Indestructible Desire

by Danielle Jamie

  She couldn’t believe it and said she new it had to have been something major for him and his father to go six years without speaking. We both can’t believe something that big didn’t get out to the press. I guess money can keep people quiet. I can’t even begin to fathom the pain Kayden went through. He goes from losing his sister, to discovering his father was having an affair with his girlfriend all in a matter of a few days.

  In an attempt to distract me, Brooklyn called Mya and planned a girl’s day for us today. We’re all going to meet up at the country club for brunch and tennis. She said we’ll be playing doubles, me and Brooklyn against her and her friend Kylee, who’s in town for the week visiting family.

  Today will be the first time I’ve done any kind of sports activity since my accident three weeks ago. Of course, it won’t be an all girls afternoon for us, because I’ll have Jerome and Alec coming along with us. I pray the police finally catch Zak. Then I can move on with my life, and not be afraid that he’s lurking around every corner. Just waiting to attack, and shatter whatever life I’ve pieced back together.

  Typing the last line in the article I’m writing for Envy’s March issue. I close my laptop, and head upstairs to get ready. After showering, and putting on my new white and pink Nike racer back tank, and white pleated skirt. Slipping on my white Nike tennis sneakers, I head downstairs to grab a racket from Kayden’s collection. All my stuff is still in Galveston. I miss my beach house, but still to scared to go back there.

  With my water bottle and racket in hand, I bounce down the stairs to find Brooklyn leaning against the wall chipping off her nail polish. “You do know that’s what they make nail polish remover for, you ding bat.” I laugh.

  “Ha, ha. Yes I do know that, Queen Savannah.” Rolling her eyes she playfully shoves me towards the door. “Its about time your bossy little ass got down here, I was ready to go up there and drag you out to the car myself.”

  “Sorry, some of us have to work for a living.” I say sticking my tongue out at her as we make our way to Jerome, and Alec waiting for us beside Kayden’s black Audi Q7.

  “Your boyfriend is a billionaire Savannah; you’re far from having to work for a living.” Brooklyn says dramatically with air quotes.

  Sliding across the back seat, I stare at Brooklyn with my mind agape. “I will make my own money, even if we down the road get married Brooklyn.”

  Tipping her head back letting out a throaty laugh, she looks at me like I have five heads. “Chill out girly! I’m just yankin’ your chain!”

  An hour later, we finally pulled up outside of the country club. With its rolling green hills of the golf course, and golf carts everywhere. You’d never know you’re at one of the largest cities in the United States. Getting out, Jerome opens the car door for Brooklyn and I. Barley getting my feet planted onto the ground, I’m mauled by an overly excited Mya.

  Her black hair is smoothed back in a tight pony tail. She looks like she just stepped off a runway of tennis fashion with a white and baby blue polo tank top, and baby blue pleated skirt. Her white shoes are blinged out with rhinestone detailing on the sides with the baby phat kitty logo.

  Within seconds a petite blonde makes her way over to us. She’s about the same height as me, and stunning. When I asked Kayden if he knew her, he said she was married to his old college buddy Ryder Kent. But they now live in San Diego, California. Their family still resides here in Houston, and she usually flies into the Hobby a few times a year, to visit them along with their daughter Evelyn. He said Ryder doesn’t speak to his parents, so hasn’t been back to Texas in years.

  Kayden told me him and Ryder became good friends in College, because Ryder was the quarterback when he first started playing football at The University of Texas. He mentored Kayden, teaching him everything he knows. After Ryder and Braxton got drafted into the NFL, they kept in touch, but after his career ending injury, he moved away to San Diego.

  Kayden says they still try to keep in touch with Facebook, and facetime, just with his busy schedule it‘s hard. He should really make an effort to fly to San Diego and visit. He mentioned if he ever gets married Ryder will be a groomsman. Hearing Kayden mention marriage, instantly made my mind move into over drive. I can’t wait for the day I can say I’m Mrs. Kayden Knox.

  After a quick introduction, we make our way towards the tennis courts. It’s a warm sunny day for being the last week of January. I was apprehensive about playing today, afraid I’d hurt my ribs. But I’m actually pretty shocked at how great I feel. I took two aspirins before we left, just in case, but I feel actually really good. I’m hoping in the next few weeks to get back to my kick boxing class.

  “Oh my Gawd, I’m so outta shape!” I saw gasping for air, as we make our way inside the country club’s restaurant.

  Bursting into a fit of laughter, Mya looks me up and down. “Girl seeing you right now, I’d think you just ran a triathlon, instead of playing tennis for an hour.”

  “Laugh it up; once I am back in shape, I’m going to redeem myself!”

  Brooklyn stepping up beside me bumps me with her hip. “We definitely need to redeem ourselves, because we looked pathetic out there.”

  After being seated, Mya starts digging in her purse, eyeing us all at the table. “Will ya’ll stop staring at me.” She laughs setting her purse back onto the floor. “I’m trying to get my surprise out without ya’ll seein’ it!”

  Leaning in closer to Mya, Kylee tries to sneak a peak at whatever Mya has hidden in her hand. “A surprise, spill it girlfriend! Whatcha got hidden in that pretty little manicured hand of yours?”

  After momentarily hiding her hands underneath the white linen table cloth, Mya waves her hand around in the air. Practically blinding us all with the massive rock on her left ring finger. “Mhm, he liked it, so he put a ring on ladies!” She shouts, with her excitement bubbling out of her.

  “Holy. Mother. Of all fuckin’ diamonds! Damn girl, you’re going to need to start working out. If you plan on wearing that sucker all the time!” Brooklyn says jumping out of her seat, and grabbing Mya’s hand to inspect the massive princess cut Harry Winston.

  I can’t help but wonder what kind of ring Kayden will get for me, when the day finally comes that he proposes to me? Pushing my thoughts of weddings and rings into the back of my mind, I congratulate Mya. We spend the next two hours eating and learning how he proposed to her after a romantic evening at their house. I couldn’t help but tear up, I’ve grown to cherish our friendship and I’m ecstatic for her and Braxton.

  ***

  Pulling up to Mark’s American Cuisine restaurant, I’m bursting with excitement to see my parents. I’ve video chatted, and talked on the phone with them over the last several weeks. But it’s just isn’t the same as seeing them in person. While they’re not on the road, I get to see them whenever I want, and at times dreaded our weekly dinners. When Brooklyn and I would much rather get a head start on our weekend fun. But now since they’ve been on tour and I’ve been living in Texas, I miss that time together.

  “You look absolutely breathtaking tonight Savannah.” Kayden whispers into my ear as we make our way into the restaurant. His warm breath misting my ear instantly gives me goose bumps. Resting his hand on the small of my back, we make our way to our reserved table. My parents are already seated, and looking over the menu.

  Standing to great us, my mom and dad take turns pulling me in for hugs, taking extra care not to squeeze me to tight. My mom quickly pulls Kayden in for a hug, followed by a handshake and man hug with my father. I can’t help but smile seeing the man I love, with my parents who are my entire world.

  Sipping on a glass of white wine, I gaze over the menu trying to decide what I would like, but continuously becoming distracted thanks to Kayden. He has his hand resting on my thigh, and keeps gently squeezing it, then flashing the Cheshire cat grin at me. I quickly mouth, “You’re insatiable.” letting out a small giggle before drawing my eyes back over the massive list of food.

&
nbsp; After placing our orders and getting our salads and appetizers, my parent’s waste no time jumping straight to point. “So any update on Zak?” My father asks, eyeing Kayden and I. I know it’s eating away at him, being on the road instead of here helping take care of me until Zak is found.

  Clearing his throat, and taking a long pull from his beer. Kayden takes the lead and answers for me. Which I’m more then happy about; the last thing I want to do is talk about any of this. My nightmares are slowly getting better. I’m still having them a few nights a week, but they’re no longer an every night occurrence.

  “They’ve been no updates so far. Which is driving me insane. How the hell does someone disappear without a trace? I hate living everyday looking over my shoulder. I want Savannah to be able to live her life free from fear. If he’s smart he ran to Mexico, because if I find him, he’ll end up six feet under, not behind bars.”

  Coughing, I choke on my wine. I can’t believe Kayden just said that out loud. I don’t for a second take his statement lightly. I don’t doubt for a moment that he’d kill Zak if he got his hands on Zak. “Let’s not say that for the world to hear okay baby.” I say staring at him with so much intensity, I feel my eyes burning, screaming at me to blink.

  My mother backs me up immediately, “Yes. Let’s not say those things out loud. Don’t get me wrong I would throw a freakin’ party if that S.O.B. was dead. But not at the expense of you going to jail for it Kayden.”

  Thankfully the remainder of our dinner went by with lighter topics of discussion. My parents told us about all the cities they’ve been to so far for their tour. We discussed my birthday, since February ninth is quickly approaching. Kayden is planning a party in Hawaii, with close friends and family. I can’t wait; it’s hard to believe I’ll be turning twenty five.

  Before leaving my dad and Kayden discuss plans of golfing tomorrow at Kayden’s house. He said they have some things to discuss of great importance, which instantly got me intrigued. I can’t wait to see what Kayden gets me for my birthday. It will be nice having everyone I care about with me to celebrate.

  ***

  Chapter Fifteen

  ***

  It was hard saying goodbye to my parents, but knowing I’ll see them in two weeks made it a little easier. Also the stack of work I had was an easy distraction. Being back to work feels amazing, and its help distract me from the whole Zak situation. Since we’re having the Envy party this weekend at Vertigo in Los Angeles, Eloise told me not to fly into LA until Friday. So I only had two sessions with Dr. Wilcott this week.

  I still have a lot of anxiety about going out in public, or around people who are not family, or close friends. I’m a nervous wreck about attending the party in my honor this Saturday. All I can think about is everyone looking at me, and thinking there’s the girl who shot and killed someone, and look she’s here partying while his family’s is planning a funeral.

  The detective working on the case informed me that they’ll be keeping a close eye on guest attending the funeral this weekend. He said maybe Zak will surface for it. The funeral just so happens to fall on the same day as my party celebrating my February covers issue.

  I don’t feel right celebrating when I have so much guilt weighing me down. I shot a person…took his life. Someone I cared about, even with his bad intentions. I know deep down he was a good person, Zak too. They just in a time of need chose the wrong path to try and fix their financial issues.

  To make matters worse, Kayden has been distant all week, he just seems like his head is somewhere else. I’m not sure if dredging up the past has caused him to go into a dark place. I don’t know if it’s bringing up all the pain caused from his father and Luanne’s betrayal.

  I still can’t believe they did that to him. Kayden’s the most loving, caring, and sexiest man on the planet. She had him, all of him, being cheated on his hard enough, but to find out your fiancée was sleeping with your father. That’s just unfathomable; I don’t think I’d ever get over that. I just understand how a father could do that to his son.

  Then there’s the pain he carries around with him from losing his sister. He doesn’t really talk about her much, I don’t know if it makes it easier to cope with his loss. I’m afraid ripping open all of his old wounds, especially all at once. Was maybe more then he could handle right now, given everything we’ve been going through since I almost died. It’s overwhelming for me just processing it all! I can’t even begin to understand how Kayden must be feeling. All I can do now is show him that no matter what, I’ll be by his side, just as he’s been beside mine.

  ***

  Walking into the salon and being pulled into Quinn’s arms feels almost surreal. Thinking back to the last time I stepped foot in here instantly makes me feel nauseas. The day of the masquerade ball started out as the happiest day of my life, and then swiftly turned into one of the worst nights of my life. Thinking back now, I feel Logan did me a favor cheating on me. If I hadn’t caught him that night, my life would be completely different right now. Just the thought of not being with Kayden seems unimaginable. Being with him just feels right, as if he’s the missing piece to my puzzle.

  I strongly believe God does everything for a reason, we may not understand why he puts us through some of the shit that he does, but each struggle makes us stronger. Losing Logan was just a stepping stone leading me towards my future with Kayden, my soul mate.

  Quinn snaps me back to reality with an over zealous hug, “Look at you Miss Thang! You’re flaunting a fabulous tan! Okay spill it baby girl, where did that sexy piece of man candy take you? Because this is definitely not a tanning bed tan.” Quinn asks as his eyes slide up and down my body.

  Laughing, I stare into Quinn’s dark chocolate eyes and long thick eyelashes. His beyond perfect milk chocolate skin is flawless. Quinn’s black hair cut is short, and all the attention is drawn straight to his rockin’ pair of rhinestone hoop earrings. He’s as stunning as ever, in his black skinny jeans, tight red v-neck t-shirt , and leopard flats.

  “We just got back from a weekend trip to the Bahamas’ last weekend. It was a much needed escape, from all the craziness we‘ve been dealing with back in Houston.”

  Pursing his lips, Quinn takes my hand, and leads me over to his salon chair. “Damn girl, I need to go to Texas and find me a sugar daddy. I can hear the Bahamas’ calling my name! Now sit, let me look at your hair.” Doing as told I jump into the salon chair, and watch Quinn as he runs his fingers through my long blonde hair. “That salon I sent you to in Houston, they’ve been doing a fabulous job on your hair. But” He says popping his lips dramatically in his infamous valley girl tone. “Nothing compare’s to when I work my magic!”

  I can’t stop smiling as I watch Quinn in the mirror work his magical fingers through my hair. This man was gifted; he can turn this wavy mess on my head into a runway look in no time.

  Just as Quinn’s rinsing my hair, I hear Brooklyn make her presence known as she enters the salon. Bursting into the place a ball of excitement. She shouts over at us as she makes her way across the salon. “Sorry I’m late, I was at an audition, fingers crossed I get it!”

  “Girl! I’m crossing my fingers and toes. One day you’ll be walking the red carpet with sexier than sin, Denzel Washington! For one of those big box office movies.” Quinn says, as he motion’s for one of his hair stylists to get to work on Brooklyn’s.

  Flicking through an Us Weekly magazine, she looks up at Quinn with a goofy grin plastered across her face. “From your mouth to God’s ears Quinn!”

  ***

  Standing at the bar with Brooklyn waiting for our drinks, I spot Reagan and Rebecca making their way towards us. The club is packed with our friends and co-workers, and a ton of people I‘ve never met before. Eloise definitely went all out tonight. I now understand how embarrassed Kayden was at his party, as I stare at the poster size picture of my Envy Cover. It’s so weird being on the other side; usually my name is on the inside for an article I wrote. It’s surre
al seeing my name in bold print across the front of the issue.

  Seeing it, reminds me that Logan is still in L.A. filming that freakin’ reality show. I’m dreading when that comes out on television. Grabbing my Whiskey sour off of the bar, I sip on it slowly as I scan the room trying to find Kayden. He’s been off mingling with everyone. LA is like a second home to him since he flies out here for work, so he knows pretty much anyone and everyone.

  Finally making it to the bar, Reagan yells over to the bartender to get him a Budweiser and a Vodka cranberry for Rebecca. “Is this place packed or what!? Reagan asks taking a seat at the bar beside me.

  Rebecca pulls me in for a small hug before I can answer. It feels great being around them again. They’re both like family to me, especially Reagan. He’s like the big brother I never had. Smiling at him with my straw still in my mouth, I lean forward to answer him. It’s so loud in here you can’t speak without shouting to the other person.

  “Yeah, I can’t believe all these people are here. I can’t help but wonder are they here for the party or for me.” I let out a nervous laugh; I can’t help but feel everyone’s eyes are on me. The only way I’m getting through tonight without running away screaming is to keep the alcohol flowing.