If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “I’ve missed you too, love.” He grins, lifting me up like I weigh no more than a feather. He then carries me down the hall to the main bedroom, which I suppose is our bedroom now.

  Gently and gracefully he lowers me onto the bed, and because I’m not ready to let him go, I tighten the hold I have around his neck.

  He chuckles, and I use the distraction to my advantage, pulling him down. He lands on top of me, easily manoeuvring himself, so he’s not squashing me before settling between my legs.

  The moment he presses down on me, his erection hits me in the spot that has me gasping. That yearning I’ve been feeling for him all day heightens.

  I push my hips up, grinding my sex over his hardness.

  Dean groans so I do it again, this time harder, causing us both to moan.

  “I want you,” I whisper seductively. I clutch the ends of his shirt in my fists, pulling it over his head.

  His eyes darken, and he moves, grabbing my thin tank top, lifting it over my head before throwing it across the room. My bare breasts fall free, heavy and begging for attention.

  He captures my lips in a scorching kiss, his hands going to my hips and pulling my pyjama shorts down.

  I don’t know how it happened, it’s a blur, but we’re both naked in no time. Dean leans over me, his eyes burning with hunger as he rakes his eyes over my naked body, and I can feel the heat in his gaze.

  I’m about to come undone with just one look from him. My whole body is building up with a fiery need.

  “God, you’re fucking stunning,” he says. He kisses me passionately, leaving me completely breathless.

  He takes a condom out from the bedside drawer, having put them there this morning after he left to get some more clean clothes.

  All day I’ve been fantasising about being with him, and the more I thought about him, the needier I got. I also thought about going on the pill. I don’t want anything between us when we make love. I want to feel all of him.

  He slowly guides the tip of his erection into my sex, nudging my entrance teasingly. I can’t stop the growing pleasure building inside me, driving me wild.

  Feeling brave, I push down, his hardness stretching me, making me feel full and complete.

  An animalistic growl erupts from his chest, smothering my own moan of pleasure. I’m so wet for him, so ready. He slowly pulls out before thrusting back in at a torturous pace, but nonetheless pleasurable. But I need more; I need him to lose control, to slam himself into me, and make me feel.

  “Dean,” I moan. “Faster… harder… I want you to own me. Make me yours,” I beg, rocking my hips to try and speed up our movements.

  His eyes meet mine for a split second, his eyes darkening as he devours me. He leans up on his knees, pushing my thighs against my chest as he thrusts inside me with hard, punishing stokes.

  “Fuck!” I scream, throwing my head back.

  Dean gasps, his eyes closed, clearly lost in the sensation.

  “God, you’re so fucking hot inside,” he rumbles, looking between my legs where he’s filling me. He lets my legs drop, his hands running up my waist to my breasts, squeezing and tugging at my nipples before leaning down and taking one into his mouth. His free hand moves down between us, his fingers rubbing my clit in slow circles, sending sweet waves of pleasure through my body.

  “I need to come,” I cry, rolling my hips to meet his thrusts.

  I’m so close, so fucking close that I can barely keep it together.

  “Oh, Lola,” he growls, and I can feel his dick pulse inside me, letting me know he’s close. “Come for me, baby. That’s it, come all over my cock,”

  With his dirty words, his fingers on my clit and his dick thrusting inside me, I’m thrown over the edge, my body soaring with pleasure. I scream his name over and over, my sex clenching around him as my orgasm tears through me.

  Just when I think it’s going to stop, the pleasure becoming too intense to handle, he prolongs my orgasm by slamming inside me at a new angle, roaring out his own release. Everything blurs, my vision completely vanishing, and for a second I wonder if I’m actually going to black out.

  “I love you,” I whisper, trying to gain control of my heavy breathing. My sex is trembling, still sensitive from my release as he pulls out of me, quickly disposing of the condom.

  “Fuck.” He sighs as he rolls onto his back panting, sweat covering his muscled chest. “You’re amazing. That was….” He shakes his head, speechless.

  “Breathtaking? Mind-blowing? Magnificent? Remarkable?” I chime in, finishing his sentence with a giggle.

  He laughs, pulling me across his chest. “You really are the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever met. I feel like I’m a teenager all over again, except my fantasies are actually coming true this time around. I’m so fucking lucky to have you, and I’ll thank my lucky stars every day for you coming back to me. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you’re happy. I love you. I love you so fucking much,” he rasps.

  I’m so moved by his honesty that tears fill my eyes.

  “Oh Dean, I love you too, but can’t you see? It’s me who’s the lucky one. You have no idea what you do to me. Our relationship was destined to be, as cliché as it sounds. You fit me. You complete me.”

  “Oh, Lola,” he whispers, cupping my jaw and turning my head to face him.

  “It’s true, Dean.” I blush. “You know? At first, I felt like I was jumping from one relationship to another, but then we had that conversation about my relationship with Rick being over a long time ago, and it made me realise that it didn’t matter when it ended or why. What matters is the here and now. If people want to keep wasting precious moments in their lives, waiting for what other people deem a suitable period of time to move on, then that’s their prerogative. All they’ll be doing is missing valuable time with who and what truly matters. And you truly matter, Dean. I love you and I always will,” I tell him, my heart bursting with love for this man.

  “Fuck! What you do to me,” he chokes out, clearing his throat. “You mean the fucking world to me, and I’m never letting you go. I’m not going to become one of those people who wastes precious moments because I’m going to be spending all of them with you.”

  A few tears fall from my eyes as I snuggle up to him tighter, not caring that I’m still naked. An obnoxious yawn slips past my lips, making Dean chuckle.

  “Sleep,” he orders, sounding close to sleep himself.

  “Night,” I mumble, already closing my eyes, feeling like I’ve been given the world in just one day.

  Chapter 20

  My hands sweat from nerves as Dean and I make our way to Brooke’s Books. We’ve left everyone else back at Cabin Lake setting everything up for the charity event tonight.

  For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about my future and what I want to do with it. I think listening to Pagan go on about hers and Sid’s accomplishments has helped my decision about doing something with my degree.

  And because I’ve been spending more and more time with Brooke, helping her out at the store, I’ve thought about owning my own store. Not just any store, but one that coexists with Brooke’s. I’ve been planning the perfect presentation for a few weeks, but the fear of her turning me down―or worse, falling out with me―has scared me from saying anything. But today, that’s going to change.

  I want us to work together without her thinking I’m treading on anyone’s toes. I can’t help but remember all the times she’s mentioned her dream of expanding but never having the funds to do it. I can make that come true for her if she chooses to agree. Although, I’ll help her even if she says no.

  No one knows about my proposition, not even Dean. He didn’t even question me when I said I was coming to visit Brooke, but I know he knows something is going on with me. I’d have told him everything, but I want to talk to Brooke first. I don’t want Dean somehow persuading her to say yes. It’s something I want to accomplish on my own. What I need to do on my own.

 
Pulling over not far from Brooke’s Books, Dean shuts off the car. Turning, he pulls me in for a kiss, leaving me completely breathless. All the nerves I had when I woke up disappear, and I sigh into his mouth.

  “I’ll pick you up whenever you’re ready. Just give me a call, and I’ll come get you, okay?” he says, leaning in for another kiss. “I wish you’d tell me what’s making you so nervous.”

  I grin, kissing his frown away. “I will later. I promise. I just need to go over some stuff with Brooke before I talk to you about it. Is that okay?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t think I’m purposely keeping things from him.

  “Baby, as long as you’re okay and there’s nothing wrong, you don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

  “I’m nervous because…,” I start, then shake my head and grin when I realise what he just did. “I’m not nervous in a bad way. What I need to talk to her about is a good thing,” I tell him, and that piques his interest, his eyebrows rising.

  “Okay.” He chuckles. “I need to help Pagan out with a few things and then help Dad mend a broken fence. You do what you need to do. I’m only a phone call away.”

  “Have fun.” I grin, leaning in and kissing him. “I love you.” I smile and turn to open the door, but his arm shoots out, stopping me. I gasp, turning around to see what’s wrong, but his eyes are filled with hunger. A hunger I know all too well.

  “Always kiss me like this,” he whispers from a breath away before pulling me in for a deep kiss. I lean in to him, pouring as much passion as I can into it.

  His lips are soft, yet firm, and when his tongue massages against mine, I squirm in my seat, my thighs clenching together. The ache that’s growing between my legs becomes unbearable, and I’m ready to cancel today just so I can go back to bed with him.

  Dean reluctantly pulls back, dropping his forehead to mine as he stares into my eyes.

  “Are you sure you have to see Brooke today?” he rasps.

  I want to say no, but I know we both have busy days. “Yes, I do. Just like you have to help your dad and sister. Now go before I change my mind.” I grin, opening the door.

  “God, I fucking love you, woman. Don’t forget to call me,” he calls out, and I lean back into the car, kissing him once more before reaching into the back seat and grabbing my things.

  “Bye, Dean. Have fun. Oh, and don’t work too hard. I have a surprise for you later.” I wink. “Love you.” I slam the door shut behind me, leaving his mouth hanging wide open.

  He beeps the horn, and I turn, and wave goodbye, grinning before walking into Brooke’s. She’s expecting me since I called her last night, telling her I needed to talk to her. We picked her lunch break for me to pop in; however, when I walk in, it’s quiet.

  “Hello,” I call out as I step into the store, locking the door behind me like Brooke instructed me to do so we wouldn’t be interrupted.

  Loud footfalls come from the back hallway. “Lo? Hi,” she says, coming towards me with a pinched expression. “Please spit it out. My brain has been doing somersaults all morning thinking about what you could possibly need to discuss with me.”

  I laugh at her expression and erratic behaviour. She’s literally bouncing on her feet. It’s nice knowing how much she cares though, and how close we’ve become for her to even worry about me. I love it. I love having a girlfriend, one I can trust and count on, and won’t bitch about me behind my back.

  “Calm down. I have something I want to run across you. A proposal as such, and I’m nervous as hell, so can you sit down? And will you please stop bouncing? It’s making me worse. Oh, and don’t speak until I finish.” I chuckle, but it’s forced because my nerves are back with friends.

  “Okay, let me grab our coffees,” she says, moving slower as she eyes me curiously. I’d giggle if I weren’t so nervous. She looks afraid to move too quickly just in case I pass out or attack her.

  “Okay, spill,” she says, handing me a coffee.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do with my future and where I see myself in a few years. I want to do something I can be proud of, that I can call mine, and say ‘I did that.’” I hand over the papers that the estate agency emailed over to me. It has details and pictures of the shop.

  “I want to buy the store next door. I want to fill it with books, up-to-date computers and offer snack foods, along with coffee. Here,” I say, showing her the picture of a spiral staircase before moving it over to the page with the upstairs room. “This is the upstairs. I’m going to convert it into an office to start my own editing business for indie authors―”

  “I know I said I wouldn’t interrupt, but I have to say this. All of this sounds great, it really does, and I’m excited for you, but I’m wondering what this has to do with me,” Brooke says politely, not wanting to come across as rude.

  I shake my head, fighting a smile since I knew she wouldn’t be able to wait until I finished. “If you’d let me finish….”

  “Sorry,” she mumbles, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “Okay, so this is my proposition. I will give you fifty-thousand plus for you to make the renovations you want to the store. The changes you said you dreamed you could have made,” I begin, and she goes ghostly pale.

  “N-no…,” she stutters, shaking her head.

  “Wait! In exchange, I want all of your book stock, and to run the donation bank. I also want you to do my books. I went to business school, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as I did my literate classes. And to be able to run a successful business I need someone who knows what they’re doing,” I explain, my words rushed.

  “Lola, sweetie, you can do that without buying my books. You could get your own and get a business partner. I can’t take that kind of money from you,” she says, and my heart sinks.

  “I need someone I can trust, someone I can rely on. I honestly need you. It might seem that you’re getting a bigger deal out of this, but you’re really not. I swear to you, you’ll be doing me a huge favour. And if I have to use emotional blackmail, I will.”

  “You wouldn’t,” she warns, narrowing her eyes when I start to pout.

  “Oh, I would.” I giggle. “But seriously, I really want this, but I won’t do it without your help. I’ve seen the way your eyes sparkle when you speak about what you wanted to do to the store, and it inspired me. I wanted to help you achieve that. You deserve it. This shop is amazing, and what you do raising money, it’s just… It’s honourable.

  “You’ve become my best friend in such a short amount of time, and I want you to have this, but I also want to share my dream with you too. Please say you’ll help me, because I need help going over all this,” I say, gesturing to all the paperwork involved. “Please. I can’t do this without you,” I beg.

  Brooke’s eyes fill with tears, and one escapes, falling down her cheek and onto the table. A part of me hopes I haven’t offended her. I know how hard she’s worked on her own to get this far. With her upbringing she had to work harder, only having the previous owners of the store to help her. They saw her potential, and when she told them her dreams of owning her own shop one day, one where she’d have a fun place for kids to learn to read, they wanted to help her. She enjoys it and my God, I’ve seen her face on the days she does story time with the local kids. Her whole face lights up with love and excitement.

  Slipping off my chair, I take the one next to her before pulling her in for a hug.

  “If you don’t want to, please just say. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I whisper.

  “Lola, you don’t know how much this means to me. No one has ever cared for me enough to even buy me a birthday present,” she cries, wiping her eyes.

  “Well, let me know when it is and I’ll go wild.” I wink, teasing her. Wiping some of her tears away, my own begin to water. How can anyone not care for this incredibly amazing woman? Each word she says about her past pierces my heart.

  She laughs, grabbing a tissue from her pocket. “Are you sure though? It’s a
lot of money, Lola, and I honestly feel wrong taking it when I haven’t earned it.” Her voice is a whisper, and hope sparks inside my chest.

  “I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, Brooke. It’s all I’ve thought about, and every time I do, I end up thinking of a new idea. It’s always something new to add, but the one thing that hasn’t changed is having you as a part of it. My mom and dad left me a hell of a lot of money, and until now, I’ve never touched it. I wanted to use it for something they’d be proud of, something I know they’d want for me, and Brooke, your business is worth investing in. But I am being selfish too. I want this for me as well, and although you’re right that I could hire anyone to do what I need, I don’t want to. I want you. So will you, please?”

  She beams, more tears falling. “I’d love to work with you. I don’t know anyone I’d rather work alongside than you.”

  “Yes! Yes!” I squeal, jumping out of the chair, tears filling my own eyes. “Oh my God! Thank you,” I shout, pulling her out of her chair.

  “It’s me who should be thanking you.” She grins. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “Believe it,” I tell her, hugging her again.

  “You truly are amazing, Lola,” she gushes, hugging me tighter.

  “I’m going to do this. We’re going to do this. God, Brooke, you don’t even realise how happy you’ve made me,” I cry. “I’m finally doing something for myself, something I decided to do, and it feels so good. Is this how you feel every time you walk in here?” I ask, feeling a knot form in my throat.

  “Oh, Lola, you should be proud of yourself no matter what you have in life. You’ve been through so much and come out much, much stronger. You have no idea how truly amazing you are,” she whispers. “And to answer your question, yes, I do feel like that every time I walk in here. This store is everything to me. It’s my baby, and you’ll never understand what the gift you just gave me means to me. I just wish there was a way to repay you.”

  “Silly woman,” I scold playfully. “You repaid me the second you said yes. But… there is something,” I say innocently.