Seeking the Future

by Brenda Kennedy

  I walk over and watch one baby before watching the other. The nurses and doctor weigh them and measure them. I’m happy to learn that both girls are over five pounds. Although exhausted, Ava doesn’t take her eyes off them.

  “We’d like to see if you’ll put the girls together?” I say over a loudly crying baby.

  “Sure. We can do that.”

  I watch as they place Jami with Eva. As Ava thought, the girls instantly calm. A mother’s instinct? I shouldn’t be surprised. Ava smiles. I watch as the babies reach out for the other one. It’s like they sense each other. Is that possible? I guess it is.

  As soon as I know Ava is resting and the girls are content, I go out and announce the birth of our children. The waiting room is full. Steve and Lou Ann are here, Nichole and little Connor, Drew and Skylar, Claire and Marshall, Daniel and Rachael. Even my parents came for the birth.

  “We have two healthy girls with very healthy lungs,” I say proudly. The room erupts with cheers. “And… they weigh over five pounds each.”

  “That’s almost unheard of,” Skylar says.

  “They’re amazing. Wait until you see them. They said a couple of people can come back at a time.”

  “How’s Ava?” Marshall asks.

  “She’s wonderful. Her motherly instincts have already kicked in.” I tell them about her saying to put the twins together to calm them and it worked. “She’s tired, but that’s expected.”

  Claire and Marshall go back to see them first. Before I leave the room, my mom asks, “Chase, can we talk to you for a minute?”

  I really want to get back there with Ava and the girls. “If you have to leave, I understand. I’ll tell Ava you came by.”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Oh.” My parents never want to talk to me. I wonder if one of them is ill or something. We’ve never been close, but I certainly don’t want anything to happen to them. “Let’s talk over there,” I say. “It’s more private than anyplace else in this room.”

  I follow them to the far corner of the room. Skylar watches me even with a room full of people; she knows this is unusual.

  “We owe you an apology,” Dad says.

  “Why?”

  “We’ve been selfish.” Mom runs her hands up and down her arms. “I guess the birth of your children made us see what bad choices we made with you.”

  “What we’re trying to say is, we’re sorry. We’d like to try to build a relationship with you, Ava, and our grandchildren.” When I don’t say anything, Dad says, “That is, if it’s not too late.”

  I look at both of them. I’m not sure I’m hearing what they’re saying. Are they serious? Is this a joke? Am I dreaming?

  “Chase, we want to be there for our grandchildren. We were so foolish, and we’re so sorry we weren’t there for you. Please, can you forgive us?”

  I look at Mom and she has a tear falling down her cheek. I’ve never seen her cry. Can I forgive them? They don’t know about Ava. They have no idea what she’s been through in her life. I have to protect her. I can’t have them in and out of our lives, disrupting my family. I don’t want my daughters growing up and wondering why their grandparents don’t love them. I finally say, “Look, a lot has happened that you don’t know about.”

  Mom interrupts. “We bought a house in Savannah near the inn. We want to establish our roots so you know we’re serious. We also want to make it up to you and get to know your wife and children.”

  For the first time since I can remember, I see something in my mom that was never there before. Compassion? Love? Honesty? I’d like nothing more than that, but I can’t risk them hurting Ava or the twins.

  “And what makes you think this time next week you won’t be taking off to Italy or Rome?”

  “We won’t. This is what we both want.” My dad looks away. “We’ve been selfish and we’ve missed out on so much. We don’t want to waste another day.”

  Mom interrupts, “Here, we bought Ava and the girls something. Here’s our address. If you decide to give us a chance, this is where you can find us. Chase, we’re here to stay.”

  She hands me three wrapped gifts. Not a check or an envelope, but gifts that they went out and bought and wrapped. “Did you wrap these?” I have to make sure.

  “We did. Well, your mother did the wrapping, but we shopped for them together.”

  I hate to get my hopes up, but I think they’re sincere in wanting to be grandparents to our kids and maybe stepping into the parent role, although I’m already grown. “Do you want to meet Eva and Jami?”

  My mother’s face lights up. “We’d love to. You’ve already named them?”

  “Eva Lily and Jami Rose.” I don’t tell them the meaning behind the names. I’m not sure they’ll care.

  Mom says, “They have such beautiful names.”

  “Come on. Let’s go and meet your granddaughters.”

  It’s been four weeks since Ava gave birth to our daughters. Mom and Dad bought an all-American home beside Claire and Marshall’s house. White house, black shutters, white picket fence with a red, white, and blue American flag flying high on the flagpole. They didn’t even realize that their neighbors were the other set of grandparents to Eva and Jami. True to their word, they are an active part in our lives. Visiting daily, making dinner, even changing diapers. They look happy. I never asked them what happened in their lives for the sudden change. I’m just glad that whatever it was, our girls will benefit from the love of another set of grandparents. My parents, Kathy and Jimmy, are making up for their absence in my life by being present in my daughters’ lives. Seeing them so involved in with my children has made forgiving them easy. The more people who love our children, the better.

  The girls are not identical; however, they both look like Ava. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to love two children, but I do. Love is a bottomless pitcher; I pour and pour. If it’s even possible, I have everything I need right here in front of me.

  Ava

  Chase and I are sleep deprived, but it’s a wonderful life. The girls are on separate schedules, and the carriage house is now too small for our family of four, causing the overflow to fall into the living quarters at the inn. Thank God, Drew and Skylar aren’t complaining. Today, Jimmy and Dad are putting up a privacy fence. After everything that’s happened, I think this is a great idea. The girls are a handful now, and I can’t even imagine how we’ll contain them once they become mobile. Mom and Kathy are here everyday helping out. Chase and I still are very protective, and we have baby monitors set up so we can hear what’s going on in the other rooms of the house and at the inn while we visit there.

  Today we try to nap while Mom and Kathy tend to the girls. It’s hard to sleep with all the laughing going on by the grandmothers. They laugh at the facial expressions the girls make, the yawns, and the random smiles, and they even laugh as the girls pass gas.

  I look at Chase and he is also listening to the baby monitors. I can tell we won’t be getting any sleep. “Ready to get up?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  We both walk out into the living room where Mom and Kathy are each holding a baby. Chase and I stand back and watch the interaction between them. I know Chase was concerned when his parents showed up at the hospital. He didn’t want them to be in and out of the girls’ lives. He didn’t want them to ever feel not loved or confused by their presence. I have to admit, I was also concerned. That was until I saw the gifts they bought the girls when they were born. They each received keepsake books: books for us to document their progress from birth to high school graduation. It wasn’t so much the books as it was the inscription written in each one from Kathy.

  For our beautiful granddaughter.

  Our greatest wish is that you always know how much we love you. That you walk through life knowing that no matter what, we are always here for you. May you grow strong and have the power of family behind you every step of the way. We will always be here for you, no matter what.
/>   We love you more than words can say. Grandma and Pap.

  I knew without a doubt that they were here to stay. They would be there for our girls and would smother them with love. You can’t think up words like this and not mean them. Sayings like these come from deep within your heart. I only wish they hadn’t missed out on their amazing son’s life. Chase is incredible and they’ve missed it. I don’t try to understand their reasoning for abandoning their only child to travel the world. I also don’t try to judge them for their decisions. It’s not my place to pass judgment on anyone.

  The gift they gave me was just as meaningful: a framed photo of the four of us on our wedding night. We were standing outside of the water show at the Bellagio hotel in Vegas. I remember we had the picture taken, but we didn’t print it or display it. They weren’t involved in Chase’s life and he didn’t see a reason to pretend they were one happy family, but now the photo hangs proudly on the family wall we’ve created since the girls were born. We also have photographs of Drew, Skylar, Nichole, and little Connor hanging on the wall.

  “I thought you guys were taking a nap,” Kathy says.

  “Hard to sleep with all the laughter,” Chase says, walking over and taking Eva from his mother.

  “Is grandma being silly?” His mother asks as he cuddles Eva gently.

  I also take Jami from my mom. She sleeps peacefully. “You know you can put her down while she sleeps, right?” I lay her in the bassinet in the corner of the room.

  “I know, but I can’t look at her when she’s so far away.”

  I just smile. I feel the same way. I have to fight the urge to hold them constantly. A fear I have is that they’ll be dependent on being held and it’ll be too much. I can’t just sit around holding two children all day long. Well, actually I could, but nothing else would get done. I walk over and take Eva from Chase and put her in the same bassinet with her sister. I still like to keep them together as much as possible. It’s almost like they sense the other is there. Jami instantly calms.

  Looking at them, I still can’t believe they’re mine. Chase and I made them. It amazes me that these tiny, breathing human beings are my children. How is that even possible? Everything I’ve been through in my life, this right here has made up for it. I’ve never been happier.

  Mom says, “Before I forget to tell you, Skylar called and said the reservations at the inn for this evening have been canceled.”

  I bring my attention away from the babies and turn to face Mom. “I hate hearing that.” The inn isn’t doing as well as Skylar and I had planned. However, the tearoom is thriving.

  “Skylar said you’re having a slow month.”

  I look at Mom and say, “We’re having a slow few months. I don’t understand it. I mean I appreciate the downtime right now, but we need to rent the rooms to turn a profit.”

  Kathy says, “There’s so many bed and breakfasts in the area. Competition is tough. When Jimmy and I were looking for houses, the first thing we noticed were all of the inns in the area.”

  “She’s right, Ava,” Mom agrees.

  “It’s a good thing you have the tearoom to balance it out.” She stands from the couch and looks out the window. “It looks like the fence is finally done.”

  “And it looks great,” I agree.

  We have dinner together, bathe the girls, and put them down for bed before our parents leave for the night. I can’t stop thinking about what Kathy said about the market being saturated with inns. Later that night, Chase and I research the area for inns, tearooms, and teahouses. I’m not surprised to see the number of inns has increased since we’ve been here. Savannah’s a great area, and everyone wants to stay at a quaint bed and breakfast rather than stay in a hotel. What does surprise me is the lack of teahouses and tearooms in the area. To run the inn is a full-time job. Someone always has to be here, and it requires a lot of prep work and early morning hours. When I was single, it was perfect. But now that I’m married with kids, it takes up a lot of time. Almost too much of my time.

  “Not exactly what you were hoping for, is it?” Chase asks about the number of inns in this area.

  “No, I guess it’s not. But blessings comes in all shapes and sizes.”

  “The inn’s failing and you’re talking about blessings. I think you lost me.”

  “I’m not exactly sure, I have some numbers to crunch, but this might be a good thing for all of us.”

  Chase closes his computer. “I won’t pry, but are you talking about closing the inn?”

  “It’s not my decision to make alone. I’ll need to talk to Skylar about it. I don’t think it makes much sense keeping it open and taking a loss on it.”

  “It’s not a total loss, the tearoom’s still profitable.”

  “I have an idea. Do you mind if I call Skylar and Drew over to discuss it?”

  “No, I’ll make the call for you.”

  When they walk in the house, Skylar walks past me and heads toward the nursery.

  “Don’t wake them.”

  “I won’t.”

  Chase and I sit down and wait while Drew and Skylar visit their goddaughters. When they each return to the room holding a child each, I laugh. “I told you not to wake them.”

  “We didn’t, see.” She uncovers Jami so I can see her beautiful face. “They’re both sound asleep.” I wait for them to sit down. “What’s up?” Skylar asks.

  “Chase and I were googling inns in the Savannah area. Did you know there are seven more inns in Savannah since we bought this one?”

  “No, I had no idea. Kind of explains the declining numbers of reservations.”

  Rocking Eva, Drew says, “That’s not good.”

  “Did you also know that there are only a few tearooms in the city, and they are several miles apart from each other?”

  “No, but that explains the rapid growing sales for the tearoom.” She frowns. “I hope you’re not suggesting we close the inn.”

  “If it’s no longer lucrative, I can’t see why we’d keep it open.”

  “She has a good point, Skylar,” Drew says.

  She exhales. “If we sell it, I’ll have to go back to nursing.”

  “Not necessarily.” Ava smiles. “I have another idea. What if we close the inn, and turn it into a teahouse? We’ll run it just as we are. Maybe extend the hours and add a small gift shop.”

  “No more early morning hours making breakfast for twenty people?”

  I laugh at Skylar. “Nope.”

  “No more cooking all day on Sundays?”

  “Nope.”

  “No more going to bed at 9:00 pm so we can get up early in the morning?”

  “Only if you want to.”

  “No more being at the inn 24/7?”

  “Nope. We’ll need to work out the hours of operation. Maybe extend the noon tea from 11:00 am to 3:00 pm. I don’t have all the answers, but I do think it’ll be a better alternative for us. Closing the inn and adding a gift shop and expanding the tearoom.”

  Skylar kisses the baby. “Sounds great. Let me get some ideas and we’ll talk more tomorrow.”

  Skylar

  Drew and I spend the evening doing our own research. Ava was right about the saturated market of bed and breakfasts in this area. Tearooms and teahouses are scarce. I also google best-selling items to sell in a tearoom gift shop and I’m not surprised by what I see. Anything related to tea sells. Teacups, teapots, flavored teas, lace tablecloths, napkins, among other things. I make a list of some of the top-selling items to show Ava in the morning.

  “Babe, not to change the subject, but did you happen to see how crowded the carriage house was when we were over there?” Drew asks.

  I did, but I didn’t want to say anything. “Yeah, the babies sure filled the space up quickly.”

  “Would it be wrong to ask them to move back in here?”

  I find this request odd coming from a man who’s never been around children. “They’ll have less room than they have now. The living quarters have
fewer square feet than what they currently have.” He’s a smart man. He should already know this.

  “I was thinking about if you guys close the inn. You’ll have all those empty bedrooms. This house is actually a seven-bedroom home with additional space in the living quarters. If you wanted to, you could have the tearoom and gift shop have its own entrance, and stop the traffic inside the house, making it a livable space for a family.”

  “Drew, that is a great idea. You’re brilliant.”

  “It’s what I do,” he teases.

  The next day, since the inn is empty of guests, I get to sleep in. As soon as Drew leaves for work, I run over to the carriage house. Chase has already left for work and Ava is home with the twins alone. It’s just a matter of time before the entourage of family will be here to help her and to love the babies. I knock and wait for her to unlock the door to let me in. She’s already dressed for the day — she looks stunning. Her hair is in a high ponytail, and she is wearing yoga pants and a black tee-shirt. She’s holding a coffee mug in her hand.

  “I can’t believe how great you look after having two kids,” I say honestly. I walk in smiling before heading to the bassinet where the babies are peacefully sleeping. “How do you not just sit around holding them all day long?”

  “Do not pick them up,” she says sternly.

  I quickly remove my hands from inside the bassinet and hold them up in surrender. “I’m not,” I lie. “I was just looking at them. But seriously, how do you not hold them all day?” I look back in the bassinet at the sleeping beauties. They both have their own look, but they definitely look like sisters and they definitely look like Ava.

  She walks over and looks into the bassinet and smiles. “I don’t want to spoil them. I do sit and watch them a lot through the day.”

  I turn to face her. I can see a bouncy seat and a baby swing sitting on the floor. Before we sit down and talk business, I say, “Sure I can’t hold one?”

  “I’m sure, but I will let you feed one when they wake up.”

  “Okay, deal.”

  Ava gets her tablet and pen and we sit at the dining room table. I show her what I found on the computer about teahouses and gift shops. I also show her an online shop where we can purchase items in bulk at a discount for the gift shop.