Seeking the Future

by Brenda Kennedy

  I can’t ever tell anyone what really happened to me. They don’t need to know about those days. My friends and family would feel guilty for not being there. They already feel guilty for not helping me. There isn’t anything they could have done to help me. No one could. I couldn’t even help myself.

  I fake a yawn and stretch my hands over my head. I don’t know how long I can keep these lies up. The injuries that Chase knows about are too hard to cover up.

  “I’m sorry, I think the day is catching up with me.”

  “It’s okay.” He leans over and kisses me. “I love you, Ava.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He turns off the lights and closes the hospital door enough to block out the lighting from the hallway. He scoots close to me while trying to get comfortable in the recliner. Just as I’m about to dose off, he says, “Ava?”

  With my eyes still closed, I say, “Mmm.”

  “Just for the record, you’re a terrible liar.”

  I open one eye and see him in the recliner with his eyes closed. I take his hand in mine, lace our fingers together, and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  I wake up in the morning with my memory intact. Chase refuses to leave to go to the cafeteria to eat. He stays by my side the entire time. I’m released from the hospital without any major restrictions. On the drive home from the hospital, Chase says, “This may be too soon to ask, but I was wondering how fast you want to move forward with our relationship?”

  He watches the road and I watch him. I’m not sure how fast or how slow he’s thinking of moving forward with us. Us? There’s really an us?

  “It’s not like we just met. We’ve known each other a very long time.”

  “That’s true, we have. But we also have never dated each other before.”

  I smile. “That’s not true. We were on a date just a couple weeks ago with each other.”

  He laughs a throaty laugh. “The blind date that Skylar set up. How could I have forgotten?” He pauses before saying, “I was thinking of moving to Savannah.”

  Excitedly, I say, “You would do that?”

  “I made up my mind yesterday when I knew how you felt about me.”

  “If you don’t want to make the move here, I could sell the inn and move back to Lake City with you.”

  He looks surprised. “Do you want to sell the inn?”

  “No, not really. But I don’t want to put a strain on our relationship, or on you.”

  “I could talk to Barton about opening a branch here. We’ve been discussing doing it anyway. Savannah might actually be a great location.”

  “Perfect.”

  He looks over at me and says, “So I guess we aren’t going to waste any time getting acquainted?”

  “I think we’ve already done that. I don’t see a need to wait, unless you do.”

  “No, I don’t. I’ve waited long enough. Ava, I’d like to at least take you away for a weekend in the very near future.”

  “I’d like that, but I have the inn to run.” I’m not sure how this will work out for us. I can’t get away for a day, much less a weekend.

  “Maybe you could close the inn down for a few days, or have Xander’s mom or maybe even Nichole watch it for a couple of days.”

  “I could ask them. What did you have in mind?”

  “A few days in Vegas. We could ask your parents, Skylar, and Drew to come with us if you’d like.”

  “It sounds wonderful. I’ve never been to Vegas.”

  “I think you’ll like it. The Bellagio has a water show that reacts to the song ‘I’m Proud to be an American.’ It’s powerful enough to make a foreigner want to become a US citizen.”

  “Sounds amazing. I hope we get to go.”

  When we pull up at the inn, Chase says, “Let me talk to your mom and dad in private while you ask Skylar and Drew to come with us. Then we’ll decide if we should close the inn for a few days, or have someone come in and work it.”

  “Okay, sounds good.”

  I watch as Chase walks behind Mom and Dad into my room. I’m not sure why he didn’t want to ask everyone together.

  I brace myself for Skylar’s answer, which I know will be enthusiastic.

  She shouts, “VEGAS! HELL, YEAH, WE WANT TO GO! HOW SOON DO WE LEAVE?”

  I laugh. “We still need to see what we’re going to do with the inn. Close it for a few days or ask someone to come and work it. It’s easy enough, but I’m not sure someone will want to be up before dawn making breakfast for fifteen people.”

  “I guess it depends on when we leave. If we don’t have any reservations booked, we could close it, but we’ll take a loss on any reservations that could come in for those days.”

  Skylar gets the reservation book and looks through it. Chase is talking to Mom and Dad longer than I expected.

  Skylar says, “Here, if we leave on this day, we can close the inn for four days. Is four days long enough in Vegas?”

  “Don’t ask me, I have no idea.”

  Drew laughs and says, “Babe, it all depends on what you’re doing. If you plan on gambling, four days is plenty of time, maybe too much time. A person can lose a shit-ton of money in four days. But if you want to see the sights, you may need to be there a day or two longer, depending on where you want to go.”

  “Prop my ass up next to a slot machine, hand me a beer, and I’ll call it home for the next four days.”

  “Has she always been this easy to entertain?” Drew asks.

  I laugh. “I’m afraid so.”

  Chase

  We decided it would be easier to close the inn while we go to Las Vegas. The last three weeks leading up to this trip were hectic. Right away we set the date to leave, and then I had to head back to Lake City for work. My main focus at work is getting Nichole divorced and getting her visitation rights for her grandson before I leave for our trip. I’m not really surprised that Brett didn’t want anything to do with his newfound grandson, but honestly, I was relieved. It’ll make it easier for Nichole. Before Nichole gets custody of the baby, they want her to get a relationship established with him. She’s been staying in Lake City so she can see him as often as they’ll let her. Ava is handling the whole situation very well, and I’m proud of her.

  I also have something planned for our trip to Vegas, and I had to make all of the plans via email or phone calls. It wasn’t easy to do, but Skylar, Claire, and Marshall were a huge help with setting everything up for me. I haven’t been back to Savannah since I left. It’s been an internal battle with myself. I want to be with Ava, and I want our first time together to be special.

  I spoke with Barton about opening a law firm in Savannah, and he was quick to agree it would be a great location to expand. It’s close enough for either of us to make the drive from one office to the other in a few hours. So, as soon as I get back from Vegas, my time will be spent in Savannah looking for the perfect office building. Hopefully, this will be an easy task. Just being closer to Ava will make it easier on me.

  So we can all fly out to Vegas together, I drive to Savannah. Skylar and Drew, along with Claire and Marshall, are coming with us. Fortunately, I was able to get all of us rooms at the Bellagio with a view of the water show. I know they change the song for the water show often, but since it’s an election year, maybe they’ll play something patriotic.

  When I pull up at the inn, I’m shocked at what I see. It’s a four-day trip, but the back of Marshall’s SUV is filled to capacity. I’m not surprised when I see Skylar wheeling out a suitcase on rollers.

  “This is the last one,” she says, lifting it up into the SUV.

  “Don’t you think you have enough clothes already packed?” Drew asks.

  “I do. This one holds my makeup.”

  Everyone laughs but Skylar, and I wonder if she’s serious.

  Once we board the plane, I hold Ava’s hand. She’s never flown before, but I had no idea how frightened she would be. “Ouch,” I say, looking down at my now purplish fingers. />
  “Oh, sorry.”

  “It’s okay. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Airplanes are heavy, aren’t they?”

  I want to laugh but I smile instead. “Yes, Ava, they are. I’d say they weigh several tons.”

  She leans in closer so only I can hear. “If I understood how something that heavy could fly, then I might not be worried.”

  “It’ll be okay. I’ve flown a lot and I’ve never seen one that couldn’t stay in the air.”

  When I have to go to the bathroom, I stand up. Still holding my hand, Ava asks, “What’s wrong?”

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Ok.”

  She stands up, still holding my hand, and walks with me to the bathroom, and then she stands outside until I am done.

  She then grabs my hand and says, “No more bathroom breaks for you. I’m too scared not to hold your hand.”

  Once we finally land in Vegas, Ava relaxes. We walk through the airport and she’s amazed at all the bells and whistles coming from the nearby slots. “You don’t want to play these ones, we’ll play the ones at the hotel and casino. The slots at the airport are reported to be wound tight; that means it’s almost impossible to win.”

  Skylar rushes over and plays the slots I just warned everyone not to play.

  “She’ll soon regret that,” Marshall says.

  After a few moments, she says, “Well, that shot twenty bucks in the ass real quick.”

  I shouldn’t say it, but I do. “Told ya.”

  I am reminded of an old joke that I don’t tell: “Did I win in Vegas? Let me tell you: I arrived in Vegas in a $25,000 car and left Vegas in a $250,000 bus.”

  We use Uber to take us from the airport to the hotel and casino. Ava admires the beauty that Vegas has to offer.

  “This place is really spectacular. Thank you for bringing me here.”

  “You’re welcome. I thought we could have a nice dinner tonight at one of the hotel restaurants. Does that sound okay to you?”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  Once we are all dressed and ready for dinner, we meet everyone in the lobby of the hotel.

  “Where’s Skylar?” Ava asks.

  “I think my girlfriend has an addiction problem,” Drew says, nodding in the direction of the casino.

  I follow his eyes and I see that Skylar is sitting at a slot machine with a beer to her mouth. “She doesn’t have any credit cards on her, does she?”

  “Dude, do you have any idea how much money she’s spent already, and we just got here?”

  We watch as Drew walks over to her.

  “I feel bad for that guy,” I admit.

  Claire says, optimistically, “She’ll be fine, it’s just the excitement of the first day.”

  I look down at Ava, “Are you that excited, too?”

  Giggling, she says, “I don’t think so. I must be excited about other things.”

  “Me, too. Let’s eat.”

  During dinner, I watch the interaction between Ava and everyone. She’s definitely back to her pre-wedding self. She’s happy and laughing. I’ve never been more grateful to be single than I am right here, right now. I knew Ava was the only one for me. I also knew early on that no one else would be able to fill the void of not having her in my life. I’m just glad I didn’t search for the void fillers. That would have been disastrous.

  “Are you all right, son?”

  I look at Marshall and smile. “I am.”

  “You’re awfully quiet today,” Ava says. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Ava, I’m fine.” I squeeze her hand under the table and leave it there.

  During dessert, I clear my throat. “I have something to say.” Of course everyone at the table already knows what’s going on. Well, everyone but Ava. She has no clue. I needed help in pulling this off, and I’m happy that Skylar could keep a secret. Everyone shifts in their seat to give me their undivided attention. “This trip is to celebrate Ava being here with us. I personally couldn’t be happier.” She leans in and kisses me. “But there’s another reason I brought her out here.” Now she looks around the table. “Vegas is known for their impromptu weddings, and their saying of ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,’ which, if you ask me, makes absolutely no sense at all.”

  I remove the engagement ring from my jacket pocket and kneel in front of Ava. I didn’t get her a solitaire ring. I decided to get her a halo-style, princess-cut engagement ring. She’s my angel and my princess rolled into one.

  She doesn’t look frightened or scared. She smiles.

  “I’ve already reserved a wedding chapel in this hotel for tomorrow evening. Skylar’s made an appointment for you to try on wedding dresses this evening, and your mom and dad gave me permission to ask you to marry me.” Now she cries. “If you say yes, and if you want to marry me quickly, we can be married by this time tomorrow.” I pause briefly. “If you say yes, and want to wait, we can do that, too.” I look her in the eyes. “If you happen to, and I pray you don’t, say no, then I’ll patiently wait for you until you’re ready. A week. A month. A year. Ten years. No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait.” I take her left hand in mine. “But, Ava, I want nothing more than to finally have you and to call you my wife. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

  She nods and leans in, almost knocking me over, and kisses me. The room erupts with cheers. I hold the ring tightly and kiss her. “Is this a yes?”

  “Yes.”

  I slip the ring on her finger and it’s a perfect fit. She hasn’t said if she wants to marry right away or wait. “What time’s the appointment for the fitting?”

  “You’re agreeing to marry me tomorrow?”

  “I am. What happens in Vegas isn’t going to stay in Vegas.” She giggles.

  “No, it sure won’t.”

  Skylar stands from the table. “We gotta go now. We have to buy stuff for the wedding.”

  “You’ve made me a very happy man.”

  “I love you, Chase.”

  “I love you, Ava.”

  Everyone congratulates us and the guys watch as Ava, Claire, and Skylar walk out of the restaurant.

  I say, “I sure hope I can trust Skylar with my credit card to purchase only wedding items.” I look over at Drew.

  “Don’t look at me. I personally think she has a problem.”

  Marshall says, “It’ll be fine. Come on, we have some tuxes we need to try on.”

  Ava

  I’m engaged and I’m marrying Chase tomorrow. I can’t believe it. I honestly had no idea he was going to ask. I thought this was just a mini vacation. I have no reservations at all about marrying him. He’s been my best friend since college. He’s been there in my heart and head during my darkest days with Connor. He’s the reason I fought so hard to live. I knew if I ever had a second chance at life, I wouldn’t hold back on telling Chase how I felt. I should have done it from the beginning, but I didn’t and I can’t change that.

  I didn’t think I would find a dress that fit, but I did. I should have known. This is Vegas, and they have everything here at this hotel. We get shoes, and Mom and Skylar also find dresses. Flowers also aren’t a problem. The flower shop is right beside the shoe store. It’s a relief to purchase everything we need in one area.

  “I need a wedding ring for Chase.”

  “Nope, he already took care of the rings,” Skylar says.

  Mom says, “I think you have everything you need.”

  “I need some lingerie and a wedding gift for Chase.”

  “Well, here’s the lingerie store.” Skylar walks in that direction. “You can buy the lingerie with a bow on it and call it a wrap,” she teases.

  I bust out laughing. “I’m not giving myself to him as a wedding gift.”

  “Don’t forget about me — your mom — standing right here.”

  I look at Mom — she’s blushing.

  “Sorry, Claire,” Skylar says.

  “I’ll wait for you girl
s in the coffee shop.”

  “Okay, we won’t be long.”

  As soon as we have everything, we take it to Mom and Dad’s suite. Then we meet up with everyone in the casino.

  “If we hurry, I might have enough time to max this baby out before Chase asks for it back.”

  I look at Skylar, who is fanning Chase’s credit card in front of her face.

  “I’ll take that. You really should seek counseling for your gambling problem.”

  “I know, right. If I lived out here, I could see this being a real problem. Drew would have to start stripping or something to support my habit.” She laughs and thinks for a minute. “Drew as a stripper might not be such a bad idea. Remind me to get some singles when we leave here.”

  I shake my head and smile at how happy my friend is.

  We meet up with everyone and play in the casino for a while. “Were you able to get everything you needed for tomorrow?” Chase asks.

  Threading our fingers together, I lean into his side. “I did. This hotel is like its own city.”

  “It is. The hotels make it so you don’t have to leave. They want everyone to stay here, so you’ll spend your money here instead of spreading it all over town.”

  “That’s smart.”

  “Did everything fit okay?”

  “No, not at all. I had to get a burlap sack to wear. But the satin ribbon should dress it up some.”

  “Oh, Ava’s making jokes.”

  “You’ll have to wait to see if it fits tomorrow.”

  “It sounds like such a long time.”

  “It’s nothing compared to how long we’ve already waited.”

  “I guess you’re right.” He kisses me and says, “Do you want to play the slots or walk outside and see the water show?”

  “What time is it?”

  “Just before midnight.”

  “I gotta go. It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride on their wedding day.”

  He laughs and says, “I’ll walk you to the room.”

  We notify everyone that we are turning in and instead of them staying in the casino, they all agree to end the night early. I stay in Mom and Dad’s suite with them and Chase stays in our room.