Disarmed by Love

by Gail Chianese

  “Oh.” Her shoulders dropped and she sagged against his chest. “You guys heard us, didn’t you?”

  He kissed the top of her head as he rubbed her back. “Apartment walls, love. Not the best for keeping secrets.”

  She groaned and pushed off of him to walk in and drop on the couch. Dante sat down next to her, both silent. He didn’t know what to say. Should he offer to leave?

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for either of you to hear, but he made me so mad. Dante.” She turned to him. “You know I don’t blame you for the accident, right?”

  “Yeah, but he had a point. I think I was responsible for causing it.”

  “That officer said the other guy was speeding.”

  He captured her hand before she could pull away and kissed her fingertips. “True, but last night I was going back over everything in my mind and… I don’t remember seeing him. If I checked the oncoming traffic like I should have, I would have seen him.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I think I zoned. It’s been happening a lot these past few weeks. I’ve been to the doctor twice in the last week alone trying to get these quirks under control. I should have known better. I never should have had Dylan in the car with me.” Fuck, maybe Rossi was right and he was a danger to everyone? What would be next? Not pay attention when they were in the pool? Start a kitchen fire?

  “What did the doctor say?” She linked her fingers with his and some of the anxiety that had been building started to fade. Such a simple gesture, but it told him she was with him. They were a team.

  He looked out the sliding doors. The sun had started to set, leaving wide swaths of dusty pink and purple in the sky. The trees swayed and he wondered if they’d get the thunderstorm the weather guy had promised. It was always a crapshoot with the forecast. They used science and technology to predict the weather and half the time they got it right. Sort of like doctors. All that science and technology at their fingertips and half the time they still didn’t know what the fuck was going on with their patients.

  “The scan came back good. Or rather it didn’t show any changes, no new deterioration since the last scan.” He huffed. “Basically he hasn’t a clue what’s going on. Said maybe work is too stressful. I’d use that excuse if it’d get Skip off my back, but I don’t feel stressed. I like teaching, now that they’ve assigned grammar to someone else.”

  “Is there another test they can run?” Her voice was filled with compassion and empathy.

  “I’m sure they’ll think of one. But we have more pressing concerns to deal with.”

  “More important than your brain?” She sat up and looked at him with disbelief.

  “Yeah, like your ex and his threat.” He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. What he was about to suggest was hard enough to do without touching her.

  “Ignore him. This is what he does, he doesn’t like something I do, so he gets all huffy and makes a scene to spin me up. A couple of days from now, he’ll have forgotten everything.”

  If it had been his kid in the car, Dante wouldn’t forget. Then again, if he had a kid he wouldn’t have ever walked away from him in the first place, not to mention cheated on Fiona and left her.

  “He said he’s going to file and take Dylan away.”

  She bit down on her nail, nibbling. “He’s all talk.”

  “Fiona, I can’t let you lose Dylan because of me.” He’d never be able to live with himself if he tore their family apart. Not that he believed a judge would take Dylan away from her. Spend five minutes in her company and anyone would see she’s a great mom.

  “I appreciate that, but no one is taking my son away from me. So whatever is going on in that head of yours, stop. All you’re going to do is piss me off and quite frankly, I’ve used up my share of mad tonight, and I don’t want our weekend ruined.”

  “You still want to go?”

  “Heck yes. Even more so now. We could all use some fun this weekend, plus, I’m not about to break my baby’s heart and telling him we’re cancelling. You?”

  “Nope, not me. I’m not into crushing kids’ dreams.”

  “Good.” She stood up. “Now, let’s eat. I’m starving and then I need to talk to Billy’s mom.”

  He laughed because when wasn’t she starving. He followed her into the kitchen where they dished up “Angry Pork” over rice while discussing how soon they could escape for their trip the next day. Their laughter and talk drew Dylan out of his room and soon they were all sitting down to eat like a normal family. A happy family.

  It felt so right, so normal to be there with them. He had no second thoughts, no question that he should be at the bar or hanging with his buds or with anyone else. It was like he’d spent his whole life looking for home and he’d finally found it in a pint-sized fireball and a walking Wikipedia. He wanted this, not just for the occasional night or a weekend, but every night. He wanted family dinners where they talked about their day, shared new things they’d learned, teased each other and laughed. He wanted quiet nights in front of the TV, or playing in the pool, or building Legos with his son. Or maybe someday with a daughter.

  He wanted a lifetime of feeling like he was right where he belonged.

  He wanted Fiona to spend that lifetime with him. He wanted to see Dylan grow up, learn to drive, go on a first date, graduate. He wanted more kids, if she did. He wanted to grow old with her by his side.

  Did she want the same thing?

  Neither had said the L-word. They hadn’t known each other long, a few weeks… no a couple of months. Enough time for him to know. Hell, his parents had dated for less time when they’d gotten married. His dad always said, when you knew, you knew, so why wait. Dante finally understood.

  He wanted to scoop Fiona up and tell her how he felt, but now wasn’t the time. Even though she swore her ex was bluffing, Dante didn’t feel the same way and if he had to walk to protect Fiona and Dylan, he would.

  Chapter 17

  Dante stood off to the side of the giant pool, his arm around Fiona still laughing as they waited for the boys to exit. They’d arrived midafternoon yesterday and had spent three hours in the water and all of them couldn’t wait to suit back up in the morning. They’d even talked Fiona into the trying the Double Barrel Drop.

  Screaming and giggling filled the air around them with everyone from kids to adults having a great time. They could hear the boys as they made their way down the slide. A few minutes later an inner tube came sailing out.

  “Cowabunga!” yelled Dylan.

  The boys hopped off and waded up the steps to meet them. “Can we go again?” Billy asked.

  “Race you,” Dylan yelled over his shoulder as he quickly walked back toward the line.

  Fiona laughed, her eyes sparkling. “You heard them.” Her smile could have lit up the darkest night of winter.

  Surprisingly the place wasn’t packed. Could be because it was summer and everyone else had flocked to the beach to enjoy the sunshine. This time the boys rode with them on the Cloverleaf. Much laughter and squeals followed.

  The four dragged themselves out of the water, all grins. “What’s next?”

  “Lunch?” Fiona asked.

  “Mom, we can eat later. I want to do the Hydro Plunge.”

  “Yeah. That looks killer,” Billy added.

  Fiona glanced over at the blue tubes, sucking in her bottom lip and biting down. “That’s the raft one that drops fifty feet, right?”

  “Yeah,” Dylan chuckled with excitement. “I can’t wait and then after we can do Alberta Falls. It’s four stories tall.”

  “Hmm. How about if you make this run a guys-only one?”

  “Come on, Mom. It’ll be fun. Fifty feet isn’t that long. It’s only like three cars.”

  Fiona bit down harder, shifting from foot to foot. She’d been a good sport but something about this
ride bothered her and he didn’t want to set her back.

  “Guys, let’s do the Plunge, then the Falls and then lunch. And maybe while we’re having fun, your mom can order us a couple of double cheese and pepperoni pizzas. By the time we get done they’ll be ready and we can get back to having fun quicker?” He looked from one eager face to the next.

  Both agreed and took off at pace just under a run so the lifeguards wouldn’t yell at them. Fiona kissed him and said thanks before walking toward their gear and the food court. He took a minute to enjoy the view as Fiona bent over to grab her wrap.

  “Dante, come on,” Dylan yelled.

  He hesitated when Fiona turned back to him, a smirk on her face and heat lighting up her eyes. It was a shame he hadn’t booked the bigger suite with the separate master bedroom, because he’d learned last night that both boys were sound sleepers who snored like bears. Reluctantly he turned away. There was something about the way she moved; he could watch her all day.

  But this weekend was about family time, even if they weren’t actually a family. It didn’t seem to bother Dylan that he was there instead of his dad. Granted they had Billy there as kind of a buffer. And had they been a real family Dante would have shared Fiona’s bed instead of a twin several inches too short for his tall frame.

  The boys struck up a conversation about which rides were the best with another boy their age waiting in line that had just arrived. It was interesting to watch Dylan. The kid wasn’t shy and seemed to get along with everyone, kind of like his mom. Which made Dante wonder what the deal was with this Chris character at day camp. Dylan had dropped bits and pieces during their swim sessions that hinted the situation went a little deeper than normal competition. Enough that Dante felt a discussion with Chris’s parents was in need, but he hadn’t wanted to overstep his bounds and tell Fiona what to do.

  She was a great mom and he trusted her instincts. It was his instincts he questioned and not just about the accident, but over his feelings toward Fiona and Dylan.

  “Nice boys you’ve got there,” the dad of the kid they’d befriended said to him.

  “Thanks. Yours, too.” He liked the guy and the fact he didn’t jump to the conclusion that neither were his boys. Dylan might have been able to pass as his natural son. They had the same dark brown hair and eyes, and both had the same skin tone thanks to their Italian and Mexican heritages. But Billy’s darker skin tone and features foretold of a different heritage. Not that any of it mattered. Both were great kids and he’d proudly claim them.

  “Is it just you and the boys or is their mom with you?”

  “She’s getting us pizza for lunch.” Dylan hadn’t missed a beat or corrected the guy.

  “Nice. That’s teamwork. It’s just Nate and me this weekend. Doing some guy bonding. Right, buddy?”

  “Sure, Dad. Hey, can I ride the raft with Dylan and Billy?”

  The dad looked to Dante, who shrugged. “Guess it’s just you and me then. Hope we don’t max the weight limit and bottom out.” He laughed as he placed his hands on his well-rounded belly.

  While they waited, Dante learned that Al had just separated from his wife.

  Their new friends, Nate and his dad, Al, hit the next ride together. As they parted for lunch, Nate called out for the boys to find him afterwards. Al might have been looking for some bonding time, but it didn’t appear that Nate was on the same page. The three of them grabbed their towels and found Fiona just as their number was called. The boys offered to get the food and he sat down next to her and stole a kiss.

  “How was it?”

  “Fun. The boys made a new friend so don’t be surprised when they ditch us after lunch.”

  “I’m surprised they haven’t ditched us already.”

  The boys returned with the pizzas, then ran back to get drinks for everyone. Over lunch they planned out the afternoon: more time in the water—they hadn’t hit every slide yet, plus the wave pool, then tonight after dinner they asked to go to the arcade. Tomorrow they wanted another shot at the ropes course, if that was okay.

  Not once did any of them bring up the fight between Fiona and her ex, although every now and then Dante caught Dylan looking at him funny. Almost as if the kid was wondering when he’d disappear. If everything went as Dante planned, that would be never. He had every intention of making this trial run the real deal as soon as he knew what his future held and if Rossi intended to go through with his threats.

  The boys ate an entire pizza plus part of a second one before declaring they were stuffed.

  “Can we go find Nate, Mom?” Dylan directed the question to Fiona but he looked back and forth, encompassing Dante in the decision.

  “Do you mind?” Fiona asked him.

  “Have fun. Hey, boys,” he called out as they started to race away. “We’ll be over in the lounge chairs by the kiddie pool.”

  It wasn’t up to him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one starting to think of them as a unit. The thought should scare the hell out of him and a few weeks ago it had. For so long he had avoided deep entanglements, preferring to keep his relationships light, fun, and short. In his job he never knew when he was going to ship out or for how long. Then there was the danger. He thrived on the thrill, fed his soul on the adrenaline, and didn’t worry about himself. If he went out, he did so doing what he loved and literally would with a bang.

  Not exactly a fair lifestyle for those left back home.

  It was hard enough on those who had signed on the dotted line. Saying good-bye sucked. Even more so when you didn’t know if it would be the last one. He’d heard grown men cry themselves to sleep at night over missing their wives, or kids, not to mention all the milestones. He’d seen a parent return and their child not recognize them.

  People made it work, lot of families toughed it out and their marriages were made stronger by the trials they went through. Kids learned to be resilient, to adapt, to say good-bye and make friends quickly. He didn’t begrudge any of them. He envied them, their strength, their willpower, their love.

  Fiona and he wandered around the rides, looking for the boys and spotting them in line for the Falls again, before taking two seats in front of the Cub Paw pool where the little ones were busy playing.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Fiona asked.

  He smiled, not ready to share what was on his mind. “You might want to save your pennies for the grocery bill.”

  “That was nothing. You should see when he hits a growing streak. I’m at the grocery store every other day.”

  “Wait until he hits the teen years. I’m pretty sure from the time George hit thirteen until Mateo went off to college my mom never left the kitchen. At least Tawny gave her a break because she spent more time at Cherry’s house than she did at home.”

  “Same with me and Risa.”

  “Come here.” He spread his legs and patted the space between for her to sit. He wanted to feel her in his arms.

  Quietly they watched the little guys. Dylan and Billy ran by with Nate at their side and a bedraggled Al trying to keep up as they went from one slide to the next and back again. One of the kids in front of them spun around on his “jet ski” and accidentally shot them with the water cannon. His mom yelled sorry and both he and Fiona laughed it off.

  “Do you miss it?”

  “What? The water?” she asked.

  He kissed the top of her shoulder at the base of her neck. “No, Dylan being that small.”

  She thought about it for a minute before answering. “Yes, and no. I miss being able to pick him up. He loved being held and sung to as a baby. I don’t miss diapers, although it wasn’t that bad. I’ve enjoyed every stage of his life, watching him grow and learn, seeing the kind of person he’s becoming.”

  “I bet he was inquisitive.”

  “Into everything and every word was ‘why?’” She leaned to the side and looked up at him.
“Are you okay? You seem a little melancholy.”

  “Curious and thinking I hear a hot tub calling our names.”

  The rest of the weekend flew by, with barely a minute to themselves. Al and Nate had attached themselves to their group, which cut down on the romantic moments, but the kids had a blast. Billy’s mom met them in the parking lot Sunday night to swoop her sleeping boy up and take him to bed after saying thanks. Dante scooped up Dylan and carried him into his room.

  He tucked the blankets around Dylan, and turned out the lights so the stars above glowed once more.

  “Dante,” Dylan murmured.

  “Yeah, Ace.”

  “Thank you. It was fun.”

  “It was. Maybe we can do it again sometime.” He brushed the hair off Dylan’s face.

  “Nate’s dad thought you were my dad. I didn’t mind.”

  Dante bent down and kissed the top of his head, Dylan’s eyes were closed and his breathing had already turned into the slow and steady rhythm of sleep. “Me either, Ace.”

  * * * *

  She was sitting on the couch when he walked out of her son’s room. A chilled bottle of wine and two glasses sat on the coffee table waiting. The whole scene felt domestic. Dad putting the son to bed, while Mom waited for their alone time. The whole weekend had held that vibe and she found she didn’t hate it at all. It was the complete opposite.

  They had crossed a milestone in the last couple of days, one that firmly moved them into new territory. But she felt they had skipped a step or fast-forwarded. Sort of like going straight for the home stretch without hitting the sagging middle. Fine with her, she was never huge on convention anyway. But was Dante?

  They’d had a great weekend, more fun than she had anticipated and more than she’d had in a long time. She was ready for whatever came next in their relationship, no holding back, no reservations. And after the last few days, it seemed like Dante was, too.

  Maybe I should ask, just lay it out on the line. Everything I’m thinking and feeling and see what he says?