She's So Dead To Us

by Kieran Scott

  My blush deepened and I nodded. “Right. Carrie Ann Sullivan.” I swallowed hard, my brain full of thoughts of Ally. What would she think if she could hear this conversation? Probably that we were all disgusting pigs.

  “I don’t know, guys.” I looked down at my book and tried to concentrate.

  “Come on, man! If you don’t ask her, we don’t have dates,” Trevor said, bouncing up and down in his destroyed Chuck T’s.

  “Why won’t they go without her?” I asked.

  “Who knows?” Todd said, throwing up his arms. “Some stupid girl code? They’re like BFFs or something, and they all want to go.”

  “What’s tripping you up man? The big boobs or the hot legs? Why is this even an issue?” Trevor added.

  I took a deep breath. The thing was, it wasn’t like I could go to the prom with Ally.

  Whatever we were doing, we’d decided to keep it a secret. For a very good reason. But I couldn’t not go to the prom. Everyone was going. We were getting a limo together, and we were going to all drive down to Hammond’s house on LBI after. It was going to be sick. I couldn’t miss it. Ally couldn’t expect me to miss it. And if I couldn’t go with her, I didn’t really care who I went with.

  “All right, fine,” I said. “I’ll ask her.”

  “Yes!” the Idiot Twins cheered, chest-bumping each other. They turned toward me, thrusting their chests out again, but I shook my head.

  “No. I’m good.”

  “Thanks, man,” Trevor said, slapping me on the back. “You won’t regret it.”

  The bell rang, and I turned to walk into my English class, feeling tense and nervous and sick. I told myself it was just because I was about to fail my English test, but I knew that wasn’t it. Even though what I’d just promised to do made perfect sense, I had a feeling that Trevor was wrong. Somehow, I was going to regret it.

  jake

  I pulled my Jeep into the parking lot at the elementary school and took a spot at the back. There were a few other cars in the lot and at least twenty people playing touch football in the sun out on the Little League baseball field. I spotted Ally right away. She was laughing as she tried to tag Chad Lancaster, but he dodged her outstretched fingers and scored, spiking the ball near the backstop. All his friends gathered around him, cheering.

  What the hell was I doing here? These guys weren’t gonna want me here.

  I glanced at Ally again. She hadn’t seen me yet. I could just bail. Say something came up. Tell her I was having a psychotic break when I’d texted yes after she’d asked me if I wanted to come.

  What if my friends drove by and saw my car here?

  I gripped the steering wheel tightly, then got out of the Jeep. I was not going to let my friends dictate what I could and couldn’t do. Just being here didn’t automatically mean that me and Ally were a thing. I could have driven by, seen the game, and asked to join. Besides, Shannen hadn’t spoken to me since my birthday, and she was the one who would have given me the most shit if she saw me. Eff that.

  A couple of the guys spotted me as I walked over. Everyone stopped playing. Yeah. This was a mistake.

  “Jake! You came!” Ally shouted, her smile huge.

  Or maybe it wasn’t.

  She jogged forward and stopped in front of me. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  Was I supposed to kiss her? Hug her? I wanted to, but not with everyone staring at us like this.

  “Hey, guys. Jake’s on my team,” Ally said, turning to her friends.

  “What? No way,” Chad said, palming the ball.

  Here we go. Out with the Crestie.

  “You’ve already got twelve,” Jessica Landry said. “He’s on our team.”

  “But, dude, you have most of the guys,” Marshall Moss argued. He had dirt all up the side of his sweats and T-shirt. “Your team is stacked.”

  “What, like guys are somehow better at this?” Ally joked.

  “Uh, yeah,” Marshall joked back.

  She shoved him and he shoved her back, laughing. Okay, so they weren’t throwing me out, but I did not like this crap between Ally and Marshall.

  “I’m on Ally’s team. She invited me, so that’s where I’m going,” I said.

  “Whatever,” Chad said, tossing me the ball. “We’ll whoop your ass anyway.”

  “Yeah.” I laughed. “We’ll see.”

  Ally grinned as we took the field together. “You came,” she said again.

  “You thought I wouldn’t?” Now that I was here with her, the idea that I’d almost bailed seemed impossible.

  “No. I’m just glad you did.”

  I smiled back. I was glad too.

  So, Chad’s team did whoop our asses, but it was fun. An hour later we were all dirty and sweaty and clamoring for our Gatorades and Snapples. Ally and I dropped down onto the rickety wooden bleachers and leaned back on our elbows as a few of the other guys messed around on the old jungle gym.

  “Having fun?” Ally asked me, tilting her face toward the sun.

  “Yeah.” All I could think about was where we could go after this. Where could I take her in the middle of the day so that I could kiss her?

  “Apparently Cresties and Norms can get along,” she joked.

  I felt a twinge of apprehension in my chest and shifted my weight. Somehow this suddenly felt like a test. “Yeah. I guess so.”

  “Jake! Nice game.” Marshall walked over and slapped my hand.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “So, I heard you’re going to the prom with Carrie Ann Sullivan,” he said with a grin. “Nice.”

  I almost choked on my Gatorade.

  “What?” Ally blurted.

  I shot Marshall a look of serious, painful death. Ever so slowly, I capped my drink, put it down, and turned to look at Ally. My heart pretty much stopped. She looked like I’d just run over her mom with my Jeep. Crap. I already felt guilty for lying to her the other night when she’d brought up the Paddy B’s thing. Now this.

  “You asked someone to the prom?” she said.

  “Oh. Oops. Sorry, man,” Marshall said, backing off.

  Yeah, sure you are, buddy.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Ally asked.

  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” I said, getting up and tugging her away by her arm. She followed me over to a huge oak tree a few yards away from the bleachers. Ally leaned one hand against the trunk and looked down at the ground, kicking the dirt with her toe.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Are you serious?” she asked.

  “Ally, come on. It’s not like we could go to the prom together,” I said.

  “Right, because it’s okay for you to slum it with us Norms out here, but God forbid a Crestie take a Norm to the prom. The whole world might collapse in on itself,” she said sarcastically.

  “You know that’s not what I meant,” I said.

  She shook her head, staring past me. “I just can’t believe you’re going with someone else.”

  “What’d you want me to do, stay home?” I asked, my face screwing up in disbelief.

  “That’s what I’m doing,” she shot back.

  Oh. Shit. “Well, I can’t. Everyone’s going. And if I don’t go, it’s going to look—”

  “Who cares how it looks?” she demanded. Then she stared at her feet again. “Do you, like, like this girl?”

  “No. I don’t even know her,” I replied quickly. This had to get me some points. “I only asked her because the Idiot Twins wanted me to.”

  “So, you’re taking some sophomore you don’t even know to the prom,” she said flatly.

  God. I couldn’t get anything right in this conversation.

  “Why? Would it be better if I asked someone I already hooked up with?” I blurted.

  Ally’s jaw dropped. Yeah. That may have been the wrong thing to say.

  “I have to go,” she said, storming past me.

  Her pissed-off exit caught the attention of the guys, and some of
them shot me looks. Great. Just great. Now they were going to kick my ass.

  Ally grabbed her duffel bag from the bottom bleacher and speed walked toward the parking lot. Marshall took off at a jog after her, and I was left there facing Chad and the rest of the guys, who were all standing by the bleachers with their chins out like they were ready to rumble.

  “Chicks,” I said dismissively

  They didn’t laugh. It was time for me to go. Over in the parking lot, Ally got on her bike and took off. Then Marshall got on his and took off after her. What the hell was going on with those two?

  “Thanks for the game,” I said. “I’ll see you around.”

  Then I walked toward them, forcing a couple of them to move sideways so I could get through, just so they’d know I wasn’t intimidated. But the whole way to the car I kept waiting for one of them to jump me from behind or something. I didn’t breathe until I was safely inside my Jeep.

  “Dammit,” I said under my breath as I started the engine. I slammed the heel of my hand into the steering wheel and sat back, unable to get the picture of Ally’s hurt face out of my mind. I knew it was a bad idea, coming here. It had just turned out to be a bad idea for reasons I hadn’t even considered.

  ally

  Now that spring had officially sprung, I was on my bike every day after dinner, riding around town as the sun went down, enjoying the warmth. I felt like I’d been trapped in that teeny-tiny condo for months, and it was so good to get out and breathe. I loved the air this time of year, all moist and pungent with the scent of wet grass and new flowers and fresh mulch. Everywhere I rode people were mowing their lawns, landscaping crews were digging up old shrubs and putting in the new, kids were breaking out their baseball gloves and staging games in their yards. I couldn’t believe how fast the year had gone by. Couldn’t believe how differently it had turned out from how I had imagined.

  I popped the curb at the center of town and rode into Veterans’ Park by one of the side paths. Technically bikes and skateboards and scooters were not allowed in the park, but the rule was never really enforced unless there was a pack of kids ignoring it and making a lot of noise in the process. I rode over to the nearest bench and leaned my bike against the end. As I sat down to take a breather, the old-school gaslights that lined the path automatically flickered to life.

  What was I going to do about the prom?

  All I had to do was stop moving and the topic I’d been diligently avoiding popped into my head. I hadn’t talked to Jake since he’d told me—well, Marshall had told me—about Carrie Ann Sullivan. Hadn’t answered his texts or his calls. Had completely avoided him in the halls. Had even hidden from him in the stock room at CVS until Annie had buzzed me to tell me he had given up and gone home. For the past week it seemed like Jake and Carrie Ann were together everywhere, along with the Idiot Twins and their dates. And they were always giggling, flirting, making plans. It all made me want to throw something hard at them. It didn’t even matter which one of them it hit. I wanted all of them to suffer. By Friday Carrie Ann and her little friends were eating lunch with Jake and the Cresties at their table in the quad, and I had made one huge decision.

  I was going to that damn prom. And I was going to look hotter than Carrie Ann Sullivan could ever hope to look. And Jake was going to regret not asking me.

  All I needed was a date.

  I leaned back against the bench and shoved my sweaty hair behind my ears, my heart rate returning to normal. I was just about to get up and pedal home when Marshall rode his bike into the park from the far corner. I lifted a hand in a wave and sat back to wait. We’d bumped into each other a couple of times on our rides—usually he was on his way back from Chad’s or riding around with one of his friends—but this time he was alone and he didn’t look to be in a rush.

  “Hey, Ally. Thought you might be here,” he said, his bike chain clicking as he stopped in front of me. He was wearing a gray hoodie and blue basketball shorts, sweat beaded his hairline, and his cheeks were ruddy from exertion. “What’re you up to?”

  I narrowed my eyes as I looked up at him. The sky was turning pink overhead, and a few birds chirped in the flowering trees. The idea hit me in a rush. Marshall was cute. And nice. And definitely tall enough to not be dwarfed by me in the pictures.

  “Are you going to the prom?” I asked.

  He removed his hands from his handlebars and tucked then under his arms. “Um, yeah, I guess.”

  “Got a date?” I asked.

  “Nope.”

  “Anyone you’re dying to go with?” I asked.

  His brow knitted and he laughed. “Um, nope.”

  “Then, do you want to go together?” I asked. “As friends?”

  He looked down at me for a moment, considering. Not that I thought he would jump at the chance to squire me around in a tux or anything, but was it really that difficult a question?

  “You know what? Forget it,” I said, embarrassed. I got up and grabbed my bike. “It was a stupid idea.”

  His hand closed around my wrist. “No, wait. Sorry. I was just processing.” He released me and tucked his hands away again. “Sure. That sounds cool. Let’s . . . go to the prom.”

  “Yeah?” I said happily.

  “Yeah.”

  We grinned at one another as the sky rapidly darkened around us. “Cool.”

  Huh. That had been a lot easier than I’d thought. Just like that, I had a date. Not the one I wanted or the one I’d been daydreaming about. Not a romantic date, but a date. And it was going to be fun. Really. Lots and lots of fun.

  may

  Did you hear? Ally Ryan’s going to the prom with Marshall Moss.

  See, now, those two make sense. He’s cute, they’re

  both juniors and basketball gods. Sense.

  Please tell me you’re not still upset that Jake Graydon

  asked that sophomore.

  But she’s a total braindead! And she’s not even pretty.

  But she is known for her . . . talents.

  Come on. That cannot be the only reason he asked her.

  Why not? Does Jake Graydon have some hidden depths

  all of a sudden? He’s a slut, she’s a slut.

  That makes sense.

  I thought he was better than that. Wasn’t there some rumor that he and Ally were, like, a thing?

  Please. She is way too good for him.

  Seriously.

  If he’d gone there, I might have reconsidered

  the hidden depths.

  But he didn’t go there.

  No, he did not.

  And he didn’t go here either.

  No. He did not.

  Sigh.

  jake

  The prom was even lamer than predicted. The theme, first of all, was Twilight, voted on by the mousy losers on the prom committee who apparently thought they couldn’t get any unless they got it from a dead guy All the decorations were black and red. There were movie posters of some pale, scrawny dude staring out from every corner. The DJ sucked, the food was lame, and there were chaperones everywhere. Carrie Ann, who had practically jumped my bones when I’d asked her to come with me, had spent the entire preprom party at my house downing wine coolers after not eating all day so she could look hot in her dress—which she told everyone at the party. Now she was on the dance floor with her friends and the Idiot Twins while I sat at our table, watching. Good times. Meanwhile, Ally was here with Marshall Moss, who she was obviously going to hook up with later. They’d barely stopped touching each other all night. Even now, they were out in the middle of the dance floor dancing to some Black Eyed Peas song. No reason to be touching for a fast song, but they were. Holding hands while they bounced around with their friends.

  She looked happy. Which made me want to punch someone. Preferably Marshall Moss.

  “Hey, Jake! Having fun?” Chloe perched on the chair next to mine.

  Ally had just thrown her arm around Marshall’s neck. I tore my eyes away. Chloe looked at me knowin
gly. She was wearing a short white dress that was half-angelic, half-sexpot. Low cut, but not form fitting. I bet every guy in the room had thought about tearing it off once or twice. But that was the point of a dress like that, right?

  “You like her, don’t you?” she said.

  I swallowed, busted. My knee-jerk reaction was to deny, deny, deny, but then I decided, screw it. I was too pissed off to care anymore. “How’d you know?”

  Chloe shrugged and took a sip of her sparkling cider. “Shannen was babbling something about it a while back, but I didn’t believe her.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I just didn’t see you two together,” Chloe said, gazing past me at Ally. “I mean, I’d never seen you talk or anything, but then I guess you did do that detention together. Was that where it all happened? Like some kind of prison romance?” she joked.

  I laughed. Why was she being so cool about this when it had been drilled into my head over and over again that Ally was untouchable? “No. I don’t know when it happened. It’s not like it matters.”

  “Why not?” She took another sip of her drink, smiling at Hammond as he passed by with a couple of guys from the team. “Doesn’t she like you back?”

  There was an uncomfortable knot in my chest. “I don’t know. I thought she did. But now—”

  We both looked at the dance floor. “Marshall Moss? Oh, please,” she said. “Who would want Marshall Moss if she could have you?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s with you? I thought you hated her.”

  Chloe took a deep breath. She leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table, her posture as straight as ever. “The truth is, Jake, that was never me.”

  “What?”

  Chloe nibbled on a strawberry, then placed it down on her plate, her expression chagrined.