Caught In Flames

by Natalia Banks

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sarina

  S arina checked the Where’s Grandma? files before sending them into the client. The finished pages had been composed of the scanned illustrations and the written text, completed in a software program designed for making comic books, and compressed into a large PDF file. The front and back covers were done separately, in the popular software program Photoshop and compressed as a single JPG .

  Sarina had enjoyed the process of creating Where’s Grandma?, and she was confident that it would be a big seller for her client .

  She sat at her computer in her little art room, drawing table empty nearby. In the other corner of her peripheral vision, Sarina couldn’t help but see a handwritten scribble on a piece of paper tacked to the cork board, near a cancelled check and a reminder to call the dentist: Pleasant Hills Assisted Living Residence in Pioneer Square .

  Sarina thought about Billie, the inspiration for one of the two main characters and the core of the entire book. Sarina wondered, Will she recognize herself in it? Will she ever read it at all? Can she still read? It’s probably been years since she’s even tried. By now, if she tried and failed, what would that do to her psyche, to her self-esteem? Maybe that would be enough to convince her that …

  But Sarina let herself trail off. She didn’t want to follow that train of thought. She knew where it led .

  I’ll just read it to her; it’s no big deal .

  Sarina sat there in the cold stillness of the room. Billie was napping and the house was quiet, and that only encouraged Sarina’s mind to wander. The MRI had been bad, and Dr. Li had made threats to contact certain authorities on her own if Sarina didn’t do it herself .

  But she just couldn’t, and the overriding hope that Dr. Li had been only pretending, was all that allowed Sarina to get a decent night’s sleep .

  Maybe the doctor’s right, Sarina couldn’t help but suggest to herself yet again, a notion she tried like hell to avoid. Am I doing her more harm than good by keeping her here ?

  But how could that be? In one of those places, they’d only stuff her full of the same damn pills and sit her in front of some crappy television show. Being in some care center wouldn’t stop the damage to her brain; it would probably hasten it. Anything they can provide for her there, I can offer here, plus all the love she needs !

  Sarina was convinced, at least to a certain degree. But the matter of Ty and Jesse had her much more confused .

  Jesse, Sarina thought, I wish I could see her again. I hope she’s not too upset that I’m not around anymore. Though it probably is better for her if she’s not around Gram too much; with her mood swings and irritability, I’d hate for her to frighten the poor kid. But how could she be better off without me? How could Ty be better off? With who, that firehouse hussy? I don’t think so. I should be with them; we should all be together; I can feel it in my bones… I can feel it all over .

  Sarina had to sigh. I guess I was too hard on Ty. He might have overstepped a bit, but he was only trying to suggest what he felt was best. I get that he doesn’t want to live with a deranged old woman; who does? But he should have known I’d never go for that. Why did he keep pressing me about it ?

  But Sarina already knew the answer. Because he cares about her, because he’s afraid she may get hurt .

  But I can take care of her, better than anybody else. Why doesn’t anybody understand that ?

  The phone rang, sending that familiar bolt of shock through Sarina’s over-alert senses, her muscles instantly cramping and contracting .

  Ty?

  Sarina picked up the phone. “Hello ?”

  After a tense little pause, a familiar voice said, “Sarina, it’s Ven, Ven Horn .”

  “Oh, right, Ven…hi .”

  “How are you doing ?”

  Sarina wasn’t sure how to answer. To lie wasn’t Sarina’s way, and to be truthful would be too complicated and none of Ven’s business. So she said simply, “All right. You ?”

  “Oh, fine, just fine.” He took a breath. “It’s funny, but…ever since I saw you in that grocery store, I-I just can’t get you out of my mind. I know what happened with us, I was…I lost the number, but I would have called if I could have. You’re a very special young woman, Sarina. I hope you know that .”

  “I do, Ven,” she said, knowing it would be the only time she’d use that phrase in his presence, as much as he seemed to hope otherwise. “And it’s very kind of you to say .”

  “I’m not just being kind; it’s true .”

  “Still, it’s very kind .”

  After another slithering little silence, Ven asked, “How about dinner Saturday night ?”

  Sarina wasn’t sure how to answer. “You know, my grandmother is still a very big part of my life .”

  “Well, that’s…that’s great, Sarina. You can tell me all about it. I hope she’s doing well .”

  Sarina wasn’t sure how honest Ven was being. It’s possible that he’s learned a lesson, Sarina told herself. He could have grown up a bit since I saw him last. Is it fair to judge him based on what happened a year ago, or especially what didn’t happen ? And if he’s willing to accept Gram and Ty isn’t, what does that show ?

  “We’ll go to Palisade,” Ven added, sensing he needed to sweeten the offer. “They’ve got great seafood .”

  Sarina was still on the fence, but she didn’t see very much harm in having dinner with an old friend, and she knew she could always end the night on those terms and probably would .

  She hesitated and reluctantly said, “Pick me up at seven ?”

  * * *

  V en Horn’s brown, curly hair had been freshly cut, and his loose-fitting shirt with short sleeves and a flat hem, seemed so new that it looked right off the shelf. Sarina was flattered that he’d go to such extremes to impress her, to present himself in an attractive light. But it was a red flag too, as far as Sarina was concerned .

  Lights dotted the ceiling of the Polynesian restaurant Palisade, where an iron suspension bridge led diners to their tables. Sarina looked at the oyster sitting on the plate in front of her, on the shell, and she knew what Ven’s intention was. He took another oyster from the appetizer plate and prepared it, sprinkling some Tabasco sauce and horseradish before sucking it straight out of the shell and swallowing it down .

  Sarina was relieved when their entrées came—the Hawaiian moonfish meal opah for her, delicious with a sticky and flavorful papaya, mango, and pepper salsa. Ven had the apple-wood-grilled herbi , and that spearfish smelled as delicious as it looked. But Sarina didn’t give it too much attention, half-afraid he was going to try to feed her from across the table .

  “So,” she asked, “how’s the optometry? ‘Got my eyes on you !’”

  “Nice one,” Ven said, swallowing a piece of fish. “It’s good, it’s real good. One thing about my line of work—eyesight just doesn’t last a lifetime.” Ven chuckled at his own line, shaking his head with some vague inner satisfaction before cutting into his fish again .

  “You were mentioning your grandfather,” Ven said, looking up in the pause to read Sarina’s impatient expression. “Grandmother,” Ven corrected himself, too fast and too loud, “that’s what I meant, grandmother. How’s she doin ’?”

  “She’s…she’s not doing well, I’m afraid.” Sarina decided to see how this man would respond to the truth, even perhaps a slight exaggeration of the truth. “I have to bathe her every night .”

  “Um…really ?”

  “Oh yeah, that’s just a part of life for us. And then of course there are the night terrors .”

  Ven lowered his fork. “Night terrors ?”

  “It’s like a bad dream times ten. And the screaming—that’s the bad part .”

  “The…the screaming ?”

  “Oh yeah, two or three times a night. I mean, I’m kind of used to it. I know it’s a lot harder on her than it is on me. I tried to wake her up one time, but she threw me across the room. I hit the wall hard, real
ly hurt my back .”

  Ven stopped chewing, the blood slowly draining from his face. “Yeah ?”

  “Oh yeah, she’s strong when she’s in one of those fits. It’s kind of scary. But it’ll be nice to have a man around the house, help hold her down .”

  “Hold her down.” Ven’s eyes widened as he repeated .

  “Just, y’know, five minutes tops; by then with the biting and the cursing, she usually tires herself out. And that’s really a pretty rare occurrence…once a night, twice at the most. It’s only when the dreams are really bad and she starts pounding the walls. We have to make sure she doesn’t break any bones .”

  “Righhhttt,” Ven said slowly, a vague nod to his head. He sucked down half his glass of wine. “Bones, of course.” Ven cleared his throat, forced a smile, and kept eating. “Well, who can blame her ?”

  Sarina thought about that, letting a long delay hang in the air while she considered his meaning. Unable to figure it out for herself, Sarina had to ask, “How’s that again ?”

  “Oh, well, y’know, the accident.” Sarina sat, waiting with a calm expression, eyes blinking, and an anticipatory silence. Ven went on, “Didn’t your family have an accident? A plane crash, right ?”

  “That’s right,” Sarina said, reviewing her memory. She never mentioned that to people without knowing them much better than she ever came to know this man. “How did you know that ?”

  Ven smiled sheepishly. “I have to admit, I Googled you before our date. I felt bad about knowing almost nothing about you.” Sarina sat there, not sure how to react. Reading that, Ven went on quickly to say, “I hope you don’t feel…y’know, violated. I didn’t look up your records or anything .”

  “No, I-I suppose I get that; it’s fine. But yeah, we had an accident. And you think there’s some connection between my grandmother’s…condition and that accident ?”

  “I don’t mean to be a drag or anything, but…after my grandfather died, my grandmother didn’t last six months. And I hear that kind of thing happens all the time .”

  “I hear the same thing,” Sarina said, unsure which way her judgment of that man would finally go. “Still, we all have losses and tragedies. But not everybody… ” She couldn’t finish the sentence .

  Ven reached across the table and set his hand on hers. Her instinct was to pull away, but she didn’t. It was hard not to imagine Ty’s hands in place of Ven’s, Ty in Ven’s place at the other side of that table. Sarina wondered if she’d ever stop imagining him, if she’d ever be happy with another man .

  “So, what ‘cha been up to?” Ven asked. “You’re a writer, right? Any new books ?”

  Sarina thought about it, and she was close to opening up to Ven, sharing something she was ready not only to share with Ty and Jesse but was inspired by them to create. No, she decided, leave them out of this .

  “Nothing too important,” she wound up saying, “same old forest critters, Happy the Duck and so forth. I can hardly keep track of them, tell you the truth .”

  “I can imagine,” Ven said, tearing a piece of bread off a small sourdough roll. “You must do a lot of books every year, no ?”

  “Some. Why ?”

  Ven shrugged, buttering the bread before popping it in his mouth. “Just curious .”

  But that didn’t settle right with Sarina. He’s not just curious. He wants to know how much money I earn. What was his interest in the accident—our insurance? The lawsuit settlement? Is that what he’s really after—the money ?

  Ty never showed any interest in that, but he did look me up too. Could he have been trying to work his way into my bank account too ?

  But Sarina didn’t have to think about that for long. No, not Ty. He’s well-established in his career and has sonority and rank. Besides, he’s not that kind of man, I just know it. This guy, I’m not so sure .

  Two hours of bad dancing later, standing embarrassed in front of graceless Ven, the opposite of Ty’s churning sensuality, Sarina asked that he take her home. They drove home to the tunes of Barry White, the deep-voiced soul singer known for his music’s amazing powers of seduction. Sarina almost broke out laughing .

  When they pulled up to her house, she opened the door while the engine was still running. “Thanks for a good time, Ven .”

  He turned the engine off. “I’ll see you to the door .”

  “No, that’s okay — ”

  “I insist.” By then he was already out of the car .

  Sarina walked with him to the front door. “Well, it was very gallant of you to see me all the way here, but I think I can handle it .”

  Ven smiled. “You want me to pop in, make sure nobody broke in while we were out ?”

  “No, really, I’m sure it’s fine .”

  “What about our grandmother? What if she needs some help or something ?”

  “She’s down the street; our neighbor will bring her by .”

  Ven glanced at the door, imagining the empty house behind it. “She’s not around, eh? Well, maybe we should go inside, have a quick cocktail…maybe one that’s not so quick .”

  Sarina had never tried harder to disguise her contempt, and she knew her smile fell far short of convincing. But by that time, she didn’t care. “No, Ven. Good-night .”

  “Well hold on now,” Ven said, his hands finding her slender hips. “We’ve had a good time; no reason to end it so soon .”

  “Yeah, there really is .”

  “Why, baby? What’s wrong?” He started to gently pull her closer to himself, thrusting his hips forward just a bit, a move Sarina recognized but had no interest in .

  “It’s late, Ven — ”

  “It’s not even eleven o’clock.” He tried to kiss her, but Sarina turned her head .

  “Stop it, Ven .”

  “Oh, c’mon. You remember that night, it was…awesome !”

  “No, Ven!” But he kept kissing her cheek, moving down to nuzzle the nape of her neck. “I said stop!” But by then words weren’t going to be enough, and Sarina’s arms snapped out in front of her, pushing Ven back and slapping him hard across the face .

  He looked at her, shocked and offended, hand to his cheek. “Hey! What the fuck ?”

  “Get outta here, Ven !”

  “What are you, psycho ?”

  “Get away before I call the police, goddamnit !”

  By then Ven was backing off, hands flat, posture bent and submissive. “All right, all right, Jesus Christ! Two-faced cocktease — ”

  Sarina swatted him with her handbag and shrieked, “I said go away !”

  “Fine, Christ!” He shuffled off with a huff. “G’night !”

  “Never come back,” Sarina shouted, fishing through her handbag for the keys. She jammed one in and gave it a hard twist, her eyes on Ven to make sure he walked all the way to his car in front and then got in. He drove off just as the front door opened in front of her, and Sarina pushed her way inside. She slammed the door closed behind her and slid the dead bolt closed .

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Sarina

  T wo days later, Sarina was thinking about Ty. The disastrous date with Ven Horn drove one point home: there wasn’t a man like Ty, and there surely wouldn’t be a better one, not for Sarina Dunne .

  She had to contact him immediately, she realized, and hope that he would still be receptive to her. Who knows? Maybe he’s wound up with that redhead at the fire station. She doesn’t seem like his type, but I thought I was his type too, and he probably thought the same thing. At least I thought he did. Whether or not he still does, I guess I’m gonna find out .

  The doorbell rang, and Sarina felt a mild reminder of the telephone shock she normally had to endure. But this time she knew who wanted her attention and why. She grabbed a twenty dollar bill which she’d set on the credenza near the front door and peered through the little hole. Satisfied by the young man’s blue and red hat, she opened the door .

  “Large pepperoni and mushroom ?”

  Sarina smiled an
d handed him the twenty, taking the thin, square box from him in return. “Keep the change,” she said, pulling back and closing the door. She walked down the central hall to the kitchen, calling, “Lunch is here!” and knowing Billie would soon show herself .

  Until she didn’t .

  “Gram? Pizza’s here, Gram !”

  No answer inspired a jump in Sarina’s heart rate. There were a number of reasons she wouldn’t get any answer from her grandma, but most of them created a coil of dread in her belly. “Gram ?”

  Sarina put the pizza box down on the kitchen counter and walked quickly to Billie’s bedroom on the bottom floor, not far from the kitchen, off the hallway. “Gram ?”

  Sarina knocked on the closed door, and getting no answer, she opened the door and stepped in. “Gram ?”

  But she was greeted with a growly, grizzly death scream, a panicked howl that send a shiver through Sarina’s body and soul. Billie charged out from a corner of the bedroom, where she’d been hiding, apparently in terror. Billie shocked Sarina with the suddenness of her assault, the volume of her shrill cry, and the old walking cane she’d used for a brief time after hurting her ankle. Billie had used it as a crutch, but now it was a weapon, and Sarina was her target .

  Sarina scrambled backward out of the room as her grandmother screamed and ran forward, dropping the handle of that walking stick down onto Sarina with clumsy precision. It banged against Sarina’s hand as she reached out for it, and it struck her forearm as she raised it to block another strike .

  “Gram, stop! Stop !”

  “Get away from me,” Billie screamed. “Get out of my house !”

  Sarina kept backing up as Billie progressed, that walking cane coming down harder and faster. “Gram, it’s me! It’s Sarina !”

  “You better get out before I call the police! The son’s coming home, and he’ll sue you! He’ll sue you !”