If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “You okay?” Dean whispers, looking down at me.

  “Yeah. I just have a bad feeling about this. He sounded off on the phone last night, like he was distracted,” I tell him, having forgotten to mention it last night.

  “I’m not going anywhere, love. I’ll be here,” he promises, taking my hand. I squeeze his gently and together we walk in.

  *** *** ***

  We gather at the dining room table and, like the last time I was here, it feels formal and uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that Mark and Grandpa hovered in the doorway whispering to one another before they sat down. It’s clear that Mark has already been filled in on whatever Grandpa needs to tell me. It must be bad if he’s told someone else before me.

  Lily walks in holding a tray of coffee and cups of teas, and I give her a grateful smile as I take my tea, needing it to calm me down.

  My eyes drift to my grandpa again, surprised at how pale and shaken he looks. He’s barely been able to keep eye contact with me, and I hate it. I don’t know what’s going on or what’s running through his head and it’s driving me nuts.

  “Who’s going to feed Hunter and Dolly?” I ask Dean, needing to say something, anything to keep myself from being sucked into the tension of the room. “Maybe we should go feed them?”

  “Matt’s going to clean them out today. Don’t worry about the horses. He works Sundays to earn money.” He smiles, and I nod, remembering him mentioning it before.

  “That’s good. I mean, they won’t starve, and Matt gets money. To spend,” I babble nervously.

  Dean chuckles, placing his hand on my thigh. “Calm down, love. It’s going to be okay,” he tells me, looking me straight in the eye. I just nod, hoping he’s right.

  “Lola, did you want to talk somewhere private, or can I talk in front of everyone?” Grandpa asks, and I turn from Dean to stare at him.

  “No, they can stay,” I tell him, gulping.

  I pick at my thumbs under the table, but Dean feels the movement, and he takes my hand in his.

  “You know when we last spoke I said Patrick was on his last warning?” Grandpa asks, and I nod, not seeing where this is going. I thought something bad had happened but if this is him telling me he’s fired Rick, then isn’t that a good thing?

  “Well, the day you called me, I went down to his office to see if he had closed a case he’d been assigned and I found him drinking hard liquor. That was the last straw. There are no rules really for drinking―we all have a glass of scotch now and again―but he was so drunk he could barely stay focused. I gave him his last warning and told him he wouldn’t get another chance. One more incident and he was gone,” he says, pulling his hair roughly before looking at me. Pain and guilt paint his face and my stomach twists.

  “That’s a good thing right? You’re one step closer to firing him,” I say, looking between Dean and Grandpa, needing someone to explain.

  “He took a few days off to get his shit together. While he was off, I took over the Salvatore accounts and made sure his assistant knew. When he arrived back, he stormed into the office demanding why I’d taken his biggest client. It ended up in a heated discussion, and Lola, God, I’m so sorry,” he says, sounding broken. My eyes fill with tears, but I still don’t understand what’s going on.

  “It’s okay, Grandpa. Whatever it is, it’s fine,” I assure him, needing him to be the strong man I know.

  “I pride myself in my work, Lola. I’m a lawyer. But he got me so worked up. I was already struggling not to throw him out of my office window, so when he kept demanding why, I explained I didn’t want him fucking up a family friend’s account. I explained the Salvatores had been life-long friends and that I didn’t want him coming here and embarrassing me and my firm.”

  I shake my head, wondering where he’s going with this. So far, everything seems fine. Rick didn’t attack him, and he doesn’t know where I am, so I’m unsure why he seems so torn up over this.

  “Grandpa, I don’t understand. You got him off the case and one incident away from been fired.”

  “Lola,” Dean says gently. When I turn to face him, he looks sad, although his jaw is clenched.

  “What am I not clueing in on?” I demand, looking around the table. The only other person who seems oblivious is Lily.

  “I think he knows you’re here,” Grandpa whispers and I gasp, sliding my chair back and jumping up. My hands are shaking, as I glance around the room, like I’m waiting for him to pop out from somewhere.

  “How?” I ask hoarsely, moving back when Dean tries to comfort me.

  “Please sit down,” Grandpa asks gently, looking pained.

  “Tell me!” I yell, throwing my hands up. “Please.”

  “When I was explaining who the Salvatores were, he got a calculating look in his eyes. He asked if I’d spoken to you, and my suspicions were confirmed,” he explains.

  I relax, sitting back in the chair as he takes a breather. “So it’s only a guess? He might not even know I’m here?”

  “No. He definitely knows you’re here. I denied talking to you, but then he said Sally said you called. He kicked off, causing a mess of the office, and I had to get him removed from the building. After I returned from dealing with security and the police, Sally had already taken the Salvatore case file. I’ve not seen her since, but I’m assuming she knows she’s fired,” he says, running a hand across his face. “Last night when you called, I was in the middle of reading a report on Rick. I’ve had someone keeping close tabs on him since you first called me, but somehow, last night, he evaded them in a DIY store. We haven’t been able to find his whereabouts since.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask dumbly.

  “It means that whatever he has planned, you’re involved. I’m so fucking sorry, doll. You were safer pushing me away, not calling me. All I’ve done is put you in danger,” he says, his eyes watering.

  “Grandpa,” I whisper, shaking my head. “None of this is your fault. What about Sally? If she’s helping him, maybe she can tell you where he is,” I offer, picking at straws.

  Lily’s phone beeps and she sends us an apologetic look before checking it.

  “We tried that. She wasn’t at her flat. We tried her mom’s place, and she wasn’t there either. We have no idea where she is,” he says and my stomach sinks, instantly thinking of the worst.

  “Maybe they’ve run away together?” Dean adds.

  That’s actually a good point.

  “Yeah, Sally did hint a few times they were together,” I say, hope rising in my chest.

  “Maybe, but I don’t want to risk your safety,” Grandpa says, taking a sip of his tea.

  “I’m going to put some food on. Sid and Pagan are on their way,” Lily announces as she stands to leave.

  “Make extras. Me and Lola didn’t eat breakfast,” Dean announces to the whole table. I blush at the look my grandpa gives me.

  “I’ll get to you two later,” he says, giving Dean a look that would have most men cowering in their boots. “But first I want to talk about what your next move is. After what happened last night, I don’t think going to the police with what we have is wise. From what I read up on about this Jordan Wallace, he has money and is used to getting away with shit. If we go to the police now, as much as what you’re reporting is true, it could possibly get him out of charges or a lower sentence,” he says.

  “But he pleaded guilty,” I tell him, confused.

  “It doesn’t matter. He could say he was coerced,” he says sadly.

  “That’s bullshit,” Dean growls.

  “You know how the law works, and how defence lawyers can twist everything. If she suddenly goes in, reporting two assaults, then they’ll think it’s a cry for attention or whatever bullshit they can come up with. We have the hospital records and managed to get CTV footage of you at the hospital,” Grandpa says, and I gasp.

  “What?”

  “Yeah.” He winces. “I’m sorry, doll. I did tell you I was going to dig into everythin

g, make sure we had enough evidence.”

  “So what do we do?” I ask, feeling shaken.

  “I know you’re scared, but I think we need to wait and see what Rick does. It’s obvious he’s obsessed with you and that he isn’t letting you go. I believe we can find a cop who will take a statement without pressing charges against Rick just yet. After that, we can file for a restraining order. You’ll also need to sign a form to release your medical records. But until Rick makes another move, I don’t think we have much to go on,” he says. “I feel really awful, doll, and I’m sorry I’ve caused all of this. He’d have no idea you were here if it weren’t for me.”

  “Grandpa.” I sigh, getting up and moving around the table to him. “This isn’t your fault. In a way, I think this is a good thing. I’m fed of up of being scared, of looking over my shoulder all the time. I knew he was going to find me eventually, but at least I’m somewhat stronger now,” I tell him, hoping that’s the truth as I wrap my arms around his neck.

  Anyone can say they can do something, but the minute they’re faced with the reality, everything changes.

  I’m still unsure whether I’m okay with talking to the police about Rick, but if it means getting him out my life, then I’ll be sure. I need to do this, not just for everyone around me but for myself. I need to.

  “Okay, I’ll do it,” I whisper, kissing his cheek.

  He leans into me, kissing my arms wrapped around him. “Good girl.” I roll my eyes, feeling like a two-year-old. “Now, about you two…,” he starts, and I groan, moving back around to Dean just as the twins walk in.

  “Ah, are we in time for the ‘don’t mess with my granddaughter’ speech?” Pagan asks excitedly, rushing over to my grandpa and hugging him.

  “Yes, you are.” He chuckles before narrowing his eyes on Dean. “Are you going to marry her?” he demands.

  “Grandpa!” I yell, covering my face with embarrassment.

  “I need to know, Lola, shush. The men are going to talk now,” he says, and I narrow my eyes on him, making him gulp. “So?” he asks, looking back to Dean.

  “Yes, I am. And we’re going to have a family, buy a house, and live happily ever after,” Dean says, answering everything my grandpa was bound to ask.

  “Will you take care of her?” Grandpa demands, sitting back in his chair as Lily walks out with food. Mark chuckles before looking at his son, waiting for an answer.

  “I’d die for her. I’ll take care of her, worship her and never take her for granted,” Dean answers, not looking affected whatsoever.

  Sid makes a whipping noise, laughing.

  I roll my eyes.

  Pagan giggles.

  Grandpa shakes his head.

  And Mark snorts at Sid.

  “Good lad. Don’t wait long to put a ring on my girl’s finger. Her mother will be dancing in heaven knowing you two kids are together,” he says, and my eyes water.

  “We’re not kids,” I snap, trying not to sound affected.

  Grandpa rolls his eyes. “You’ll always be my baby girl.”

  “Mom. Food!” Sid shouts, and we burst out laughing.

  “I’m not a little girl,” I mumble, pouting, and Dean chuckles.

  “One last thing. Do you love her?” Grandpa asks, and my eyes widen, wishing he’d shut up.

  “With all my heart,” Dean answers immediately, turning towards me. My eyes get lost in his gaze, and I smile longingly at him.

  Leaning forward, a wide grin on his lips, he kisses me. It’s not a quick kiss; it’s deep, passionate and full of heat, and I’m close to reaching out and pulling him closer. I’m also pretty sure I moan.

  When he pulls away, I’m breathing heavily. In a daze, I turn in my seat, finding everyone’s eyes on us, grinning. I didn’t even notice Lily walk back in with plates of food and I blush furiously, annoyed that Dean makes me lose my mind.

  So I do the only rational thing a woman can do.

  I kick him in the shin.

  “Fuck! What was that for?” he asks, a small grin on his face.

  “You know damn well what for,” I snap. “You couldn’t have kissed me like that when, say, we weren’t surrounded by family?”

  Everyone bursts out laughing, and after a few seconds, I follow, shaking my head at everyone. The minute I do, Dean is on me, kissing me once again. I readily submit, getting lost in the kiss.

  Damn this man and his charm.

  Chapter 24

  The following day, I pick Grandpa up from Lily and Mark’s, since he stayed there instead of at Dean’s, and drive us over to Brooke’s Books.

  He wanted to meet my new friend―like I’m in nursery―and the person who inspired me to start up my own business.

  Plus, I get to show him the shop I’m purchasing. I managed to talk the estate agent into meeting me today so I could show grandpa around and they happily agreed, although I won’t be getting the keys for another few days since the contracts are still going through.

  We enter the store to find Brooke up a ladder, grabbing a book for an older lady who is waiting patiently.

  Hearing the door, Brooke turns, a smile lighting up her face. She holds her hand up, gesturing for me to wait.

  “You can go sit down on the sofa Miss Bellingham, and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea in a minute, okay?” she asks the old lady who nods, pleased. Turning, Brooke rushes over, a frown on her face. “Oh my God, Lola. I heard about Saturday night. I’m so sorry I haven’t called. I’ve been at the hospital and didn’t find out until this morning. I wish I was there,” she says apologetically, pulling me in for a hug.

  Brooke couldn’t make it Saturday night because her neighbour had an accident. In a way, I’m kind of glad she wasn’t there. It could have been her.

  “I’m fine. I promise,” I assure her as we pull apart. “The police called yesterday and said he pleaded guilty, admitting all charges, so he’ll be going to prison,” I inform her. “How is your neighbour?”

  “Thank God.” She sighs, looking relieved. “She’s had to have hip surgery. She fell down the stairs and because her son was out of town, she was on her own. I heard the fall and rushed round. Luckily, the ambulance got there quickly,” she explains.

  “Oh God.” I wince, feeling sorry for the old lady.

  “Who’s this?” she asks, looking at my grandpa, a bright smile on her face.

  I open my mouth to introduce them but, ever the gentlemen, Grandpa steps forward, holding his hand out.

  “I’m Dwayne, Lola’s grandpa. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so many good things about you,” he tells her, shaking her hand, and Brooke blushes at his compliment.

  She beams up at him, making me smile. I can already tell Grandpa likes her.

  With the amount of money I have, he’s always been wary of the people who come into my life, and he drilled it into my head since I was a teenager to be careful of who to trust. But you only have to meet Brooke once and you know you could trust her with your life. She’s a genuinely nice, caring person.

  “I’m Brooke, Lola’s friend,” she says, giving the unnecessary introduction. “It’s nice to finally meet you too, Dwayne. Lola speaks highly of you. Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?” she offers.

  “We can’t stay,” I tell her sadly. “I’m going to show Grandpa around the shop, and then we’re going out for dinner. Do you want to join us?” I ask her, hoping she says yes.

  “I would love to, but I’ve got so much stuff to sort through. With the shop being closed yesterday, I’m a little behind. Maybe we can catch up another time?” I nod. “You’re going to love the store,” she says to my grandpa, who smiles in return. “Her ideas are brilliant. You’ve got an amazing granddaughter. She’s going to be very successful,” Brooke states proudly, and I blush at her compliment.

  “She sure is.” Grandpa grins, eyeing Brooke with a new-found fondness.

  “Right, we better get going. The estate agent is waiting for us next door. Are you sure you can’t come?” I pout.

  She chuckles, shaking her head. “I wish I could. I really do, but I’m needed here.”

  I sigh dramatically. “Okay, I’ll speak to you later,” I huff out, pulling her in for a hug.

  “See you soon. And I’m really am glad you’re okay,” she whispers into my neck. She pulls back, giving me a smile before turning and approaching my grandpa. His eyes widen when she pulls him in for a hug, pecking him on the cheek before stepping back. “It was nice meeting you, Dwayne. Don’t be a stranger,” she tells him sincerely.

  “You too, Brooke,” he smiles, warmly. “C’mon then, doll. Show me this store you’ve been raving about.”

  I grin, excited as I pull him out of the door.

  *** *** ***

  “I’m so glad you liked it,” I gush, taking my seat in the restaurant.

  “I really am proud of you,” he says, sitting across from me.

  Looking over the menu I feel his eyes on me, and it’s not the first time I’ve caught him staring at me. I know he has something on his mind, but it’s like he’s reluctant to bring it up―or dare I say... shy.

  “Spill,” I say, not taking my eyes off the menu.

  He chuckles nervously, taking a sip of his water. “You’re just like your mother and grandma. They always knew when I had something to say,” he mutters.

  I laugh. “That’s because it’s written all over your face.”

  “Right, yeah, well,” he sputters, shaking his head. “I just wanted to talk to you about a few things whilst I had you to myself.”

  My head snaps up “Um, okay,” I murmur, worried.

  “Yeah, about Dean. Are you sure about your relationship? With everything that happened with Rick, do you think you’re ready?” he asks, reasonably.

  “Grandpa, Dean would never hurt me,” I tell him softly.

  His eyes widen. “No! I don’t mean in that way. I know the boy would never hurt you. He’s been smitten with you since before you were out of nappies.” I cringe. “I’m just worried this is all too much for you.”

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