After the Pain

by Gia Riley

  “Is that supposed to make her feel better, dickhead?” Colby challenges.

  I’ve had it. “His name is fucking, SEAN!” Three pairs of eyes are on me — surprised with my outburst.

  “Don’t get worked up, baby. It’s okay.” He’s holding me close to his chest that’s so tense I can feel the hard rigid muscles straining through his shirt. “This was her first night out since the baby was born and it’s been nothing but a cluster fuck. I’m sorry, Hallie.” He kisses the top of my head and rubs my shoulders.

  “No. I’m the one who’s sorry,” Audrey’s tiny voice says as she decides to participate in the conversation for the first time. “Everything that has happened was because of me. I talked Colby into helping me get you back, Sean. His job was to distract Hallie enough that she would either fall for him, or give me enough time to get you back. I thought if I filled her head with enough lies, she would start hating you, leaving the door wide open for me to convince you we were meant to be. The truth is, I never stopped loving you. I was angry- so damn angry. If you weren’t with me, I didn’t want anyone else to have you.”

  “So screwing with her was you’re only answer?” Sean asks.

  “Sean, you’re all I’ve known. You knew I was struggling and you loved me enough to get me help, but what I needed the most was you. I wanted you back. It’s as simple as that.”

  “That’s not simple at all, Audrey. It’s wrong,” Sean tells her.

  I can’t believe this. Colby and Audrey were in cahoots the entire time trying to break us apart. Every argument, fight, misunderstanding and mystery note was orchestrated by the two of them. I almost lost Sean because someone else was pulling the strings in my relationship. I’m glad to know I wasn’t losing my mind, but holy hell. None of this is okay.

  “Audrey, I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt for months and months. I’m tired, Audrey. I’m tired of this merry-go-round you have us on. I’m officially getting off this fucked up ride. I want you and Colby to leave me and my fiancé alone. For good this time.”

  “I know. I will. Really, I know this was wrong of me. I’m still in therapy, but I’ll come clean to my therapist and let her know everything I’ve done.”

  “Audrey, you deserve better than the pain you keep setting yourself up for. I could take this to the police and get a restraining order and have a case opened against you. You know that, right?” Sean tells her.

  “I know,” She confirms.

  “I’m not going to do that because I want you to get better, Audrey, and your best shot is to continue your therapy. Be the girl I once loved. Find her again and love your life again. You have to want that for yourself though. There’s not enough therapy in the world that can make you feel anything other than what you let yourself believe. Start believing again, please.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sean.”

  “I know you are. Fight, Audrey. Please keep fighting for your future. Don’t let your past win.”

  Tears are freely flowing down my cheeks as I watch Sean try to get through to Audrey one last time. Knowing he holds her responsible yet still wants the best for her, makes me realize he’s an even better man than I ever imagined. It would be so easy for him to throw the book at her and walk away without a second thought. That’s not the man I fell in love with though. I chance a glance at Colby who is watching their exchange cautiously. I have a feeling there’s a lot Audrey has failed to fill him in on about her past.

  Sean then turns his focus to Colby. I’m nervous about this escalating but I don’t think Sean would ever make it physical. He’s not that kind of guy. “Colby, I don’t know what kind of bullshit you filled Hallie’s head with, but the same goes for you. Get your shit together and move on. I have a pretty good feeling the girl you actually care about isn’t Hallie. You wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble to mess with Hallie if you didn’t care about Audrey.”

  Colby doesn’t make any confessions, but he nods his head in agreement.

  “Then I suggest you both put all your efforts into each other. Think of all the time you’ve wasted on us. Like I told her, figure out what makes you happy.” Sean holds out his hand for Colby to shake. Colby hesitates for a few seconds, before reaching out and accepting the truce.

  “Hallie, can I talk to you alone for a minute,” Colby asks.

  I look to Sean for reassurance. When I see he’s okay with it, I walk over to the table at the other end of the patio. I have nothing to hide from Sean, but if Colby needs to be away from Sean and Audrey in order to speak his peace, I’m okay with that. I sit down and wait for him to begin.

  “I guess I want to apologize for making your life difficult.”

  “You guess? That doesn’t seem like much of an apology, Colby.”

  “You’re right. I’m not used to apologizing. I’m sorry, Hallie.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But I did want to let you know that all of our time together wasn’t because of Audrey. I enjoyed your company. You’re a kick ass girl and I genuinely did wish you were mine a few times.”

  “But you just admitted you cared about Audrey. Were you lying?” I shift in my seat, ready to get up and leave the conversation if he can’t be truthful with me.

  “No. I do care about her a lot. I know I love her, but it was so easy with you. There was no drama, no past, and no nightmares wearing you down every day. You were chill and made me laugh all the damn time. It was just nice having fun again without stress. Not every moment was orchestrated like you may think it was. You definitely kept me on my toes and your voice had me mesmerized.”

  “Love is never easy, Colby. You have to work at it every day. I know Audrey has a shitty past she’s trying to deal with, but I’d like to believe you can have all those same moments with her.”

  “Maybe,” he cautiously states.

  “You won’t know unless you try. But if you don’t think you want that with her, don’t string her along. That will only hurt her more. Be honest with her. Okay? Chicks appreciate honesty.”

  He laughs at my last statement. A hint of the carefree Colby peeks out and I smile knowing Audrey will be in good hands if they can ever get on the same page with their emotions. “We should head back over,” I say.

  “Thanks, Hallie. For everything.” I give Colby a hug and decide to leave all of my anger and resentment here on the patio. Sean and I will definitely be having a conversation about all of this, but I’d much rather start focusing on our future, just like he advised Audrey to start doing. We have a wedding to plan, and I’m ready to be a bride.

  Sean and I have a tough time getting back into party mode once the conversation with Audrey and Colby ends. Instead of joining the group right away, we stay outside and take a breather. It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that two people were doing everything they could think of to break us apart. I’m slightly in shock when I think about every threatening message I’ve received, the way I was being watched without my knowledge coupled with the fact that I’ve spent a lot of private time with a man who was capable of duping me. It’s not easy for me to trust people and I can’t believe I didn’t ask more questions about Colby. I was in a cab with a fraud the very first night I met him.

  He seemed like a normal guy doing what he loves – singing and having a fun time at Shorty’s. I had a feeling he had something in his past he was trying to work through, but we’re all working through things at one time or another. That’s just how life works. Maybe I should have pushed him for details. Maybe I should have dug deeper into his emotions. Maybe I was guilty of just wanting to have an easy-going time too. Just like Colby.

  “You know there’s nothing you could have done differently. You were just living your life the best way you knew how to,” Sean assures me. It amazes me the way this man can read my body language without me having to speak a single syllable.

  I rest my head on his shoulder and take a deep breath, “You always read my mind. I just feel so incredibly played.”

  “Baby, I’m so
sorry she orchestrated that whole mess. I should have protected you more. I knew what she was capable of and I also knew something was off about Colby from the moment he carried your sleeping body into your house. That night my instincts were on high alert to watch out for him.”

  “And I went behind your back and saw him without you knowing. I’m a terrible person, Sean.”

  “Hallie, you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. You don’t have a terrible bone in your body and I know your body really well.”

  I laugh and snuggle closer to his body. “Can we go home now? I really just want to see Hope and fall asleep in your arms. That’s my happy place.”

  Sean kisses the top of my head and holds my body close to his own. I can feel his heart beating and am reminded of the promises I made to him earlier tonight. Yeah, we definitely need to go home right now. “Let’s go say goodbye to the gang and then we’ll leave.”

  “Okay.”

  When we walk through the doors of Shorty’s, a slow song is playing. God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton just happens to be one of my favorite songs. Sean knows this from how often I play it.

  “Dance with me, beautiful,” Sean whispers in my ear. Goosebumps break out over my entire body as his warm breath meets my ear.

  “I’d love to.” Sean leans down to kiss me softly. He may not be much a dancer, but swaying back and forth to the music, he’s amazing at that. “I hope the next time we dance we’re at our wedding.”

  “God, Hallie, I can already picture you walking down the aisle to me.”

  “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Thomas. Sometimes I feel like I already am, but I want it in writing.”

  “I know you wanted Hope to be our flower girl, but I don’t think I can wait much longer. We can still find a role for her in the ceremony, but I want the three of us to have the same name and be an official family of three.”

  After everything that went down tonight, I want nothing more than to make him mine forever. It’s been great being engaged, but I’m ready for the final step. There won’t be another man in this lifetime made for me the way he is. “I’ll tell Amie and Alex we’re going dress shopping tomorrow.” Hopefully he won’t be too hung over, but something tells me he’d show up on his death bed regardless. I told him he could skip the whole dress selection process, but he insisted that a man of honor should do all the same things as a maid of honor. So, I’m not going to screw with his title. If he makes me look like a fool I’ll kill him though.

  “You’re sure about this?”

  “I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life, Sean. Now take me home and get me naked.”

  “Baby, I love you so much. Come on. We’ll send them a text on the way home.” I laugh at his urgency to get me home and follow him to the car. It’s tough to walk on the gravel in the parking lot so my pace is slow — obviously too slow for Sean’s eagerness. Before I know what’s happening, he scoops me up and jogs the rest of the way to his truck, carrying me effortlessly. I laugh the entire way but stop when I sense him undressing me with his eyes.

  I wait for him to climb inside the cab of the truck before climbing on top of his lap, straddling his hips. We kiss passionately like two teenagers who can’t get enough of each other. His body presses into mine, making me lean backwards. Before I know it, I’m lying on the horn of the steering wheel, scaring the hell out of myself. “Shit!” I yelp, clutching my chest in surprise. Sean kisses me one more time before plopping me back into my seat. He secures my seatbelt around my body, never taking his eyes off of me for even a fraction of a second. I’m so turned on right now; I would do just about anything to have him. It appears I’m going to have to wait.

  Sean pulls out of the parking lot without saying a single word. His body language alone has me so worked up I could probably be tipped over the edge just from hearing his voice. My man is sexy as sin tonight. My cell phone chimes with an incoming message. I rush to find my phone. It could be about Hope.

  Alex: You two are prob naked by now. Let me know you’re okay. Amie said things were intense.

  Hallie: I’m good. Date tomorrow. My house by noon. No exceptions!

  Alex: Where to?

  Hallie: Wedding dress shopping. Bring Amie.

  Alex: Holy shit! Bout time beautiful. Go get some.

  Hallie: You too! Love you.

  Alex: Love you more.

  I put my phone back inside my bag realizing I’m seriously going shopping tomorrow for my wedding dress. I’m not going to sleep for shit tonight with the excitement I’m feeling right now.

  I’M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT finding my dress today. What if nothing looks right on me? My body’s changed a lot since I’ve had Hope. My ass seems bigger, hips slightly wider and my boobs are fuller thanks to breastfeeding. I don’t even have a specific look I’m going for. Vintage lace seems like something I would be drawn to, yet I want to try some modern fit and flare styles too. I’m told I’ll know when I find the one. Let’s hope finding the right guy was the hardest part.

  Our first stop is intimating as all hell. We walk inside the boutique and are met with a white palace that looks how I’d imagine heaven might. Everything’s draped in white elegance, crystals and extravagant price tags. The mannequins in the displays make every dress look flawless so it’s tough to tell what would look good on me. Maybe I can carry one down the aisle and just hide behind it. My luck her head would fall off and roll down the aisle, ruining the moment.

  While I’m still busy checking out my surroundings, Alex and Amie are already five dresses deep into their selections for me to try on. I’m ushered to a dressing room without seeing any dresses at all. I’ll let them have their fun and then throw in my two cents. The store associate is busy asking me my bra size, and practically stripping my clothes off my body. Before I know it, I’m hovering in the corner like a skittish kitten. What the hell is going on in this place? I’m also getting an unnecessary view of my entire body from four different mirror angles. I need some Spanx. Are these fun house mirrors?

  The first dress is up and over my head before I can even shout out my cup size. They could at least ask me about my wedding before they get me naked. “Um, I think this one might be too tight. I can’t breathe very well,” I tell the consultant who’s busy lacing up the corseted back. Each tug on the silk laces has me closer to passing out.

  “You can breathe when your husband removes the dress after the wedding. Fashion isn’t painless my dear,” she says with certainty. She finishes cinching me up into the white dress of death before ushering me out to stand on the carpeted podium for my final assessment in front of the firing squad. They have about two seconds to tell me they hate it before I faint. This is not the dress of my dreams!

  Amie’s laughing at me as says, “You look like a cupcake.”

  “Nope. That’s not it,” Alex says with a snort. Who picked that shit out?

  Thank God! I go back into the dressing room without a second glance in the mirror and start the process of allowing air to reach my lungs again. “They were right; this isn’t a great look for you. Not everyone can pull off this type of glamour.” I peek my head out of the dressing room door and frantically wave my hands to get Alex’s attention. He’s too busy messing with his phone to see me. As a last resort, I dig out my cell phone and text him.

  Hallie: Get your ass in here!

  Within thirty seconds, Alex is jogging down the hallway, dress in tow. “Hallie, can I come in?” he asks. I’m yanking him inside the small cage before he even knows what hit him. I silently plead with him to save me from this woman. “Yvette was it? Do you mind if I talk with Hallie for a minute?” He flashes his stunning smile and she lights up like a Christmas tree.

  “Well, I suppose that will be okay. Let me know if you need anything. I wouldn’t waste your time with the dress you’re holding though. It’s not going to flatter her hips.” She pulls back the curtain and pulls it shut.

  “What a bitch!” Alex whispers. “I’m sorry I lef
t you with her.”

  “It’s okay. I just didn’t want the coroner’s report to read death by dress asphyxiation.”

  Alex laughs, “how about you tell me what you want and we’ll make it happen. I got carried away out there with Amie. Forgive me, beautiful?”

  “You’re lucky I love you.”

  “The luckiest. Oh, I found something else I wanted to show you too. Let me grab it.”

  Alex walks out of the dressing room and a couple of minutes later the curtain is rustling again. I can hardly believe my eyes. Standing before me, is my mom! Of course she was invited to help me find my dress, but I didn’t think she was going to be able to make the trip. While on vacation last week, she got tossed around in a series of waves and ended up breaking her ankle. I’m absolutely shocked she’s hobbled into my dressing room to share this moment with me.

  “Mom!”

  “You didn’t think I’d let this joker pick out your dress without me did you,” She says as she holds onto Alex for support. She adores him as much as I do and their relationship has been one of a son and mother ever since she met him. I know it’s been easier for her to let go of her youngest daughter knowing she had him to protect me all these years.

  “Let’s get you a chair. I can’t believe you’re here right now. You guys just made my day even better.” Realizing I’m only half dressed, and can’t go grab a chair, Alex takes it upon himself to pick up my mom and take her to the chair instead. She’s laughing the entire way. When he finds one, he gently sets her in it and pushes the entire chair over in front of my dressing room. I’m laughing hysterically as I watch Yvette’s expression of concern mixed with shock over where he’s planning on going with her. I’m used to things like this when it comes to Alex, but I take it she’s anything but.