If I Could I'd Wish It All Away (I Wish Book 1)

by Lisa Helen Gray

  “How the fuck didn’t we know he was this close?” I hiss, pulling at the ends of my hair. I’m ready to blow, my anger building to the point of no return.

  “I’ve no idea. But it’s not everything,” Darius says, gesturing me to follow him over to the desk on the far wall. On the desk are piles of photos of Lola and me.

  “He’s been following us for fucking weeks. These were taken three weeks ago,” I say, pointing to the picture of me, Lola and my parents going out for something to eat.

  “Fuck, he’s obsessed,” Cage curses, shifting some of the pictures with a pen. He moves the top lot to reveal a bunch of close-up photos of Lola. He took pictures of my woman, my Lola. There have to be hundreds of different pictures.

  “Have you called someone in to get these fingerprinted?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.

  “I asked the officer who met me here to grab some shit,” Darius confirms. “Maria, the owner, has CCTV footage. I’m going over there now. Do you want to tag along?”

  “Yeah, I’m coming,” I tell him, my voice hard.

  “Has anyone radioed anything in?” My eyes catch the bloodied blouse on the bed, and my heart squeezes painfully. If I keep thinking about her hurt, it’s going to break me.

  “No. Nothing. We have a search going for the vehicle. We’re hoping to pick it up soon.”

  I follow Darius into the main reception, nodding at the scared, young-looking girl sitting behind the counter.

  “Maria’s expecting you. She told me to tell you to go down the hall and take the second door on the left.”

  My legs feel like jelly because I have no idea what I’m about to see on the camera. I already know she’s hurt, but seeing it is going destroy me. The empty, powerless feeling is strong, and a sense of unworthiness, of being unable to protect her is worming its way around my heart.

  The door is open, and we walk in, surrounded by screens and computer equipment. Maria turns, hearing us approach, and gives us a grim smile.

  “I’ve found the time he turned up. You can watch this screen here, and it will play through. If you fast-forward half an hour, you’ll see when they leave,” she says, stepping back to let Darius take charge of the computer. He presses some buttons, and the screen Maria pointed to earlier shows a car pulling up.

  “Pause it a minute. Let me call the plate in,” Cage says and starts pressing buttons on his phone. I stand there, waiting impatiently as I turn back to the screen. Darius glances at me, seeing my unease, and presses play.

  My blood boils as Rick steps out of the car. I’d recognise his mug anywhere; after all, I did my homework on the sick fuck.

  He walks around to the passenger side of the car and lifts an unconscious Lola out. My heart sinks seeing her hair and face matted with blood.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I growl, and Maria looks at me sharply before taking another step back. “Fast-forward it.”

  Darius nods, rushing through the video until movement at their door has him hitting play. The door seems to open a little before slamming shut, and we all look at each other with wide eyes.

  “She made a getaway. My stupid girl,” I murmur, my eyes never once leaving the screen.

  Not long after, the door opens and Rick steps out. This time he’s holding a bag and my eyebrows rise. He throws it into the boot before making his way back inside. My heart pumps like crazy, and I lean in closer, not wanting to miss a single detail.

  I need to find her.

  Fury simmers its way through my veins as he walks back out with an unconscious Lola. This time she looks worse for wear, her body covered in blood in various places.

  Darius pauses on her, zooming in so we can see what’s going on better. “Fuck,” he growls.

  Lola is only in her bra, cuts and bruises marring her pale, silky skin. My fists clench and unclench as fiery anger burns inside me and takes root, growing, festering and taking over my entire body.

  Maria must sense what’s about to happen because she rushes out the room, a small squeak leaving her.

  I pick up the empty chair next to Darius and swing it, smashing it against the door.

  She’s hurt, and she needs me. I’ve never been so vulnerable than I am at this moment. I’ve never felt this level of anger or fatigued incapability before, and it’s burning through me.

  Next, I move the trolley with cups, kettle and other shit on. I launch it across the room, smashing a few computer screens on the left wall, and I hear Maria scream.

  Darius and Cage reach for me, pinning my arms behind my back as I struggle, screaming at the top of my lungs like a mad man.

  “I’m going to fucking kill him. I’ll fucking kill him!” I roar, wishing he were in front of me right now so I could tear his fucking throat out.

  She fucking needs me.

  She fucking needs me, and I’m in here, watching her hurt on a fucking computer screen, and I can’t do anything to help her.

  I try shoving off Cage, to get free. I need to get this anger out. I need to do something, anything to get my woman back.

  “You need to get it together, bro,” Darius hisses in my ear. I knock my head back, hitting him in the nose. He grunts, cursing, but doesn’t let go.

  “Don’t make me fucking arrest you, Dean. You’ve got a girl to find and a sick fuck to catch. Oh, and you’ll be paying for the fucking damages you’ve just cost the nice lady,” Cage demands.

  I sag against them and nod, letting them know I’ve got it together. They let me go, and I step forward, breathing hard.

  “Fuck, get it together,” I curse to myself, and I hear one of the lads grunt behind me. I ignore it since I deserve more than their shit.

  Darius starts moving shit to get to the computer he was on. He’s not clicking away for long before he’s mumbling something to Cage.

  “He’s heading west. Do you want to start heading that way, or do you want to wait around?” Cage asks.

  “We’ll go. I can’t just stand around,” I tell him, beginning to feel everything all at once.

  “I’ll wait here. There are a few bits of paper and receipts in the room that I want to check over. I’ll catch up to you and ring if I find out anything,” Darius says.

  “Okay. Be quick. It’s clear he’s not concerned about hurting her and the longer she’s in his care, the riskier it will be. He could….” Cage pauses, glancing at me briefly before looking back to Darius. He doesn’t want to voice the fact that Rick could kill Lola.

  Maria steps back into the room with a uniformed police officer. He hands Darius a few things, and I turn away, focusing on Maria.

  “I’m really sorry about the damages, and for scaring you,” I whisper.

  “It’s fine, dear. I really do hope you find your wife,” she tells me, and I don’t bother correcting her because Lola will be my wife. When this is all over and she’s in my arms, we’re getting married the first chance we get. I can’t live my life without her.

  “Thank you. Here’s my card. Call me or email the address at the bottom. I’ll send you a check…. In fact, forget it. I’ll be in touch in a couple days. I’ll have one of my men organise to have a new, top-of-the-line security system put in.”

  I squeeze her shoulder gently, showing her my gratitude for not pressing charges, and turn to Cage, giving him a chin lift.

  Darius gives me a nod as we leave and I check my phone, making sure no one else has tried to call me.

  A few messages from Mom, Dad, and a couple of men who work for my company, but nothing with information on Lola. I give Dad a quick text, letting him know what’s happened, leaving out a few details. He’ll end up coming down here, but with Rick knowing where they are and what they all look like I don’t want to risk their safety.

  Getting in the car, I run a frustrated hand through my hair and turn to Cage. “We need to find her.”

  He glances my way as he starts his car, pity filling his eyes. “We will, mate. We will.”

  *** *** ***

  We’ve been drivin
g west for twenty minutes when my phone breaks through my thoughts. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about where he would take her. It’s not back to Carlisle because he would have headed north.

  Darius’s name flashes and I slide my finger across the screen. “Have you found her?”

  “It’s a long shot, but I think we have a lead. We found a business card for a Tim Rowland for Gateway Housing. I’ve called him, and he confirmed a Carl Holmes was a client. But get this―he only looked at one house, one time. The only reason Tim remembered him was because he thought he was sketchy, but it seems Rick thought of everything. He produced a business card for Lawson Law, using his alias’s name.”

  “Where?” I ask impatiently. I know he’s trying to explain, not wanting me to get my hopes up, but anything at the moment is better than nothing.

  “You know the old derelict house up on Haricot Hill?”

  “Yeah. Isn’t that knocked down though?”

  “No. Apparently the council said it couldn’t be, something to do with legislations. Our guy never got back in touch with Tim, but if that is where he’s taking her, then he won’t even need a key.”

  “We’ll check it out. Head our way just in case,” I tell him, itching to get off the phone.

  “Okay. Keep in touch,” he says before ending the call.

  I turn to Cage. “We need to go to the old derelict house up on Haricot Hill. Darius seems to think he’s taken her there since he went to look at it through an estate agency.”

  Cage nods, taking the next right. He turns to me quickly before looking back at the road. “That’s what? Half an hour away, a little more?”

  “Yeah.” I nod, looking at my phone. “And they’re over an hour ahead of us. And that’s if they’re even there,” I curse.

  “No. I think Darius is on to something. Think about it. He was heading west, and the cameras on Falcon Road picked the car up. It’s in the same direction,” he says and picks up speed, ignoring the honking horns blasting.

  “Go,” I tell him, not caring how we get there as long as we get there. Cage grunts but does as I say, turning his sirens on.

  CHAPTER 32

  LOLA

  My eyes feel too heavy to open, and my back hurts badly. It feels like pieces of metal are sticking into me, cutting me.

  I hiss in pain when I move and realise I’m on a bed. There’s no mattress, the springs digging into me. I still and take inventory of my injuries, noticing for the first time that my top half is bare. I’m no longer wearing the blouse from earlier, and I have no idea what happened to it. The next thing I pick up is the tight rope burning the skin around my wrists, the texture rough and unpleasant.

  My eyes open in a panic, taking in my surroundings. I’m no longer in the bed and breakfast I woke up in before.

  Rick isn’t in the room. Taking a chance, I pull on the rope with no luck.

  Another scan of the room has me wary. The place is dark, but there’s a small lamp with a broken shade by the door, the light so dim it seems pointless to have it on. My eyes pause on a dark figure in the room, the back of my neck tingling in awareness.

  Is that Rick?

  Has he been watching me this whole time?

  When I don’t see any movement, I strain my eyes for a further look, but for all I know, it could be a pile of rubbish.

  Trying to sit up, the bed springs squeak, and I cry out when a broken one cuts into my back. The warm blood trickles down my back, and my eyes water further.

  Someone find me, please!

  Someone has to have noticed I’m gone. I don’t know what time it is, but it’s dark outside. Dean must be going out of his mind.

  Oh my God, Dean!

  Tears spring to my eyes when I picture his handsome face, his gorgeous eyes and think of his loving nature. All I want to do, more than anything in this world, is have his arms around me one more time. If tonight is the night that Rick kills me, then that would be my dying wish.

  I love him more than my heart can handle sometimes, and although it sounds like I’m giving up, I’m not going down without a fight. I can’t. I’ll fight for Dean, for us and our future.

  If you have one, a cruel voice snickers inside my head.

  No, this can’t be the end of us.

  I struggle to sit up again, this time manoeuvring myself so I’m at a weird angle, my head bent forward and my body farther up the bed. I cry out when another spring digs into me, scraping along my skin.

  Hearing footsteps, I shiver. Fear courses through my body, and no matter how I try to get free it doesn’t happen. The nearer he gets the more I panic, frustrated tears falling down my cheeks.

  Please, no. Please get me out of this alive.

  The footsteps stop outside the door, the light coming from under it blocked by his looming form. I choke back a sob, petrified.

  Back at the hotel I may have been quick to shoot my mouth off, but it didn’t stop me from feeling terrified or scared.

  Everything seems to happen in slow motion as Rick pushes the door open, standing stock-still in the doorway. I want to cower back on the bed, cover my body up, but I can’t. More tears fall when I realise just how vulnerable I am right now.

  He steps into the room, the light casting an eerie shadow across his face and making him look even more intimidating and terrifying.

  “Well, hello, sleepy head,” he drawls as he takes a step into the room. I pull at the rope once more and a slow, small smirk appears on his lips. “Ah, I bet you’re wondering why you’re tied up.”

  “Actually, no. I’m wondering why you haven’t killed me yet,” I snap and he laughs, throwing his head back.

  “I thought it was best to tie you up this time round. I didn’t want you to make the same mistake twice. We wouldn’t want to get me angry now, would we, Lola?”

  He walks slowly over to the bed when I don’t answer, sliding his finger between my breasts, his pupils dilating. My skin crawls from his touch, and I try to move away.

  “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so fucking much. You’re mine. You’ve been mine since the day I laid eyes on you. You’ll always be mine, and if you think of running again, I will kill you.” He says it so simply, like we’re having a normal conversation. There’s no sentiment in his tone and, apart from the desire written across his face, his eyes are dead, void of any emotion.

  I shake my head, afraid I’ll crack if I speak. A sob is already threatening to break out, and I don’t know how long I can keep it together. I look towards the door he’s left open briefly and wonder if I can get him to untie these ropes. My strength is waning, so if I’m going to make a move it has to be now, before he does anymore damage to my already-broken body.

  “Yes, Lola. Mine. And if you don’t obey, I’ll kill your grandpa first. If you still don’t listen, I’ll kill that prick who thinks he can take you away from me and then his whole family. If that doesn’t give you any incentive, I’ll kill you. No one gets to have what’s mine.”

  A sob breaks free, his words finally snapping me. I’d rather be dead than spend another day with this monster, but I will if it will protect those I love, and he knows that. He knows I’ll never risk my grandpa―he’s threatened me with him before―but now I have more people to protect.

  More tears fall, and I look up to him, cringing. “Okay. Okay. I’ll do anything you want me to as long as you leave them alone,” I plead, just as a plan forms in my head.

  He grins wide, looking at me like he’s just won the lottery. I want to puke and punch him in the face. I’ve never hated anyone as much as I do him. It’s a hate that’s rooted deep in my heart, one that will never fade in time.

  “Good girl,” he says, and it literally has me throwing up in my mouth. I feel like I’ve just sold my soul to the devil, but then, I already did that years ago.

  Dean has your soul. He had it first.

  Tears form from the words my inner conscience screams at me. It gives me the strength I need to get through this, to try to
pull this plan off even if it means taking a chance that he might kill me.

  “I’ll show you how great we are together. I’ll prove to you that I’m the only one who loves you. No one could love you like I do. And I brought you a present to prove that.” The fact he said he’s brought me a present and not bought me a present, doesn’t pass my notice. He points to the corner of the room, to where the dark shadow is looming on the floor, and I pick up a wheezing sound coming from that direction.

  My eyes widen, and I struggle on the bed. “You promised you wouldn’t hurt them!” I yell, tears forming.

  He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I did. That, my pretty, is Sally.” He chuckles and my eyes widen further.

  “Sally?” I croak out, not understanding what’s going on. I thought he and Sally were working together or were together. But now he has her on the floor, obviously hurt if the noises coming from her are any indication.

  “Yeah.” He shrugs. “Stupid bitch. She actually believed I wanted her, that we were going to be together.”

  He rolls his eyes again and walks over to her. He kicks her motionless form, and I wince, crying for her when a pained noise escapes her.

  “Stop.”

  “Why? She came here thinking I was coming to get revenge for you leaving me for another man,” he sneers. “Like anyone would leave me for another man. But she turned up to the bed and breakfast. How she fucking found me I have no clue, but she did so I used her to get information on you and your little friends. She even went into the bookshop you frequent so much, gasbagging to the owner.” He laughs, and I struggle to breathe. He must have been watching us for weeks.

  The weekend when Pagan, Brooke and I went out celebrating comes to mind, and I know without having to ask that it was him that night. I wasn’t going mad, and I wasn’t paranoid. It was him.

  “Why?” I croak out, although I have no idea what I’m asking him to explain.

  “Because she wants me and would do anything for me. But then she found out I was planning on taking you and fleeing the country. She found our passports and plane tickets. She went crazy possessive and threatened to tell you everything. She wanted to hurt you, baby. I shut her up. I told her you were it for me and that you were the only woman I loved, but she still wouldn’t listen. So, I knocked her out. I’ve kept her down all week, drugging her, the same way I drugged you.” He laughs. “I did it for you. This is all for you.”