After the Pain

by Gia Riley

  My tears spill over my lashes as I break out into a full sob. I manage to choke out a choppy sentence as I struggle to get ahold of my emotions. “I love you and her so much. How can I miss her already? I just walked out the damn door!”

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, babe. If you want to turn around and go back home, we can. Just say the words.”

  “No. We should go to the party. I have to do this sooner or later. We already have your parents for the night. And you didn’t scare the shit out of your mother for nothing. We should go.”

  “Okay.” Sean kisses me sweetly on my lips before buckling his seatbelt and continuing the drive to Shorty’s.

  “Thank you, Sean. I know you just worked some of your therapist magic and I love you for it,” I say with a laugh. I’m crying one minute and laughing the next. Just call me head case Hallie.

  The bar is busy as usual. It feels weird coming here with Sean after avoiding this place for so long. Glancing at the stage, I’m reminded of all the times I stood up there and sang my heart out. I was a fool to keep it a secret. Thankfully, Sean and I were able to find our way back to one another thanks to our little peanut, Hope. The universe really does work in mysterious ways. I’d hate to think where the two of us would be right now if I hadn’t gotten sick that day at work.

  I spot Alex dancing with Tanner and roll my eyes at his theatrics. He has a circle of people forming around him and is shaking his ass in the middle of the crowd. Not many people ever get to experience a free spirit quite like him. Surprisingly, Amie is not on the dance floor. She’s in a booth with her husband talking animatedly about something.

  “Babe, I’m going to get a drink. What do you want?”

  “Huh?” I question. Between the music, watching Alex and concentrating on my phone, I have no idea what he just said to me.

  “Are you checking on Hope already, Hallie?”

  Of course I am. It’s been twenty minutes since I last checked my phone. That’s a new record. Granted I have no other experiences to base it off of, but everyone has to start somewhere. No sense lying. “I was just making sure they didn’t send me a text or anything. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, babe. Just focus on having fun tonight. I want you to enjoy yourself. Do you want something to drink?” He’s running his fingertips up and down my back soothingly. Before I can answer him, I’m reminded of our short tryst in the bedroom earlier tonight. I’d love to go finish what we started.

  “I guess a vodka cranberry. I haven’t had anything to drink in forever. I’ll probably be drunk after one sip.”

  “One drink will be okay, beautiful.”

  “Are you sure I should though? I’ll have to pump and dump if I drink.”

  “Yes, because I plan on doing a lot of pumping tonight,” he says as he plants a kiss on my lips right in the middle of the bar for everyone to see. I decide to up the ante and remind him of my missing attire. “I’m still not wearing anything under this dress.”

  I hear Sean groan and watch him pull his shirt down over his arousal before walking to the bar to get our drinks. Laughing to myself, I decide to go say hi to the birthday girl.

  “Hallie! You came!” Amie’s so excited she’s bouncing up and down on the bench seat of the booth. Her husband looks at me and smiles.

  “Of course I came. I wouldn’t miss your birthday.” There’s no need to tell her I almost turned around to go home twice. I really do want to be here despite how hard it was to leave the house. Sean slides into the booth next to me with our drinks. It doesn’t surprise me how quickly he was served.

  “That was fast.”

  “You really think I’d have to wait in line forever with these good looks?” I smack him in the chest and kiss his cheek. Sean’s probably the least vain guy I know. He never flaunts his panty-dropping looks and sometimes I even catch him blushing from my compliments.

  I take a sip of my vodka cranberry and gag at how strong it is. “Well this is going to be an interesting night if I have more than one of these.” Sean leans over and whispers in my ear, “Drink up. It’s already getting very interesting.” As he finishes the last word, his hand starts moving up my thigh and under my dress. I pounce on his hand with my own to stop his progression. “Behave,” I whisper shout.

  “I can’t agree to that,” he says with a wink.

  Maybe we should’ve had a quickie before we left the house. There’s entirely too much pent up sexual energy between the two of us to be out in public. It does add a level of excitement to the night though. I’m grateful he’s able to distract me so easily. How long has it been since I’ve checked on Hope?

  “Hallie Mae get your ass out here. I’ve only got you for one night and I’m going to make it worth your while.” I’m hesitant, but Tanner looks like he could use a break. It’s not easy to keep up with Alex when he’s in one of his moods.

  “Alex, let me ease back into this. It’s been awhile.”

  “Oh please. You had a baby, you didn’t become a nun. I know what you’re capable of. Come on, baby girl.”

  “How are you always so damn hyper?” I ask as I shake my head and slide out of the booth. The back of my legs stick to the vinyl making it slightly painful. I wouldn’t mind if I happened to leave half of my ass behind though. These last few pregnancy pounds are sticking around entirely too long.

  “Shit girl, you look smoking hot in that dress. No wonder you’re late.” He wiggles his eyebrows in delight.

  “You should see my stretch marks. Not so hot.”

  “Oh shut it. You have a sinfully delicious man who could give two shits about stretch marks. Look at him sitting over there gawking at you like a love sick puppy.” I turn around and blow Sean a kiss. He humors me and catches it. I was self-conscious for Sean to see me naked after my belly deflated and the ugly stretch marks didn’t disappear with the rest of me. He said they were a sweet reminder of his little girl and thought they were beautiful. He took his time kissing each mark, proving to me how beautiful my body is to him. I can’t argue with his logic because it made me love him even more.

  Alex and I dance until my toes go numb in these god awful heels. I’d love to kick them off but the floor is covered in spilled alcohol and sweat. There’s not enough hand sanitizer in the world to convince me to take my shoes off despite the biting pain. Alex twirls me around playfully and I’m thankful he’s here to dance with me. Sean isn’t a dancer unless it’s a slow song and I love to shake my ass to anything and everything. It’s probably why Alex and I got along so well in college.

  “I’m thirsty; let’s go do a couple shots!” Alex shouts. I think I can handle a little more to drink despite my low tolerance. My first drink was strong, but small. I’ll just pace myself.

  “Alex, slow down!” I’m a little out of breath by the time we reach the bar. There’s a crowd of people waiting for drinks but Alex shimmies in between two college girls, complimenting them on their atrocious outfits. They let him slide in and think he’s the best thing ever, as usual. Within five minutes, Alex exits the bar with an entire tray of shots. “Holy hell, you are thirsty!”

  “Three for me and four for you. Morgan let me borrow her tray so we can slam these babies back and go dance some more!”

  “I can’t drink four shots!” I actually can but I’m a little nervous about the tequila staring back at me from its spot on the tray. I have a love hate relationship with the hard stuff. It doesn’t seem so bad now, but always comes back to kick my ass a time or two later. I’d like to be able to enjoy Sean tonight after we get home - and remember it.

  “You can and you will. Red headed sluts are your favorite and that one is tequila, my favorite.”

  “I’m going to kill you for this in the morning when my little girl’s screaming her head off and my head blows up. In fact, I think you should come make us breakfast in the morning. Then I can’t get pissed at you for sleeping in.”

  “I already warned Sean he’s on baby duty in the morning. He’s prep
ared.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes! You need tonight woman. It’s been too long.”

  “Cheers to that!”

  Amie comes over to see what we’re up to. “Are some of those for me?” She asks hopefully.

  “Nope, but I will gladly get you some of your own, be right back.” He’s going to be broke by the end of this night. I know he doesn’t care though. I look over to the booth where Sean is talking with Tanner and Amie’s husband, Todd. They’re deep in conversation about something. Before I turn my head, I see Sean wink at me. I love that he could sense my eyes were on him from all the way across the room. God, he’s sexy.

  “Are you checking out my man?” Alex asks when he returns with four more shots. He obviously saw our little exchange.

  “You’re a mess, Alex.”

  Alex lifts the first shot, clanks his glass against mine and Amie’s before we all toss back the warm liquid that burns the entire way down. We probably shouldn’t have started with the strongest shot. I can feel the alcohol warming my body from the inside out as the burn continues all the way to my stomach. The next three shots go down with ease and taste delicious in comparison.

  “Alex, I gotta pee. I’ll meet you back on the dance floor.” I grab Amie and pull her along with me. We can’t stop laughing about everything and nothing at all as we walk into the bathroom. The alcohol has hit me like a freight train leaving me in a buzzed state of bliss. I’m humming a random song and dancing in the stall.

  “You okay over there?” Amie’s laughing at my nonsense from her own stall. I feel like a pin ball bouncing around the stall each time I lose my balance. It’s been awhile since I’ve worn heels too.

  “I’m good, but I can’t find my wristlet. Did I leave it with Alex?”

  “I don’t remember if you had it or not. Did you flush it?”

  “I sure as hell hope not!” I’m frantically searching the stall, but come up with nothing. It’s not on the counter either, so I wash my hands and try not to panic.

  Amie gives me a hug and assures me, “It’s always in the last place you look.”

  “We should look their first then. Come on.” You gotta appreciate the logic of two drunk girls. We’re exiting the hallway leading into the billiards room when I try to squeeze by a group of people. There’s nowhere for me to move and I’m met with an oncoming pool stick to the gut as a guy leans into his shot. Thankfully the alcohol numbs most of the pain quickly but my ribs will definitely be sore in the morning.

  “Shit! Are you okay?” I hear a familiar voice ask. I’m still trying to register what happened as I hold my side, gritting my teeth through the pain I’m able to feel.

  “Hallie?”

  I look up and am met with a concerned expression from none other than Colby. We’re both staring at each other completely speechless. He probably assumes I moved back home since that was the plan the last night I saw him. I figured he would still hang out at Shorty’s after I left, but I haven’t been back since I said goodbye to him. There’s been no chance for our path’s to cross until now. Hell, he has no idea I was even pregnant now that I think about it. It really has been a long time since I’ve seen him.

  I told Colby I’d stay in touch with him, but out of respect for Sean, I decided against that. Sean isn’t the kind of guy to tell me who to be friends with, yet I know he isn’t a fan of Colby. I’d put our family before a friendship every single time if I was faced with the choice again.

  “Hey Colby. Nice shot.” The pain is starting to lessen at least.

  “I’m really sorry. I should have looked behind me before I pulled my stick back. Are you okay?” He reaches for my hand holding my side and brushes over my engagement ring. His expression morphs into one of surprise when he realizes what it is. “Wow.”

  I pull my hand back and cover it with my other. I’m not at all ashamed of my ring, but it’s no secret he tried to get with me a time or twelve. He could have one of many different reactions to this news. “I’m okay. It was as accident.”

  He shakes his head in acknowledgement of my words. “So what’s the story there,” he says while he nods his head down at my ring. I notice he’s looked over his shoulder twice since I’ve been standing here. I’m not sure if he’s in a hurry to get back to his game or what he’s doing. Maybe I make him nervous.

  “I’m engaged,” is all I offer up.

  “I assumed that much. To Captain Douchebag?” he questions.

  “His name is still Sean,” I remind him for the millionth time since we’ve met.

  “So when’s the big day?”

  “We don’t have a date yet. Things have been busy.” I’ve been busy being pregnant and having a baby, but I don’t plan on telling him more than the bare minimum. I really don’t owe him anything.

  “Sounds convenient for him.” He crosses his arms, immediately becoming more standoffish than when the conversation first started. I didn’t expect him to take the news well though. Even knowing that, I didn’t think he would still be so hung up on Sean.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I cross my own arms, standing up taller. I don’t back down easily, so if he’s trying to intimidate me, it won’t work.

  “Just what I said. It’s his selfish way of keeping you on a tighter leash without having to go through with anything permanent.”

  Is he serious right now? This reunion is pissing me off. And when I get pissed I run my mouth even if I try not to. “Colby you couldn’t be more wrong about things. We have a daughter. It’s more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Our lives have been so hectic and I wasn’t about to get married while I was pregnant. Not that I need to justify my relationship to anyone, but we’re both in it for the right reasons.”

  His eyes run up and down my body, inspecting me for any signs of pregnancy I guess. “I’m happy for you, Hallie.”

  Sure he is. “You have a funny way of showing it, Colby. It was nice talking to you, I think.” I’m about to turn around and walk away when I spot another familiar face approaching Colby.

  “Babe, it’s your turn.”

  You have got to be kidding me right now. “How the hell do you two know each other? And why are you calling him babe, Audrey?”

  “FUCK!” COLBY SAYS AS HE laces his hands behind his head, breathing deeply like he just ran a mile. Now I know why he kept looking over his shoulder while we were talking. He was obviously worried about his past colliding with his present. For all I know they could be the same damn thing.

  Poor Amie is still standing next to me observing this unexpected spectacle. I should be paying attention to her on her damn birthday, but I can’t just walk away now. Not until I get to the bottom of whatever it is that’s going on. “Amie, can you go tell Sean I need to talk to him.” I silently plead to her with my eyes to hurry. She rushes away without responding understanding that this is a serious situation that’s about to blow up.

  “So, who’s going to talk first?” I question as I look back and forth between the two of them. They’re both wearing guilty expressions and seem less than eager to jump into the deep end of the conversation pool. Neither of which surprises me.

  “Listen, Hallie. This isn’t exactly what it looks like,” Colby says.

  “Then tell me exactly what it is.” I feel Sean’s arms wrap around my body from behind. I don’t even need to turn around to know it’s him. My body sags with relief knowing he’s behind me and I don’t have to face this encounter alone. Confrontation is never pleasant, but I know something big is about to go down.

  “Audrey, what have you done now?” Sean asks. “I can’t keep bailing you out of messes. When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions? If this has anything to do with me, you’re going to wish you never met me. That much I can promise you.”

  “Was that a threat? I swear if you touch one hair on her body, douchebag, you’ll wish you never met me!” Colby says in response to Sean’s promise.

  “Guys, stop! We’re in
public. Either you keep your voices down, or we go outside and finish this conversation,” I plead. Already a few heads have turned in our direction wondering what all the fuss is about. “On second thought, let’s just go outside and sit at one of the tables. I need air.” I start walking out of the bar without waiting for approval.

  We sit around the iron table like it’s a friendly gathering. We know better than to assume this is anything but business. “Colby, I just want you to be honest with me. Just tell me how you know Audrey. That’s what I need to know. I already know about her history with Sean.”

  Thankfully, Colby doesn’t make me wait any longer for an explanation. “We’ve known each other since your boy toy left her ass pregnant and alone. My family moved into the house next to her parents. I saw her outside one day and introduced myself. She was a skittish little mouse, afraid to even look at me. It took me awhile to break down her walls, but once I did, I swear I wanted to come find Sean and bash his face in.”

  “Me? What the fuck did I do? I’ve been on her side my entire life. She was once my whole world. She. Broke. Me! It wasn’t the other way around. Whatever twisted story she told you, was the wrong damn one.” I grab Sean’s hand and hold it, urging him to calm down. I already know the leaps and bounds he’s gone through to protect Audrey. He still goes above and beyond for her because he’s a good man, not because he has to.

  Colby jumps right back into the conversation, letting accusations fly. “She didn’t have to tell me much to know you abandoned her. Then when she lost the baby, you never came around at all. Who does that to a girl they are supposed to care about? I was the one by her side at night when she was alone and having nightmares. She snuck into my bedroom window just so she could get a few hours of sleep where she felt safe.”

  Sean runs his hands through his hair and over his face. I can tell old memories are resurfacing and he’s struggling to keep his cool. “Colby, I don’t owe you any explanations, but let me tell you something. Before you go running your mouth and accusing me of being a low-life, you should get your facts straight. I loved Audrey, but I wasn’t enough for her. You can use your imagination on that one since I refuse to entertain you with her mistakes. Just know that what we lived through was more real than anything you have ever experienced in your life.” He pushes his chair away from the table, the iron screeching against the concrete patio. Looking out into the field next to the bar, Sean lets out a deep breath. “Audrey, you know I tried to save you. I tried to save us, but you can’t save something that wasn’t meant to be or doesn’t want saving.”