To The Woman He Loves

by Theresa Hodge

  I laughed, loving the sound of his name on my lips.

  Chapter 3

  Ronan

  The very first day she walked her mocha brown sweetness into my office, I fell for Ruby…hard. My brain held my body at bay, until the night I took her out to Calabre’s Bistro. We laughed and talked until it was time for the place to close down. Even as the workers finished cleaning the building and were ready to leave, I didn’t want our date to end.

  I courted her the next few months, sending her flowers and taking her on romantic dates. I had the intensity of a white knight wooing his African American queen. It was like a dream come true to have a down-to-earth, hardworking woman like Ruby to spend my time with. In my circles, I ran across some very superficial people.

  Ruby reminded me a lot of my grandma. She was a regal, virtuous woman who bestowed me with genuine love.

  Hiding our feelings at work became impossible after the first time I made love to her. We’d been dating officially three months, when I picked her up for an outdoor concert at Bayfront Park Amphitheatre. It was a hot summer evening. I rummaged through grandma’s old things and found a rustic picnic basket. I packed us a lunch that included an expensive bottle of chilled wine.

  I fed Ruby seductively as we sat on a blanket on the soft grass underneath the stars. She sucked my fingers into her mouth as we gazed into each other’s eyes. I wanted to eat her alive.

  The way she surrendered to me, along with the blues and soul music and fruity wine, lured me deeper under her spell. That night under the stars, we sealed our love and devotion with a kiss. I kissed her soft lips and held her close for the entire concert.

  When we got back to her apartment at the end of our date, we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. After spending my adult life daring to fall in love, all I wanted to do was make sweet love to Ruby.

  I laid her down on her bed and slowly stripped her clothes from her body. Before removing my clothes and showing her the ways of my love, I slowly kissed my way ever so gently up and down her entire body. Slow was how I wanted to take her. Each everlasting moment was to be savored.

  Her eyes widened in surprise when I removed my briefs. Before I could read her, she looked away from me. I reunited us with my tongue making its way from her neck to her lips. “What was that look for?” I asked, as I kissed the corners of her lips.

  “Ronan, there’s something I have to tell you.”

  I kissed her lips again and asked, “What is it?” My voice had become deep and laced with drunken desire.

  “I’m still…”

  “Are you not ready for this, Ruby? Do you want me to stop?” I asked as I rolled over into the space beside her on the bed.

  “No, I don’t want you to stop. It’s just that…well, I’m a virgin,” she said, her body tensing as she spoke.

  “You’re a what?”

  “Yes, I’m a virgin.” She nodded her head.

  “How old are you, Ruby?”

  “Twenty four, just like I told you already,” she said, taking a defensive tone.

  “You’re only five years younger than me. I assumed you were experienced.”

  She crossed her arms across her chest. “If you’re looking for an experienced woman, Ronan, then you’re in the wrong place,” she said as she attempted to move from the bed.

  “Ruby, you’re the one for me. I just didn’t know this was your first time. Your first time should be special. I mean, we can wait,” I said, although my body was unwavering and anxious to cover hers like a blanket.

  She climbed on top of me and kissed my lips. Her hot, minty breath brushed against the skin of my face as she said, “You being my first and my forever would be special. The question is can you be that for me, Ronan?”

  Flipping her onto her back, I riddled her lips with an onslaught of rough kisses. I sheathed myself with a lamb skin condom to protect her before entering her sweet center ever so gently.

  “I can be that for you, my sweet Ruby,” I said, taking as much care as needed not to hurt her, while her virginal pussy stretched to accommodate my size.

  She bit into my shoulder as her tight flower spread its petals. I soothed her with loving words until I had reached the depth of her snug core. Her hot breath sighed against my ear.

  “Don’t tense up, Ruby. Let me have all of you.”

  “Ronan,” she whispered as she released the tension from her body.

  “Ahhh, my sweet Ruby. You’re doing good…you feel good too. Stay just like that,” I said as I thrust my tongue into her mouth to capture the taste of her precious kiss once more.

  As I moved inside of her, I felt myself come alive. Knowing that she trusted her virginity with me stirred pleasurable sensations in me in a way like never before. Ruby was a beloved gem that had been made for me.

  My hand slid between our bodies to touch her nub. On impact, her body rippled with vibrations from the depths of her soul. When she sighed most delightfully into my mouth and began to undulate her hips in a slow rhythm beneath my thrusting body, I came like fireworks bursting into air.

  That night, while lying with her in my arms, I told her how I felt about her. She was sleeping in my arms like an angel, when I whispered in her ear. “Ruby?”

  She slowly opened her eyes. “Yes Ronan?”

  “I can’t walk in that office tomorrow and act like this didn’t happen,” I began.

  “I’d hope that you wouldn’t ever act like we didn’t make love,” she said with a confused look.

  “What I’m trying to say is I want you to quit your job so we can be together with no inhibitions. So we won’t have to hide our love for each other. I don’t want you to have to deal with the office gossip once Eliza sees the way I look at you.”

  She laughed. “I’m not afraid of Eliza, Ronan.”

  “I’ve heard she spreads quite a story around the office about me. As soon as I fill her position, she’s out of there,” I said. “But even with her gone though, I want to be able to freely love you.”

  “It’ll be tough, but we can do it, Ronan.”

  “But I want you to let me take care of you, in every way.” I stroked her cheek with my finger. “I want you to quit.”

  Ruby sat up in the bed on her elbows.

  “No, I’m not quitting my job! This is the best job I ever had. Before I got it, I was sleeping on my sister’s sofa and barely able to take care of myself, which is something I don’t ever intend to do again. I have to think of my future, too,” she said as worry lines appeared on her forehead. “Maybe this was all a mistake. Please don’t fire me because we slept together.”

  I could see the deep sadness in her eyes as her mind raced. “Ruby, listen to me. I would never fire you,” I said, forcing her to look at me. “I just want to offer you a more permanent position. You don’t have to give up your ambitions; I just want to be the one taking care of you. I’ll help you find a better job in the industry, if you want to work. But being with me, you have options. If that’s being a homemaker, you can. If you want to go back to school for your master’s degree, you can. If you want to start a charity and make a change in the community, you can. I just want to create an environment where we can be together without any inhibitions.”

  “And you feel there’s no way we can do that with me working at Turner?”

  “It’s best not to mix business with pleasure,” I said.

  “It’s kind of late for that, wouldn’t you say?” she asked, glossing over my naked body.

  “Yeah, but this couldn’t be denied. I’m drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and I’ll do anything to maintain our connection.”

  “Ronan, can I trust you to do the things you say?” she asked, as her beautiful brown eyes drew me into her soul.

  “You just trusted me with your virginity. Don’t you trust the things I say to you?”

  “I do, it’s just…”

  “I’m not asking you to be my sack buddy, Ruby. I feel strongly about you. I know I’m asking you to give up a l
ot. How about if I give you a check worth two years’ salary for assurance of my commitment to you?”

  “Ronan, you don’t have to do that.”

  “But I will, if that makes you feel more comfortable about your future. I want to build our foundation so our relationship will go far, and that wouldn’t be best in a boss/employee atmosphere.”

  “You don’t have to pay me to be with you, Ronan.”

  “I just don’t want money to be an issue in your decision.”

  She held my face in her hands, as if she were searching for sincerity. “I’ll put in a two weeks’ notice Monday morning,” she said before pulling my lips to hers for a kiss.

  Chapter 4

  Ruby

  Sure, I had my reservations about quitting my job. It took a big leap of faith to walk through the doors with my two-week notice in hand. Ronan never gave me a reason to look back at the position I vacated. The two-year salary advance was nothing compared to the security I felt with him. He moved me out of my apartment and into a condo that was paid for and in my name the week after I left Turner Enterprises. The following year, I was Mrs. Ruby Michaels.

  My wedding day was the second happiest day of my life, with the first happiest day being when Ronan made sweet love to me for the first time. It was like a classic fairytale. I felt like a true princess on the eve of becoming a queen as my sister, Emerald, helped me into my princess cut wedding dress.

  “Emmy, I can’t believe this is happening,” I said as I admired what seemed like a thousand rubies attached to my frothy wedding dress with the gathered bodice.

  “If you think this is something, wait until you see the gold satin draping over the chairs with strings of rubies sweeping down the centerpieces that match your dress,” Emmy said, pausing to look at me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked her.

  “Nothing. I just wish mom were here, so she could see how beautiful you look. She would be so proud,” Emmy said.

  I had vowed not to get sad about the absence of our mother, the most loving woman to ever live. She lost her battle with breast cancer when I was a young girl, so a lot of cherished moments passed by without her beautiful smile.

  “Emmy…” I placed an arm around my sister’s neck. “Mom is always with me. Her spirit comforts me in times of need, just like she never left.”

  “I just miss her so much,” Emmy cooed as a tear fell from her eye.

  “I do too,” I said, hugging her neck tight. I then handed her my ruby earrings. “Here, put these on for me. We’re going to have a fabulous time today, so I want you to smile and enjoy the moment. Mom would want that for us both.”

  “Ruby, you were always the one that made everyone feel better. You’ve always been my rock and I appreciate you for it,” Emmy said as she smiled heartily at me and finished helping me get dressed.

  Through our silence, I could imagine mama singing her favorite song. Then, Emmy started humming I Won’t Complain, and it was as if mom was right there with us.

  “All of my good days, outweigh my bad days. I won’t complain,” she sang.

  “See, mom is here,” I said touching the place over her heart.

  Emmy hugged me close to her bosom. “Awe, sis, yes she is. And, I’m so happy for you. You’re gorgeous.” She lifted my train for me to walk into the hallway and line up with the wedding party.

  A few minutes later, I strolled into the chapel feeling like a modern-day Cinderella. My cascading bridal bouquet with a single red rose placed in the center of fragrant blossoms was Ronan’s idea. He had said I bloomed for him like the velvety petals of a rose when he took my virginity, and each rose was a symbol of the love I’d given to him.

  I still get the chills when I think of the way Ronan's eyes held mine as I floated down the aisle on my way to devote my life to him and live out my fairytale dream. Yes, I floated on clouds toward the one man I loved more than anything. I remember every vow Ronan promised me that day.

  "My sweet Ruby, I promise to love you and protect you all the days of your life. I promise to be your shelter from any and all storms and to wipe your tears away when you're sad. I will always respect you and never take for granted the beautiful woman God has entrusted to become my wife. You are my soulmate who completes me in every way. I pledge in front of man and God to never be the source of your heartbreak. To break your heart would be like breaking my own, because you are my heart. One heartbeat that beats as one. Last but not least, I promise to never take you or what we have for granted, from this day forward, forevermore."

  His vows were so touching that I did nothing to stop the happy tears that flowed freely. Ronan touched my face ever so tenderly to wipe them away. I had written my vows on an index card a month before our wedding, but I decided not to read them and spoke from my heart instead.

  "I promise to be a faithful and dutiful wife and mother to our future children. I promise to always be open and honest with you, and I promise to protect your heart as if it were my very own. I promise to never go to bed with anger and to love you, Ronan Michaels, with every fiber of my being. When I pray at night, you are the first person I pray for. And when I rise, your smile is the first vision in my mind. I thank you for being the man that you are. I couldn't be blessed with a better man to be my husband. My mind, body and soul are yours for as long as I live, now and for all of eternity."

  Pledging our love on that day, I was never more alive and fulfilled when the minister pronounced us as husband and wife. I was ecstatic. We were happy and so in love. I never would’ve guessed that my best days were behind me.

  Chapter 5

  Ruby

  Ten Years Later

  “You know, I could always catch a later flight,” Ronan said as he rocked me side to side in his embrace. We stood near our bedroom door, neither one wanting to let go. Our love for one another was like a burning ember that refused to ever die.

  “I would love for you to stay a little longer, but you have to get going. You don’t want to miss your flight,” I told Ronan as I placed a hand on his broad shoulder.

  I was a bundle of nerves as I helped him get ready for his business trip. The longer he stayed home, the harder it was to hold my façade together. Chances of Ronan noticing the sadness lingering behind my smile grew with each passing minute. He had to catch his flight, so he could go to a business retreat, and so I’d be left to face the scariest ordeal of my life, alone.

  “What’s bothering you, Ruby?” Ronan asked. The passionate way he looked at me told me he was reading me like a book. He was attuned to my every mood. This very fact could work against me, if I didn’t play my cards just right. I had to do something to prove to him that I was okay before he would leave.

  “I’m fine, honey,” I lied as I buried my anxiety into the deepest recess of my being.

  Months of empty smiles, senseless lies, and cover ups were beginning to wear down on me. It wasn’t easy to walk around and act like my body hadn’t been occupied by a terrible disease, when Ronan and I had been connected on every level in such a deep way. Deceiving my husband, whom I loved more than life itself, was the hardest thing I ever did. But he had to think everything was fine. I didn’t want him stressing about me.

  “That’s what you keep saying, but underneath that gorgeous smile of yours I feel like there’s something wrong. My gut tells me that I need to stay here and be with you, instead of going on this trip. When I get feelings like this, it’s usually something to it. Tell me what’s going on with you, Ruby,” Ronan said as he leaned his face to the side and kissed my hand that was resting on his shoulder.

  “There’s nothing to tell. Everything is fine, Ronan.”

  “Take off your cape, stop trying to be superwoman and let me be there for you, for once, Ruby.”

  My heart fluttered as I withdrew from him and walked away. Ronan was my greatest source of energy, but what I had to deal with today I had to face alone. My knight in shining armor couldn’t fix cancer, and I couldn’t stand the thought of his many
possible reactions to my grim news.

  “I’m perfectly fine,” I assured him with a bright smile plastered across my lips. “I just get a little worried about you traveling is all,” I said as I rummaged through the jewelry on my dresser, attempting in vain to find a pair of earrings. My mind was so far away, I couldn’t even concentrate on the minor task of putting on jewelry.

  Ronan picked up a pair of ruby earrings with encrusted diamonds that he’d gotten me for my birthday. “Here, wear these. A ruby for my rarest of Ruby’s,” he said handing them to me. His choice caused a genuine smile to appear on my lips. “Do you want me to put them on?” he asked.

  “Thanks, babe,” I said, examining his handsome tanned face. He smiled at me as I offered each earlobe for him to place the earrings on. His hand upon my ear sent warmth traveling through my aching body.

  His hand touched the length of my hair. I cringed inside as I thought about the possibility of chemotherapy thinning and shedding every strand of my hair away.

  Ronan, placed my hair behind my ear that had been in my face hiding the sorrow in my eyes. “I like seeing your natural hair, Ruby. I know you like to wear your array of wigs, but your natural hair is so much more beautiful.”

  I took a quick step away from him before I said, “Babe, you have to go. Now, go on and go.” I shooed him toward the door, while faking another smile to solidify the fact that nothing was wrong with me. I didn’t want to talk about my hair with him. It forced me to think of my future… Our future. And it was too painful.

  “Perhaps I’ll leave, now that you have a real smile on your face,” he said, turning me around and pulling me in for a long hug. “I’ve been with the company ten years and this never gets easier. I’m really going to miss you while I’m gone. No man should have to be away from his wife for five days at a stupid retreat. Are you sure you can’t come for a few days?” he said as he clutched me tight and brought me close to his chest.