If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “How? I’d do anything,” she says, so eager, and my heart melts at that. She’d literally do anything to repay me and that, to me, is what friendship is all about. I love her for it.

  “Well… you could let me edit that book you told me about. I’ve already set you up as an indie author, and I would be honoured to help self-publish it for you,” I announce, grinning.

  Her mouth gapes open, her eyes completely wide open. You could hear a pin drop.

  “Holy fucking shit!” she screams, and I wince, laughing as I move my head away. “How the hell did you do this? Where’s your fucking magical wand, woman?”

  “My wand?” I ask, giggling.

  “Yeah. You’re like a fairy fucking godmother without the whole dress thingy,” she says, her arms gesturing to my outfit.

  I laugh harder, shaking my head. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m just Lola.”

  “Just Lola, my ass. You, Lola Lawson, are truly fucking amazing. You have the kindest heart I know. I’ve honestly never met anyone like you. You’re not selfish, bitchy, mean or even self-centred. You’re just you, who is kind, generous, caring, lovable and I could go on.” She laughs. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say,” she admits, sitting down in shock now that the excitement has worn off. “What did I do to deserve this?”

  “Hey, you did everything to deserve this,” I tell her, taking back my seat. “Now, c’mon, we need to go over these plans. I need to see what you agree and disagree with.”

  “Where do you want to start?” she asks, getting her shit together.

  “Office equipment? I can’t order anything just yet since I’m waiting to hear back about the keys next door.”

  “They’ve been trying to sell that place for years, hon. I’m so glad it’s you moving in there,” she tells me, and I smile wide.

  “I can’t wait to tell Dean,” I tell her, clapping my hands.

  “I still can’t believe you managed to keep this from him,” she says in awe. “That guy is so stellar, he can tell me what I had for breakfast.”

  I laugh with her, nodding in agreement. “He knows I’m here to talk to you about something, just not what it’s about. But I’ll tell him. I can’t wait to surprise him.”

  “Let’s get some of this done so you can go and fill him in on everything,” she says, then stands up to get her laptop, coming back with a wide grin still on her face.

  *** *** ***

  My phone rings, and when I go to answer, I notice two and a half hours have passed.

  “Holy crap! We’ve been going through this for almost three hours.” I giggle before answering the phone. “Hello?”

  “Hey, baby. Is everything okay? You’ve not called yet, and I thought you wanted to go to dinner before getting ready for tonight.”

  I smile goofily down the phone. “I’ve been busy, but you can come pick me up now if you’d like,” I tell him, still not able to wipe the smile off my face.

  God, I love this man.

  “What has you so happy? Do I have to be jealous of Brooke?” he asks, and I start laughing, shaking my head in amusement.

  “No. Brooke’s not into me that way,” I tease.

  “Baby,” he growls. “Everyone is into you.”

  “Shut up.” I giggle, laughing when Brooke gives me ‘what the hell’ eyes. I just shrug at her.

  “Okay, I’ll stop. I’m on my way. We can go straight to the Lincoln Inn for dinner if you’d like, or would you rather go home and change?”

  “No, I’m good. We can go straight there. We need to celebrate,” I tell him, grinning when Brooke smiles wide at me, giving me a thumbs up.

  “What are we celebrating?” he asks curiously.

  “You’ll have to wait until you get here.”

  “You little minx. I’ll see you in a bit, love.”

  We say our goodbyes, and I turn to Brooke with a wide smile on my face.

  “Do you think he’ll be okay with all of this? I mean, I love him and he loves me, but what if he only said that because he thought I was only here temporarily?” I ramble, and now that the negative thought is there, I bite my lip worriedly.

  “Are you kidding me? Even if you wanted to leave, that man would tie you to his bed. He’s so in love with you. He doesn’t want to let you go,” she tells me, and I grin, sagging with relief.

  “I know we rushed into everything, but it feels right. I do love him. I love him so much that any time I let myself truly feel it, I’m overcome with so much emotion that my heart can’t take it. I feel like I’m going to burst from all the love I have stored inside me. It’s like I’ve waited a lifetime to have him in my life like this,” I admit, blushing when I realise how much detail I’ve gone into.

  She gives me a goofy smile, her eyes all soft. “God, it’s so sickening how much you two love each other. It’s rare to find that love. Hold on tight to it.”

  “I plan to.” I smile, feeling giddy.

  “Let’s put this all away. I’ve emailed those links to you, and on Monday we can go over contractors, if you want?”

  “Yeah, that’s perfect. My grandpa is coming later, and he’s going to organise the paperwork for us so I can sign the funds over and all that jazz. You can have a lawyer look over it, but it basically says that you agree to hand over your books in return for blah, blah, blah,” I giggle.

  “I trust you.”

  “Wait, shouldn’t we leave this out for Dean to see?” I ask, biting my bottom lip.

  “Nah, just this one,” she says, handing me the photos and description of the store next door, and I smile brightly. “He’s going to have two surprises tonight.”

  “I think he’s going to like my other one a lot better.” I wink, and we both laugh.

  We’re just finishing off our mugs of coffee when Dean walks in, looking handsome as ever.

  “Hello, ladies,” he drawls, then gets a look at my face and frowns. “Why the hell have you been crying?” he asks, rushing over to me.

  How the hell can he tell I’ve been crying?

  “I’m fine.” I smile, kissing his lips to shut him up.

  “So why have you been crying?” he asks, his face scrunched up adorably.

  “Well, you know when we were up in the mountain, and you asked me what I wanted to do with my life now that I was free?”

  “Yeah,” he says, still looking confused.

  “Well, apart from the obvious, which is growing old with you―”

  He stops me from continuing when he pulls me in for a kiss, a wide grin on his face.

  “That’s a given,” he murmurs against my lips before pulling away. “So, what’s next for you, love?”

  “Well, I’m buying this,” I tell him, stepping out of his embrace and grabbing the documents off the table.

  “What’s this?” he asks, reading it over. “Isn’t this next door?” He looks at Brooke, who smiles and nods.

  “Yep.” I grin, bouncing on the balls of my feet. “And I’m going to be the proud new owner. Long story short, Brooke is going to give me all her pretties inside here, minus the furniture. She’s going to concentrate on the children side of things. Although, we are planning on going with the same theme,” I ramble, taking a deep breath. “She’s also going to help me with the books and starting up, and all the other boring stuff. Oh, and she’s going to let me edit her new book,” I add.

  “You wrote a book?” he asks her, looking surprised.

  “Yeah, but keep listening,” she whispers, amused.

  “Go on,” he smiles, shaking his head.

  “So basically I’ll be selling books now, with a mini snack bar that sells coffee because, well book people love coffee. They’ll also have a selection of up-to-date computers to write on, or do homework or what have you. But the best part is that I’ll be turning the upstairs into an office. I’m going to start my own editing company and work with indie authors.”

  “Holy fucking shit!” he yells, grinning, and I take a step back. My ey
es are wide with surprise, but I’m still smiling as he rushes over to me, lifting me up in his arms. He spins me around, whooping loudly, and I laugh, like really laugh. I’ve not felt this happy since before my parents died, and I can’t help but rejoice.

  “Put me down.” I giggle, feeling dizzy.

  He stops spinning me around and slides me down his body, keeping me pinned against him.

  “Holy fucking shit, love. I’m so fucking proud of you, Lola. So fucking proud.” He grins, his eyes shining with love. “This is… fuck! You’re remarkable. God, I love you.”

  He leans down, capturing my lips, and I fall into the kiss. My arms go around his neck and when he pulls me against him, his hands at the bottom of my back, I moan into his mouth.

  A throat clearing has us pulling away, and a blush reaches my cheeks. I’d completely forgotten Brooke was there.

  “Get a room,” she teases, and I start laughing again, sticking my tongue out at her.

  “We’re in one.” I wink, the same time as Dean speaks.

  “Oh, we will, later. First, though, we’re going out to dinner to celebrate my girl becoming an editor and starting her own business.” He grins proudly, and his eyes shine in awe as he stares down at me, so much love in that one gaze.

  “Go have fun. I’ll see you both later.” She giggles.

  “Do you need a lift to the party later?” I ask.

  “No, I’ll be driving tonight. I’m not going to stay long. I can’t stand most of the people who attend them,” she says, brutally honest.

  I laugh. “You and Lily will get along fine. She can’t stand them either.”

  “Aww, then we’re already best friends in my book.”

  “I still can’t believe you’ve only met a handful of times,” I say, shaking my head. From what Dean and Brooke have said, they’ve been friends for years, ever since she took over from the previous owners, so it’s surprising Lily hasn’t made this place her regular stop-off. Lily, like my mom, loves books and spent most of our childhood taking us to libraries.

  “Dean always carted her away, getting embarrassed,” she teases him, winking at me.

  “Shush,” he warns her, and I giggle, knowing there’s a story there.

  “Go on before I tell her about the time your mom said she walked in on you losing your virginity.”

  My eyes widen before I burst out laughing. I turn to Dean who is staring at the ceiling, groaning.

  “You just did,” he growls, making me giggle harder.

  “Oh my God, fill me in later,” I call behind me as Dean starts pulling me towards the door.

  “If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll keep it zipped!” he shouts, sounding amused.

  “See you later,” I yell, and she waves bye, laughing.

  “Come on, baby. Let’s go celebrate my brilliant-minded girlfriend,” he says against my lips as we step outside.

  “Girlfriend,” I whisper, liking how it sounds rolling off my lips.

  “Not forever.” He winks, stunning me. Does he mean he’s going to break up with me soon? Or does he mean I’ll be… more? God, I can’t even say it. My stomach is doing somersaults, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

  The whole way to the restaurant I’m grinning, floating with happiness.

  Chapter 21

  Standing in the bathroom, I look in the door full-length mirror and take in my appearance. The long strapless velvet gown falls down to the floor, clinging to my body in all the right places and highlighting every curve.

  However, my favourite part of is what I have hidden underneath―a corset in a lighter shade of violet. It fits perfectly, enhancing my breasts and making them look rounder, fuller. I also have matching panties on with violet garters, going all out.

  I twirl around in a circle, trying to keep my eyes on my reflection. I feel sexy, and I know Dean is going to lose his mind when he sees me. I plan to surprise him when we get back from the charity event with my sexy little number, wanting to render him speechless.

  Brooke persuaded me to buy the dress even though I was unsure about the amount of cleavage I’d have on display. But it will be worth it to feel this good, all night long. I feel like an independent, strong, professional woman.

  My hair is twisted into an up-do with a few loose strands falling around my face. But as sexy as I feel, there’s a reason I’m hiding out in the bathroom. I’m worried about Dean’s reaction. I know he’s going to love it―he’s a man after all―but a deeper part of me fears he’ll make me change.

  Reminding myself that he’s not Rick, I leave the confinements of the bathroom and head out in search of Dean.

  I find him leaning behind the sofa flicking through channels. Holy shit, my man looks even hotter in a suit. He’s wearing black, trousers that match his black jacket, along with a white crisp shirt with a thin black tie.

  Dean is hot in anything he wears, but seeing him looking like a model out of a magazine has my mouth hanging open. I’m pretty sure I’ve drooled a little.

  Clearing my throat to gain his attention, he turns around slowly before snapping his head fully around when he sees me, his eyes widening. His slow appraisal has me shifting nervously, twiddling my thumbs.

  A few minutes pass with him just staring and not saying a word. I want to tell him to say something, anything, but when I open my mouth, no words come out.

  He stalks over to me, and for the first time since he took in my appearance, I look up into his eyes. I gasp when I see the desire burning in them.

  I don’t have time to think, move or even comprehend what is about to happen because Dean is on me within seconds. His hands reach around my waist, pushing me backwards until my back is slamming against the wall. Another gasp escapes my lips and my body tingles with awareness and lust.

  Lifting my gown, he gently raises it slowly up my legs, the feel of the delicate silk sliding up my legs making me shiver. The sensation is oddly erotic. He picks me up, my legs going around his waist immediately, and I moan from the contact.

  “You look so fucking beautiful, Lola. Every guy in that room is going to want what’s mine,” he says gently, his eyes transfixed on my chest.

  My body is on fire as he starts raining kisses down my neck and over my swollen breasts that are begging for his attention.

  No one has ever treated me this way, like they can’t get enough of me; it’s exotic and such a turn-on.

  I gasp when he moves my knickers to the side with his one hand, his other keeping me steady against the wall.

  “Oh God! More,” I beg as he runs his fingers through my wet heat.

  “My pleasure.” He grins, before inserting two fingers inside me. I moan as my back arches from the sheer pleasure. His skilled fingers assault my sex, pumping in and out while he swipes his thumb over my clit. My stomach tightens and my hips strain, wanting to ride his fingers until I’m coming apart all over them.

  “Yes,” I breathe into his neck. My God, he feels so good.

  My whole body is burning, more so when he increases his pace. I wither beneath him, bucking my hips as I meet each thrust with my own, pressing down on his fingers. I’m shaking with pleasure, my whole body heating up.

  I’m so close!

  “I want you to come, love. I want you to come all over my fingers,” he growls.

  The minute he uses that dirty mouth of his, I’m screaming his name. I begin to shake from the aftershocks of my orgasm, so lost in the sensation that I don’t hear him undo the zipper on his trousers. Before I know it, he’s inside me, slamming his hard shaft into my sex and pushing me against the wall. I lock my ankles behind his back for support as he drives into me over and over again, hitting the spot that drives me wild.

  “God, you’re so sexy. Never….” Thrust! “Been….” Thrust! “This….” Thrust! “Good,” he rasps.

  I shatter into a thousand pieces. The room spins, blurring around us as I cling to Dean’s shoulders, waiting for my orgasm to subside.

  We’re both breath
ing heavily, trying to catch our breaths when I feel his arousal dripping down my legs.

  “I love you,” he says, distracting me, making me forget all about the mess between my thighs.

  “I love you too,” I tell him before kissing him. He slowly places me back down on my feet, and my legs shake. He holds me up with one hand while the other smooths out my dress. Once I’m presentable, he tucks himself in and zips up his trousers.

  “I take it you like my dress?” I ask sweetly, fighting a grin.

  “Yes, I do. You look perfect, baby. You’re stunning and so beautiful it makes me want to take you again. Right here.” He grins, taking a step forward.

  “Oh no, you don’t! We need to be at the marquee before the guests arrive. Let me go freshen up so we can get going,” I tell him, fighting myself not to say ‘fuck the event, let’s just go back to bed and make love all night.’

  “You spoiled my night,” he pouts, making me giggle.

  *** *** ***

  “Oh my God, this place looks amazing,” I gush to Lily when we walk up to her. The marquee, which is attached to the bar toilets, and kitchen and so on, is lit up with fairy lights, elegant and magical.

  Round tables are scattered everywhere with beautiful rose decorations. Silver and blue balloon arches and towers surround the room, giving it more of an edge. There’s even a champagne fountain in the middle of the room, providing a sophisticated look. I can’t believe they’ve transformed the place to look like this. This morning it was bare, plain, and I was worried they’d never make it charity-event worthy. I was wrong.

  “It’s all Pagan.” Lily smiles, taking in Dean and me holding hands, a big grin on her face. “You look beautiful,” she tells me, and I blush.

  We’re pretty late thanks to Dean. He couldn’t keep his hands off me, and I ended up having to straighten my hair and make-up out.

  “Thank you, so do you.” In her black sequinned dress, she looks ten years younger.

  “Oh, this old thing.” She chuckles, waving to her dress.

  “I can’t believe there are so many people here already,” I blurt out, then wince when I realise why. “Sorry we’re late. It was Dean’s fault.”