Siren's Song

by Alexi Raymond

  Insecurities continued to rise inside of her. Why was he flirting with her? They want sales. I’m an easy target. “It’s really sweet to ask, but I don’t want to impose.” Desperate to get out of the situation and back to her comfort zone, Victoria slapped the front of her khakis and nodded to him. “So, Gabe, what can I get you?” It was killing her to turn him down, but it would hurt so much worse later on when he wasn’t the prince charming she had dreamed him to be. No, the smart thing was to walk away.

  She couldn’t stand the embarrassment of going back to the table and facing the men who were treating her like a public relation’s stunt. There was no way the two rockers really wanted some waitress hanging out with them on an afternoon off.

  One of the other girls gladly checked their drinks and food status until they were done and ready to go. Only then did Victoria find the strength to go to the table and clean up their dishes. Their dishes and Gabe remained at the table. He held her gaze, smiling, but said nothing. Ti was already walking away, looking over his shoulder and rolling his eyes. Definitely a publicity stunt. Disappointment weighed on her mind. She should have felt proud for standing up for herself and doing the right thing. Instead, she took their silence as confirmation of Todd’s warning.

  Remaining friendly and not running away with her head down was part of the job. Victoria took a deep breath and tried to smile, but even she felt it fall flat. “It was really great to meet you both. I’ll see ya at the Street Fest?”

  Gabe nodded and walked away, leaving Victoria alone and rejected. Let alone humiliated. At least they didn’t actually use me for PR or offer up autographs. Cups and plates slid across the table with the push of her rag, her usual carefulness not to damage the dishes gone in the heat of her wallowing. The napkins were crinkled, dirty and used, left to stick to the table if they weren’t picked up and put where they needed to be. She picked at the corner of one, a kinship to something she saw so regularly making her heart beat heavily in her chest. Victoria knew what it was like to feel used and stuck.

  Okay, seriously? Victoria’s inner voice rang out. She was being way too sappy about something that didn’t really matter. The napkin fell into the bin, a piece of it twirling off the bottom like a helicopter blade until it landed gently on the floor at her feet. From where she stood, she could see writing on it, small but legible. She picked it up, reading what it said.

  Of all the pain and sleepless nights, struggling to do what’s right…

  The writing struck her, lyrical and truthful, things she’d been feeling but was too afraid to write down herself. Victoria chose not to question it. If it had been meant for her to see, surely he would have given it to her or mentioned it. Nonetheless, she folded up the scrap of napkin and tucked it into the safest part of her apron.

  * * * *

  “Dude, you’re not that well-known, rejection is still a possibility,” Ti scoffed. But it wasn’t rejection Gabe had on his mind. Victoria’s eyes had sparkled, made her look so happy. She acted excited to be around them but embarrassed to know so much about him so openly. And yet it had all changed in the flash of an eye. Worry had taken over, and she’d all but disappeared. He thought back to the chats they’d shared, her insomnia and “boy problems”. He barely knew her, but the desire to see the excitement put back in her eyes consumed him. Whoever this boyfriend was, he was taking the fire out of her, and Gabe hated him for it. He found a beat on his legs as he pictured her. The tip of his tongue curled against the roof of his mouth, urgent to spit out the lyrics that were forming. The same words he had written for Victoria to find, words that described both of their lives.

  “Just get me back to the apartment. I’ve got work to do.” Gabe stared out the window, focusing on the way seeds fluttered in the breeze falling from their trees. Clouds passed overhead, misshaped piles of cotton against the blue of a sky not quite ready to see the storm he had twisting inside of him.

  Once upstairs and in his apartment again, his fingers flew across the keys. The glittering ideas and emotions he had seen around her earlier were still in his mind, but there was something small missing. Something pivotal. Frustrated, Gabe decided to take a break from the music. It was becoming all too easy for him to do. Losing the fight to log in and check the Banshee Exodus website, he clicked around threaded comments that showed numbered pages starting with his post about Street Fest and leading to more than forty comments in whole. Only a scattered few actually related to the band; the rest argued over the race car drivers that would be competing. Shaking his head, Gabe went to the chat room. His heart skittered at the usernames present. She was there. Even the digital reproduction of her stormy eyes assaulted him as if she were in the room, leaving him with the impression of an impending summer storm.

  WriterGuy: Hey, Siren! Good to see you again!

  SongSiren: Hey, Hey! What’s new on your side of the world?

  WriterGuy: Writing! Working on lyrics.

  The moment he hit Send, he realized the error of his ways. A website administrator might write songs, but he didn’t want any kinks in his story. After seeing her in person and thinking about her all day, there was very little he could do to make himself think straight. And, of course, he had to tell her who he really was…eventually. Especially if he were able to save the band and his passion for performing.

  WriterGuy: What are you doing?

  SongSiren: If I said working on lyrics would you consider me a copycat?

  WriterGuy: No! I’d be impressed! What’s it about?

  Chapter 5

  Victoria froze. She was writing lyrics of a sort, but it was more like her mind was actually computing the fact that she had taken a huge step in her life. She’d kicked out one of the constants in her life, even if he had kept her bound and upset. Not that her lyrics sounded terribly liberating. This administrator guy was used to real musicians. How could she tell him the lyrics she had? O-ver, Bo-ore, Sno-ore…she wasn’t even good at rhyming.

  SongSiren: Problems related to boys?

  WriterGuy: Ahh, does it rhyme?

  Victoria cracked up, uninhibited and free. So unlike the lie she had lived every day for well over a year. The guilt she felt for wanting to leave Todd had weighed her down, leaving her a candy-coated shell of who she wanted to be; strong, confident, independent. All of those things were completely abandoned in the name of Todd’s logic; she cowered behind his opinions and thoughts. But I’m free now. Trying to brush those thoughts aside, Victoria put her fingers to the keyboard and got back to the present.

  SongSiren: Haven’t gotten that far! I’ve got words like: wrong, unfair and leaving…what rhymes with that? Also, nothing rhymes with “over”.

  WriterGuy: Poor guy! He deserves this? I’ll think of words.

  Victoria let out a heavy sigh. Todd probably didn’t deserve her talking to some guy about their relationship issues.

  WriterGuy: Do anything cool today?

  SongSiren: Yes. I met Gabe and Ti!

  WriterGuy: No kidding? How weird! Were they nice to you?

  SongSiren: Totally! They invited me to sit with them, but I couldn’t.

  WriterGuy: What! Bogus! Why couldn’t you?

  SongSiren: They couldn’t have meant it! They were just being sweet. Still, Lord knows I’ll be talking in my sleep about it! At least I don’t have to be terrified the ex will hear what I have to say!

  WriterGuy: What? No way. The guys wouldn’t have offered otherwise! You should start your lyrics with “talking in my sleep!” Not sure where you could go from there, but it’s a start.

  SongSiren: Good job! I’ll have to work on it! Anyway, I’m early at work tomorrow so I’m off to bed!

  WriterGuy: I’d say sweet dreams, but I think you’re headed there anyway!

  SongSiren: No comment!

  Victoria lay down with a smile on her face, nestling into her blankets. She dared to fantasize about seeing Gabe again. WriterGuy knew him, and even he had said it wasn’t PR. Her heart beat heavily at the thought of
Gabe’s light blue eyes peering into hers as she walked up to him, strong arms reaching out to hug her. She could almost smell his cologne through her daydream after only smelling it on him once. It was crisp and manly, as if he’d found a way to bottle testosterone and sex. Only, how crisp would that smell? She laughed into her pillow and felt her heart long to be desired. Even in her mind, his kiss inspired her to hope as his music had always inspired her to be strong. If she ever had the chance to press her body against his, to feel his lips on hers, she’d stay in his arms and let him command her with his body. If the way he sang was any indication, Victoria felt thrilled to think of all the passion and strength he could bring into a bedroom.

  * * * *

  The silence around her as she woke was almost scary. Instead of being refreshed and ready to start a new day on a new, positive note, Victoria found herself mildly depressed. The quiet was eating at her. There would be no small talk, no whispered good nights, no one to check in with anymore. And beyond that, she knew the walk to work would drive her crazy. But there was no alternative. She had no car and couldn’t afford a taxi to work every day.

  With a huff, Victoria plugged her headphones into place and turned up her Banshee Exodus playlist. She walked down the stairs and into the sun. Heavy beats of music kept her feet moving. Gabe’s crooning cut through her fears and allowed her to really think about what she was gaining in the situation. By the time she was only a few blocks away from work, Victoria was feeling confident in her decision, resigned to not over-think it again, when she noticed a man leaning against a parking meter on the far side of the block from the restaurant. During lunch or dinner, it wouldn’t be too big of a deal, but at this time of morning, there was never anyone outside. Living close enough to the city, her neighborhood occasionally picked up some of the riffraff that came with all big cities. She’d become savvy to the dangers of people around her, and she glanced behind her, aware there could be a robbery scam set up, but no one was there. The closer she got, the more she recognized the cut of muscle under the sleeve of his shirt and the curls of blond atop his head. “Gabe?”

  The sun had nothing on the light coming off his teeth when he smiled. She pulled the headphones from her ears and covered her hands over her chest, afraid he’d be able to see her heart beating.

  His blond curls glistened, and biceps bulged under the sleeves of a hot pink tee. Her steps slowed to a stop in front of him, and she watched the way the morning light bounced off him, making him bigger and even more gorgeous than she’d thought he looked under the spotlight.

  “I realized last night that you know more about me than I know about you.”

  It wasn’t just his stardom that had her captivated, it was his eyes so focused on her alone and the way his voice gave way to genuine intrigue. Was it even possible?

  “That would be because people aren’t demanding to see or hear me.” She glanced at the restaurant’s building in the distance and then looked back to him. “Unless, are you waiting for me?”

  The low hum of an engine paused next to them, and Victoria tore her gaze from Gabe to find Todd in the driver’s seat, staring at her.

  “Victoria! What are you doing? Is everything okay?” Todd yelled through the passenger side window, his gaze focused not on her but on her companion. He scowled, though his words were laced with phony concern.

  The act her ex was putting on gave her pause. “Yeah, I’m good.” The hesitation in her voice came out as a question, but Victoria had no doubts—she wanted to be back in the moment she was having with Gabe.

  Finally looking at her, she could see his teeth gritting together. “I could drive you, you know.” Todd shook his head in the direction of Gabe.

  Yeah, he always decided to be attentive if she got notice from anyone else. It was part of the reason she had no friends outside of work and hadn’t spoken to a guy as a friend since they’d started dating. Still, not wanting to intentionally hurt him, Victoria pressed out a small smile. “Thanks, but I’m good. Really, I think I can manage to walk the rest of the way.”

  She could see the same anger, and blood, rushing to his head as when she’d asked for the break just a day ago. Her mind flashed back to that day, the dangling beer-opener keychain close enough in its journey past her that it made a high-pitched whizz in her ear. She’d reached up, wiping at her ear involuntarily as she relived the situation. Todd sped off and left her alone with Gabe without so much as a good-bye or a wave. Hurting him wasn’t in the plan, but he sure as hell was pissed. She almost felt guilty about it. The dense feeling of dread rushed over her in a crashing wave, but she fought it off with the memories of sleepless nights she’d spent crying in bed longing for passion while he snored away next to her. Uncaring of her needs.

  “I’m sorry, Tori. I didn’t mean to—”

  Victoria cut him off. At first stunned at the way he so casually gave her a nickname, but even more so that for once she didn’t mind it. No one called her anything but Victoria. Well, except Todd. He’d called her Vicky. She shuddered. “No, it’s more than your presence. He didn’t even put together who you are, he just saw a guy.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t seem to make whoever that was very happy.”

  “You couldn’t make it worse. It’s over.” Victoria shook her phone lightly, letting the headphones dangle. “Ugh, wow. I really told you that, huh. Hi, stranger! Here are the problems in my world!” She mimicked herself, a nervous habit that equaled chewing her nails. Gabe’s muscular body turned toward her, the sun glowing behind him, lighting him on fire. His hand extended to her, warming the skin of her forearm and making her stomach flip.

  “I’m not a stranger, you know my food allergies.”

  Victoria laughed, the lightness in his tone helping to lighten her own mood. “Well, I have no food allergies. I struggle with rhyming, and I’ve been talking to your website’s administrator a lot lately.” She rattled off the facts like they were common sense, which she learned they were when his strong jaw came closer to hers, his head cocked to whisper in her ear.

  “I know.”

  His declaration sent shivers down her spine. “You know? How?”

  “If I told you we were close, would that suffice?”

  “For now.” She smiled smugly and turned away from him to continue walking. He knew. So it sort of was a PR thing. WriterGuy must have told him how excited I was to see him and now, poof! Here he is.

  Gabe walked her up to the doors of the restaurant. “This is you.” He held the door open for her to enter. She paused under his arm, tempted to push herself against him and feel the muscles of his arms tighten around her, but forced herself to continue through. It’d be wrong to do anything else. Talk about taking PR too far.

  Or worse, he could have rejected her move altogether. “You’re a real piece, you know it? You’re happy in this relationship, just hungry or hormonal or some shit.” Shivers raced over her arms and down her spine. Hormonal. Gabe definitely did bring out that side of her. It would work even better if she could keep Todd out of her head.

  *

  Gabe hesitated to leave. He hated not telling her he was WriterGuy. It went against every code of morals and ethics he could think of, but she was in such a delicate spot. Painful memories hid behind her eyes. If they kept bumping into each other, and he was sure they would, he’d tell her for sure. He’d thrown a celebratory fist in the air and sailed halfway across his tiny studio apartment in his rolling chair the night before when she’d disclosed the tidbit about talking in her sleep. For the life of him, he didn’t know why it meant so much to him that she might want him, but it did.

  He’d put himself on her path this time, and he was sure he’d do it again. There were only residences in one direction to and from the restaurant, and he’d paced the road for an hour watching walkers, joggers, and cars go by before finally settling in a spot close to the restaurant. A path of lies, a voice inside him yelled back. Promising the angel on his shoulder he would tell her soon, he let the doo
r close in front of him, watching her disappear into the restaurant while he remained outside.

  After a long walk and a quick taxi ride, Gabe settled in with his guitar and a notebook on his bed. There was a song aching to come out of him, and he was going to push it out today. He couldn’t stop thinking about Victoria’s eyes, the way they looked like the sky right before a storm. If only her rain would pour down on him, soak through his clothes. He wanted to drown in the sea that was her kisses and feel the waves of her breasts against him.

  Her username wasn’t a joke, she really was a siren; it hadn’t taken long for her to completely wreck him.

  Your siren’s song, it sang to me, you called my name, now watch me bleed. I’m crashed on your rocks, there’s only you to blame. You have the eyes of a summer sky threatening to break. Drown me in your rains. You’re what I want but cannot have, a mirage of a goddess that will not fade. Thunder, war, there is no more hope for me to save. You’ve wrecked me, my goddess, my muse, my life will never be the same.

  Gabe’s pen scratched furiously against the notepad, scribbling the thoughts as they came. He looked them over. They were a little corny and unlike what the band usually sang, but he could make it work. The guys wanted a new song, and they would get one. It wasn’t like he could get through the day not thinking about her. Something else was happening too. Gabe was excited to perform this song. He was driven to get it done and make it the best yet. Maybe his days with the band weren’t limited after all.

  Fifteen minutes later, Ti walked through the door. “All right, what’s going on?”

  Gabe smiled and held out the lyrics. The expression on Ti’s face while he read didn’t show confidence. “You’re serious?” He put the papers down on the music stand in front of his drum set and shook his head. “I guess this is my fault. I took you out for lunch.”