out on the water for an hour.
We worked up quite an appetite, so we went to a little Mexican restaurant for margaritas, chips and salsa. Then they decided we should go ride the roller coaster on the pier. Now, of course, I didn’t ride the roller coaster. They did. I don’t do thrill rides, as you know.
That reminds me of something funny in college. Even though I studied English and American Literature in college, I was in the math/science school and had to take calculus, biology, chemistry, organic chemistry and physics. I managed to pull in A in every class except physics, where I was just struggling. I went to class every day, went to the TA’s office hours, etc., but I just didn’t get it. It comes time for the three hours final exam. It’s six questions with about a half hour for each.
I’m trying the best that I can and turn the page for the last question. It starts out, “You are on an amusement park ride…” and proceeds to explain that you are standing along the edge of a big circle and it starts to spin. The floor will eventually fall out. You have to figure out, based on how fast the ride is spinning, how much you would have to weigh in order for you not to fall down.
I’m feeling exhausted and defeated already when the professor calls out “five minutes remaining.” So I write down as my answer, “I would never be on one of those rides. Those rides make me sick.” And then I turned my paper in.
I started to pray to the gods of partial credit that I just get enough points to pass. I think the TA took pity on me and recognized how hard I had been trying. I barely passed the class and it was my only poor grade in college.
But I digress. (OMG! Mark would be dying right now if he was reading this rambling email. He always jokes that I can never get to the point) Back to the story – and believe it or not, I’m only on Day 1!
So after the roller coaster, we played skeeball and some other arcade games. The guys decided we should all go home, clean up, dress up and go to dinner and dancing.
We gals were pretty wiped out. So after showering, my roommate and I called the guys and explained we were too tired. Instead we ordered gourmet pizzas and sat up all night eating pizza and ice cream while watching movies.
I didn’t get any packing done, but still managed to move out of my place on time. That day – without any responsibility or stress, filled with fun and friends – was truly one of my best.
The other was a random Saturday in college. My friend Mike (who I had a MAJOR crush on, but had: (a) a girlfriend named Caylee who went to a different college across town and; (b) zero interest in me aside from friendship) and I decided to hang out for the day for lunch and miniature golf. It was SO FUN! We laughed the whole time and just had a ball. Things were so easy and fun with him. But he never liked me as more than a friend.
Later that night, Mike and Caylee were supposed to see Pearl Jam in concert on campus. Caylee got angry that he was spending time with me, even though he assured her that we were just friends. I guess she was the jealous type. Not sure why she was jealous, since she was a tall, leggy, gorgeous blond and I was, well, me. But anyway, they got into a HUGE fight and he ended up taking me to the concert. Afterward, we grabbed a late dinner.
I don’t know if it was because he was so fun to be around, had the most striking green eyes, or I felt like I was a “bad girl” for coming between them, but it was a GREAT day.
And then, of course, our engagement ranks right up there.
My, oh my. This is a LONG email. Do I talk this much when we are together? I better get back to work. I’m going to be here late to make up for all this time emailing you. Good luck with your meetings and I’ll see you tomorrow night.
XOXO, Me
From: PBCupLover – November 19, 2012 – 3:03 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: THANK YOU!
Whew! That is a long email. And yes, you do talk that much. But that’s one of the many reasons I love you. ;) Luckily I’ve got inflight wifi and your stories to keep me company.
Love the story about physics. Reminds me of a philosophy class that Stuckey and I took junior year. He was taking the class for a grade and I was taking it pass/fail. I got an “A” on the mi
dterm, so I knew I was going to pass the class. All I had to do was show up for the final. Stuckey got an “A” too, but needed an “A” on the final. He studied his ass off, while I drank beer.
We get into the final and the professor says, using all of the different theories we discussed in class this semester, explain to me why this chair doesn’t exist. Stuckey spent 2 hours slamming down every theory and postulation he could think of. I wrote down, “What chair?” and walked out. It was awesome! I got my pass and he got his “A.” And we both drank a lot of beer afterwards.
Sounds like you had a GREAT time in college. Lucky for me, this Mike guy never wised up. ;)
Okay, I’m getting the final “turn off all electronic devices or else” looks from the flight attendants who have told me repeatedly to shut it down. Don’t want to get arrested upon landing for refusing to follow directions because I miss you and want to see you ASAP – not end up in jail first. See you soon, Babe.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 20, 2012 – 3:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Happy early Thanksgiving
Yes, it is early, isn’t it? About 3:00 a.m. Just doing a feeding and wanted to touch base and wish you guys a happy early Thanksgiving. We are going to Greg’s parents for dinner on Thursday. If you don’t have any plans, you are welcome to come with us. Let me know.
From: Shelley Manning – November 20, 2012 – 9:13 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
Sorry it has taken me six hours to respond. I’m usually much more prompt. But I was SLEEPING! Ah, I know that’s a luxury for you now, Ashley. Jealous? I know you’ve always secretly been jealous of me. But now it’s finally okay to admit it.
Thanks for the invitation, but I’m actually going to see my parents for the day. It will be my last visit for a while given the big move. Hope little Siobhan enjoys her first turkey day. Give her a hug for me.
From: Renee Greene – November 20, 2012 – 9:48 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
I will absolutely come sleep over sometime soon and take a night feeding for my sweet angel to give you a full night’s sleep. Just let me know.
Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to be in bed for Thanksgiving. Get your mind out of the gutter, Shel! I know that’s where it went. Actually, it was probably already there. ;)
I’m having a minor surgery in the morning and will need to rest for the weekend. I didn’t mention it before because it’s nothing serious and fairly routine. Ethan is going to be waiting on me hand and foot. I could get used to that! ;)
From: Ashley Gordon – November 20, 2012 – 10:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
@ Shelley: You’re half right. For the first time, I really am jealous. I’m admitting it. Sleep deprivation is making me delirious.
@ Renee: Lipo?
From: Renee Greene – November 20, 2012 – 10:08 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
NO! How could you even say that?!? Do you think I would do lipo? Do you think I need lipo?
From: Shelley Manning – November 20, 2012 – 10:10 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
WTF? I’d say it’s just the postpartum hormones causing her to be an insane bitch, but we know the truth. She would have made a fucked up comment like that on a normal day.
From: Renee Greene – November 20, 2012 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
I’ve grown used to it (I say with a slightly defeated sigh.)
From: Ashley Gordon – November 20, 2012 – 10:14 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
Oh, sorry! I am so exhausted and am just projecting my own poor body image onto you. You would never do lipo and you certainly don’t need lipo. So, what are you having done?
From: Renee Greene – November 20, 2012 – 10:20 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
Nothing serious. Nothing cosmetic! When I went to the gyno a few weeks ago, they found something unusual going on…down there. Just getting it checked out further. Again, no biggie.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 20, 2012 – 10:25 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
So sorry. Let me know if you need anything. Not that I’m in much of a position to help you. But I can send Greg over.
From: Shelley Manning – November 20, 2012 – 10:26 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
Ditto from me, Sweetie. I’ll send Greg over.
From: Renee Greene – November 20, 2012 – 10:28 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Happy early Thanksgiving
Thanks, ladies. Ethan will be here, so I’m in good hands. But I appreciate both of your offers to send Greg.
From: Renee Greene – November 22, 2012 – 10:22 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Thanks for your voicemail and sorry I was asleep when you called. I’m feeling fine. Just a little crampy.
I’m managing to keep my spirits up with this word-smithing…Mrs. Langer. Mrs. Ethan Langer. Mrs. Renee Langer. Mrs. Renee Greene-Langer. Okay, so it doesn’t look as romantic and exciting as it did when I wrote out my (imaginary) married name based on high school crushes. Email doesn’t really do justice to what I’m trying to convey…you know, the cursive writing, hearts instead of “a’s,” etc. This sure is fun. And it’s helping me avoid all of the football on the TV today.
p.s. Like the subject line? More Shakespeare! What? Can I help it if I’m too high-brow for you?
From: Shelley Manning – November 22, 2012 – 11:02 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
When are you going to knock off this Shakespeare crap, huh? You’re gonna get the high eyebrow if you don’t watch your tone, Sweetie.
Despite the literary reference, I’m delighted you are finally enjoying all of the excitement and loveliness of being engaged.
But I suppose you are right. Once you get married, you will need to make some decisions about your name. You know, “to be or not to be?” That is the question, no? (Check me out, tossing the Bard back atcha!) Glad you are feeling better, Sweetie!
From: Renee Greene – November 22, 2012 – 11:07 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
Shelley Manning! You clever, clever girl. How did you know that was from Shakespeare? I am BEYOND impressed.
From: Shelley Manning – November 22, 2012 – 11:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
It was 1996. Ryan Palmer and I were 15 and on our first date. He thought it would be romantic to take me to see Hamlet. I thought it would be romantic if we made out for 4 solid hours.
Needless to say, he was not as “advanced” as I was and was too scared to make a move. Sadly, I wasn’t as forward as I am today.
If it weren’t for Kenneth Branagh being such an Irish hottie, I would have been bored to death. And believe me, there was already enough death in Hamlet.
From: Renee Greene – November 22, 2012 – 11:22 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
UH-MAZING! Seriously, you continue to surprise me, my friend.
From: Renee Greene – November 26, 2012 – 9:52 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Lunch at Mel’s?
Hello, my lovelies. Wanted to see if we were still on for a post-Thanksgiving lunch at Mel’s tomorrow. Anything but turkey works for me. To Ethan, Thanksgiving was all about football: “Go big or go home!” And to me, it was about food: “Eat a lot and go home big.” Ha!
From: Ashley Gordon – November 26, 2012 – 10:03 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lunch at Mel’s?
YES! I cannot wait to have a little girl time that doesn’t include the little girl. If either of you have time after lunch, I’m desperate to do some clothes shopping. My maternity clothes are too big and my pre-baby clothes are still too small. Please say yes. I hate to shop alone.
From: Shelley Manning – November 26, 2012 – 10:14 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lunch at Mel’s?
Yes on lunch; no on shopping. Sorry. Getting my hair colored. You know, better living through chemistry. But looking forward to catching up.