Hold Her Again
Page 9
“Yeah. It’s kind of a big deal and I want you with me, but you could stay longer, if you wanted. Maybe spend Christmas with me.”
Now that he’d said the words out loud, Jace realized just how badly he wanted her to say yes. He wanted to watch the reflection of the Christmas tree lights twinkling in Ava’s eyes. He wanted to see her happy.
“But the café. My job.”
Anything other than I don’t want to go with you because it was just sex with my ex, Jace could handle. “I bet you’ve taken days off before, so they can cover for you for a few days. After that...we’ll go from there.”
He didn’t want to push too hard. A little bit, because he knew if he didn’t push he could lose her again, but things were still new and the old wounds still tender.
“I need to think about it,” she said finally, which was better than a no. “When do you have to leave?”
“Tuesday would be best, but I can push back a day. Wednesday morning at the latest, to get me back to Nashville Wednesday night. If I’m any later than that, people will start panicking.”
“I’ll let you know by tomorrow night, then?”
“I hope you’ll go with me,” he said, and then he brought his mouth down on hers before she could say anything else.
Right now, naked in her bed, he much preferred kissing to talking.
Chapter Eight
Ava stood staring out the café’s window, watching the same boring view she’d been watching for years and waiting for somebody to show up hungry.
It had been almost twenty-four hours since Jace invited her to go to Nashville with him and she knew the clock was ticking, but she couldn’t make up her mind about it. Her heart wanted to go, but her brain thought maybe they should slow down a bit.
There was a possibility her heart wanted to go simply because it couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving again.
“What’s going on with you, honey?”
Ava turned away from the window at the sound of her mom’s voice. Beth usually stopped by at some point on Monday afternoons, during the quiet time, to take stock of what they had and what they needed. “It’s quiet today.”
“It’s always quiet between lunch and dinner, especially in December when people have more important things to do. Which you already know.” Her mom slid into a booth and patted the table, inviting Ava to join her. “You’re not bored. You’re brooding.”
“Jace asked me to go back to Nashville with him for the big Christmas party he throws at his house.”
Beth looked at her a long time, as if trying to read on her face how she felt about it. “What did you say?”
“Well, there’s the café to consider. I can’t just leave you guys with no notice like that.”
“Yes, you can, and you know it.”
Ava sighed. “It’s scary. Letting him in again is scary and it hurts, but it’s wonderful and... I don’t know.”
“Have you forgiven him?”
The question confused her. “I wouldn’t even be considering going if I hadn’t.”
“No, I mean really forgiven him? Because if you walk into his house and don’t see his home, but everything he got by leaving you behind, it’s going to do nothing but hurt you both.”
“I’m afraid letting him go without trying will hurt more.”
Her mom smiled and reached over to squeeze her hand. “Then go and enjoy the party. Don’t pin everything on one trip, though. You have plenty of time to figure out if you both want to be together forever, so go and wear a pretty dress and, most importantly, take lots of pictures.”
* * *
Two nights later, when Jace drove his truck through big gates that had opened like magic, Ava’s stomach tied itself up in knots again. The driveway was long and ended in a circle in front of a huge brick house. She’d seen the pictures in the magazine, of course, but it looked even bigger in person.
“I bet you’ll be glad to get out of this truck,” he said as he pulled up in front of the steps to the grand wraparound porch and killed the engine.
Ava laughed because of course she should be glad to get out of the truck after being in it all day. But she really wasn’t. She enjoyed the road trip, just like she’d enjoyed all the driving around on the back roads she and Jace had done when he got his license. They’d talked and listened to music—he said she had a lot of catching up to do on the current country offerings after what she’d been listening to—and laughed.
But now, as he unlocked the door and led her into a foyer that looked like something from a fancy hotel, she realized that while Jace seemed as though he was still just Jace back in Cottonwood Creek, he lived in an entirely different world now.
“Do you live here alone?” she asked as he showed her around a sleek, modern kitchen that might have been bigger than the café.
He laughed at her question. “Of course. People come in to clean and do the landscaping and stuff. And people are always in and out. The guys in my band are here a lot, of course. But I live here alone.”
She nodded, but said nothing else as he led her through a formal living room and into what would probably be called a family room if he had a family.
“Hey.” He stopped as they circled back to the grand staircase that rose in a twist from the foyer and pulled her into his arms. “It’s just a house.”
“This is not just a house.”
He sighed so deeply his chest pressed against hers. “It is just a house, Ava. It’s a damn nice one, but still just a house. It’s a lot for me, actually, but I bought it for the studio. The rest is just rooms I live in. Trust me, you being in this house right now is my favorite thing about it.”
“I like how you didn’t fill it with a bunch of fancy stuff. Even though it’s huge, it feels like it fits you somehow.”
“I told the designers to keep it simple. I think they did a good job of capturing the regular kind of guy I am.”
Ava laughed. “Designers?”
“Okay, so I’m not exactly the same regular kind of guy. But it’s just money. I’m still me.”
She sighed and tilted her head back. “Good, because I like you.”
“I like you, too.” He grinned. “You wanna see the upstairs now?”
“I bet you have one of those fancy mattresses now.”
“The bed I picked out for myself. It took me two days, but I stretched out on every mattress in every mattress store in this city until I found the perfect one.”
She didn’t think he was kidding, either. “Then by all means, let’s continue the tour.”
They spent the next two days in a bubble of happiness. He had to answer emails, phone calls and text messages on his phone a lot but other than that, all of his attention was on her. They made love. They ate good food. Watched some movies. Sang together in his studio. That one was hard for her, especially since Jace obviously had some trepidation, too.
“She was right about me not being good enough,” she finally said, after they finished singing a classic Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton duet that had been a crowd favorite back in the day.
“I love hearing you sing, Ava. You have a beautiful voice.”
“But I wouldn’t have made it here, and we both know it. I would have held you back.”
“We don’t both know it. You’re good and having you at my side wouldn’t have held me back. And regardless, that doesn’t make what I did the right choice.”
“That doesn’t make it the wrong choice, either,” she’d said, and then they’d been silent until he kissed her and played the opening bars of one of her favorite Reba songs on the guitar. She’d sung along and the moment had passed.
Standing at the top of the stairs on Saturday night, though, Ava pressed her hand to her stomach to try to calm her nerves and wished she were anywhere else.
This wasn’t a fancy hotel she and Jace were staying in. This was his life and pretty soon the house was going to be filled with a lot of strangers who were integral parts of that life she knew nothing about. She was afraid the only man she’d ever really loved was going to feel like a stranger to her and she wished they were back in her mobile home in Cottonwood Creek.
Jace chose that moment to walk by the bottom of the staircase, phone in hand, and he glanced up to see her standing there. He stopped in his tracks, never taking his eyes off her.
“You look stunning.”
She didn’t feel stunning, but she smiled anyway. She was wearing the only cocktail dress she owned. A little black number with a Christmas scarf she’d borrowed from Whitney and black strappy heels. Usually she felt like a million dollars in it, but she wasn’t sure how it would hold up when surrounded by people who actually had a million dollars.
“Must be nice to have jeans be the foundation of your professional appearance,” she teased, walking very carefully down the steps to join him. He was wearing a white button-up shirt, though, with the cuffs actually buttoned.
“All part of the image.” He kissed her, apparently not caring how much time she’d spent stressing over her makeup. “You can go put on jeans if you want. You can wear anything that makes you happy. Though, I have to admit, the sight of you in that dress is putting ideas in my head.”
“Then I’ll leave it on and you can share those ideas with me later, when I take it off.”
He hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her up hard against the length of his body. “Is it rude to be fashionably late to your own party?”
“Judging by the way you’re looking at me right now, I think you’d be later than could be considered fashionable.” She smiled and kissed him. “It’ll give you something to think about all night.”
“I won’t be thinking about anything else.” Somebody shouted his name from the area of the kitchen and Jace groaned. “I can’t wait until this thing is over and everybody leaves. Go ahead into the main living room and see what you think of the setup and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”
Feeling a lot better about the night ahead, Ava watched Jace walk away and then made her way to the formal living room that seemed to her to serve no purpose except to hold fancy furniture nobody ever sat on. Tonight, though, it looked like a holiday wonderland. The team of people who’d been in and out all day had done a wonderful job, and the white twinkle lights strung in sheets across the ceiling reflected off of silver ribbons and decorations, giving the room a magical glow. At the far end of the room, between two arched doorways, the biggest Christmas tree she’d ever seen sparkled in silver and white, and she smiled.
But as soon as she saw the woman standing next to the Christmas tree, Ava was jerked back to the night Carrie Bond had come into their lives and blown hers apart. They’d finished their set and were having a drink to celebrate a great show when Carrie pulled up a chair, sat down without invitation and introduced herself.
“I’m not going to sugarcoat things, kids. I never do. Ava, you’re a great bar act, but you won’t make it in Nashville. Jace, you’ll be a star.”
“We sing together,” Jace said, while Ava sat in stunned silence.
“You’re good together. But you’re better without her.”
Ava had waited for Jace to stand up. To thank the woman for her time or tell her to go to hell or something. Anything but sitting there, the struggle between his dreams and their dreams written all over his face.
“I can do both,” he said. “Doing a solo album doesn’t mean I can’t still sing with Ava.”
“I’ve been in this industry a long time and that’s not what will happen. First, you won’t have time for both. And you’ll start fighting. Ava will feel left out and you’ll feel guilty and everything will go to shit.”
Ava was still struggling to make sense of what was happening and couldn’t come up with words. And Carrie never stopped talking.
“And when the marketing team works its magic and the first video comes out and women all over the country want you, she’ll get possessive. And resentful. It’s hard enough on a relationship when success comes. Throw in your professional success and it goes sour fast. Then you’re off your game when you’re just getting started. Your music will suffer and you’ll both be back here, singing for rent money.”
“We’re a team,” Ava said finally, not wanting this woman to tear apart her future without a fight.
“No, you’re a couple. And I know it hurts to hear this. I do. But it’s business and my business is making my artists money. I could probably get the two of you some gigs together, but Jace alone, I can make millions.”
She’d written her cell number on a business card and handed it to Jace. Ava wanted to snatch it out of her hand, but Jace took it first. After looking at it for a few seconds, he slipped it in his pocket and Ava’s heart sank.
Two days passed and she thought maybe they were okay. He was quieter than usual—almost broody—but she gave him space to work through the regret at a lost opportunity like the one Carrie had offered up.
And then she came home from her shift at the pizza place she hated to find him sitting on the edge of their bed with a packed duffel bag at his feet.
“I’ve talked to Carrie Bond a couple of times,” he said, not able to meet her eyes. “I have to try, Ava.”
“After all this, you’re leaving me?”
“Just for a while,” he said. “Once I’m out there and things are rolling, I can prove to her I can handle a solo album and still sing with you. But she won’t sign me unless I’m dedicated to a solo career.”
That’s not what would happen. He’d get a taste of the life they’d dreamed of and never look back. “We can make it together. We’ll keep working hard and we’ll get our chance. Together.”
“This is my chance.”
Whitney had summed it up perfectly. He threw you away the first time some shiny bitch dangled a recording contract in front of him.
And now the shiny bitch turned her head, as though she felt Ava staring, and they made eye contact. Before she could look away, Carrie started moving toward her and Ava’s fight or flight reflex kicked in. She wasn’t running, so she took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile on her face.
“Ava. It’s good to see you again.”
Yeah, because it went so well last time. She waved a hand around the gorgeous room. “Congratulations on being right.”
Carrie’s mouth twisted in a wry smile. “Well, I was right about Jace being a star. I’m not so sure I was right about him being better off without you.”
“It’s a little late for that.”
“Obviously not, because here you are.” Jace’s manager gave her an appraising look. “You’re still as beautiful as I remember.”
Ava didn’t know what to say to that. She felt woefully inadequate and unsophisticated next to this woman and when she added in the fact she’d spent the last five and a half years hating her with a passion, she wasn’t sure she could make small talk.
She’d known Carrie would be here. Jace had made a point to mention it a few times, probably feeling her out. Ava had told herself—and him—that there was no reason she couldn’t make polite conversation with the woman for his sake, but she’d underestimated her reaction to seeing her face in person after all this time.
“Thank you” was all she said.
“Look, I know you probably don’t like me very much. In your position, I’d probably feel the same way. But I’ve never seen Jace as happy as I’ve seen him today and I want him to stay that w
ay. I’d like for us to be able to move past the business decisions we’ve made that hurt you personally.”
“I guess that’s an easy thing to say when you’re the one who gets to make the decisions.”
Carrie’s brow furrowed for a second before her smooth expression returned. “Jace makes his own decisions.”
Ouch. That was a direct hit.
“He’s made his own choices,” Carrie continued. “And as the woman who’s been by his side professionally for the last five and a half years, I can say with certainty there’s only one choice he’s ever regretted.”
I remember the taste of her lips, the sound of her voice,
And I know I made the wrong choice.
I just want to hold her again.
Ava’s throat was tight, but she nodded. “I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but we’ve been happy again. You can’t...”
She didn’t know what else she could say. She couldn’t articulate her fears enough to put them into words and she didn’t want to.
“I have no intention of doing anything to come between you,” Carrie said quickly. “Jace’s career is established, but he’s been missing something and that something is you. If you end up staying in Nashville, I want you to know I’ll do anything I can to help facilitate your transition. We both want Jace to be happy.”
Ava nodded, but as Carrie gave her what was probably meant to be a reassuring smile before walking away to meet a guest who’d just entered, she felt anything but reassured.
And as guests began arriving and she was introduced to friends and band members and a few country singers she would squeal about with her mom later, the vague discontent grew. Even with Jace at her side, laughing and talking as they mingled, Ava was only reassured of one thing.
This was Jace’s life. A life he’d made without her, and she didn’t belong here.
* * *
Something was wrong with Ava. All through the party, Jace was aware of the vibe she was putting off, and it didn’t feel right to him. She smiled and mingled alongside him, but the smile was on the dim side and he caught her giving him thoughtful looks throughout the night.