Hold Her Again

by Shannon Stacey

  Ava’s breath caught in her throat when he opened the case and pulled out his guitar. He had the best instruments money could buy. She’d recognized the quality and the name on the guitar in the magazine spread.

  But the one he cradled in front of him right now wasn’t expensive and glossy. It was old and a little shabby, and simply the best guitar a young woman could buy in a small city with money borrowed from her grandmother.

  Ava was probably the only person in the room who’d recognize it, since they’d decided to head to St. Louis right after she gave it to him. They didn’t think they were ready, financially or in experience, for Nashville yet, but St. Louis was a music city and it would be a start. Before that, the people of Cottonwood Creek had only ever seen him perform with the guitar Brian had bought for him and then smashed.

  But Ava knew. And she didn’t think he’d pulled it out of a dusty closet to wave in front of her as yet another reminder of how much she’d loved him once. The case was newer and far more expensive than the one he’d had that guitar in before, but it showed just enough wear so she knew he used it. Maybe he didn’t perform with it or pose with it in magazines, but the guitar she’d bought Jace had definitely done some traveling with him. It still meant something to him.

  And that meant everything to her.

  He started with “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” of course, before moving on to some traditional carols. His voice had matured more over the years, and Ava found herself as transfixed as everybody else listening to him. He wasn’t showy, like he was during some of the more high-energy concert clips she’d seen, but he was confident and knew how to draw the crowd in.

  And he knew how to draw her in, too. He made eye contact with her a few times, and each time, it was as if he was staring into her soul. The people around her faded away, until it was the two of them again, making beautiful music.

  After muttering a curse she was thankful nobody next to her heard, Ava surrendered to the inevitable.

  She worked her way through the crowd, which wasn’t easy. They were probably slightly over capacity, but the people rotating out to the parking lot for fresh air or a smoke kept it from being too much. A few people tried to talk to her, but she kept moving.

  Jace spotted her when she was about ten feet from the stage and, after a few seconds of eye contact, a slow smile spread over his face. And then the crowd realized what was happening and the applause and the whistles started as she climbed the two steps onto the wooden stage. Butterflies danced in her stomach and she might have bolted for the door, but Jace held out his hand.

  She let herself take hold of it without thinking, and his fingers curled around the edge of her hand, pulling her toward the microphone.

  “Y’all know we’re raising money for the Santa fund tonight,” Jace said into the microphone, turning back to the crowd without letting go of her hand. “And I hope you’ll dig deep because it means a lot to me. Back in the day, when times were tough, the Santa fund brought me joy. And now it’s brought me joy again because all I wanted for Christmas this year was for Ava Wright to sing with me again.”

  He was playing to the crowd, she told herself as his words caused warmth to seep through her. Jace Morrow could always sing, but he’d learned about performing while he was away, and he knew how to get these people to open their wallets. But no matter how much she tried to resist it, the emotion in his voice got all mixed up with the sweet memories of being on stage with him in the past and her heart pounded in her chest.

  Then he looked back at her and grinned. “I guess I must have been a good boy this year.”

  The crowd hooted and hollered, but Ava barely heard them. She felt the answering grin curving her mouth and was powerless to stop it. “I seriously doubt that.”

  He laughed and then let go of her hand to play the opening bars of “Winter Wonderland.” It was an easy song to sing and one she’d always had a lot of fun with, so she was happy he opened with it.

  She thought it would hurt more, singing with Jace again. But it was so natural—so right—that she lost herself in the songs and the harmonizing. By the fourth song, which was “Away in a Manger” by request from a child in the audience, she was having fun, but could also feel the strain in her throat. It had been a long time.

  “Okay, folks,” Jace said after a rousing rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock.” “It’s time for a break. It’s a little hot up here and we need a drink.”

  People cheered and a lot of hands clapped him on the back as they left the stage. He wasn’t lying about it being hot, and Ava headed straight for the door. She needed some fresh air and some peace.

  It wasn’t until she found a quiet space around the corner, out of the cloud of cigarette and cigar smoke that was lingering in the evening air, that she realized Jace had followed her outside.

  He handed her a water bottle he must have grabbed on the way out—or had handed to him—and brushed her hair back away from her face. “Thank you for singing with me.”

  “Thank you. You were right. That was fun.”

  “It always was.” He inhaled deeply, then blew out the breath. It was just cold enough so she could see it in the air. “I’ll probably have to do a few more songs.”

  “Definitely. I’m done, though. I’m out of practice.”

  “You wouldn’t know it from listening to you.”

  She knew the compliment was genuine, but she felt the familiar pang of remembering his future manager telling her she wasn’t good enough. It had been a fun night, though, and she refused to let it bother her.

  “It was fun” was all she said.

  “After I do a few more songs and can make a graceful exit, how about we go for a drive and find that spot by the creek.”

  Ava shivered, and she didn’t think it was the chilly night air. They’d loved walking along the creek, hand in hand, talking about anything and everything. They’d made love for the first time next to the creek. It was where he’d asked her to go to St. Louis with him because they were never going to get anywhere in Cottonwood Creek.

  “Just to talk,” he added. “It’s been a crazy week and I’d just like some quiet time with you.”

  And maybe it was the lingering high of singing with him again or maybe she was losing her mind, but she said yes.

  * * *

  By the time Jace had sung enough so he felt as if he’d done right by his hometown, he was afraid Ava had been given enough time to change her mind. He took the time to carefully put away the guitar, but then he made quick work of the goodbyes and handshakes he had to make.

  He didn’t see Ava anywhere and the disappointment was enough to ruin the night for him. He’d really been looking forward to getting her away from everybody so they could talk—really talk—and maybe start looking forward.

  But when he went outside, she was leaning against her Jeep, waiting for him. “Doesn’t make sense to take two vehicles. We’ll go in my Jeep so if you piss me off, I can you leave you there and imagine you walking all the way home.”

  He knew her expressions well enough to know she was only half joking, but it was a chance he was willing to take. Hell, he’d walk all the way there and all the way back to have a few minutes by the creek with Ava again.

  After locking his guitar in his truck, Jace climbed into the passenger seat of her Wrangler and she drove out to the small clearing in the woods where they used to go parking. He could see by the slight curve of her mouth that she remembered, too, and when they started walking down the overgrown path, her hand brushed his as if by habit. She pulled it away, though, before his fingers could lace through hers.

  “It’s so quiet after the schoolhouse,” she said after they’d reached the creek and slowed their pace.

  “It’s nice. This was always one of my favorite places. We made a lot of good memories here.”

  “Y
eah, we did. I don’t remember it being so cold, though.”

  He laughed, his breath making white puffs in the air. “It was usually summer, so definitely not cold. Do you want to go back?”

  “Not yet.” She lifted one shoulder. “It’s kind of nice being here with you.”

  “Really?” He shifted his weight sideways, bumping her shoulder with his.

  “Yes, really. It’s nice to think about the good memories and not the bad ones.”

  “We should talk more about the good ones, then.”

  She sighed. “Doesn’t make the bad ones go away, though.”

  “I’m sorry, Ava.” He curved his hand around her elbow so she’d stop and turn to face him. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

  He thought she’d pull away, or that anger would cloud her expression. But tears gathered, blurring the pretty eyes staring so intently into his. “You destroyed me, Jace. It was so much more than hurt. We were struggling, but we were happy and then you just threw it all away, like it meant nothing.”

  “I wish I could take it all back because you meant everything to me. I don’t expect you to believe that, after what I did.” He paused, blowing out a breath that was a fine, icy mist between them. “I was young and stupid and high on the possibilities, and I think there was a part of me that believed that when I’d signed the contract, you’d forgive me and when the time was right, you’d join me in Nashville.”

  “When you called, all I heard was you telling me that you’d made the right choice after all.”

  “I was excited and nervous and I blew it. I called to ask you to just give me a few months to get established and then you could come to Nashville and we’d write so once I was launched, we could record some songs together.”

  A tear slid down her cheek, but she jerked her face back when he tried to wipe it away with his thumb. “It was too late.”

  “It was too late the second I walked out the door, and I know that.” He slid his hand down her arm and his heart seized up for a few seconds when she laced her fingers through his. “I just want you to know I’m sorry.”

  She nodded, but didn’t say anything more. Instead, she started walking again, her hand still in his. It wasn’t easy, but he stopped talking and let her be. It was a lot to process and pushing her wasn’t going to help her forgive him.

  After a few minutes of walking in silence, she asked him if he’d been seeing much of Blue. Then they moved to other people they went to school with. She caught him up on who married who and who then got divorced. Even a town as small as theirs had plenty of gossip to fill the time as they walked almost twenty minutes before turning back.

  Her hand was cold in his by the time they reached where they’d parked and she was shivering. They both had jackets on, but they weren’t made for being outside at night in December, and he reached over to crank the heat up once she’d started the Jeep.

  “We need to get you warmed up,” he said.

  “You were always good at that,” she said, and the naughty smile left no doubt as to what she was referring to. “Trust me, I’ve missed you warming me up the last few years.”

  There was only one way to find out if it was nostalgia or an invitation. “I’d ask you to come back to my place, but six years of sitting hasn’t improved that old mattress you hated so much.”

  “Good lord, it’s the same one? That thing was awful.”

  “He wouldn’t replace it when I was actually sleeping in it, so he wasn’t likely to do it after I moved out.” He chuckled at her expression. It was pretty close to the same face she’d made the first time he’d lain her down on it, one summer day when his father was at work.

  His first night back in Cottonwood Creek, Jace had actually groaned when he stretched out on the ancient twin bed, cursing the lack of even a cheap motel in town. He’d briefly considered sleeping on the couch, but he remembered that as being even worse. Seeing how his father’s mattress was crossed his mind for a second, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it, so he’d just closed his eyes, thought of Ava and hoped he’d fall asleep eventually.

  “We could go to my place,” she said so softly, Jace was afraid he’d only imagined the words. But then she tilted her face up to look at him. “It’s no Nashville mansion, but I didn’t skimp on the mattress and box spring.”

  He let the comment about his house slide by because the last thing he wanted to do was bring the past back into the present, which was definitely looking up. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

  “It’s been a while,” she said. “And I’ve been lonely. I already know you know what you’re doing, so it’s pretty much a guaranteed win for me.”

  He smiled, but he got the message she was trying to send. She had an itch she knew he could scratch and there was nothing more to it.

  He didn’t believe it. Hell, he wasn’t even sure she believed it, but he’d go along with it.

  For now.

  The vehicle situation was awkward, but they both finally agreed that everybody was going to talk no matter what they did, so she dropped him back at his truck and he followed her to her place. Her mobile home sat on a pretty piece of property, and the Christmas lights around the windows blinked in festive greeting.

  She unlocked the door, but turned to face him before opening it and for one heart-stopping moment, he thought she’d changed her mind.

  He didn’t say anything to sway her one way or another, but he could see when she made up her mind that she was sure. The smile she gave him was one he hadn’t seen in too many years—all invitation and promise—and then she pushed open the door.

  Ava didn’t waste any time giving him a tour. Jace barely had time to look around the living room before she grasped the front of his coat and pulled him in for a kiss.

  He savored the familiar feeling of her mouth against his as she pushed his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms until he could shake it off. Once his hands were free, he slid them under her coat before doing the same for her.

  They left a trail of clothes on the way to her bed. He wanted to take his time, reacquainting himself with her body, but her hunger matched his own and she was having none of it.

  “I’ve missed this,” she said, throwing back her quilt before pulling him down to the mattress with her.

  “I’ve missed you.” He covered her mouth with his again, kissing her until her fingernails raked his back in impatience.

  Chuckling, he took his time leaving a trail of kisses down her neck. He’d always loved kissing her neck, but she pushed against his shoulders until he cupped her breast and ran his tongue teasingly over her taut nipple.

  Jace ran his hands over her body, his own aching with need for her. He knew where to touch her to make her sigh—to make her moan—and she stopped being so damn pushy as she surrendered to the pleasure he knew how to give her.

  “Please, Jace,” she finally begged in her low, husky voice that was like the sweetest music, and he grabbed one of the condoms he’d tucked into his pocket just in case and tossed on her nightstand as his pants came off.

  Her gaze locked with his as he entered her and he forced himself to take it slow and easy. She was so damn beautiful, looking up at him with her cheeks flushed and her hair spread out on the pillow, but when she reached up to cradle his face, he let his eyes close for a moment. Her fingertips skimmed over his cheek and across his lips. He caught a fingertip gently between his teeth, holding it captive for a few seconds before kissing the tip.

  They moved together, her hips rising to meet his, and Jace lost himself in her. The feel of her hands on his back. Her teeth nipping at his collarbone. Her fingernails digging into his skin as she said his name and arched against him.

  Her orgasm stripped him of the last of his control and he groaned, his hand clutching her hair, as he found his own release. And as he c
ollapsed on top of her, she wrapped her legs and arms around him, holding him close.

  “I might have to write a song about that,” she said after she’d caught her breath, and he chuckled against her neck.

  “It would be a hit, for sure,” he agreed, kissing the soft skin over her collarbone.

  He would gladly have stayed there forever, her body hot and slick with sweat under his, but he had business to take care of before they could drift off to sleep. If she intended to let him sleep there, of course.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said, knowing when he got up and walked to the bathroom, he was giving her the opportunity to get out of bed. He might come back to find her holding his clothes out to him, having scratched the itch. She was in the driver’s seat and he wouldn’t ask more than she was willing to give.

  But when he was done, Ava was exactly as he’d left her and she didn’t protest when he stretched out next to her and pulled the quilt over them. She even moved closer as he stretched his arm out under her pillow, so her face was pressed against his chest.

  For the first time in a long time, Jace felt as if his life was complete. With a sleepy, sated Ava next to him, he knew what contentment was and he didn’t want to give it up.

  They were meant to be together and he’d been stupid enough to walk away from her once, but he wanted more time with her. He wanted forever this time, and he couldn’t convince her he was a changed man from a distance.

  And now, when she was totally relaxed and snuggled up against him, was probably the best time to ask the question that had taken root the day she kissed him. “Ava, will you come to Nashville with me? For my Christmas party.”

  She tilted her head back to see him and her eyes widened, but other than surprise, he got nothing from her expression. She blinked a couple of times, and then her brow furrowed.

  “For your Christmas party?”